A few minutes ticked by of Carrie surveying the bedding options before Simon slipped through the door and locked it behind him.
He didn’t smile his usual wolfish grin but kept his face like stone. Under his scrutiny, she wiggled in her seat on the bed.
“How are you doing?” He took a chair from the small table in the corner and flipped it around to straddle the seat.
“Fine I suppose. Considering.”
“What are your plans when we get back to town?” He scooted higher in the chair.
“I may not have told you this, but I plan to find a job. Become as independent as Aunt June. Build my own destiny I suppose.” She placed a hand over her stomach. What if she carried his child? She wasn’t quite certain when her monthly cycle was supposed to happen. It was possible she’d already passed the day. How would she know? Not like Beth, who obviously needed to go into town and see a doctor.
Simon stood. The chair scraped across the floor when he moved it out of his way. “What about us?”
“Us?” she asked, then wanted to suck the words back into her mouth. She didn’t want to hurt him or ruin anything they had. And the question sounded like she didn’t care about them. She loved Simon, more than she’d loved anyone in the world, but she needed to think on it when she could focus again. What if he betrayed her the way her father had done to her mother?
“Do you want me in your life when we get to town?”
“Of course I do. You’re Beth’s brother, and a dearest friend.”
“And that’s all I am to you?”
Was it her exhaustion that made her hear a hint of pain in his words? Did the most sought-after bachelor in Missoula want to continue their dalliance once they returned? Could she do it without losing her heart completely? Or had she already? “Can we just be tonight? You and me, and no one else in the world?”
She stood and stepped toward him like the hussy she prided herself in not being. She would be it for him, though. At least tonight. The rest she would have to mull through until they got to town.
He let out a grateful sigh as she ran her hand over his scars on his chest and followed them up to trace the healed wounds on the side of his face. “I don’t know why you spent a year hiding yourself from everyone. Even with these scars you’re flawless.” She smiled up at him. “They make you look rugged, like a timber beast.”
“Only one woman on earth would agree with you. Aunt June. But let’s not talk about her right now.” He bent down and forged kisses along her neck, then stopped. His breath tickled her skin, and he tugged at the collar of her dress on her shoulder as he spoke again. “I want to see your body.”
She dropped her head to the side to bare her neck to him. Every touch sent tingles radiating through her core.
“You did already.”
He shook his head, and began to lay kisses along her skin again, only to stop to talk. “Not with the firelight illuminating you like it does now. I want to see your naked perfection in every light in this world.” He reached behind her to unbutton her dress. “Even the moonlight dancing on your skin, making you look like a sensual wood nymph out causing mischief, would do your body no justice.”
“More pretty things,” she said, but inside she reveled in the description. Many potential beaus had commented on her hair, or the way her smile tipped back, but never before had she believed the man using the words regarded what he said the way Simon did. His eyes spoke to her, confirming the pretty things he said to be true.
His hands floated across her skin like a leaf on the river and made her stomach churn like the bubbles of a fierce rapid.
Simon finished his work with the fasteners on her back and slipped the dress from her shoulders. The fire on one side warmed half her body, while the slight chill of the cabin cooled the other. The sensation, so unreal, heightened every move Simon made down her skin as he felt her.
He slid his hand over her stomach and she quivered beneath his touch. Heaven above, she wanted his baby. Wanted to be with him forever, and bear him more children than even he could handle. With the way he touched her with such reverence and passion, she’d probably be nothing but pregnant, or at least constantly trying to become so. She brought her mouth to his ear, mimicking the sensual whisper he’d used many times on her. “I don’t want this to be the last time we’re together.”
He drew his head back and searched her eyes until she smiled.
Without saying a word, he picked her up and stepped forward until the cold, hard logs of the cabin wall pressed against her back. The cool wood somehow heightened the heat and anticipation that coursed through her body. The rough fabric of his trousers chafed against the sensitive skin between her legs, but she welcomed the sensation.
He pressed his body against hers, lifting his knee to help hold her upright. The pressure against her most intimate of parts helped ease the ache she’d had since he kissed her neck. Simon pressed his mouth against her lips, and she opened them to him like before at Mother Goose’s Cottage.
His breath hitched. He took the opportunity she’d offered and dipped his tongue into her mouth to run it against her teeth, and then further. She mimicked his action, and he groaned, squeezing her tighter.
After only a few moments of her taking charge, he adjusted his grip on her, and she balanced on the edge of a log beneath her derrière. Movement between her thighs brought her love-hazed attention to where he stripped himself of his trousers using only one hand. She unbuttoned his cotton shirt. Each button exposed more of his scars, and she kept her eyes on the slashes as she eased the shirt from his shoulders and let it drop. Running her hand over the wounds. She bent down and kissed his chest until he finished undressing and lifted her face to his to devour her mouth. He ran his palm up and down one leg, imprinting his warmth from her buttocks to her knee.
After a few passion-filled moments of kisses, he gently nudged his manhood into her, and she sucked in what air she could get. Each thrust of him inside her shot hot waves through her body, building until she wasn’t certain she could take much more. Yet somehow, she craved the welcome torture he bestowed up on her. Needed it like the air she was barely able to get with each breath.
Her stomach quivered, and she clutched his shoulder to help keep her grounded as the tension within her tightened.
“Let it go, my love,” he said, his voice rough, yet somehow soft and needy.
Even if she wanted to argue, her body refused to disobey him. Each movement intensified the waves, teasing her core until she could hold back no longer. She let her head fall against the wall, exposing her neck as the sensation flowed to every inch of her body and then ebbed.
“Yes, my love,” he ground out, and with a final pump expelled his seed inside her.
She clamped her legs around his thigh. Needing him to stay inside her until her unruly body would function as she wished. After a few minutes, instead of easing her down like she’d expected, he picked her up and deposited her on the bed. Running his hand along her stomach, all the way to her curls.
She bit her lip against the new emotions he evoked with the simple touch.
How were they going to go about their lives now? They’d agreed to become lovers, but did he truly love her? Would he stray when he got bored of bedding her? Doubts in the man she had agreed to give herself to was never a great start to an affair. She didn’t want to have doubts.
* * * *
Simon caressed Carrie’s hair as he watched her sleep, snuggled tight against his torso. Her pale skin shone with what light was left from the faded embers of the fire. Soon they would wake and start down the mountain, and life would change for them both. He’d gotten to have her, possess her three times during the night, but even that didn’t seem to be enough. He craved her like a hungry predator does its prey, only he devoured her in a completely different way and could never be satiated.
If only these mo
ments alone with her in the mountain cabin, both here and Mother Goose’s Cottage, could last forever. Nothing but the two of them and the log walls enclosing them in a protected cocoon. Life was different with her. Made sense. Had purpose. With Carrie by his side, he could deal with his demons and be better than the man he was a year ago.
He moved the hair from over her ear and bent down to gently kiss the smooth skin. He whispered so as not to wake her, “I love you.” And then snuggled his face in her hair and rested his head on the pillow they shared. He knew she couldn’t hear him, but it lightened the knot in his chest to confess it to her, even if she was asleep. How would she react if he told her while awake? Would she tell him the same?
His heart soared as the memory of her acceptance replayed in his mind. To Hades with Thomas. Simon would fight like the devil to secure everything he needed to keep Carrie in his arms. Forever. Not just as lovers as she believed, but as man and wife.
Simon’s back muscles tensed. He needed to get contracts with several of the men outside in order to keep his promise to Carrie’s father and secure their future together. He slipped out of bed, tucking the blankets behind her. In less than a minute he dressed and eased out of the cabin door, shutting it gently behind him. He’d counted over a dozen mountain men in the saloon at supper, and more were certain to have made their way out of the path of the fire during the night. With any luck, he’d get a good deal of business secured. It didn’t hurt most were drunk off their rockers.
His spirits lifted even higher than Carrie had already brought them. Now all he had to do was find a new client for the merchandise.
Chapter 22
Carrie secured the pup across her lap and held onto Simon with one arm as they rode. Half to ease her incessant need to ensure he’d not left her, and half to staunch the ache she felt in her heart after having woken up this morning to a few drops of blood staining the sheet where they’d slept. She’d convinced herself she didn’t care whether she carried Simon’s child, but at the sight of the small stain, she knew she’d lied to herself. She wanted his baby as badly as she wanted him, but it wasn’t what she needed at the present time. She’d be the outcast of society and would have a helluva time finding a position in which to support both herself and a babe.
She and Simon would have to be more careful in the future.
They’d ridden for hours down the mountain, but the more homesteads and buildings she saw, the more she knew it was a matter of time before she’d have to face reality. And her parents. The last she didn’t want to do.
The smoke from the mill stacks drifted above the trees ahead of them, and she let her head fall back against Simon’s chest as she took in a deep breath. There were a few months left of the logging season, but with the fire raging the way it still was, she didn’t think they would go back up anytime soon.
Simon adjusted his grip on the reins and kicked the horse faster as Garrett and Beth did the same with their mount.
They entered the mill yards, which were filled with people and trains, the former waiting to find the fate of their livelihood. As the horses pulled to a stop, Aunt June bustled up to them. “Oh, thank the Lord above. I thought I was going to have to come look for all of you myself. And we don’t want an old bag like me traipsing around a forest fire. My lungs couldn’t take it.”
“I don’t think Beth’s did, either,” Garrett said as he dismounted and reached up to help Beth down. “She’s been weak and sick ever since I found her.”
Simon waited for Carrie to readjust her hold on Nots before tugging her down next to him. Carrie let down the little pup, who ran around the mill yard as if waiting for days to be free.
“How long have you felt ill?” Aunt June fussed around Beth like a mother hen.
“A week or two.” Beth swiped at her pale forehead.
“Hmm,” Aunt June answered, frowned, and turned to Carrie. “Miz Carrie. Are you feeling the ill effects of the smoke?”
“A little, but I’m better.” Carrie sighed as a wave of exhaustion took over. “Aside from being tired.”
Aunt June stared at her from head to toe with a keen eye and nodded in satisfaction. “You two women come with me. We’ll get you settled in Beth’s caboose, and I’ll have one of the men bring you some food.”
Simon bent down so only she could hear. “Go back with Beth. I’ll meet you at your parents’ house once I’m done with some business up here.”
“How long?”
Simon lifted his head back up. “Tomorrow at the latest. Tonight if I can manage it.”
Carrie nodded and followed her godmother, scooping up Nots as she walked past. Before long they were settled in Beth’s mountain home, and both held steaming bowls of stew like two orphans clutching a treasure.
“I didn’t realize how hungry I was until this came,” Carrie said, not bothering with manners as she dug into the meal like she’d seen the men do on many occasions.
“I can only imagine what you girls have eaten the last few days. You must be starving.” Aunt June pushed a plate of sandwiches toward Beth, who set her stew down as she shook her head. She slowly picked up a biscuit and nibbled on it like the squirrel who lived in the tree next to Aunt June’s cabin.
Aunt June stared at her with a twinkle in her eye. The same look Carrie had on her face, no doubt. Carrie scooted closer to the edge of her seat. “Beth, would you like me to go with you to see the doctor when we get into town?”
Beth shook her head. “I think I need some rest is all. I haven’t got my land legs back since we got off the river.”
“Or you’ve got a wee one in your belly,” Aunt June suggested.
“Oh…no,” Beth stuttered. “There’s no way. Is there?”
“You’re a married woman, child. It’s possible you have a little Jones growing inside you.” Aunt June took a sandwich and placed it on her plate, then turned to Carrie. “But you, young lady. You better be peckish because of what you’ve been through.”
Carrie took a drink of her water to calm the nerves Aunt June’s words evoked. There was no way her godmother knew of her indiscretions. Carrie needed to keep a poker face. “Don’t worry about me. It’s Beth who needs to see the doctor. Can’t you persuade her to go?”
Aunt June took a second of staring straight into Carrie’s eyes before she turned back to Beth. “We’ll both convince her once we get into town. Wouldn’t want that babe to surprise her one day when she wakes up on the mountainside with a fat ol’ stomach and no way to put on her logger spikes.”
Aunt June chuckled at her joke, and the group remained silent while they ate their meal. A few moments later, Beth scooted back from the table and stood. “If you’ll excuse me. I need to lie down.”
“By all means,” Aunt June said. “You need plenty of rest in the months to come.”
Beth simply shook her head at the older woman’s comment and disappeared into the sleeping quarters of the railcar.
After Carrie finished eating what she could handle of the soup and sandwiches, she scooted back in her chair and relaxed. “How long do you suppose the fire will last?”
Aunt June shrugged. “There’s no tellin’. Could be days, could be over a month. It all depends on God and whether or not he decides to grace us with some summertime showers.”
“And what’s going to happen to the people? And the Mill?”
“Most of the workers are Bonner boys, so they’ll go home for a spell and wait out the fire. The Missoula boys will either stick around and wait, or cut their losses and go home. Once the fire settles, Victoria plans to send the boys back up.”
“Will we go with them?” Carrie wasn’t certain whether she wanted to or not. Victoria had made it perfectly clear she only had a job until the end of summer, and frankly she was tired of the mountain. But what if Simon chose to go back up, and she stayed behind? Things might not be the same once he returned. He’d m
ore than likely forget about why he’d asked her to be his lover and move on. Or she’d find a position somewhere and move out to the country. No. She needed to be wherever Simon was or break off their new arrangement.
“I’ll go back up,” Aunt June said, interrupting her thoughts. “You, my dear, need to get home. There’s been some decisions made in your family that you might want to be privy of.”
“What decisions?” Carrie wanted to massage her temples, but to do such a thing would be rude. She hated subtle hints. She’d much rather get the blunt truth and be done with the conversation.
“That’s not for me to divulge. But before you go, remember everyone involved loves you dearly and only wants to see you happy.”
Carrie glared. “What do you know?”
Her godmother shook her head. “I can’t say, but be prepared to fight for what you want, and don’t take anything less.”
“Good God, woman. Out with the gossip.”
Aunt June gave a simple pinched smile and sipped from her cup. Carrie tried not to scowl at the woman’s halfhearted attempt at a warning. If the last few months in the lumber camp had given her anything, it was a new lack of care for etiquette. Which she’d have to check starting now. Especially if she was going to have any standing in the fight with her parents. Which, by Aunt June’s hints, was imminent.
* * * *
Simon left Victoria’s office satisfied. For the first time in his life, he’d given up something he loved for someone else, and it felt freeing. No longer would he work for the Great Mountain Lumber Mill, but if the stars aligned he’d be in the leather business. With the most beautiful woman in the world on his arm. Staring up at him like he didn’t have a disfigurement that most people despised.
All he had to do now was secure a ride, then meet the mountain men with the money for the hides. Where was he going to get a big fish client to buy hats and shoes? Chances were the mercantile around town were already contracted out. And the Salish tribes made their own clothing. He might have to go out of town to get the client, but that would take time, and he’d already lost almost a week of the month given him to secure the clients. He needed more time.
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