by Trina M. Lee
Owen weaved his way through the crowd to a beat-up white van in the parking lot. He flung open the back doors and dragged out a bound man. The crowd bristled with anticipation. I felt it like insects beneath my skin.
Shock seized me when I got a look at the guy Owen roughly dragged forward. I knew him. In fact, I’d chopped off three of his fingers. The child-pimping pig was shoved in front of Dayne, falling to his knees with a grunt.
“Get a good whiff of his scent, ladies and gentlemen.” Dayne’s laugh was like a harsh bark. “This child-abusing fuck chose the wrong city. Now we’re going to show him what we do to sick bastards like him.”
Wolves in both forms surged forward to inhale the man’s scent. I knew it already so I remained fixed in place, watching what I was sure was just the beginning of a very interesting night.
“Alexa.” Dayne ambled over, having taken notice of me. “Nice of you to join us. I hope you’ll be on your best behavior.”
I frowned. Dayne had never trusted me even though I’d gone out of my way to prove that he could. The older, hardened werewolf was unlikely to change his opinion regardless of my efforts.
“I wouldn’t worry,” I said, cool and calm. “There are more of you than there are of me.”
That didn’t mean shit. I had enough power to take them down, every last one of them. But if Dayne felt that he had the upper hand, maybe he would chill the fuck out.
“Yes, there sure is.” Dayne gestured to Izzy with his cigar. “She tells me you sprung her out of the FPA prison. So I owe you my thanks. I want you to know what it means to me. I know you didn’t have to do that. Maybe you’re not really so bad.”
This was why he’d invited me here? I’d expected more. I smiled even though I wanted to tell him to shove it. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
With an ominous chuckle Dayne nodded and returned to the center of the pack. “Alright my brothers and sisters, let’s move this party to the River Valley.”
Without hesitation those on four feet bolted from the parking lot, headed in the direction of the River Valley. The heavily tree-lined valley followed the river, as the name suggested. It was filled with walking trails and parks, a burst of nature in the middle of the city. It was where Jez often ran during the full moon when at her apartment. Filled with secluded spaces, it offered many places to slink around unseen. However, I wasn’t sure a pack this size would go unnoticed if we happened to come across someone out for a late-night stroll.
Owen hauled the pimp to his feet and dragged him back to the van. I watched him drive away with a cloud of exhaust spewing behind.
“So what now?” I asked Izzy who was already disrobing.
“Now Owen drops the guy somewhere in the Valley, and we find him.” She flung her t-shirt onto a nearby car and reached for her belt. She was tight and lithe with a frame built for running. No doubt she’d be amazing as a wolf.
“Ready?” Shaz turned to me as if seeking to divert his attention from the gorgeous woman getting naked beside us. “I have to admit, I’m kind of nervous. But excited.”
All around us people were becoming wolves. A blur of purple caught my eye as I spied the Crimson Sin singer. She stretched her naked limbs, looking up to the moon before dropping down on all fours as a deep brown wolf. Izzy was right behind her, a magnificent black wolf that sprang from the parking lot with amazing speed.
Shaz grinned and, with a wink, peeled off his t-shirt. I licked my lips, wondering how I’d forgotten how impressive he was. Though the wolf ruled in me then, I still had the urge to sink fangs into his soft flesh. With a groan that became a sigh, I slipped my dress off and focused on the moon thrumming through my veins.
Shaz pulled me close for a lingering kiss that caused my two sides to battle for dominance. I wanted him on his knees, begging. Definitely time to get wolfy. This was not a vampire night.
Embracing the beast within, I clenched my teeth against the brief burst of pain that flooded me, cherishing the exquisite bliss that followed. Only when I was an ash-blonde wolf shaking out the stiffness of having been in a human form for too long did Shaz shift. There was relief in his jade eyes. We were so rarely wolf together anymore.
The thrill drove me to nip him playfully when he was on all fours. The wolves surrounding us headed for the River Valley, and we ran along with them. With the chilly fall night air in my face and the wild aroma of predatory beasts on the air, I was in my happy place.
We darted through the canopied trails, working our muscles and pushing our bodies. Being a hybrid had changed my wolf. I was faster now. Stronger. I could feel it in every fiber of every muscle as I ran, feet barely touching the ground. Shaz kept up with me, but he was pushing himself hard.
After exerting some energy we slowed down, pausing to sniff out the trails. All around us wolves moved in and out of the trees. Some of them were focused on the hunt, lifting their noses to the air before dropping them to the ground, seeking any hint of their prey’s scent. Others had no interest in the hunt at all. They were more interested in stalking one another through the foliage, wading into the river, and even partaking in carnal activity on the riverbank.
Shaz and I exchanged a glance as we trotted by a pair of wolves engaged in a mating dance like none I’d seen before. I was nobody to judge how others enjoyed themselves though I preferred my sexy fun times in a human body.
We stopped to wrestle in the grass, playing as we once had, when nothing else mattered but being wolf and being together. I bit Shaz’s ear before pushing him over and nipping at his flank. He fought back with enough enthusiasm to make my heart bleed. Our wolves had missed each other desperately. How did this mated for life thing work when one of us could no longer die a mortal death?
Howls up ahead caused our ears to perk up. Someone had picked up the pimp’s scent. Excitement flowed through the pack, like a ripple across water. Though somewhere deep inside my mind I was aware that being part of such a hunt could be dangerous, both sides of me were predators and watching the creep get torn apart was something I wanted to see.
The sense of urgency spread like wildfire. Several wolves lingered, preferring to chase one another. The rest moved with speed and agility. Unable to resist the call of the hunt, we ran with them.
My feet barely touched the cold concrete of the walking path. Over a small footbridge and back onto the trail, Shaz and I raced toward what lay ahead.
Along the way we passed a wolf fight that was drawing its own crowd. I slowed to check it out. They were snarling and snapping, circling each other inside a bigger circle formed by other pack members. I didn’t know how Dayne managed to lead such a large pack. There had to be two or three hundred wolves in total. I imagined fights broke out all the time. Shaz had been part of one during our first visit to Doghead. I guess he fit right in.
Our path intersected with another, and the scent of blood drew me. We rounded a bend and came upon a grassy patch littered with wolves. They circled the pimp who was on his knees, shaking and pleading. The blood seemed to be coming from his scraped knees.
I hung back, reluctant to get any closer. The gathered wolves were taking turns lunging at him, snapping their vicious fangs in his face. It was a game. They were going to terrify the man almost to death before finally killing him. Torment at its finest.
A burly brown and grey wolf that I recognized as Dayne stood to one side of the circle, watching the pack play with the toy he’d brought them. Satisfaction and anticipation warred for dominance on his furry face. Hanna was at his side, a rich deep brown wolf that betrayed her deep auburn hair as a definite dye job. She watched the action with an expression so neutral, it could have been straight up boredom.
Owen was right in there with the others. He was the first to draw blood with a nip on the man’s hand, held out to ward off attack. Blood on the air fed the pack’s increasing fervor. They were shoving each other aside in their efforts to get in the guy’s face.
Wolves rushed past us as more of th
e pack joined the party. Shaz started forward, then stopped, checking me for direction. I couldn’t be part of this. Though every one of my cells screamed for violence and destruction, I knew that the potential for a mass slaughter lived inside me. It had happened before.
I pawed at the ground and shook my head, hoping he could see it, the danger that lurked inside me. His eyes widened, and he drew close enough for me to see myself reflected in his pupils. An ash wolf stared back at me, but her eyes were midnight blue.
No! It couldn’t be. I was wolf. My eyes should be brown. Like before my death, I still couldn’t access my vampire power while in wolf form. But unlike before, I could feel it there, like a cobra, coiled and flared, waiting to strike.
It was a cold, hard realization that I was no longer divided into two separate beings as I’d once been. Now they existed together, as one new and unique creature. No longer was I the vampire and the wolf. I was both. All the time.
A whimper escaped me. Drowned out by the pack’s growls and snarls, it was heard only by Shaz. I didn’t belong here with them. With him.
The pimp, knowing his time was fast running out, began to fight back. He threw fists at the next wolf to lunge in too close. A minor attack for a werewolf really, until the guy produced a small switchblade from inside his shoe and plunged it into Owen’s neck.
All hell broke loose. The pack’s noise grew into a nightmarish discord. Dayne snapped into action. He seized the man’s arm in his strong jaws and bit down. The knife fell to the grass. A scream rang out, but Dayne’s fangs, buried in the pimp’s throat, silenced it.
Wolf blood stained the air, finding its way to me though I stood a great distance away. The night was charged with violence, blood, and now death. My stomach clenched, and I drew my lips back in a fang-baring snarl.
Owen. I wanted Owen.
I sprang forward without a coherent thought, driven by the instinct of two monsters. Because he truly was my anchor and because he knew me so damn well, Shaz placed himself in my path.
Baring fangs, he growled a warning. While one monster inside me wanted to heed that warning, the other laughed in his face with a responding snarl. I advanced on him, issuing a challenge I knew he would accept. Shaz would never stand by and allow me to do something I’d regret. He was willing to put himself in harm’s way to ensure that didn’t happen.
As I fought a battle inside myself, I grew uncomfortably aware of the power in Owen’s blood. The scent of it took hold of me, giving my vampire side encouragement. I didn’t want to hurt Shaz. Somewhere inside me I knew that. Or at least I thought I did.
But even as we faced off, the scent of blood and the toxic energy of death manipulated me. If I couldn’t feast on Owen, then Shaz would do just fine.
Chapter Eight
I lunged at Shaz, void of thought or reason, running on pure instinct. He braced for the hit, twisting his body so I couldn’t sink fangs into a vital organ or artery. He seemed to anticipate my every move as I made it. Somehow he managed to evade my attacks despite my greater strength and speed.
Unafraid, he got right in my face with fangs snapping so that I could feel the air move from the force of his powerful jaws. The war inside me continued, my two sides now one but seeking to divide. I faltered as he drove me back, away from the pack. What was happening to me? Was I so far gone down the rabbit hole of madness that I would hurt the only person who made me remember who I was?
The brief moment of clarity was enough for me to know I had precious few seconds to take advantage of it before my dark side resurfaced. Turning tail, I fled. I headed back the way we’d come, dodging wolves and leaping small bodies of water with the ease of having wings.
Panic engulfed me. My heart raced, something it hadn’t done since before my death. Away. That was all I knew. I had to get away.
Staying would mean a fight with Shaz and maybe even Dayne. Having the pack wipe me out wasn’t quite how I’d like to meet my final end, though it had its appeal.
By the time I reached the Doghead parking lot, I was racked with agony. Dayne was right to believe that I wasn’t wolf enough for his pack. Rejection was a tough pill to swallow, even more so when it was just.
Frustrated with the need to scream and cry out my confusion and pain, I flung myself on the ground beside my car. The shift back was painful, but I didn’t care. It was nothing compared to the hurt eating me up inside.
Naked and quaking, I lay on the ground and pounded my fist into the pavement, over and over, until blood stained my skin.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered to the night. “I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can.” The words were so softly spoken that I thought I’d imagined them. Shaz’s warm hands on my back brought forth another wave of inner agony.
He knelt beside me and gathered me close, pressing his face to mine. He was wrong. I was sure of it. There was a reason people like me didn’t exist. Because they couldn’t. Nobody could face this night after night, torn between good and evil, light and dark, ruled by both and somehow neither.
“I’m a killer, Shaz. I am the very thing I was called to fight. The fight is inside me now. And I can’t win.” Feeling his warmth, breathing him in, it was the breaking point. I needed to taste him, to have him inside me in all ways.
“That’s not true. You’ve already overcome so much.” Shaz gripped my chin, forcing me to meet his worried gaze. “You’re the strongest person I know. Don’t you dare give up now. I can’t be here without you.”
I smiled and shook my head sadly. “You’re wrong. I’m the ball and chain that’s holding you back, and you’d rather let me weigh you down when you should be gnawing your own leg off to get away.” Unable to resist, I eyed his jugular before claiming his lips in a kiss that had him oozing desire. “You will always be prey to me now. I can’t be who you need me to be.”
Tense, his heart rate sped up, feeding my hunger. He was unafraid when he said, “You already are. If you want me, Lex, then have me. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Goddammit, Shaz.” In a sudden fit of temper, I slammed a fist into the ground, finding satisfaction in the crunch of bones and sharp, searing pain that shot through my hand. “What will it take to make you walk away? How can there be any part of you that still wants any of this? My crazy must be rubbing off on you.”
He caught my hand in his and held it like one might hold a baby bird. I wasn’t fragile. Already the damage I’d done was healing. Still, Shaz didn’t treat me like the inhuman creature I was. He treated me like something he would do anything to protect.
“If you’re done with me, with us, then I’ll walk away.” With a heavy sigh, Shaz tucked my hair behind my ear. Apparently oblivious to the cold, hard asphalt beneath us, he had attention only for me. “Tell me you don’t need me, that you don’t love me. If you can’t do that, then don’t expect me to abandon you when you need me the most.”
“This has Arys written all over it. You guys have talked about this.” I mustered a half-hearted laugh at his nod. The warmth in his touch beckoned. “I will always love you, but I don’t want to be the one who keeps you from living. Really living.”
His heartbeat echoed in my head, a steady rhythm that brought forth the memory of his blood on my tongue. I couldn’t keep fighting this. With my hands on his chest, I tried to shove him away, but he held tight, refusing to release me.
“Trying to pretend that I can have a normal life without you isn’t living,” he snapped, his usually lengthy patience cut short by the emotion of the moon’s pull. “If my years are limited, then I’d rather not waste them living a lie. You shouldn’t either.”
With a groan and a few obscenities, I surrendered. There was no way I could argue that. Shaz had a point. Though I wanted him to be happy, I didn’t want him to be less than the magnificent creature he was.
Fumbling for a retort and struggling to keep my gaze off his tempting jugular, I muttered, “I’ll hurt you. I want to now, and I can barely
stop myself.”
We both knew that there was more than one meaning to my confession. The harsh reality was that I’d already left scars on his heart. We’d each made some shitty choices that caused the other pain. In my current state, I didn’t see how that would change.
Shaz chose to overlook that. Gripping my shoulders, he tilted his head, exposing his lovely neck. “Then hurt me. You know I love it. I know you need it. So let me be what you need right now.”
Willing victims didn’t usually do it for me; I preferred a challenge. However, no other willing victim was my wolf’s mate. And no other ached for my bite the way Shaz did. Drawing him into the world of vampire power and its addictive influence hadn’t been my intent, but it had happened anyway. If we both wanted it, was it wrong?
“I don’t want to take advantage of you.” It was a feeble attempt at talking sense into the both of us. Even as I said it, I was giving his naked frame a slow appraisal.
“You’re not taking anything. I’m giving it.” Shaz’s eyes were all wolf when he crushed me against him, his lips on mine in a demanding kiss.
The last of my resolve vanished. He was so very warm, and I was eager to fill myself with that lively wolf heat. The flavor of his energy was comforting in its familiarity and enticing in its wildness.
I threw my arms around him, losing myself in his kiss. His hands on my waist gripped me with clawed fingertips that bit into my skin. The dizzying sensation of emotional-driven desire overwhelmed me. Though I wasn’t sure I could handle it, the blood hunger never gave me a chance to stop and reconsider.
The feather-like softness of his platinum hair between my fingers coaxed forth a sigh. Why couldn’t it be this way always? Instead the precious moments of passion and love were tainted by the things we both had done, the things we had yet to do.
“Stop feeling guilty,” Shaz whispered against my lips. “This is about us. About me. I’m yours. No need to feel bad about that.”