by Trina M. Lee
Falon was the easiest way to work out the darkest parts of my hunger, the twisted, depraved part of me that I didn’t want Shaz or Arys to see. I hadn’t seen Falon since we trapped Shya, and I didn’t want to see him. Not really. And yet, I hungered for it. In a cruel twist of fate, while I’d been concerned Falon might form an addiction to me, I’d overlooked my own growing craving for him. I could either work out my violent hunger on him or hunt down a creep who deserved it and play with him until I got bored and made a bloody mess.
Deep in the recesses of my mind, a voice I didn’t recognize whispered, Why not just do both?
“So do you think you can make it out to run with us that night? I think it would be good for Allie to have you and Jez there too.” Kylarai was discussing the next full moon, when Allie would experience her first shift.
I dragged my focus back to her, cringing as I tried to figure out how to tell her I couldn’t make it. “Ky, there’s no good way to say this.”
“Oh God, what now?” She looked stricken.
“Shya did something to me,” I said, knowing there was no way to sugarcoat this. “Kind of a curse on my wolf. It’s tied to the full moon. Until I know exactly what it does to me, I can’t risk putting any of you in danger. I’m sorry. I wish I could be there.”
“Holy shit, Alexa.” She shook her head, and her brown waves tumbled about her shoulders. “Every time I think my life is boring, I just talk to you, and suddenly I’m grateful for it.”
Shya’s curse weighed heavily on my mind, but there was no sense obsessing on it. Of course that didn’t mean I wouldn’t. Every curse had a loophole. Even the one we all had twisted together. If the amulet housing Shya was destroyed, he would be set free. Hence the angelic keeper.
I glanced at the mark in the palm of my hand. It too had a loophole. We just had to figure out what it was.
The vibration of my phone buzzing in my bag grabbed my attention. I reached in and dug around in the mess of loose change, mail, and lip balm.
I was hopeful it would be Shaz. He’d been spending a lot of time at Doghead, keeping an eye on the remaining pack and trying to earn Hanna’s trust. Since the FPA had refused to deal on the wolves, she’d been reluctant to meet with me. Learning that her wolves had randomly attacked Echo’s husband as retaliation for Arys’s actions put Hanna in a rough spot. I understood; I was right there with her.
Fighting one another was useless when we had a shared enemy in the FPA. Our conflicts would only work to their advantage. What we needed was to come together to free the wolves they held prisoner and to proclaim to the government agency that we would not be controlled.
Unfortunately, the FPA had secret agents walking among us. Vampires and werewolves willing to work for them, believing like my sister did that they were protecting mankind from the monsters of the night while forgetting that mankind were monsters in their own right.
Tension between vampires and werewolves would be to the benefit of our enemies. However, if Hanna and her wolves wanted to continue this war started by a reckless vampire and an unforgiving wolf, then we must all play our roles. I would wait for Doghead to make their next move, certain it would come despite Shaz’s efforts to arrange peace.
I pulled out my phone and froze. It wasn’t Shaz’s name on the screen. It was Kale’s.
I had just seconds to decide to answer or ignore. My hand moved of its own accord, connecting the call. “Hello?”
A pause, then the silence in the background was broken by his smooth tone. “Hey, Alexa. How are you?”
“Um, good,” I said, knowing I sounded as awkward as I felt. “You?”
“Well, you know, it’s Vegas.” Another pause. “Jez filled me in on the Halloween fun you all had. Sorry I missed it.”
His voice reached inside me, taking me back to his bedroom, to the sensation of being wrapped in his safe embrace. Noting Ky’s curious glance, I gave her a tight smile and held up a finger to indicate I needed a moment. With a nod, she jogged to catch up with Allie and Jez, giving me some privacy.
“Don’t be. It was a gong show.” I gripped the phone tight, racking my brain for something to say.
Shya’s little gathering had affected us all with flashbacks to the past and forced awareness of what lurked within us. We’d all been reluctant to discuss our personal experiences in great detail, leaving me to wonder how it had been for the others. I was grateful Kale had not been among us that night.
Across the distance I could feel Kale’s hesitation. “I just wanted to make sure Jez was ok. She talked a lot about trying to find a way to keep her father’s dark side from manifesting. She’s been talking to Willow about it. Did you know that?”
“No, I didn’t.” I eyed Jez up ahead, wondering why she didn’t tell me.
“Is she doing ok? You know, with the drugs and everything.” Kale did care deeply about Jez. I didn’t doubt that for a moment, though I hoped that wasn’t the only reason he called.
“She’s doing fine. Really.” And she was. I was proud of her. “We’re just out shopping right now. She’s browsing cell phone cases with Allie and Kylarai.” I lingered several feet from the kiosk they’d gathered around, watching people pass but not really seeing them. A lump lodged in my throat. It hurt to breathe.
“Right. She told me about Allie. It’s great that you guys could help her like that. And Kylarai for taking her in, she’s such a gem. I’m sorry for her recent loss.”
Another horrible, awkward silence. I groaned inwardly and let my head fall hard against the wall at my back. “How’s Jenner? And Juliet? She’s not getting into trouble, is she?”
Kale chuckled, and the sound made my knees weak. “She’s an O’Brien. What do you think?”
“I don’t even want to know, do I?”
“Jenner is… Well, he’s an interesting guy. Not really so bad once you get to know him.”
“I doubt that,” I scoffed with a short laugh.
Kale felt so close despite being so far. I’d thought having him refuse to contact me was painful, but this was worse. It was torment. I’d learned to numb out the part of me that was his because it didn’t matter. It could never be. It was weakness.
“Well,” he said after another brief and increasingly uncomfortable silence. “I thought I should check in with you, make sure Jez was doing well. Glad to hear that she is.”
“Is that the only reason you called?” I blurted. It was a spontaneous but rash and stupid move. Why did I have to make things worse?
“You know it’s not,” he said, wistful longing in his soft tone. “I needed to hear your voice. I miss you so fucking much, Alexa. Every night I have to talk myself out of getting on a plane and coming home.”
I’d been so gutted by the way our last conversation had gone that I’d doubted what I meant to him. The relief I felt at his words flooded my eyes with scarlet tears, forcing me to drop my gaze as I blinked them away.
“I’m sorry,” I said, meaning everything that had gone down between us since that very first kiss. It was all I could offer, and it would never be enough.
My voice was thick with a swell of emotion. Could he hear the pain I’d so carefully stored away since he left? Pretending it didn’t exist because there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.
“Take care of yourself, ok?” Kale’s voice wavered. “I worry about you. I know I make you weak. But I need you to be strong. So be who you’re meant to be. Be strong.”
There were no words to properly capture how much love could be encompassed in someone’s voice. Hearing it chipped away at my already fragile willpower.
“Come on, Alexa. Take a picture with us.” Allie called me over with a wave of her hand and a smile that warmed my wounded heart.
The three of them stood outside one of those tiny photo booths designed to make people cram inside and take ridiculous but fun photos. How could I resist?
“Get your ass over here, Lex,” Jez joined in as Kylarai fished change for the booth from her wall
et.
“I have to go,” I said, anguish in each word. “The girls are calling me.”
“Alright. Have a nice night.”
“Kale?” I clutched the phone, desperate to maintain this connection. Moving on. What a joke.
“Yeah?”
“I miss you, too.”
I hung up and blinked a few more times, sucking in several deep breaths as I sought to compose myself. Dropping my phone back into my bag, I ambled over to the girls with a grin pasted firmly in place.
A peek inside the photo booth had me laughing. “We’re never going to all fit in there.”
“Wanna bet?” Jez challenged with a wink.
There was much laughter and a little swearing as we piled into a booth barely big enough for two let alone four. Once we were crammed in, limbs all over the place, it was next to impossible to get all of us in the picture.
Jez pushed my face aside as she struggled to get her ‘good side’ into the frame. When I pinched her arm to get her hand off my face, she snarled. Allie erupted into giggles while Kylarai shook her head in an amused, exasperated mom-like manner. As the flash went off, capturing us in an outrageously unflattering light, I couldn’t help but laugh too.
The women surrounding me were the strongest women I’d ever known. Each one of them had faced more horror and pain than any one person should ever have to. They were not merely survivors. They were victors. Warriors. I was blessed to call them my family.
We all needed to know moments of weakness in order to learn how to wield the strength within. That was what I told myself as my heart both ached and rejoiced.
As we filed out of the booth to wait for our photos to shoot out of the little slot, I was grateful to share this moment of carefree fun with them. We needed to make the most of these moments while we could.
Though I couldn’t know what lay ahead, I knew it would test us all. As long as we were on this journey, there would be trials. There would be falling down and rising up. Overwhelming would lead to overcoming.
Kale’s words echoed in my ears. Be strong.
The End
Check out TrinaMLee.net for news and information on the next book in the Alexa O’Brien Huntress series, Hurt: A Shaz Richardson Novella.
About the Author
Trina writes urban fantasy that is dark and gritty with a twist of romance and horror but which is ultimately about people in dark places discovering who they are and what they’re made of.
A lover of rock music, vampires and muscle cars, Trina is a dreamer who always secretly wanted to be a rockstar. She lives in Alberta, Canada with her bass player husband, fierce teenage daughter and three annoying but super cute cats. She has a Venus Fly Trap that loves baby talk and a Dodge Charger named Delilah.
Trina loves to hear from readers so don’t hesitate to drop her a line.
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