One loves to revisit and soak up interesting reports and stories. Do you like how one jumps from one topic or subject to the next? Do you appreciate and admire one’s disdain for rules, regulations and accepted form? It’s quite possibly one of his or her favourite things to do, break the rules that is. Hilarious, of course. He or she is making this sound like the missives of an outlaw and one isn’t afraid to admit they happen to look up to outlaws now and then. Everyone should take a page from the book of psychopaths, psychophants and killers once in a while, they’re a veritable gold mine!
He or she is in a rush to keep writing because one can’t sit idly. They worry at the prospect of downtime. What will he or she do? How will they last through the night? Will he or she float away and out into space? Their hair is too short to be pulled out from anxiety and frustration! One loves how a window opens whenever a door closes. The feeling of accomplishment over the demonstration of will power when shedding any kind of vice is addictively satisfying. It’s amazing how the chains you break free from curiously give birth to a new and positive alternative. Life is incredible that way, wouldn’t you agree?
Does this please you? His or her bondage by your hand? One knows now that if they need to fill up time then their creative outlets are within reach and ready to serve. It hadn’t been an easy road to reach that point and he or she had never thought it would ever be possible to be able to tolerate the bottomless expanses in between action. Now he or she can burn, then rest and repeat again. It took a while.
One isn’t going to rush anymore, they’ve got no reason to at all. None in the world. There’ve been so many instances where anger, frustration and restlessness have not only crept up but boiled up from the inside. Eruptions outward into flailing manifestations have scared him or her time and time again. They’ve surrendered whenever possible and subsequently withstood countless moments of pain and discomfort. Each and every time one has come out the other side successfully but with it would also bring a new and deeper level to confront.
One sometimes wonders if it will ever end. Each barrage of torment when conquered brings renewed strength yet then something new rears its ugly head when he or she least expects it. They can’t help but wonder whether something is wrong, seriously wrong. Is it curable or utterly hopeless? Is one doomed to be at the feet of such horrors forever?
As long as he or she can bury themselves in whole or in part in their writing, photography and music (or any other artistic pursuits) it helps he or she feel more worthy of each breath taken. It makes them feel like they’re keeping busy or at least busy enough. There’s also that expression, “worth your salt” or something to that effect. Anyway it makes him or her feel good and helps one tolerate disappointment or uncertainty about the future or anything else. One is grateful for such a thing and they’d even go so far as to call it a gift. It is not destructive but recreative.
One guesses that’s the whole point or byproduct of art! He or she may feel lonely but no longer frustrated and maybe they’ve even surpassed some or most of that too. It was a habitual loneliness, they saw such extreme futility in certain acts and responses so he or she simply gave up any chance of success or even participation! However one still feels kind of lonely and maybe they’ll share that feeling with another lonely friend of theirs. It seems like the new positive habits they’ve been developing are laying the foundation necessary which would allow one to build new and hopefully lucrative activities and pursuits! Since establishing healthy, nonaddictive habits one can sense a space forming allowing for new endeavours to come to fruition! They are very excited about this.
As long as they can keep writing or simply keep their hands busy or maintain his or her valve to an open position so creativity can continue pouring through them then one won’t fall into despair or boredom. One does what they feel and that’s it.
One thinks they’re learning to ignore the ignorance. They’ve got to remind themselves about something or another or else it will slip their mind and evade their memory rather quickly. He or she must scribble down reminders but if handy they’ll type their reminder into a digital device, however more often than not what one needs to keep in mind is just shy of being worthy of digital storage!
Donuts, delicious donuts. Coffee, colours and wonderfully appropriate cinematography. Absolutely admirable visuals! Let’s see if we can make friends all the while resisting our deepest darkest self-destructive vices. We live next door to each other and nod now and then just to keep it all on the level. There’s a code of secrecy between us all. Let’s keep it safe, alive and well!
Chapter 16
He or she is in a rush again to get back on that couch and watch some more TV. Hurry up Geronimo the actors are waiting! The long haul, it’s not a trek for the faint of heart! They’re going to take it easy tonight. It’s nice to be able to see over the summit, there’s nothing but a horizon of hope! It’s a wonderful pink sky and the air is scented with enlightenment. They’ve learned how to absorb the frustration, restlessness and burning. One still needs practice though because they haven’t completely eradicated the disturbances yet and one probably won’t for a little while longer. He or she is likely going to need to evolve past this entirely like they’ve done with so many other past afflictions, mental obstacles, traps and mountains.
He or she is coming upon the end of one of the most amazing psychological journeys they’ve ever had the pleasure to take part in. Stories, epics and tomes with such rich lessons and wisdom brimming and overflowing! What a fine mess, a blessed mess! What will one do? Maybe they’ll just lie down and worry, sit down and worry, play guitar and worry. One won’t do what they usually do at other times during this time because then they’ll run out of things to do! If one were to shift his or her whole schedule forward it would create a new and open expanse and they’d fall right into its bottomlessness! They’d lose themselves and never find their way back! Let’s all get some rest now because it’s been a long day. Now that we’re all organized let’s look to the future and the long trek still ahead of us. One didn’t take that drink with you because he or she knew you’d part ways and leave them poisoned with no hope for miles. Good riddance! How about we chalk this up as an example and keep it secret forever?
He or she is so happy they’ll get to see their favourite people again next year. Oh it’s such a treat they say! They’re overcome with joy! You’ve got such a pretty face and a fine figure, what has one done or who has one helped to deserve to lay eyes upon such a treasure? Speaking of treasure, don’t you know that one man’s junk is another man’s…? He or she doesn’t want to ruin it for you but if it should remain elusive then you might probably be better off without it! Have you ever considered such a notion? Maybe it never even crossed your path. One envies your natural ability to elude expressions, people, places and things. Would you be so kind as to impart that precious skill onto the rest of us someday?
Oh! All he or she wishes to do now is put one foot in front of the other and continue toward the marathon’s end. They saw the finish line when they passed that hill a few miles back and now all he or she can do is envision it in his or her mind’s eye. That’s good enough don’t you think? How about he or she ignores what you think and proceeds according to their intuition instead? Never has it failed them yet! Isn’t it nice to trust your instincts? The secret is inside him or her, the master within. “The proof is in the pudding.” One wonders how that pudding might taste. Is it chocolate? Vanilla? What about rice? Would one be able to have seconds if they asked for it? Does the request have to be made politely or could he or she be rude about it? Basically the fact he or she is trying to uncover here is whether pudding is an inalienable right or not?
Hi, how’s your attitude? What’s their name? Everybody knows that the jig is up and wishing won’t save us anymore. Trouble on the front line. The food on his or her plate is way too spicy, could he or she have a glass of milk? They won’t fall for your tricks ever again, never again! The sting lasted a long ti
me and left a bruise they’ll not soon forget. Even if it gets tough, feels tough, one needs to keep walking and listen to them not! How much more can you complain? Do you feel it worth your persistence? Why don’t we continue after dinner or maybe tomorrow after breakfast but it’s got to happen quickly. Does it look good now? Have you got a better idea? Thank you very much.
He or she watched you coming slowly down the road. Once in your fancy car and the other time on foot wearing your nicest blue suit with a red rose tucked in the lapel. You also wore a blue top hat, true class. It seemed like a really warm suit able to withstand a crisp fall day! The moods your sounds put us in are absolutely wonderful, you never fail! One is so grateful to you for creating such an opus and wishes they were all here to witness it! Is it possible that there really is a shred of humanity left inside you? Maybe even more than a shred? If so, would you please send those involved a letter notifying them of this miraculous happening?
They’ll be sure to get back to you with their utmost regards and maybe even a cookie or a fruit basket. Thank you for being so courageous! It was way more than one could have asked for or expected or wished or hoped! Thank you dear for the help, care and attention. You’ve cooked so many delicious meals for them that he or she could hardly ever repay you in a million years! Blankets warm not only the body but the heart and soul too! Let him or her wrap you up in one, feed you foie-gras and serve you sips of a delicious red wine. How many more guesses does one have before the house comes crashing down upon them? Please tell them because he or she can’t bear another headache!
Here they are standing on the edge of a cliff looking down into the rough waters below. One could easily walk away but the sun is about to rise so he or she might as well stick around to watch and absorb its magic.
It’s quite nice to be able to see you here with all your friends and that other person too. He or she is sure you don’t think much of it but to that person it’s very flattering and quite an honour. Have you been way too hopeful lately? Should they quit now or should he or she keep going? They could either pack it all in right now or keep creating as if everyone’s paying attention (even though no one really is). Sounds like a good plan! The only way to go! No need to worry, friend. Let’s all sit back for a minute and count our chickens and eggs, he or she is sure we’ll come to a peaceful agreement then shake on it and maybe even share a drink to celebrate! Stop pulling at his or her socks please, they hear you loud and clear! No need to bother and annoy them, no need at all.
Are we laughing yet? Have you ever read such a thing before in your entire life? One can see the ugliness and feel the sleaze. It creeps up the walls of one’s soul like a spider, a slug or a silverfish. Something truly disgusting and unsettling such as an earwig. The entire environment needs to be altered and acclimated before the pesky parasites truly accept the reality, which is that they are no longer welcome. That’s how powerful the revolution will be. “I believe in you. You believe in me. Who believes in us?” Don’t forget to write! One doesn’t mean to string you along, not for too long anyway!
Jumping from one raft to another trying not to drown in this pond with an unknown depth. There are hopes of escaping this swamp but the chances of success are slim since the currents don’t move much at all and these rafts are rickety anyway. It’s nice of you to try to console him or her but they think your time and theirs has passed. They’ll keep juggling whatever comes their way because one hasn’t closed his or her doors or put up a sign. He or she is still renting the space but they only check their messages once a year! Thank you very much. It’s important to maintain form, don’t forget that.
One appreciates the heads-up but he or she doesn’t think they’ll take you up on your offer. Even though what you have is quite common and some may even consider it harmless or an acceptable risk, it is regardless not a risk one wishes to take. He or she wonders whether this will end our friendship or not. It may be a good test of it (which they aren’t entirely opposed to).
They have given you a chance and they have been patient. The thing is it doesn’t seem like his or her presence or effort has been appreciated. Therefore it is with a heavy heart yet a strong resolve that one will end this relationship effective immediately. It’s very important to him or her that they stick to their principles on a matter such as this. You had to be reminded every step of the way. This is no way to treat a loyal customer of several years. Thankfully there is still the freedom of choice in this world so before that becomes extinct they will make sure to use it to the fullest extent imaginable! He or she will exercise it in the interest of keeping it alive if for nothing else. They also think that you should take a look into your personal matters more astutely because they don’t want to be your headshrinker anymore!
Chapter 17
Thanks for the well wishes, the gifts and the cake. You can be sure they wont soon forget such a valiant and honourable display of gratitude. In between fits of rage and incessant interruptions they’re here trying to keep things going, steady riding baby. With each breath one takes it helps bear the burden. It’s nice to be able to share stories while trekking down the road. Now that they’ve cleared their heads things can get back to normal! Let him or her hurry up and rush this job to completion because it’ll make them happy and keep them out of trouble! “What is he talking about?” Nobody knows! Could anyone say anything with absolute certainty?
He or she woke up with a big crick in their neck this morning. It took a few hours and a couple of good meals to warm his or her blood and help them feel better. One doesn’t think they could let this go, it’s way too intense. Sometimes you confuse them and they feel like idiots. You don’t come to one’s rescue either, even after a while when it could really be useful and appreciated! One thinks they’d rather be pulled in all directions than be ignored, left alone and alienated. Thanks for the effort but you’re wasting your time. Whenever they’re on the edge of a cliff with one step away from death he or she gets very emotional and knows full well they’ll miss what’s left behind.
Thanks for paying attention all those times throughout all those years. He or she is sorry for being so oblivious and dense, they just didn’t get it. You’ve been very accommodating. Time and time again so many of them have been rough on you, poor baby! Laughing is the best way to break the ice. Abstract pages might turn some people off but who needs characters or a plot when you’ve got spicy words and meaty punctuation? Don’t let one bore you because they really don’t want to waste your time. Anything could be considered tedious if you have no patience. Be patient! Before you walk out on him or her please give them another chance.
One appreciates you but do you appreciate them? It’s a two-way street “y’know”! No traffic jams, just gravy or should one say clear sailing? Blue skies? These metaphors don’t apply to roads it seems. Too bad because you’ll have to settle for them but at least he or she thinks they’re nice! Let’s, let’s, let’s. Let us not worry or fear. What is there to fear? Why is one pleading with you about this all over again? Why don’t we fear and run in panic? Yeah let’s! Why don’t we? Might as well since there’s nothing better to do today anyway. They’re a little tired of seeing your smile as well, take it and turn it upside down! Save him or her the rhetoric. How about you save him or her the cheery disposition you’re so eager to contaminate them with? One doesn’t want to be around a contagion such as that.
Here’s to the menaces! Celebrate the worst of the worst if only for the sake of variety, the good get too much praise in this world. Wait, let he or she think about that one a little while longer and get back to you. Thanks for the well wishes again but one doesn’t need them nor do they even want them, they’ll get there on their own just fine if you don’t mind! You keep knocking him or her down with your holier-than-thou guidelines but they refuse to be shackled by your labels.
How on earth is one going to get this published? Who will read such a thing? Is it telling much if one can’t even classify it? If one weren’t able to
even do that then would it be impossible for he or she to send it anywhere or discuss it with anyone? Thank you for your attention, they wonder if you’re the only person on this planet who will uncover the secrets here. They would include the universe in this wonderment but he or she doubts that aliens speak English, do you?
If one went and put in an order for a brand new car and dropped the pink slip right on your lap and said, “I thought you wanted the car so I got it for you, now pay me back!” would you consider that to be fair at all? You asked him or her a question and they gave you a pretty simple answer, “No thanks, I don’t like it. I’m not interested.” Apparently that wasn’t a good enough reply for you! It seems like nobody is allowed to simply not want to do something. Now you listen here because one doesn’t need to have a reason not to do something or not to like something. Is that all right then? It’s as simple as that really, are we obliged to convince you?
Another thing is if you ask one what they think or what he or she wants and they tell you but then accuse them of being selfish then you probably should have asked him or her a different question! One greatly dislikes having the tables turned on them without even an ounce of it being warranted.
Breathe and let things organize themselves and fall into place. A little patience will go a long way. They’ve decided to let things happen the way they may. Even if they’re feeling in the mood for something but one doesn’t know quite what exactly, it won’t matter because they’ll take a breath and stick to his or her guns (whatever they may be on that particular night) and leave the rest of it up to chance or fate! Once one reaches the top of the mountain they’ll climb right back down because of course one can’t live at the top of a mountain! Now once he or she returns to base camp they’ll replenish their reserves and maybe eat a hot meal before getting some quality sleep then following that they’ll turn to face the next summit and begin the climb all over again! That’s the way it’s got to be, whether there’s someone waiting for him or her with a helping hand or not they’ve got to keep on moving.
The Invisible Papers Page 7