by Jenny Hale
“Let’s say grace, please,” her mother said.
To be honest, Faith hadn’t planned on saying grace. She hadn’t done it since she was a child. Nan grabbed her hand, and she realized that the others at the table were taking hands as well. They always had, and it had never bothered her before. But then, she’d never had to sit next to Jake Buchanan before. She looked to her right, and Jake was waiting, palm up. Would her hands be too hot? Sweaty? Twitchy? She reached over and placed her hand in his. His fingers swallowed her hand, but they were gentle, still—a perfect fit. Any jitters she had before, were calmed instantly when she put her hand in his. It was as if his composure had slid right along his arm into her.
Faith didn’t focus on the prayer—she barely heard a word of it. She was consumed with the feeling of Jake’s hand in hers. She tried to remember if she’d held hands with anyone she’d dated before. Surely, she had, but she couldn’t remember the feeling. Something as simple as holding someone’s hand was so inconsequential, yet this time, it had made an impression on her. Just like his smile, his grip on her hand was warm, sweet, comfortable. She almost forgot to let go. When she looked up, everyone else had dropped hands. She quickly released Jake’s hand and looked down at her egg and sausage casserole. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that he’d turned to look at her, but then he looked away.
“So, Jake,” Casey said. Faith was glad for the chance to sit back and allow her sister to do all the talking. “Do you enjoy the beach as much as the tourists, or do you get tired of it?”
Jake nodded, finishing his bite of food. “Oh, I still enjoy it,” he answered once he’d swallowed. He took a sip of juice before he continued. “I could never get tired of the beach.” He flashed his smile at Casey, and Faith wondered if she, too, found him attractive.
“We haven’t been here since we were kids. What would you suggest for fun in the area?” Casey asked. She wasn’t doing anything outwardly flirty, but Faith wondered by her smile, the way she tilted her head, the curiosity in her eyes, if she wanted to find a reason to talk to him just like Faith did. Needing to switch her focus to something else, Faith let her gaze roam to Isabella who was sitting quietly, picking at her food with her fork.
Isabella looked so much like Casey, yet she seemed nothing like her so far. When they’d sat at the dinner table together as kids, Casey would talk incessantly, her thoughts going in so many directions that Faith would wait silently until dinner was over and Casey had run off to her room, then she would curl up with her mother on the sofa and tell her about her day. Isabella seemed quiet like that. The trouble was, Faith knew that being quiet didn’t mean she had nothing to say—the exact opposite usually because it was the quiet ones who noticed everything around them and were always waiting for the right time to get it all off their chests. And Isabella looked like she had a lot weighing on her little mind. Faith’s thoughts were interrupted by Jake speaking.
“I don’t know if you’d be up for it, but I’m going sailing with a buddy of mine today. The boat has plenty of room. You’re welcome to join us. It’s the least I can do since you invited me to breakfast.”
“You all had better say yes,” Nan piped up. “I’d be the first one on that boat if I could get around enough.”
Faith looked over at Nan. She didn’t want to leave her grandmother all alone while they were out having the time of their lives on a sailboat. That didn’t seem like the right thing to do at all. It was Nan’s birthday celebration—she’d planned this trip. Perhaps she could help Nan onto the beach or at least sit with her on the porch.
“If you really want to know, it would be quite nice to have some peace and quiet around here for a few hours. Think of it as an early birthday gift,” Nan said as if she’d already anticipated what Faith was going to say.
Nan was trying to let them all off the hook. It was very much like her to look out for them and put everyone else first. Growing up, Nan had planned all the beach trips, and she’d said that the reason she’d planned them was because family meant more to her than anything else, and she wanted her family to be close. The bigger picture was becoming clear: Nan had planned this trip not for her but for them, Faith and Casey, to bring them back together again. She was nearly sure of it. And now, they had the chance to go sailing together.
“It sounds like fun,” Faith said, breaking the silence.
“Can I go?” Isabella said. Faith couldn’t help but smile. Yep, she thought. She’s just like me. She was waiting for the talking to subside, waiting for quiet when she could finally speak. Whatever Isabella may be feeling about her parents’ split could be eating her up inside, and Faith would be the perfect person to help her handle it—she knew what it felt like to bottle up her sadness, to wait for someone with whom she could share her feelings, only to have no one there to listen.
“Absolutely,” Jake said. Then he turned his attention to the others at the table. “Everyone should go. Please come. I think you’ll enjoy it. We’re leaving at two.” He looked at Faith. “I’d love you to come.”
How could she say no? Nan was practically forcing them to go, and, as she looked around the table, Casey and her mom had expectant expressions on their faces, as if they were waiting on pins and needles for her answer. But what struck her most was little Isabella. She was on her knees now, her hands on her thighs, chewing on her bottom lip, her golden hair cascading over her shoulders and down her back. She, too, was waiting for an answer, and it was clear, she wanted to go. She’d enjoy being there to see Isabella’s reaction to sailing.
“I’d love to,” Faith said. “What do you all think?”
The table buzzed with excited approval as everyone expressed their opinions about going.
“Fantastic! Why don’t you all meet me at the marina at one thirty?” Then, he looked directly at Faith again and said, “I’m excited.”
The flutter came back. It surprised her again. She didn’t know if she could get used to that feeling, and she didn’t have a clue what she was going to do about it. Faith took a sip of her juice and tried to shake the feeling of excitement that thought held.
When they’d finished eating and Jake got up to leave, they were searching for a piece of paper so he could write directions to the marina for them. “I’ll see if Isabella has a notebook or something in her room,” Casey said, but Jake stopped her.
“I have a pad of paper and a pen in the truck. Faith, why don’t you come out with me and I’ll write down the directions?”
Faith followed him outside. She watched his strides as he made his way to the truck, how his strong arms swung by his sides, the way his shoulders filled out his T-shirt. He opened the door and pulled a small pad of paper from the glove box and a pen from the center console. The morning wind was still cool, yet the sun’s heat was already pounding every surface. Faith shielded her eyes from its relentless rays as Jake leaned on the truck. He shifted to block the sun for her with his body.
“It’s nice out. The sea is calm today,” she said, looking over his shoulder at the lapping waves behind him. The angry, rolling waves were small, gurgling ripples today. “It’s a pretty view.”
“Yes it is.”
She made eye contact, wondering how he could possibly see behind him, and realized he was looking directly at her. Was he flirting with her? She smiled at the thought of it, and he seemed to notice. “Don’t you have directions to write,” she said with mock seriousness.
“Yes. Directions.” He set the pad of paper on the hood of the truck. “You know how you came in on the bypass? You’re going to get back on…” he began to write, scribbling directions as he spoke, but she wasn’t listening to the words. She was noticing the calm way his fingers moved as he held the pages of the pad down when they rippled in the wind, the way his lips pursed just slightly when he wrote, the movement of his features as he spoke. She hadn’t even realized he’d finished until he ripped the piece of paper from the pad and held it out to her.
As she went to take
it, a gust of wind sent it sailing into the air. She pawed for it, but it floated away from her. She chased it toward the dune, Jake following behind her. It landed in the tall grass at the sand’s edge, and she jumped forward to trap it, but as she did, she tripped on a piece of driftwood and fell in the soft sand.
“You okay?” Jake said, arriving at her side in less than a second. He squatted down beside her, but she was already standing up.
“I’m fine, thank you.” She felt embarrassed as she brushed the grainy sand from her leg with her free hand. “Got it,” she said, holding up the paper. He grinned at her before reaching up and gently wiping sand off her cheek. With one finger, he tucked her hair behind her ear to keep it from blowing in her face. It was a very personal gesture, but she didn’t mind at all.
“I could’ve written it again for you,” he said. “You didn’t have to go diving into the brush to save it.”
“I have strong views about littering,” she teased.
His laugh came out in little huffs, his eyes on her as if he wanted to say so much more than what was actually being said. She knew she’d see him soon, but she didn’t want him to leave. She wanted to talk more with him, spend time with him, just the two of them. “You sure you’re okay?” he asked, letting his gaze slide up and down her legs.
“I’m perfectly fine,” she said, dipping her head to catch his line of sight and bring it back up to her face.
“Okay,” he grinned at her again. “I’ll see you in a bit then.”
“See you soon.” She walked to the long staircase leading to the cottage door and stood on the bottom step as he got in his truck and started the engine. He gave her one last wave before pulling out of the drive. She slipped the directions into her pocket and walked up the stairs, her cheek tingling from Jake’s gentle touch.
FIVE
Casey had taken Isabella to Jockey’s Ridge, one of the tallest natural groups of sand dunes on the entire east coast, to climb the mountainous dunes. They’d seemed like a desert of endless sand as Faith had hiked them as a kid. Casey bought Isabella a kite like their mom had done for them when they were little, and Faith was so glad to see Casey carrying on the tradition. Faith had stayed behind in the cottage, and when it occurred to Jake that Isabella might not have a life vest for the boat, it had been Faith who had answered the call from Jake. Now, she found herself shopping for a child-sized life vest with him. She’d insisted on meeting him at the shop, not wanting him to make yet another drive out to the cottage. He was nice enough to take them sailing; the least she could do was meet him in town. And she wanted to spend more time with him.
“I haven’t ever taken a child sailing before,” he said, his head swiveling from one side of the racks to the other.
Faith stopped to thumb through a few life vests before moving on. The far wall of the store was clad from floor to ceiling with brightly colored surfboards, their patterns and glossy surfaces like artwork. She had to force her eyes from their beautiful designs to keep looking for Isabella’s vest. These little shops were quite common along the beach, and she loved going in them. Each one was unique, displaying its wares in its own quirky way. They were small spaces, jammed with all the latest in beachwear, a friendly cashier wearing flip-flops and shorts, with sunglasses on his head, there to help and answer any questions. Her mom had always allowed them to buy a T-shirt as a souvenir when they visited as kids, and there were so many different ones to choose from that it had always taken Faith all week to decide on one. These shops were perfect examples of life here.
As she’d driven in to town, Faith had tried not to notice the enormous monstrosities that were now lording over the bypass, big superstores, selling their beach paraphernalia at low prices, and screaming out at her with their bright signs promising her they could meet all her beach needs. There was nothing wrong with those stores in particular; she just didn’t want them here. The Outer Banks had always been a place of solitude for her, rich in culture, it’s small-town beach vibe unique to any other place she’d ever been. As she looked around the shop now, she prayed that those big chain stores wouldn’t put stores like this one out of business. She smiled as she caught a glimpse of the locally made jewelry showcased under glass at the checkout counter. Those big stores claimed to have her every need, but she was willing to bet they didn’t have what this shop had: charm, personality, warmth. She was so glad that Jake had chosen this place to get Isabella’s life vest. She was happy to support the local shops.
“Thank you for helping me out,” he said, turning toward her.
“You’re welcome.”
“I’m glad you’re coming sailing today.”
“Thank you for inviting my family.”
“Well, I already know you well enough to guess that you wouldn’t have gone and left them at the cottage. You’d have felt bad about it.” He raised his eyebrows as if to say, I’m right, aren’t I?
He’d only invited them all because he wanted her to go? She smiled. And he was right. “How did you do that?”
“What?”
“How did you know what I was thinking?”
He smiled. “I can see it on your face. Sometimes, it’s a quick crease between your eyebrows or movement of your eyes as you’re thinking. You give yourself away.”
Her ex, Patrick, had never guessed what she was thinking, and they’d been together for two years. The only other person who seemed to be able to do that was Nan. She’d never met anyone else with the ability to see her so clearly, until now. “I think you’re just good at reading people. What am I saying right now?” She looked at him and allowed her bubbling feelings to surface. I like you so much already, she thought.
He tipped his head back and laughed then shook his head, amusement on his face.
“What was I thinking?” she pressed, remembering how this little exchange had begun.
He was still smiling, his grin reaching his eyes. “I’m not telling.”
“Why? It’s my thought. You can tell me.”
“I’d rather hear you say it.”
Her face burned with the idea that he had actually read her mind. Had he guessed how she felt about him? She could feel the heat still in her face as she looked up at him.
That amusement twisted into affection in his eyes. She could almost swear it. She looked at the rack of vests to steady herself. These feelings were happening too fast, and she wanted to slow them down.
Jake followed her lead and held up a tiny pink vest, the buckles swinging free on either side of it. Faith reached over to inspect the size on the tag. It was an extra-small. “I wonder if she’s a small,” she said, her heart still beating like a snare drum. Jake hung it back on the rack and pushed a few more out of the way before pulling another one out. This one was purple.
“They all look so little to me,” he said with a grin. “I can’t tell one size from another.”
He’d let her off the hook. She was trying to focus, but her head was still swimming. Faith studied the purple vest, squinting her eyes to imagine Isabella wearing it.
Jake seemed to notice her deliberation and took the pink vest back off the rack, holding the two side by side. “I love kids,” he admitted, looking down at the vests. “I really enjoy them, and I so rarely get the opportunity to be with them given my line of work.”
“What do you like about them?” she asked, genuinely curious. Faith obviously loved kids; she was a kindergarten teacher. She loved their honesty, watching them as they made their way through the world while learning the social etiquette that they’d need as adults. She enjoyed their silliness and their absolute freedom when they were given time to explore. Nothing was off-limits. They hadn’t learned enough about the world yet to be wary of things.
“I love their innocence,” he said. “I’ve tried to remember exact moments growing up when life revealed things to hamper that innocence. Sometimes I can remember, and sometimes I can’t. I often wish I could see my own child grow so I could learn when it all happens. When do
es the world finally get a hold of that innocence?”
“Oh, I don’t think it happens all at once,” she said, tapping the purple vest. Jake slid the pink one back on the rack and handed her the purple one. “It’s a slow process. I’d like to watch my own kids too one day.” As she said that statement, fear swept through her as she worried that she’d waited too long. She’d spent so much time working that she hadn’t put enough effort into her personal life, and now, just entering the dating scene, she may never have that family she wanted.
She walked up to the counter first to get out of the conversation. Faith pulled out her wallet, and Jake, now standing beside her, put his hand on her arm. “I’ve got it,” he said, his wallet already in his other hand. He pulled out the cash before she could stop him, but he seemed to notice her protest. “I’m not going to ask your family to take a boat ride and then make you pay for it in any way. That would be ridiculous.”
“But Isabella could use that vest other times as well. It would be like an investment,” she said, quietly worrying that Isabella may not visit this beach again with her family. She didn’t want to think about that. Maybe she’d be wrong. She hoped she was.
Jake turned back to Faith and smiled, shaking her from her thoughts. “It’s my treat.” They walked to the door, the sun streaming in through the mass of surfing stickers peppering its glass surface. He opened the door and allowed Faith to exit first. “I’ll have it waiting on the boat for her.”
The marina was full of the most gorgeous vessels Faith had ever seen. It looked like something from a movie: rows of shiny white boats, their masts gleaming in the sunlight, the lapping of the blue water around them. She walked along the docks, following her mother and Casey. Isabella held Casey’s hand and was trying not to step on any of the cracks, her little feet hopping along as Casey tried to hold onto her. Faith paced up beside her.