“That money is for your college education,” his father said.
“Oh, really? So you were just talking about depriving me of my own money? Is that it? Interesting rules you have, Pops.”
“What little money you’ve won got pumped right back into all the expenses that went with competing. The costs of your training and transportation to all of the meets, the housing required for out-of-town competitions.”
“So what you’re telling me is that there is no money? That you’ve spent it all? I’d like to see an accounting of how my funds were used, please. You’ve always told me that a good businessman keeps records and knows precisely how he’s doing financially. So I’m sure you’ve kept such records of how you’ve spent my money, so let’s take a look. Get it out and let’s go through them right now.”
“Your expenses far exceeded your paltry earnings,” his father tried.
“What expenses would that be? Would it be the cost of me riding on the team bus? Seems to me like the school provides that for free. But, regardless, I’m sure you’ve got the records, so let’s you and I sit down and go through them so you can show me what my money went for.” Brandon pushed things aside on the counter in front of him, making a clear, open space for them to look at something together.
“You are so far over the line, Brandon, I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
“Why? Am I acting too much like you? Do you remember the day you saw me using a cell phone? Do you remember what you asked me that day? You asked me if I stole it, or stole the money from you to buy it. So, let me turn your question around and ask you the same thing, this time about my money. Did you steal my money? Is that what paid for your trips to Florida and California? All of those golf outings? I’m sure the accounting will sort it all out, so get the records and we’ll go through them right now.”
“I cannot believe the level of disrespect you’re showing to me right now, the ungrateful attitude after all I’ve done for you—”
“No, you always told me that in business there is no place for compassion, no place for feelings. The only thing that matters is the bottom line ending in the black. So I think you mean all I’ve done for you.
“We both know the truth that when you sold your business you didn’t have a fucking clue what to do with yourself, and I happened to come into your field of view. You adopted me and my swimming as your new hobby only because I happened to be where you were looking then. You never asked me if I wanted any of this. You did what you needed to do for yourself, just like everything you’ve always done, and don’t stand there and try to tell me otherwise because you and I both know the truth.”
“Get out,” his father said suddenly.
Brandon was at his breaking point. While on the outside he might have appeared calm, on the inside he was a writhing mess of anger with a good dollop of fear stirred in for good measure. He took several quick steps toward his father, hunching his shoulders and balling his hands into fists. He was fully prepared to deck him and send him flying across the room.
At the last possible moment, surprising even himself, Brandon somehow managed to get his anger in check and stop from hauling off and slugging his father in the face. But by the time he pulled off that near Herculean feat, he was standing just a few inches from him. Instead of hitting with his fists, Brandon used words instead.
“Do you even believe half the stuff you say?” Brandon asked.
“Brandon, you are way over the line. If you were one of my employees, I’d fire you for that.”
“I’m not one of your employees, Dad, but that’s how you’ve always treated me, like you would a worker in your business. The only difference is that at least they would get paid, compensated for putting up with you and your bullshit. But you don’t have employees anymore.”
“Brandon, I’m going to tell you once again, back the fuck off and remember who you’re talking to.”
“I know who I’m talking to. I can see him better now than I’ve ever allowed myself to see him before. And what I see is a complete fraud. And I’m done with it. You can go fuck yourself,” Brandon said.
Brandon retreated to his room, not just to get away from his father, but to pack his most important possessions in a couple of roller suitcases. He moved quickly, pausing only a moment to take one last look around to be sure he wasn’t missing anything obvious before leaving his room and carrying his two suitcases down the stairs.
“Brandon, I told you before, if you go out that door—”
“What? You’ll steal all my money again?”
Rather than wait for his father to answer, Brandon moved his suitcases outside and started walking. He could hear his father yelling at him, but he tuned out the words. As he did in training, he just ignored as much as possible and tried to treat it as a lot of background noise. Finally, even the noise diminished once he was far enough away from the house.
It was only when he was at the end of the driveway, where it met the street that Brandon stopped and pulled out his cell phone. He knew Joel and his family were leaving in a few hours for Europe, his parents’ graduation present to him, so he couldn’t call him. That left one option. Speed dialing his first number, he waited for an answer.
“Help,” he said when the call was answered.
“What’s wrong? Where are you?” Tyler asked.
“I’m at the end of the driveway to my father’s house. I’m the guy hauling two big suitcases. Could you—”
“I’m on my way.”
Tyler made remarkable time in getting to Brandon. Brandon was so grateful to see him, he didn’t ask how fast he’d driven to get there. He was so happy when Tyler skidded to a stop and jumped out to grapple him in a big hug.
Chapter 15—All Good Things Must Come to an End
AFTER THROWING Brandon’s suitcases into the trunk, they both got into the car and Brandon practically begged, “Drive, please, get me away from here now.” Brandon had kept himself remarkably together, but his control was slipping fast, and he wanted to get as far away as possible before it happened.
Tyler didn’t question him but instead drove as quickly as he safely could to get them a few miles down the road to a safe place where he could stop the car. Parked, Tyler reached over and wrapped his arms around Brandon and just held him for a moment. The simple act of hugging was all that Brandon needed to let go of the grief, the anxiety, the panic, the everything he’d been holding inside. It all came pouring out, and he cried, all the while Tyler holding him tight.
Brandon pulled himself together and said, “Please, let’s get out of here. I don’t want to ever come back here again. Um, can I stay with you? Are your parents going to freak?”
“No. It makes sense since we’re going to be working together all summer. That would save a whole hell of a lot of driving.”
“Thanks. I just need to get away from that man. I don’t… I don’t…. He hates me now. I’m sure of it with everything I just said to him.”
“It was quite animated?” Tyler asked, never taking his eyes off the road.
“Oh yeah, you could say that. I knew all the right buttons to push with him, and he knew how to push some of mine as well. I think I did better than him, but he didn’t like it when I accused him of stealing my competition winnings from the last few summers. He’s got tons of money. My winnings are trivial, but I know how much money means to him. I asked him for the money and he had one story after another about how there wasn’t any money. Every argument he made, I pushed right back. I knew I’d never get anything out of him, but I had the satisfaction of knowing that I made him sweat.
“And I really winged him when I spoke of the unspeakable family secret and pointed out that he was now two for two in the son department.”
“What does that mean?” Tyler asked.
“I have an older brother. He and my dad had a rough relationship, and it got really ugly. He was more ballsy than I am. I don’t know the whole story because he’s never told me. All I know is that o
ne day after a really brutal fight, my brother was gone and he never came back. And worst of all, I was never allowed to speak of him, to even utter his name, ever again. So we didn’t talk about him.
“It was so freaking bizarre. It was like living in some totalitarian regime where someone fell from privileged status and the authorities tried to erase every hint of his existence. No matter where you went, he was just gone. It was like that with my brother.”
“Do you know where he went?” Tyler asked.
“Not a clue. I miss him, even though it’s been a couple of years now.”
“After he went, is that when your father turned all of his attention to you and your swimming career.”
“No. Almost. That started when he sold his business. He apparently got a lot of money from selling his company, but the main problem was that it left him with nothing to do. He went from being a type-A workaholic to a man with absolutely no reason to get out of bed in the morning. He needed something, and I became the something.”
“Bummer,” Tyler observed.
Brandon had been to Tyler’s house once. He would have been there more often if he hadn’t had to live so totally under his father’s control. He had met Tyler’s parents in passing briefly that one time he visited. As they drove up to his house, Brandon panicked that Tyler’s parents wouldn’t want him there, that they would object and send him packing. Then what would he do? Where would he go?
“What’s wrong?”
“What if your parents don’t want me here? What do I do, then? Oh God! I’ve kind of burned my bridges with my dad. Fuck. What do I do? Joel’s away and I can’t call him. I don’t know anybody else.”
“Bran, don’t worry. Take a breath. We’ll be okay. Don’t worry. Let me take care of that.”
“Okay,” Brandon said as he tried to make his heart slow down to just a gallop.
“Come on, let’s get your bags inside and up to my room.”
Each hauling one bag, they got Brandon inside the house. Tyler’s parents weren’t home, so Tyler was able to grapple Brandon in a hug. With his bedroom door closed, he guided Brandon to the bed and held him until he relaxed a little.
“It’s going to be all right,” Tyler said. “Just relax. Don’t worry. You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”
And Brandon did start to relax—at least until he heard the front door open and close. Tyler’s parents were home.
“We should go down and tell them you’re here,” Tyler said.
“Okay,” Brandon said with a decided lack of enthusiasm.
“Don’t worry,” Tyler said again.
“You know your parents. I don’t,” Brandon said.
“Let’s go start to change that.”
With Tyler in the lead, the two guys went down the stairs and followed the voices coming from the kitchen.
“Mom, Dad, Brandon’s here. You remember meeting him?”
“Yes, of course,” Tyler’s mom said, smiling at him.
“Do you have a minute? We need to talk with you.”
“That sounds serious. Is everything okay?” Tyler’s father said. “Please, sit,” he said, gesturing to the chairs in the dining room.
With two sets of very expectant eyes looking at them, Tyler explained. “Do you remember how I described Brandon’s father?”
His parents looked at one another, as if to say, “How much knowledge do we admit in front of the guy?” His mother said, “Yes, I recall you mentioning something about the man.”
“Well,” Tyler said, “it got worse. In fact it got really bad. It got so bad that Brandon had to get away from there. Brandon and his father had a serious dispute, and he needed to get out of there for a while. He called me and I went and picked him up. I told him he could stay with us. I hope that’s okay, because he really needs some love and support and calm and stability right about now.”
Brandon couldn’t bring himself to look at Tyler’s parents until he started to speak. “I’m so sorry to disrupt your household, but I didn’t know where else to turn. If I’d stayed home, I don’t know what would have happened. My dad was seriously flipping out.”
“What happened? That is, if you don’t mind me asking,” Tyler’s mother said.
“Not a problem.” Brandon took a deep breath. “He doesn’t like it that I’m friends with Tyler.”
“Why?” Tyler’s father asked.
“He never has understood why I’m friends with someone from another swim team.”
“Okay,” Tyler’s dad said slowly, still not understanding.
“My dad gets really wrapped up in competition,” Brandon tried to explain. “To him, winning is to be had at all cost. And talking with an opponent is a major no-no. He was somehow worried that Tyler was going to pump me for team secrets or something stupid like that. He hated it that we got together and did stuff together, and he’s tried to interfere with that friendship at every step along the way. He did it again today by going after Tyler for being at my graduation ceremony. I called him on it and one thing led to another, which led to another and he sort of disowned me. He told me to get out. And I can’t say that I’m all that sorry,” Brandon explained. “Except that it left me with no place to go.”
“So I told him he could stay with us,” Tyler said. “I knew it would be okay with you,” he added.
“Of course,” his mother said. “We’d be delighted to have you with us for a few days.”
That phrase, “a few days,” sent up all kinds of red flags for Brandon. He looked at Tyler, who left the phrase unaddressed.
“Are there any things you do or don’t like to eat, Brandon?” Tyler’s mom asked. “I want to be sure not to fix something you can’t stand.”
“Um, well, I like most things. Probably if Tyler likes it, I’d like it too.”
“I was going to make burgers for dinner tonight. Would that be okay?”
“Absolutely,” Brandon agreed with a smile. “Is there anything I can do to help you?”
Tyler’s mom just sat and stared at him for a moment.
“I’m sorry,” Brandon said. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, not at all,” she said. “It’s just, I’ve never heard anyone ask that question in this house before.”
“Well, I mean it. If there’s anything you need help with, please let me know.”
“I’ve got it covered, but thank you,” she said with a smile.
“Come on,” Tyler said, gesturing for Brandon to follow him back upstairs.
“Dinner at six,” his mother shouted after them as they bounded up the stairs.
FOR HIS first few days in the household, Brandon could not have been happier. He was with Tyler and they were madly in love. They started their summer job working together at a roadside produce stand where Tyler had worked full-time the previous year. The work was hard but predictable. The heat of the summer built quickly as late June turned into early July, which made the work more draining, but Brandon threw himself into it with everything he had. It was in his nature, given his background, to try to please people. For years his father had settled for nothing less.
Brandon’s approach with Tyler’s parents was two-fold. First he tried to be as invisible as possible, leaving as small a footprint in their lives so he didn’t interfere with anything. And second he tried to find things around the house that needed to be done and that he could do.
In his second week in the household, Brandon went all out to try to be helpful to Tyler’s parents, offering to do anything they needed to have done. He offered to wash dishes, to take out the trash, and to do generally anything he could to help make Tyler’s parents like him and not mind putting up with him. He thought he was doing well—until his third week with them.
In the third week of his visit, just as Brandon was finally starting to let himself relax and feel that he was making a place for himself in Tyler’s family, it all seemed to fall apart one evening. One night at dinner, Tyler’s father delivered some unexpected news.
; “Brandon, we’ve had a death in the family. It’s quite sudden. We’re gonna have to make an unplanned trip out of town for a few days.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Brandon said, not knowing what else to say since he didn’t know the person or how close they had been.
“It’s been nice having you visit, but since we have to leave town, I’m going to have to ask you to make alternate living arrangements. I’m sure you understand. We’ve only known you for a few weeks. And besides, this might be the opportunity you need to go back and make peace with your father. I’m sure he misses you and is most likely anxious to have you back home again.”
Brandon was close to all-out panic. He looked to Tyler, desperately hoping to get a solution to this impossible situation. Everything had been going so well for him, and for the first time in a long, long time, he felt good. He had felt comfortable and happy. He and Tyler were together, and while they didn’t dare to do too much for fear of making noise, they had at least been able to cuddle together every night.
Even though he wasn’t sure he could remember how to breathe, somehow Brandon managed to ask, “What time are you leaving in the morning?”
“I’d like to be on the road by six in the morning at the latest.”
“Wow. That’s an early start.”
“Yes, and I know everyone is going to hate it, but we have a long drive ahead of us.”
Brandon cast furtive glances toward Tyler, hoping desperately to see some reassurance that Tyler had a plan, or better yet to hear Tyler speak up and countermand his father and argue that Brandon could stay in the house while they were away. But he didn’t, so Brandon just felt one step from panic and barely able to hold it inside.
He very politely ate his dinner and then offered to clean up the table and wash dishes so everyone could get packed.
Brandon couldn’t go home. There was just no way he was going back to his father. Joel and his family were the next logical choice, but they were still in Europe. Because his father had kept him so isolated, he just didn’t have friends. Until Tyler, that is. What the hell was he going to do now?
Swimming to Freedom Page 12