by S. K Munt
Kohén’s lips parted. ‘All of them?’
‘Every last one of them- tonight,’ I said, squeezing his hand. ‘Do that, and you’ll hear all of those truths and more.’
Kohén’s eyes flickered from mine, to the girls as he turned us, and then back to me. ‘If I…’ he was breathing heavy, excited. ‘If I do that. Next week on your sweet sixteenth… will you…’ he swallowed. ‘Will you… will you celebrate with me? Alone?’
My stomach hit my feet. ‘No,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘I mean yes but… but not as your Companion, Kohén- as your friend. I would stay, but not… not for that.’
Kohén cringed and I felt my heart twist at the promise of the agony it would soon have to wring out of itself. He looked away slightly, and shook his head even more slightly. ‘Then, no,’ he said quietly. ‘I can’t do that.’
My heart promptly broke into a million pieces- one for every hope he’d just shattered. I’d taught him how to amass a royal flush but eleven years later, I was still left with a pair of threes and nothing else of value.
28.
‘You won’t release them because you want them?’ I made myself ask as soon as I could breathe again.
‘No!’ Kohén looked back at me, and though his eyes were full of apology, the set of his jaw was fixed. ‘I mean, not yet… Because if you won’t let me come to your bed, I need them in theirs… just in case.’
We’d stopped swirling, but the world around us had not. ‘You’re giving me an ultimatum?’ I asked, aghast. ‘Be your whore, or let you keep other whores handy?’
Kohén glared at me. ‘I don’t want that to be the case but quite simply- yes.’
‘Don’t consider it or anything…’ I growled, furious.
‘I can’t, and it’s not because I’m heartless or because I don’t want the same things you do. It’s just that... You girls have been instructed to give me everything that I ask for, Larkin, but I have been trained to deny the things you are all likely to request.’ He stood taller. ‘And the first thing I was told to anticipate, was that one of you would ask me to send the others home. Under no circumstances am I to agree and even if I do, my father will overrule it.’
‘I’m not your Companion,’ I seethed. ‘I’m Larkin. I’m not trying to hoard gold under my mattress- quite the opposite! I want them to live free, not suffer financially!’
‘I know, and that’s why I want to agree, so badly,’ he said, his eyes urging me to believe him. ‘But even if I could convince my father that you were all I needed, and that you had feelings for me not ambitions- I couldn’t, in good conscience, send every one of them home knowing that you won’t fulfil their obligations in their place.’
My stomach rolled and I went to release his hand. Oh, how are our opinions differed to what constituted as a ‘good conscience’! ‘Not another word-’
‘Don’t,’ Kohén tightened his grip around me and hissed the word into my ear. ‘Don’t you dare walk away with your nose up in the air where you flout your morals, Whittaker. I know this all sounds smarmy but the simple truth is that I am a man and I have needs.’ I whipped my head back to face him so I could tell him where he could shove his knees but he leaned in, brushed his lips against mine again and whispered: ‘I know you’re going to say that plenty of men wait until they’re joined but don’t insult me with such a comparison. I wouldn’t have to wait until I was twenty-one if I released them all AND kept my hands off you so you’d be pure enough to qualify as my bride- I’d have to wait until I was THIRTY! That’s fourteen years from now!’ I dropped my head and bit my lip to keep it from trembling. I’d never considered that before, and though it did seem like a very long time to wait, we’d already passed eleven years together! ‘And other men may have cravings,’ he went on, ‘but I have actual voltage, sweetheart- enough to fry every single person in this room in a fit of rage and evidently, Karol was right- when I saw you in Kohl’s arms tonight, I could have very easily done to him what I did to that tree the last time you drove me out of my mind with desire! To my own twin!’ He forced my head up. ‘Can you imagine what I could accidentally do to you if you got me all excited and then turned me out of your room? I’d burn the castle to the ground, and you in it!’
‘You don’t know that…’ I protested, but my voice sounded weak to my own ears for the lack of conviction.
‘Not for sure,’ he agreed. ‘But it’s a risk. My father burned mother once you know- while she was carrying us! He was trying to abstain from using Resonah, but mother was too ill to accommodate him and…’ he shook his head. ‘He still kicks himself for it to this day and though Karol healed the marks on her face right away, she still carries scars on the inside, and you glimpsed them tonight.’
I winced. ‘Really?’
‘Third degree burns in the perfect shape of his hands on her ribs and breasts,’ Kohén admitted, looking grieved. ‘She could have lost us from the shock, and there’s a chance that Kohl’s lazy eye was the result of that one moment of desperation on my father’s part. He lost his mind over her- and I could do the same to you! So if you… if you want me…’ he stumbled over the words. ‘Then you either have to stay for the reason you were brought, be there to meet my needs and content yourself with staying on after when I’m forced to choose a more suitable woman to be Joined with or…’ he looked crushed, I could hand him that. ‘Or let me keep one of them around to… to take my passion out on so I don’t touch you. I mean, there’s a chance that I could go without utilising them but…’
Of all the romantic professions I’d ever heard, this was by far the least literary, and the most appalling. But what was worse than my horror, was my acceptance- and my resignation. I couldn’t give him what he wanted for the price was too high, and he couldn’t barter me out of that. He’d spun me without aim and now we were only metres away from the girls who would happily see me electrocuted to the point of no return. I slowed his movements by digging in my feet.
‘I wanted to kiss you, because I missed you, and I thought that we could fall in love and be more than our castes...’ I whispered, leaning up to wrap my arms around his neck, and I didn’t care who could see. I closed my eyes and let one tear slip out, before I opened them and met Emmerly’s accusatory eyes when I said: ‘But I don’t anymore.’
‘Because you can’t be happy with just me?’
‘Maybe I could be,’ I said sadly. ‘But there are no guarantees either way. We both are asking too much of one another and so, I think it’s best if we stick to the original plan, and stay as friends. Best friends.’
Kohén went rigid in my arms and his voice was choked when he whispered my name. ‘Larkin, please, I love-’
I pressed my finger to his lips to silence him. ‘I do have one thing to say though… to make it clear how much you mean to me without confessing all of what’s in my heart and making you feel obligated to keep me happy.’ I drew back from him and then passed his hand out to Emmerly, who would never know happiness unless it was delivered to her by the boy I loved as currency. ‘Happy Birthday,’ I said more clearly and I burned on the inside. ‘To both of you. Emmerly, I believe this next dance is yours.’
Kohén was white, but Emmerly’s expression turned from furious, to pleasantly surprised and like the trained pet she was, immediately slid her eyes to Kohén’s and batted her lashes sweetly.
‘Thank you Larkin,’ she purred, not looking at me. ‘Your highness… you look amazing. So grown up!’
‘As do you- all of you…’ Kohén included the others in his unconvincing smile but then turned back to me. ‘Heartbreakingly so.’
I smiled weakly, and my nose tingled as the tears built up pressure behind it. ‘And speaking of being all grown up… I’ve been waiting for this day for years- Kelia, would you like to come with me so we can try wine at last?’
Kelia stared at me like I was talking in another language, and the fact that my bright charade was doing nothing to disguise the tears in my eyes, Kohén’s ashen complexion, or
cover the fact that he and I had just had a very intimate exchange on the dance floor in full view of everyone, became clear.
‘You want to drink champagne?!’ she squeaked. ‘I thought you were SICK.’
‘I thought you were going to stay upstairs all night!’ Lette agreed, looking pissed.
‘I thought you were going to be wearing those shoes…’ Elfin said, pointing to Emmerly’s feet, who blushed. ‘What’s going on?’
I fidgeted with my hair, and was about to plead flu-related delusions, when another warm hand grabbed mine.
‘Little Lark!’ Karol spun me to face him and had me in a dance hold before I could catch a breath. ‘Just the girl I’ve been looking for! May I have this dance?’
‘Um…’
‘You can’t say no,’ he teased, squeezing my hand gently. ‘Or use the: ‘I don’t dance,’ excuse again, because I just saw you moving fairly artfully.’
I glared at him. ‘Try me.’
Karol threw back his head and laughed and then winked at Kohén over my shoulder. ‘I’d ask if she was always this difficult, but I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know her better over the last few months so that question is redundant, even to me.’
‘Is that so?’ Kohén asked, looking sceptical. ‘Taken up soccer and gardening, have you?’
‘Not exactly. But we did enjoy a swim together, didn’t we Larkin?’ The prince grinned at me and I would have slapped him if he hadn’t been holding my hand so tight. ‘We really must do that again soon. I do so enjoy our little talks.’
‘I can’t,’ I bumbled, feeling dizzy again. ‘I’m busy.’
Karol raised an eyebrow. ‘For the next five years?’
‘Yes,’ I said shortly. ‘For the next five years.’
‘Naw don’t be like that… I promise to wear something next time so you don’t go all red again.’
‘Excuse me?’ Kohén snapped, dropping Emmerly’s hand. Lette giggled and covered her mouth, and Kelia went as white as Kohén. Kohén stared at me accusingly. ‘You swam with him while he was naked? Do you have any idea how inappropriate that is?’
‘Oh it was an accident,’ I retorted, annoyed that Kohén was allowing Karol to bait him so when any idiot could see that that was all Karol was doing. ‘I didn’t even know he was in there, let alone naked- and the inappropriate part wasn’t exactly threatening or that visible, if you get what I mean-’
‘Okay!’ Karol expelled, but he did so with a laugh as he swept me away. ‘Time to make a new memory together! Thanks for loaning her out, little brother!’ He swirled me again and then shook his head at me, still chuckling. ‘That’s two.’
‘What’s two?’
Karol jiggled his eyebrows. ‘Two times I’m going to make you scream out: ‘Oh your highness! It’s so big- it couldn’t possibly fit!’
I should have been scandalized but I didn’t have the energy. ‘I assume you’re referring to your ego getting through the door to the north wing, yes? Because if it pleases his highness, I’ll cry that out right now.’
Karol made his dark brows dance for me over sparkling eyes. ‘There’s a reason why my ego is so inflated, little Lark.’
‘Because your mother spoils you like piggy-tailed child?’
‘No…’ he winked. ‘But put your hair up for me in piggy tails one day, and I’ll hold onto them tightly while I prove that I’ve earned my ego.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘I’d ask why there are no telling scars on your knuckles from the way you drag them along the ground as you swagger about…’ I said, before making a show of inspecting his smooth hand, which was clasping mine. ‘But you’re a healer, so I guess that’s a redundant question too.’
‘I am good with my hands…’ Karol swiftly turned me under his arm and when he caught me again, spanned his fingers across my shoulder blades. I felt a rush of heat, followed by a tingle that rippled across my skin, followed by an innate sense of calm. ‘Feel better?’ he asked, sliding his hand back down to my waist too slowly as he grinned knowingly. ‘I heard you were ill earlier, but I assume that’s gone now?’
‘I thought it was,’ I conceded. ‘But then for some strange reason, the urge to vomit hit me when you took me in your arms, and it’s getting worse.’ I took his hand off my back and stepped back. ‘So I better stop spinning about, just in case it gets the better of me and your tuxedo.’
Karol bit his lip and shook his head as though defeated, so I smiled and turned away, but the moment my back was to him, he wrapped his arms around my waist, caught my hand and spun me out at arm’s length then back in to press me against his chest from behind so fast that the world around us became a kaleidoscope of colours.
‘That’s three times,’ he whispered into my ear. ‘And if you make it a fourth in the next few seconds and embarrass me by walking away again in front of most of the nobility in Calliel, I’ll be rescinding my offer to help your dreams come true after I’ve fucked you, little bird, and I’ll keep you in the harem instead- so don’t push my good humour.’
I scowled, but allowed him to sway me side to side. ‘I don’t want your help, and I never did.’
‘I thought you were going to trust me?’
‘I do. I have complete faith that once you’re done with me, you’ll honour your word and help get me to Yael… but I don’t want it that way, and considering that I just turned down an almost identical offer from Kohén- who I do care about- to buy my dreams with my body, the chances of me selling out to you instead are smaller than your threat is.’ I turned my face to his. ‘So go on and report me to Maryah or have me banished, because you’re legally entitled to do so in the face of my heinous behaviour right now….’ I reached up and stroked his smooth jaw. ‘But I’ll never be your whore. Only Kohén can force me to do that, and he just proved that he won’t, by letting me go.’
Karol sighed and spun me out again, and then pulled me back into his arms so that we were face to face. ‘Why do you insist on using the word whore instead of lover or Companion? We use those labels to prove that you girls are not to be treated poorly or looked down on!’
‘Because you threatened to fuck me,’ I said, a little surprised that he hadn’t marched me straight to a guard to have me escorted to the gates. ‘If you wanted to be seen as a lover, you’d pick a more genteel word, and if you didn’t want to see us treated poorly then try taking one of your lovers out for dinner instead of giving her three square meals a day at the expense of her future.’
Karol rolled his eyes. ‘If you truly believe that lovers don’t fuck, I’m going to have to get Maryah run out of Eden on a rail for not educating you girls right.’
‘Now you have my full support,’ I said. ‘I can probably dig up the name of a few professors or Black-Belts in martial arts who would teach us what we truly need to know.’
Karol sighed again, searching my eyes. ‘So… I was right, wasn’t I? That brother of mine saw that he’d made a lacklustre deal with his blonde devil, didn’t he? And tried to change things to suit his new needs?’
‘You’re not supposed to say the word Devil,’ I pointed out. ‘You could summon her here to ruin the party, and I haven’t had any wine or cake yet.’
‘Oh, the dark temptress is here…’ he leaned forward to whisper into my ear. ‘Disguised as a beautiful swan. And I must say Larkin, you look radiant tonight, so you can’t blame us all for losing our damned minds at the sight of you.’
‘Oh shut up,’ I said, agitated beyond measure. ‘I’m no more of a temptress than you are charming. You’re just a deviant who gets off on innocence and vulnerability- and I know all about that from my education! In fact, there’s a whole section in those damned guidelines about piggy tails and the creeps who seek them.’
‘Innocence?’ Karol demanded, looking amused. ‘Darling you have gone to great pains to look like a woman and have successfully garnered the attention of every MAN in the room.’
My heart crusted over like a wound as he hit me right where it hurt. ‘The dres
s was sewn for me and I wore it so that I could see your brother, not to tempt anybody! Do you see my hair up and encrusted with jewels? No, hell, I only got to brush half of it! Is my face painted? No! Am I wearing jewels? No! For the love of God, I have my actual ballet slippers on because some nit-wit stole my shoes and so help me, I would have come down here in my running shoes if I’d thought that I’d be let in in them!’ I pulled back so that he could see the pure hostility in my eyes. ‘So don’t flatter yourself into thinking you have me all figured out, your highness, because the only way I want to see you lose your mind is via a case of syphilis!’
Karol spun me again, this time so that we were facing one of the mirrored wall panels and lifted my jaw to force me to meet my own reflection. ‘See that woman there?’ He hissed, and my abdomen buckled back against my spine when I saw myself a dozen times over. ‘That’s not a sweet little duckling, but a swan and if you think that I’m the only man in the room who wants to pluck every feather from this gown to get to what’s beneath then you are incredibly stupid.’
I looked at myself, horrified to realise that Karol had made an excellent point- the dress was too striking as I’d feared, and leaving my hair out and face bare had done nothing to dilute the effect of it. In fact, I stood out more for I was the only girl in the room whose hair was out, and the way it was rippling softly to my hips from the braid it had been in looked intentional, not rushed- as did the way the crown of my hair sparkled with the silver dust that I’d smashed away from my eyes.
The gown had been built around a corseted bodice, which reached my upper thighs, short enough to be scandalous for a regular girl- but too long for one of the Companion’s costumes, which were ridiculously revealing. It wasn’t a shade of ivory like those of the other Given, but a blinding white that Lindy must have chosen to offer up contrast to the pale complexion I’d always been known for, but no longer suffered, and the fact that it was covered with a galaxy of glittery white sparkles made the dress gleam like silver without actually breaking the white-only rule. My breasts looked full and plump but my waist whippet-thin, and the muscles in my hips and legs gave me balance and the appearance of possessing curves- like I indulged in cake rather than a daily jog and I supposed that Lindy had done that purposefully- she’d been trying to overfeed me for years.