by S. K Munt
‘But I love you so much Larkin- I need to know that we are together on this! I cannot focus on rewriting laws over my conviction alone!’
‘Well I have no conviction regarding us! I have been trained not to! If that changes, I will adjust accordingly but until then, stop asking me to put my life and body and heart in your hands while you can only throw me crumbs of your own!’
‘That statue was not a crumb!’
‘That statue is not mine, and you know it!’ I pointed out. ‘Will I be able to take it with me when I leave Eden?’
Kohén’s eyes widened. ‘Why would you leave Eden?!’
‘You want to go to Pacifica!’
‘Well I’m not lugging it across the ocean, it’ll fall apart! Regardless, she is positioned somewhere that will always be a home to us.’
‘I didn’t say that you had to move her across the Pacific!’
‘Then what are you saying?’
I looked down at his chest, averting my eyes and resting my hands on his warm, taut shoulders. ‘I am saying that Liberty is not liberty at all if it is bound. If you want me to say that my home will be where yours is- whether that be here, Arcadia or who knows- then you must wait until I am free to say that, because they will not be true or certain words until they are spoken by a free woman.’
‘That’s nonsense-’
‘No, that’s freedom,’ I said quickly, wetting my lips. ‘I love you Kohén, but I won’t be released from a cage with the expectation being for me to flutter about on a golden leash instead.’ My nerves were jangling in alarm for what I was about to say, but it had to be said. ‘I cannot tell you how I truly feel, because I do not know who I am, understand where I have come from, or have the slightest conviction regarding who I will be. So if you love me, you will give me the time and the distance to ponder my options once I am free, and the chance to get to know you- and other men- and options for my future outside of this master/slave dynamic before you make demands of my heart or body or future-’
‘You want to see…?’ Kohén’s voice sounded like acid, but I let his words and eyes burn through both of us without correcting them and held his gaze defiantly.
‘Other men? Yes, I would like the right to do so.’ And then I cringed and waited for the electric shock to stop my heart as I had clearly just stopped his.
Kohén’s hands went to his hair and he pulled on it like he was trying to physically remove my words from his brain. It was clear, from his thunderstruck countenance that he could not even CONCEIVE of sharing my affection or attention- not even for a second, and dread chugged through my veins like melted lead.
Ahh… now we’re getting it, aren’t we? Bit of a stretch to ask that the person you love be given free range, huh?
‘Why?!’ he bellowed the word, but I did not jump back, for I had been expecting it.
‘Well, it would be very nice to have the situation reversed, for one,’ I pointed out, trying to seem casual even though I was trembling. ‘I have to know that you’ve kissed many sets of lips- and worse- and you want me to deal with that as part of nature’s course. That’s fair enough, but I don’t think you understand what you’re asking me to deal with, and will not, until you’ve seen me with another man, and then have made your own peace with it.’
‘I’ve seen you with Kohl!’
‘Who I thought was you,’ I corrected him, my cheeks growing warm. If he only knew how much more touching Kohl’s fingers meant to me now than our kiss had then! ‘It is not the same thing but once again, you don’t know that, do you? You’ve never been in my shoes- you’ve only fornicated with the women who stole them!’
‘You’re not sleeping with anybody else!’ he snapped. ‘If you fucking well do, I’ll kill you, him and myself!’
My heart fluttered nervously, because it didn’t matter how things progressed with Kohl- I’d already made a deal with the devil that was next in line. I’d done it in a moment of desperation without pausing to contemplate it first, but that had been my choice and now I had to see it through. And wasn’t that why I’d released Kohén from my heart since the day after my birthday, and had turned to Kohl instead? Didn’t I suspect that deep down; only one brother would be able to forgive that? Kohl was besotted with me yes, but he didn’t treat me like a thing he owned, and had sent me those books before he’d known that I might escape his brother’s physical molestation. Besides, he was Given too, so he understood obligations in a way that Kohén never would be able to.
But I also saw that I’d have to confess my promise to Karol to Kohl as well to be fair to everyone. If neither boy could live with it, then neither boy could be with me, and realising as much would set me free, as much as counting on them both to forgive it would surely see me burned.
Or maybe, one would get so angry that they’d fly to Eden and slit his sleazy big brother’s throat, sparing me...
‘I didn’t say that I would want to have sex with anyone,’ I conceded. ‘But I want the freedom to decide for myself, and I’ve earned the right for you to tolerate my doing so with a forgiving heart. I know that you love me, but I don’t know how strong that love is until the foundation it has grown upon shifts, much like the plate beneath this part of the ocean did-’
‘Then let’s shift in my way, so you understand how I am going to MAKE you forgive me, my love,’ Kohén whispered, grasping my hips and pulling them against his, as his mouth came down hard on mine again. He groaned, fluttering his tongue teasingly inside my mouth like butterfly wings and I overheated in a heartbeat when I felt the bulge in his leather pants press into the apex of my legs. He gripped my hair and pulled my head back and began to molest my neck with his teeth, lips and tongue, biting, suckling and panting against my skin, and I began to sweat under the heat of my responding desire.
‘Kohén…!’ I couldn’t move- he was pulling too hard on my hair for me to upright myself, and when his hand cupped my breast through my bikini, every muscle in my body locked up in fear, except for my breasts which burned sweetly at his touch. ‘Please…’ but my plea was weak. I was dizzy and aroused already and scared and too overcome to think clearly.
‘I’m not going to take your virginity tonight,’ he suckled hard on my neck, making me gasp, and held the pressure there. ‘But I think I’m going to have to start making you wish that I would…’ his fingers peeled the crochet away from my breast and tucked it under my breast, hoisting it higher, and then he bent his head and took my nipple in his hot mouth and I cried out as a thrill shot through me.
Oh my GOD!
‘Fuck, yes…’ he whispered, his mouth coming back to mine while his fingers tickled and tweaked my nipple, working it over until it was so stiff that it hurt. ‘You think another man is going to be able to do this to you?’ he lowered his mouth to my chest again and I went limp as his erection stiffened more between us and pressed into me deliciously. ‘You’re wrong! You’re asking for the freedom to discover what I already know…. that we belong together.’ He held my face back so that I could see how dilated his pupils had become, and how his fingers were crackling where they touched my skin again. ‘I am going to waive the contract for exactly ten seconds, Larkin,’ he whispered. ‘And I am going to ask you to let me make love to you with my mouth...’ he lowered one hand to rock my backside into him again, forcing me to gulp down air so that I wouldn’t faint for the strength of the pulsations. ‘Here.’ He slipped his hand between us and pushed the fabric of my string underwear aside, then gently pressed his fingertips into me. My abdomen contracted and my hips rocked back. ‘Yes…’ he breathed. ‘Feel how wet you are Larkin? That’s your free will. That’s what you feel for me.’ He eased a finger inside me and grunted and I felt myself squeezing him- not pushing him out but holding him there, and we were both so hot and breathing so haggardly that I could have sworn that a sweet mist had descended upon us. I was out of my mind with lust and when he began to slide his finger gently in and out of me, I knew that I wasn’t going to have the chance to say yes, be
cause I was going to orgasm within a matter of seconds.
‘Ask me to serve you, my sweet, sexy little slave girl,’ he whispered, pressing his thumb into my clit as he massaged my wet sex at a more rapid rate. ‘Command me to pleasure you! There will be no repercussions- no debts owed to me after, just bliss. Just…’ he pressed his mouth against mine and whispered: ‘My tongue in this perfect pussy, and my conviction in your very soul.’
I opened my mouth to cry out yes, but there was a sudden boom and then a moment later, ice cold rain was falling in a thin sheet, saturating us both in a matter of seconds.
Kohl.
I yelped and Kohén laughed and helped me to my feet. ‘Here!’ he moved the picnic things aside, swept the blanket up off the ground and slung it above us, holding me close while I shivered and shook for a million different reasons. Champagne had spilled, strawberries were everywhere and we were both drenched, but when Kohén turned to me and took me into his arms, he was still hot and his grin was brighter than lightning ever had been.
‘I guess they argued, huh?’ he asked me, kissing me quickly.
I doubted that an argument with Kelia was the source for Kohl’s sudden anguish, and was fairly certain that if I lifted the picnic blanket, I would spy him not far away watching us or rather, watching over me. I felt awful about it all, but not on just one of their behalves, but both. I was so confused!
‘Ten seconds is up,’ I panted, and Kohén smiled at me.
‘That’s okay. I got my answer.’ His eyes were sparkling. ‘And look at you… all hot and bothered. I’m not going to lie, it’s fucking thrilling to see, and to know that you’re going to sleep with as much difficulty tonight as I have for the last year.’ He touched my neck, staring at it. ‘And this looks even better than gold- I’m certain my father will agree.’
I pursed my lips at him. ‘You marked me?’
‘I marked you well,’ he said proudly, then pointed to the sky. ‘And we have a good excuse for why I didn’t get to finish what I started.’
‘You’re so…’ I didn’t know whether to be amused or dismayed. Kohl would see the bruise and... and..
And assume what? The truth?
‘I know,’ Kohén said, then lifted his finger to his lips and suckled on it, making my face flame when he closed his eyes. ‘And you’re as heavenly as I thought you would be.’
I narrowed my eyes at him, even though I felt that strange fluttering in my lower stomach again at the sight of him doing something so salacious. ‘Be careful, your highness,’ I said. ‘You’re starting to look a little hot and bothered yourself.’
‘I am,’ he whispered. ‘But that is nothing new.’
I stepped into him and whispered huskily: ‘Can I assist you in cooling down?’ I tugged gently on his belt buckle. ‘Perhaps with my hands?’
His eyes popped open, and almost blinded me with the light within them. ‘You would do that?!’
‘Of course,’ I lowered my lashes. ‘It is my duty to make sure that you do not overheat, remember? I’d hate for somebody to get hurt because I left you simmering as you have left me.’ I reached up and kissed his chin sweetly. ‘Besides, I really, really want to…’
Kohén’s breathing was enough to steam us alive under there. ‘Yes…’ he rested his forehead against my temple, swaying into me as I caressed his bobbing Adam’s apple with my mouth slowly and sensually. ‘God yes… have your way with me.’
‘As you wish, master.’ And then I grinned, reached up and pulled the picnic blanket out of his arms. ‘Voila! One COLD shower to put out your fire!’
The rain was still falling hard and we were instantly inundated. Kohén let out a bellow and reached for me but I squealed and jumped back. ‘You misleading, defiant little tease!’ he exclaimed, lunging after me.
‘I only behave such a way, because I know that you have the grace and humour to bear it, your grace!’ I taunted, and then dropped the blanket and ran. ‘Mahalo for the picnic, master! We should do it again in another four years!’
And to prove my athletic scores to be accurate- only his laughter could keep up with me, so when I returned to my room I was wet, puffed and alone.
But not miserable. Not like Kelia. Without saying a word, I opened my arms to her, and she ran to me and sobbed.
‘I thought Kohl could save me from this life,’ she whispered. ‘But he confessed that he is in love with someone else-some native no doubt! And then he tried to say that I announced my own feelings on the dock earlier while Kohén was listening and I just feel…’ she clung to me, crying. ‘They’re both awful!’
‘I’m sorry that you’ve been hurt,’ I kissed the top of her head. ‘But you need to save yourself, Kelia, don’t you get it?’
She pulled back and regarded me with red eyes, then pointed to my throat. ‘How can I, if you cannot?’
I pressed my hand to the place on my skin, which felt tender but warm, thinking that allowing that much had saved me, but Kelia did not wait for a reply. Sighing in defeat, she turned and went back into her room and locked it between us too, so I sighed and went to sit in front of the fire.
That was when I noticed the books sitting on a small cane and glass table beside the hearth, and reached for it, curious as I had not seen it before. It was the old kind, and the cover almost fell off when I opened it, and my eyes widened when I saw the bright red stamp in the front of it. ‘Contraband- destroy.’ There was a note in there too, in Kohl’s hand, and I lifted it to my eyes:
Larkin,
‘And again, when he brings the firstborn into the world, he says, “Let all God's angels worship him.”
This has not changed yet, but you are the reason why it could, for when you smile at me, I feel the joy of a million angels’ smiles upon me.
-Love always, the third-born son, Kohl Barachiel.
I dropped my watering eyes and read the tile, almost shaking when I realised that I was in possession of one of the books that was supposed to be as absent from our new world, as precious gems were.
‘King James Holy Bible…’ I pressed my fingers to my mouth, amazed that Kohl would break a cardinal rule by supplying me with such a thing, and not at all surprised by myself when I picked it up and took it to my room immediately to read.
I’d outgrown many things, but curiosity was not one of them.
14.
We went on a guided horseback tour of the island the very next day and once again, I was the only person fascinated by the things that Kohl, Elijah and the prime minister really wanted to show off: the small, pretty village surrounding the coastal side of the rise of the Caldera to keep it out of the reach of storm surges, and then fields and fields of spiky little heads, all poking out of the red soil in sweet little rows.
Kohén clearly expected me to ride with him- he’d not stopped grinning at me all morning and asking me how I could bear to wear my hair out in such heat- for I had it hanging over my shoulders loose again to hide my love bite, but Elfin flung herself up onto the horse behind him before he could ask me, and because Lette had already nabbed Kohl (at Kelia’s soft insistence- she had been in a foul, silent mood all day) I ended up with Jovi, who went far too slow for my liking, but gave me the opportunity to have a long chat with the prime minister who rode beside me.
‘It’s amazing that you’ve developed so much land!’ I exclaimed to Atticus from behind my guide’s chubby, grass-skirted back. ‘Corn, pineapples, coconuts, wheat…’
‘We need to be pretty self-sufficient here,’ he said, his smile warm without a trace of lust peeking out from within. True to military form he was a tall, rectangular-shaped man whose every feature was both wide and squared off, from his square ears to his perfectly straight teeth, which seemed to be in aligned with his flat, straight eyebrows. ‘And we never had the locust problem that you did. So we’ve had fifteen wonderful years of harvests, and not even the most prolonged monsoon seasons can knock down a pineapple!’
‘Just think of what Arcadia will be like fifteen
years from now, now that thanks to you and Karol, we are free of locusts too Larkin,’ Elijah had said, pulling up on the other side of me with Constance behind him and a contented smile on his face. He’d trimmed his beard to accommodate the topical climate so it was no longer wiry and braided with gold, but razed to a shadow with ornate edges. ‘Pretty soon, Pacifica will be able to run without us needing to visit so often.’
‘Except when we come to see our son of course,’ Constance reminded him, poking him in the sides a little, but he laughed.
‘Our son is almost a man,’ he pointed out cheerfully. ‘And a man understands that it isn’t conceivable for his entire family and their entourage to cross the Pacific twice a year when there are matters demanding their attention back home.’
‘Kohl is one of the matters demanding your attention, and as his home is not with us, it is your duty to come to him,’ the duchess said snidely- her snappish mood in complete contrast to the way she’d pulled her black cloud of hair up into a coiled pony-tail which bobbed with every hoof-fall. She looked so young! And yet every word out of her mouth was loaded with centuries of contempt. ‘It’s called being a parent, and you need not bring along anyone but your loving spouse, you know.’
If Elijah sensed his spouse’s tone, he either ignored it or attempted to smooth it over by smiling at the prime minister and saying: ‘Our son is being given equal, if not more consideration than any other Given child in Calliel, Constance, and has grown well for it. Besides, Atticus here is all the father figure he’ll ever need to make him into a man.’
‘And all the father figure he’s ever had,’ the duchess snapped back. ‘Possessing testosterone in excess is genetically guaranteed for Kohl. But I fear for how that chemical will begin to burn through him without a mother around to monitor where it flows.’ She gave me a derisive look. ‘You never know what sort of future he may come to lust after, if he’s not guided away from vice.’