by S. K Munt
I heard him curse and then a skidding sound and suddenly, his boots were pounding along the corridor behind me. I sucked in a breath and hitched my skirts, preparing to sprint, but I was pushed sideways into the wall hard enough to make my intoxicated mind fuzz.
‘Then flatten me!’ Kohl shoved me back up against the wall when I tried to regain my footing, and once again, his eyes were black. ‘Come on, little bird! You’ve just repeatedly stabbed me in the heart- so why not pummel me as well, hmm? Because that’s what it’s going to take to stop me, from stopping YOU!’
‘Don’t think I won’t!’ I warned him, tears still streaming down my cheeks. ‘And don’t think that I can’t!’ I shoved him back hard- so hard that he went flying back into the opposite wall. His eyes widened with shock, but he pushed off it and began to advance on me again. ‘I got your education, remember?’ I jeered. ‘I’ll wipe the floor with your third-born ass!’ He darted forward to grab me again, but I deflected his hand, hitting him hard in the wrist. ‘Stop it!’ I hissed, glancing to my left and toward the throne room but blessedly, no one was within view. ‘Do you want to be seen and accused of forcing yourself on me too?’ I was panting and my mind was spinning, but my muscles were ready for flight or fight. ‘Cos it won’t look good if there’s an inquest into my death after, if there are signs of a struggle on us both!’
But Kohl smiled a smile that didn’t meet his eyes. ‘You think I’ll care about any of that, if you die today?’ he shook his head. ‘You underestimate me, sweet girl.’ He stepped forward, trying to cup my face and pull me to him. ‘You underestimate us.’
I sobbed, and did all that I could do- I lifted my hand and slapped him hard enough to make a sound like a cracking whip resonate off the walls. ‘There’s no us!’ I croaked as Kohl was knocked into the wall, which he grasped at while he panted. ‘I’m a nefarious little whore- and you’re an angel!’ I wrenched my gaze from his, unable to bear the sight of his reddened profile, and stormed past. ‘The world will be a better place without me Kohl, so do your Nephilim duty, and stop trying to save one who was lost at conception- OH!’
There was nothing tender about the way he caught me and twisted me in his arms, grabbing the nape of my neck with one hand, and clutching at the belt of my dress to pull me more closely with the other. And yet his eyes were blue again and burning with tenderness as he looked into mine and whispered: ‘My Nephilim duty is to win hearts for God,’ he leaned in and brushed his lips against mine, gasping in some easily-won euphoria before he whispered: ‘and I don’t care what you say, or how you claim to feel about either of us right now… so help me Larkin- I will get you to heaven, and in my arms!’
And then he was kissing me so ardently that we were falling back against the wall and- I was sure- straight to hell.
34.
I gasped in shock the first chance that I had to catch a breath, but Kohl used the opportunity to sweep his tongue across mine and claim it, while his hand released my belt and moved to cup my face, holding me in place for his sensual attack. I moaned and tried to push him away but he pressed every inch of his muscular frame against mine, pinning me, and his body heat transgressed both of our clothes and brought me to a swift boil.
Oh, sweet Jesus… is there nothing that will smother the flames of a Barachiel man’s arousal? No poisonous words that will turn their heads and hearts away?
No there wasn’t, and once again I was a fool for not having realised it sooner. This wasn’t about their bloodline- this was about mine. I didn’t have a ‘power’ in the normal sense, but as the duchess had said, there was something about me that provoked sin, and drove ‘good’ men like Karol and Kohl and Kohén to do extreme things in the hope of attaining it. They thought I was sweet and clever and witty and sensual, but I was the alcohol in a cocktail; the nicotine in a cigarette- and the sugar in a cookie. I was addictive and dangerous, and though I’d thought that throwing blows and hateful words at Kohl would have been enough to force him into going cold turkey, all I’d done by demonstrating my evil, was convince him that it was his duty to save me! And with his mouth, of all things!
‘Stop…’ I moaned feebly, and feeble was all I could manage. It had been well over a year since our first and only kiss, and yet the charge was still there. If anything, it had intensified! The skin along my jaw hummed against his hot palm, and his tongue tasted like rum, pineapple and ecstasy as it worked against mine. I hadn’t wanted the kiss- not one little bit, only now that I was in it, I couldn’t conceive of stopping.
“Yeah, that would be the evil whore in you surfacing once more, little swan!” my conscience pointed out. “Need you more proof that you are the result of a joining between a witch and a hellion, than in this very moment?”
I really didn’t, and whatever goodness was left inside me bucked more wildly at the recognition of my returning, completely unfounded lust. ‘Kohl, stop!’ I twisted my face to the side and panted, moaning when his hot lips began to caress the sensitive flesh of my throat. ‘I just told you that I love your brother!’ My palms strained against his chest, but he was immovable. ‘I just told you that what we had was a hallucination on my part!’
‘And I just told you, that I’m going to prove that what we had is real!’ he whispered, nipping at my neck before suckling it sensually, and I wondered if he could feel my heart pounding in my throat as clearly as I could. ‘And if you want to kiss some of that guilt goodbye, then kissing me back would be a good start, don’t you think? I mean, you have a lot of apologising to do...’ he stood and bit my lower lip gently, looking into my eyes. ‘Or have all of your feelings for me completely dissolved overnight?’
I sobbed, and he released my lip. ‘How can you ask me that?’ I asked brokenly. ‘I told you that I love you Kohl, and you know that I’m attracted to you- but it’s just not enough, okay? You deserve better than this!’
Kohl cocked his head to the side, and the shadows delighted in his incredible bone structure, as did I. ‘Better… than a diamond?’ he whispered, smiling wryly and shaking his head. ‘Sorry Larkin, but there’s no such thing,’ he stroked my hair, and his heated gaze became adoring again- a pale, sweet blue. ‘How many angels have to worship you, before you realise that you’re not the devil, but a goddess?’
‘I’m not- ohhh!’ my knees went limp when his hand slipped from my neck and down my back, grasping my backside and forcing my hips against his, where he was hard- just as his lips melded against mine again. The connection between his stiffness and my softness made the bundle of nerve endings at the hilt of my sex tingle ecstatically, and it must have been a two-way hit, because he groaned and did it again, curling his hips against mine, grinding into me and damn near bringing me to a climax that swiftly.
‘You’re so fucking beautiful,’ he whispered, a ravenous note in his voice to match his ravenous mouth as it trailed over my lips and jaw. ‘I’ve been hard since our first kiss, little bird- do you have any idea how torturous this past year has been, when you haven’t been in my arms? How difficult it is for me to sleep when I remember you wet and sandy and smiling at me? Or the way you bit that sexy fucking lip when you showed me this?’ he reached down and caressed my belly ring through the silk of my dress. ‘Fuck…I can’t believe you’d think that I’d let you leave! That I could stand this planet without you!’
‘Ohhh…’ My knee hitched at his hip, widening my stance so that he could roll his hips against me without anything getting in the way, as though I could make the year up to him by offering up a little compliance, as my brain compartmentalised into right, wrong, fear and excitement. ‘Kohl…wait…’ But his passion was too intense for my thoughts to override, and I fell into some sort of hot fog- the one created by his hot little gasps for air as he ground himself against me while looking down to watch, and when I next emerged from it, Kohl’s tongue was inside my mouth again and mine was responding.
This is so, so wrong but oh God… it feels so good! He’s right! How could I give up on life, without e
xperiencing this sort of passion first? How could Kohén be the only one for me, when every time Kohl touches me, it ends in fireworks?
Our kisses hot, sweet and deep, and every few seconds, he pulled away to mumble something that made everything hot, sweet and deep inside me rise to the surface of my consciousness until all I was, was desire without a skerrick of sense to be seen.
‘Killing yourself won’t save me from my brother’s wrath…’ he breathed as his hands began to grasp at my flesh needfully. ‘And telling me that I’m not the one doesn’t make me love you one little bit less...’
‘It should…’ I mewled, but my hands were moving too- pulling at his collar and sliding down his shirt so that I could caress the firm, hot chest beneath. ‘You should knock me to the ground!’ my lips worked against the slight stubble along his jaw, bringing my attention to the fact that he’d started shaving. I moaned when I caught a scent of his cologne- something new that made me feel even drunker than I already was. ‘You should-’
‘I plan to!’ Kohl caught my thighs, hoisted me up so that I was straddling his hips and pressed me into the wall, working my tongue with his in a frenzied manner that was both too deep and not deep enough. I clutched at him like a woman falling who only wanted to prolong the descent, not stop it. ‘Right now, and right under their noses!’
I was pretty gone on him by that point, yet his words were shocking enough to batt some of the lusty haze away from my brain. I pushed off his shoulders and gaped at him. ‘What?!’
‘We’re going to make love again,’ he whispered, squeezing my backside with both hands and groaning under his breath in appreciation before whispering: ‘And afterwards, we’re going to live happily ever after.’
My hand shot up and intercepted his lips before they could capture mine again. ‘Make love…?’ I squeaked, fairly certain that he wasn’t suggesting an innocent frangipani rubdown this time. ‘What will that accomplish... aside from satisfying you, anyway?’
‘I plan on the satisfaction going both ways, if you don’t mind…’ Kohl grinned and suckled on my finger. ‘But aside from that, it will get us sent into the Wildwoods, little bird- together.’ My lips parted on a sharp inhalation, and though I couldn’t articulate the question: ‘Really?’ he understood it and nodded. ‘Kohén won’t have a chance to brand you or cover up our affair- in fact, both he and Karol will be forbidden from touching you or being alone with you, once it’s common knowledge that you’ve been had, rather than mere hearsay. And with even one witness to say that they saw us kissing, let alone naked together- there will be no need for any inspection, either, so you’ll be spared that horrific ordeal as well.’
‘I’ll still be branded as promiscuous though!’ I squeaked, but Kohl rolled his eyes.
‘I think we both know that one partner does not, a promiscuous person make, and everyone else will see that too, so who cares?’ he smirked. ‘And if you’re worried about the pain, then let me assure you that not only will I be getting one too, but that it’ll hurt a lot less than landing on the rocks at the bottom of the tidal fall will!’ he shook his head gently. ‘It’s the only way to get us both out of here together, that my selfish brothers won’t be able to manipulate to suit their own needs, Lark, don’t you see? This is the only path that you can take and survive!’ he kissed me, and his eyes were as warm and needy as his lips. ‘Consent to me now- and you’ll never be had against your will! Not within Eden’s walls, and not out in the Wildwoods because I’ll be with you, protecting you. Kissing you…’ he groaned and nibbled on my earlobe, whispering sexily: ‘Fucking you senseless under a starry sky…night after night… forever...’
A flash of red obscured my vision as a flash of want took me over, but I still had sense enough to think past it. I knew that Kohl was telling the truth- if people were found guilty of crimes while a Shepherd was in the vicinity, the matter was always handled promptly and right where the guilty parties stood, and right now, there were at least three shepherds within Eden’s boundaries who were capable of doling out a sentence. There would be no need to detain us separately, and no chance for Karol or Kohén to sneak us away so that they could deliver their own form of justice upon us- which meant no rape for me, and no whipping for Kohl, which definitely improved my outlook on life.
And he’s right… going out into the Wildwoods with a competent, strong young man who has been raised roughly is a better alternative to tackling a waterfall by myself, isn’t it?
I really didn’t want Kohén- or anyone- to believe that I’d cheated on him, but either my reputation or my freedom was going to go up in smoke that day, and there was no avoiding that, so why not do the selfish thing for once, if it was what Kohl wanted?
But was it what he wanted? Could I make Kohl happy? Was I thinking with my brain, or my hormones? Was I thinking at all? Surely, there were other ways to save him! I could go out into the throne room, and tell everyone the truth about who was the rightful heir! Or, I could run in the opposite direction, and tell Constance the truth, so that she could intervene before Kohén could act!
And she’d do that, because she’s just so good at coming through for Kohl when it counts? Because her wants and needs and wishes and pleas hold so much weight with Kohén and her husband? Pfft! If anything, running out to her and making it known that she has prior knowledge of this will see her kicked out the second that Kohén turns twenty-one, not propelled into a position where she will be able to intervene!
I didn’t know what to make of any of it, and Kohl’s roving lips and high hopes was only making it harder for me to focus. All I’d wanted my whole life, was to have options for my future, and now that I had several, I didn’t know what to do! And thanks to the champagne I’d had, I knew that I wasn’t weighing the options the way that I ought to, before choosing between several such drastic courses of action.
“What would Martya do?” was the question that I usually asked myself before making a decision, but that wasn’t going to help me now, because Martya would never have found herself in such a compromising position in the first place!
‘If you go public with this, and out Karol… he’ll probably rescind his birthday wish to spite us both,’ Kohl whispered, and something inside me flared hotly- furiously. Had he sensed that Martya was on mind? Was he psychic, on top of everything else? ‘Then, not only will we lose our freedom- but those other thirteen kids will as well.’
His point hit the desired target and sank deep into my gut, where my anxiety lived. Kohl was right- going public would not only screw us, but it would screw those kids out of a future as well, and that wasn’t fair- just as announcing Kohl’s rightful claim on the throne would see more Given girls thrown into this existence, and that wasn’t fair either. So that left me with three options: Pray for the good in Kohén to overcome the evil in me and let Kohl and I off the hook scot-free (which seemed highly unlikely), die and let everybody else clean up my mess- or get a brand, my freedom… and Kohl too.
I hated to admit it, but Kohl was probably onto something. It irritated me- the idea of keeping all of the royal family’s awful secrets for them while Kohl and I publicly played the roles of the wicked sinners, but so long as I kept what I knew to myself, I’d retain a little bit of the upper hand, wouldn’t I? If I kept her secret, maybe the duchess would find a way to help Kohl and I, either by smuggling us weapons or something to trade and maybe, just maybe, if I left him with his impeccable reputation, Karol would let Lindy and Coaxley be and rush to marry Ora as soon as he realised that I was off-limits, and always would be.
I took Kohl by the hair and met his gaze. ‘You… are you sure that this is what you want?’ I whispered, fearful now that I was seriously considering throwing everything that I had worked for away with both hands, and clinging to Kohl instead.
‘A fresh slate with you? A chance to win your heart in its entirety?’ Kohl was radiant. ‘It’s all I want. And if you go over those falls…’ he shook his head, his eyes growing wet. ‘I will follow you anywa
y- to hell, according to even the most progressive shepherds.’
A sob escaped my throat at the idea of being evil enough to convince such a sweet Nephilim soul that suicide was his only option too. ‘But... but the crown… your family…?’
‘I only ever wanted to be king, because it could have given me the power to make you my queen,’ Kohl whispered, his voice breaking. ‘So without you, it’s meaningless to me… can’t you see that?’ he swallowed, and a tear trickled out of the corner of his eye. ‘Can’t you look into my eyes, and see that the love I have for you will never go away, even if you do?’ he traced his thumb over my lower lip. ‘That I won’t rest, until I’ve won your heart?’
But I didn’t need to look into his eyes to know that I should choose him- he’d just said the very thing that I’d been praying that Kohén would say for years: that I was enough. That I was all that he wanted of tomorrow. That I was worth dying for, and his admission made him priceless to me. Not a diamond, no, but something rarer: a shooting star- something forged from God’s light, and not compacted dirt.
Someone who could win my heart for God.
I sniffled and traced both of my thumbs over my his brown bone, and he closed his eyes blissfully. ‘You don’t need the chance to win my heart,’ I croaked, and when his eyes opened slowly and lazily, they were an azure blue. ‘I- I think you just did.’
Kohl sucked in a breath. ‘You’ll…?’
I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck. ‘Yes, Kohl- I want my Happily Ever After to be with you.’
We both heard the door open then- the one from the courtyard, letting in the strands of music being played by the band out on the common. Panic washed through me, but adoration numbed me to almost everything but Kohl’s arms around me. I was kissing him before I felt his lips against mine, and we were crossing into the throne room, me cradled in his arms, before I realised that he’d lifted me off my feet. I heard the murmurs and whispers and giggles before I was aware that we had an audience, and I felt the sunlight filter through the skylights and penetrate my eyelids while warming my skin, before I opened them. I heard a thump and a gasp or two, and then the shadows were back and I opened my eyes, curiosity overwhelming me for the millionth time in my short, wearying life. I looked around, and when I sighted the row of flags lifting away from the wall and billowing in an unseen draught, I knew that Kohl had carried us from the southern wing to the western, and now, we were alone in the west corridor with the world’s existing and shadowed flags as our only witnesses.