by LJ Evans
“Asha has another sixteen-week tour scheduled for after the new album releases,” Mia told Wynn.
“Wow. What’s Lonnie going to do?”
“What do you mean?”
“With…you know,” and Wynn nodded her head toward Edie who was oblivious to the conversation.
Mia’s face registered the fact that she hadn’t even considered it. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t think he’s even thought about it either.”
“When does it start?”
“Not for another month.”
“Well, maybe she’ll be out of rehab by then,” Wynn said. But she doubted that, even if Lita got out, CPS was going to give Edie back to her so quickly.
“Has Lonnie told you much about her?” Mia asked, curiosity filling her eyes.
“No, not much,” Wynn said able to keep her mouth shut for the first time in her life. She didn’t know much. Just that Lita didn’t know who Edie’s father was, and that she’d been drugged up during the pregnancy, and that she’d pretty much let Edie go hungry. But she also knew it wasn’t her place to say any of that to Mia. Wynn was normally awful with keeping secrets, but Lonnie had kept hers, so there was no way she was going to spill her guts about his.
Mia let it drop, and they played with Edie until the boys came back with the pizza. They all ate together like one big gang, with Edie at the center. Edie was good at making everyone laugh, just like her uncle. She loved to tease Lonnie in a way that made everyone else smile. She threatened to dump the pizza and her soda on the floor, and he jumped like a startled bird. She giggled, and he tickled her breathless.
It was sweet. It enthralled Wynn as much as it had the night she’d helped him with Edie’s room. So, she found herself staying much longer than she’d expected. In fact, she stayed until the boys were done in the studio, and Lonnie was dragging Edie out to the truck, still wide awake.
He turned to Wynn with a tired smile after he’d tucked Edie into the car seat. Wynn waved a hand toward the little girl.
“Good luck,” she told him.
He ran his hand over his face and the scraggle that never seemed to disappear these days. “Thanks. I’m thinking about making her go for a run with me.”
“I’d pay money to see that.”
He chuckled.
“Goodnight,” she said, and he waved before they both got in their cars and drove their separate ways.
She’d just settled into bed when Cam texted. She tended to text late these days, after getting Mayson to sleep and their daily lives in order.
CAM: Tell me again that you aren’t sleeping with the Lumberjack.
WYNN: No!
CAM: But you’re cleaning poop off the little girl he brought back from L.A.?
WYNN: Ergh. Yes. Sounds like Mia’s the one who can’t keep her mouth shut these days. *eye-roll emoji*
CAM: Seriously, what’s up? You okay?
Wynn thought about that. Was she okay? She could say that she was closer to okay than she was a month ago. She was finding her way again, and she wanted to help Lonnie do the same. She wasn’t oblivious to the fact that they found each other attractive, but she also liked that they weren’t making their friendship about that. She didn’t want that.
WYNN: I’m good. Better than I’ve been in a while.
CAM: Because of Lonnie?
WYNN: No. Because I’m healing.
CAM: You’ve always been the one who could weather the storm without breaking.
Wynn knew that this wasn’t true…that Lonnie had seen her break. But she also wasn’t going to tell Cam that right now. Maybe never. Even though Cam was her best friend, she couldn’t tell her everything. She didn’t want Cam always doubting whether she could talk about Mayson or any other baby that came their way.
WYNN: It was a close call, but I’m okay.
CAM: Let me know if I need to come punch someone in the face.
Wynn snorted.
WYNN: Will do.
CAM: Love you.
WYNN: Love you right back.
When she looked at her text, she was surprised that it was the words she’d heard Lonnie use with Edie last weekend, instead of the normal, “Love you back.” She’d been brought to tears that night not only by his words with his niece, but by the way he’d found a way to protect the cape that Edie wouldn’t remove. She’d been brought to tears by the way he’d given up his heart and his life without a second thought.
She put her phone on the charger and tucked down into her bed. But like normal, she couldn’t sleep right away. Instead, her thoughts were full of capes and redheads.
* * *
Wynn had just gotten into her car on Friday after her last day with Doctor Morris when her phone started ringing. She looked down and saw it was Mia. “Hey, girlie. What’s up?”
“Are you off work?”
“Just leaving. Why?”
“Well, I was supposed to go by Lonnie’s and take over for Mama, but we’ve had this sudden wave of buyers because of our Labor Day sale. I don’t really want to leave because Denise is barely keeping up. Mama’s got her book club and says she’ll just cancel, but then I thought you might not mind.”
Wynn didn’t even have to think about it twice. She knew, after Edie’s sad face when she hadn’t seen Wynn in a week, that she wanted to see the little girl again. It had been almost another week, though, so who knew what Edie would think. “I absolutely don’t mind. Tell Marina I’m on my way.”
“Okay, thanks!”
They hung up, and she drove straight to Lonnie’s apartment, still in her scrubs from work.
Marina hugged her.
“Hey, I told Mia it wasn’t going to kill me to miss the book club this month. I didn’t even like the book,” Marina said.
“Well, I’ve been dying to see Edie again, so this works out for me,” Wynn said as Edie came bounding over, cape floating behind her, teddy bear clutched in her arms.
“Wynn!” She threw herself on Wynn’s leg.
It was a way better reception than the frowns and unspoken accusations of the Saturday before at Mia’s, but it still pulled at Wynn’s insides. Wynn bent over and hugged her back. “Hey, Edie girl. How are you?”
“I’s make a fort.”
Wynn looked into the apartment’s living area to see that they had, indeed, made a fort. There were some big boxes that Marina must have brought, and blankets and pillows. Marina had even hung twinkle lights inside that glowed against the blue sheet like a Fourth of July parade.
“I built a fort,” Marina corrected with a smile.
“Wow, you certainly did,” Wynn said at the same time.
“Lonnie said he’s been trying to correct her language. It’s probably a good thing,” Marina explained. Wynn had noticed it the previous Saturday, but when Lonnie hadn’t called attention to it, she hadn’t either.
“You’s come in!” Edie demanded, pulling on Wynn’s hand.
“Can you come in?” Marina chuckled, then she looked to Wynn. “I put a Mexican casserole together for when you’re ready for dinner. Call if you need anything.”
Wynn waved, Marina let herself out, and Edie pulled her into the fort where they spent the next few hours playing together. They did everything in the fort. They ate dinner there, read books, and played with blocks. They built a tower so high that it touched the sheet near the sparkly lights.
When it was close to nine o’clock, Edie started to yawn. Wynn took her into the bathroom, found the shower cap contraption Lonnie had used, and did her best to give Edie a bath.
Wynn got drenched in the process, her scrubs clinging to her because Edie didn’t really like the bath and was worried about the cape. Wynn guessed she hadn’t really built up enough trust with the little girl after trying to remove the cape the first time she’d put her in the tub. When they were done, and the little girl had her pajamas on, her eyes started to droop almost immediately.
Wynn tucked her into her bed in the room Wynn and Lonnie had put together for her.
Wynn tried to tuck her in on the sides like Lonnie had.
“Nonnie?” Edie asked, her little voice full of worry.
“He’ll be back while you’re asleep,” Wynn reassured her.
“You’s sleep there?” Edie pointed to Lonnie’s bed. It made Wynn flush. The little girl hadn’t meant anything by it, obviously. She just wanted to be able to see a grown-up if she woke up. She needed reassurance that she wasn’t alone. It also made her think about what it would be like to sleep in Lonnie’s bed… with Lonnie.
“Sure. Until Lonnie gets home, then he’ll be there.”
“You’s here in the morning?”
“Um. Probably not. I have to go to my own house.”
“Your mommy miss you?”
“Yes,” Wynn said, even though it had probably been a long time since her mama missed her in the way that Edie was talking about.
“You’s think my mommy miss me?”
That brought tears to Wynn’s eyes. She missed her own little babies, and she’d never been able to hold them, so it was impossible for her to think that Lita wouldn’t miss this adorable creature.
“I’m sure your mama misses you with all her heart.”
“S’es sick.”
“I know, kiddo.”
“Better soon?”
Wynn had no idea what to say to that. She didn’t want to lie. She didn’t want to give Edie the wrong expectation, but she also wanted to reassure her.
“I…I don’t know. Maybe you and Lonnie can call tomorrow to check on her.”
But Edie had already passed out in that way that was crazy and also made Wynn a little jealous. It was still hard for her to fall asleep these days. The addiction to the pills was gone, but her brain was still too full of all her failures. Of being twenty-five and starting everything all over again.
She shut the light off, and then looked down at her wet clothes. She didn’t feel like sitting around in them while she waited, so she went to Lonnie’s room to find something she could put on. She found a pair of clean sweats and his Def Leppard t-shirt in a clean clothes pile. The sweats were long but not too bad considering how tall she was. The t-shirt was pretty big even over her curves. It didn’t matter. They were dry. Even though they were clean, they somehow still smelled like Lonnie. Masculine. Spicy. Different than Grant had smelled.
She thought back on it. She wasn’t sure that Grant had really had an odor that made her think of him when she wasn’t with him. His t-shirts had just smelled like Tide when she was done washing them.
Wynn eyed Lonnie’s bed. It was unmade. Bachelor style. She reached for the remote on the bedside table and sat down on the foot of the bed. She clicked it on and channel surfed until she found a Charmed marathon weekend on cable. She lay down sideways on the foot of the bed, happy to watch her favorite tween-years series until Lonnie came home.
She lay like that until her wrist started to ache from keeping her head up and then eyed the pillows and the blankets. She sighed and moved to the headboard. She fluffed the gazillion pillows he had on his bed. It was weird to her that he liked having a lot of pillows. She had always liked that, too. Grant had gotten used to it, but it hadn’t been anything he would have done on his own.
She sighed again once she had scrunched down into the pillows and covers. Lonnie’s bed was really comfortable. And it smelled even more like him than the clean t-shirt and sweats. She pulled the sheet up to her chin where the scent wafted over her.
Two episodes had come and gone when she felt herself drifting off, the coziness leaching into every piece of her, shutting off her brain. She fought it for all of two seconds before she didn’t. She didn’t sleep easily, so if she could get a few hours in before Lonnie got home, all the better.
That was all she remembered until a calloused hand was gently rubbing her arm.
When she opened her eyes, Lonnie was sitting on the side of the bed, eyes hooded in the dim flicker of light from the TV. “Hey,” she said, smiling up at him before she even considered it.
His eyes closed for a minute and then opened back up, and she wasn’t sure she could deny the look that was there. She flushed, realizing what it must look like with her in his bed, in his clothes, waiting for him.
But she didn’t move. She was still groggy from sleep. And he looked too good to move. Instead, she stared at him, with his red scruff on his chin, and his tattooed eyes looking down at her with more desire than Grant had looked at her in quite some time before their marriage had broken apart.
Lonnie seemed to shake himself out of whatever he’d been thinking, because he removed his hand from her arm and stood.
“How’d Edie do?”
Wynn sat up, the sheet falling away to reveal his t-shirt. He looked down and then back up a flush crossing his cheek in almost the same way that Wynn felt her own cheeks change colors.
“You’re in my shirt,” he said surprised.
“Yeah. Sorry. My scrubs were drenched after bathing her.”
He swallowed. It made her swallow back. “She sure makes baths hard,” he said with a voice gruff with tiredness and more.
Wynn nodded. “I should go.”
But she didn’t move. She was so comfortable. Getting out and driving home seemed like more work than was necessary.
“Nah. It’s like one in the morning and you’re half asleep still. I’m wide awake. I’ll just go work on my computer for a while and then crash on the couch.”
“You don’t look wide awake. You look all done in.”
He didn’t argue; he just looked away from her, his eyes catching the show on TV. “What’s this?”
“Um. Charmed,” she said like it was a no-brainer.
“What’s Charmed?”
“Wait. You’ve never seen this show?”
He just shook his head.
“Oh my God. It’s a cult classic,” Wynn replied. “Now you have to sit down and watch it.”
She said it before really thinking about it. About inviting him into the bed with her. His bed, that she was in, wearing his clothes. He considered her for a moment as if he was battling himself. Finally, he sank down on the edge and took off his shoes before pushing himself back so that he was next to her. Their shoulders were touching, but she was still under the covers, and he was on top. It didn’t seem to stop the wave of connection that floated between them.
It was the closest she’d been to a guy in a bed in a year. Since Grant. She missed it. Missed having a body beside her. Missed having someone to talk to at night. Missed bullshitting over stupid stuff that was on TV. It had always been comforting. Except now, with Lonnie, it felt like somehow right and wrong were all tied up together. But she didn’t care enough about the wrong, at the moment, to move. To go home and leave behind the comfort and camaraderie she felt sitting in his bed, watching the television with him.
She might hate herself later. But for tonight, she was just going to let it be. Just bask in it for a few hours so that she wouldn’t feel so alone. That she wouldn’t feel like she’d never have this again.
YoU Look Good In My Shirt
Nicknames & the ER
“Oh, but what I'm seeing, I'd sure love seeing
Every morning from now on.”
—Keith Urban
I lay down on the bed next to Wynn, watching the show in silence. My heart was pounding. My body was on high alert. Mia had texted me and let me know that Wynn was at the apartment and not her. So I’d expected her to be here. But I’d expected to come in and find her curled up on the corner of my leather sectional like she had done the other night. I hadn’t expected to find her in my bed.
When she hadn’t been on the couch, I’d been a little worried. I’d first looked in on Edie to make sure she was there and that all was well. She was tucked like I always tucked her in, the stupid cape still tied around her neck, her teddy bear clutched tightly against her little body. I brushed my hand through her soft hair and then turned toward my room to see Wynn lying in my bed.
I’d crossed the hall in a daze. I stood, looking down at her asleep for longer than I knew I should. She looked peaceful and at ease in a way that she didn’t often look. Her soft, pale skin blended in with the white of my sheets, and her red locks were spread across my pillow like flowers in a field. It made me ache. It made me want to pull the covers off and see if I could make her look peaceful for other reasons. It made me want to back away and sleep on the couch before I got involved in something I couldn’t walk away from. That neither of us truly wanted.
Instead, I’d sat down on the bed, rubbing a hand down her arm. When she’d opened sleep-filled eyes and smiled at me, my world seemed to flip over again. Almost as bad as when I’d gotten the call from CPS.
Now, I was lying there, watching some stupid paranormal show while trying not to think about the captivating female that was next to me in my bed. Trying not to think about what it would feel like to run my hands over all of that smooth skin and lose myself, as I’d wanted to do for a long time now, in her. All of her.
“Can I just say that the name Prue gives me the heebie jeebies,” I told her, scorn in my voice. It was mostly to see if I could rile her up and get my mind away from thoughts of our skin blended together.
“Says the man that’s called Lumberjack,” Wynn flashed back at me, defensive. It was cute, her defending this show.
I grinned back at her. I wasn’t even going to bring up the fact that she called me Monkey Boy on more than one occasion. “Only one person calls me that. Lonnie suits me fine.”
“Wait. What’s your real name?” she asked, pulling the pillow up against her stomach as if she needed the barrier between us as much as I did. I looked at the pillow and then into her mesmerizing face. I rolled my eyes in an attempt to keep the mood light and away from the throbbing pulse that seemed to exist between us.
“I don’t like talking about it.”
“Come on. It can’t be that bad. Laurence would be my first guess,” she prodded him.
“Oh, I’m sure that was on Rochelle’s list too.”
She considered me as if my calling my mom Rochelle was still an anomaly she was getting used to.