I placed my hand against the glass, fighting tears.
Logan.
He wouldn’t be here with us today. I’d have to look at Chris and her parents and know that because of me they no longer had their brother and son. They probably wished on a daily basis that I was dead. I didn’t blame them.
“Sophie?”
I cringed. I wasn’t ready to be found yet.
“Yes?” I didn’t bother to turn away from the window at the sound of Caeden’s voice.
“Almost everyone is here. You need to come downstairs.”
I shook my head. “I can’t.”
“You have to,” he growled.
“Caeden,” I turned away from the window and he saw the tears staining my cheeks, “I’m telling you I can’t do this. For once, just leave me alone!”
He walked forward and enveloped me in his arms. I didn’t want to respond to his touch, but my body had a mind of its own.
“Let me go,” I said weakly.
“You know you don’t want that,” he chuckled, his lips brushing against the top of my head. My eyes fluttered closed and my body began to relax. I didn’t want him to calm me though. I wanted to stay up here and wallow.
After a few minutes he pulled away. He cupped my face between his large hands and gazed down at me. “Come on, where’s my she-wolf?”
“Your she-wolf is gone,” I sighed. “She can’t even shift anymore.”
“You’re too hard on yourself, Soph.” He smiled at me and said, “Change into something nice and come downstairs for dinner.”
“I can’t face all of them. I can’t see Logan’s parents. I just can’t do it, Caeden. I can’t.” I kept repeating the words over and over again, hoping they’d get through to him and he’d understand.
“Oh, Sophie,” he breathed, “you have got to let this go and move beyond it. We’re shifters, we all know from a young age that we might die in a fight of some sort. Logan made his choice. His choice, Sophie. Not my choice. Not your choice. But his choice. He died for you and instead of sulking like you stuck a blade in his heart, you need to put a smile on your face and show his parent’s that his death wasn’t in vain.”
“I hate it when you’re right,” I forced a small smile.
“When I’m right? Baby, I’m always right.”
“I’ll be downstairs in a few minutes,” I backed away from him and towards the closet.
“I’ll wait for you,” he sat on the bed, watching me carefully like he thought I was going to make a run for it and jump out the window.
“You don’t need to do that. I’m just going to change,” I shrugged, stepping into the large walk-in closest.
“Yes, I do.”
His tone of voice was stern so I knew there was no point in arguing. “Okay.”
I found a clingy black dress that hugged my expanding curves, but didn’t make me feel like I was being suffocated. I paired it with simple black flats and left my hair down to swish around my shoulders.
“That didn’t take long,” Caeden commented when I stepped back into the bedroom.
“That’s all I get?”
“You look beautiful,” he grinned crookedly, his dimple winking at me. I liked it when he smiled like that. A real smile. He didn’t do it enough anymore.
“That’s better,” I laughed.
We made our way downstairs and I prepared myself to face everyone. My breathing was labored and I was tempted to turn around and run away. But that was weak, and I wasn’t a victim. I think my pregnancy hormones were messing with me. I’d went from being someone who was a fighter to a sniveling baby over night. I needed to get my spark back.
“Ready?” Caeden asked before we rounded the corner that opened into the dining room.
“Yes,” I answered, even though I was far from ready.
Apparently, while Caeden was gone retrieving me, everyone had arrived. The room was packed and I wondered if we had enough room for everyone. Gosh, there were a lot of them.
“Hi,” I waved my hand awkwardly.
Several of the members I’d never been formally introduced to gazed at me curiously while others tossed glares my way. I felt like a tiny insect being scrutinized beneath the lens of a microscope. I didn’t like it one bit. I’d never been one to enjoy being the center of attention and to have this many eyes on me was a bit unnerving.
I swallowed the lump in my throat as my heart beat abnormally fast in my chest like a fluttery bird trying to escape the confines of its cage.
Caeden cleared his throat. “Sophie and I are happy that so many of you were able to join us this Thanksgiving—our first as husband and wife,” he gave my shoulder a squeeze. “We’ve all been through a lot since last years dinner. Some, unfortunately, aren’t here to enjoy this meal and their presence will be missed. The threat is still out there, but I know together we can eliminate it. To strength,” Caeden reached over and grabbed a glass off the table, which he lifted in the air.
Everyone did the same, echoing his words.
After that, Caeden pulled out a chair for me beside his place at the head of the table.
The food was passed around and I piled a spoonful of everything onto my plate. Amy was an incredible cook and I devoured my plate in no time. It was unladylike of me, but whatever. I was hungry…and pregnant, so I had an excuse.
Luckily our friends were seated beside us so I didn’t have to make small talk with a stranger.
“How’s married life treating you?” I asked Bentley and Christian who sat across from me.
Bentley’s entire face lit up and his brown eyes sparkled with excitement. I’d never seen him look so excited before. “It’s wonderful. Who wouldn’t love waking up to this face every morning?” He poked Chris’ cheek.
She rolled her eyes and swatted his hand away. “He just likes the constant sex.”
I choked on the piece of broccoli I was eating. Leave it to Christian to take this conversation into awkward territory. I was ready to back peddle out of this.
“I don’t have to married to have constant sex,” Bryce piped in.
I looked beside me to see Charlotte’s whole face flushed red. “Shut up,” she hissed under her breath at Bryce.
Bryce smirked and draped his arm over the top of her chair.
“We ain’t got nothin’ to be ashamed of,” he put his other hand on his chest, “sex is a natural part of life.” Dang, he sounded like a strung out hippie. “Thunder has to have some lovin’,” he chuckled.
“Oh my God, kill me now,” Charlotte hung her head in her hands. “I’m not very hungry anymore,” she dropped her napkin on her plate and pushed it away.
“Hungry for something else?” Bryce waggled his brows.
“I’m going to kill you in your sleep,” she warned, narrowing her eyes at him. “I will literally sneak into your room and slit your throat.”
“Baby, if you wanted it rough all you had to do is ask, no need to be so angry about it. Although, I’m not down for throat slitting. That usually ends in death and death is so not cool.”
“I don’t know why I love you,” she shook her head.
I honestly didn’t know how Charlotte tolerated Bryce. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Bryce to death, but he had no filter and Charlotte was the more shy type. They were complete opposites, but they always say opposites attract. I guess only time would tell where those two ended up.
Bryce opened up his mouth, no doubt to say something else equally disgusting, but Caeden glared at his younger brother. “Say one more word and I’ll put you in the corner like the five year old you act like.”
“Dude, chill,” Bryce raised his hands in the air in mock surrender. “You’re not my dad, you don’t need to use that tone with me.”
“Someone has to,” Caeden grumbled. “You’re embarrassing me and you’re embarrassing your girlfriend.”
By this time the table was quieting and people were starting to look toward our end of the table.
Bryce knew better than
to say anything further, so his only form of defiance was saluting Caeden, like he was a drill sergeant.
Caeden shook his head and let out a deep breath. I knew he wanted to avoid a scene in front of a crowd like this. Leave it to Bryce to stir up trouble. I know Bryce always meant everything in jest, but sometimes he really needed to think things through before he said them. He was the Alpha’s brother and so he was under just as much scrutiny by the elders as we were.
Luckily we made it through dinner and desert without any more outbursts from Bryce or anyone else. People slowly began to leave and Amy stayed behind to help us clean things up. My parents and Gram left earlier. I had hugged them tightly, never wanting to let go. I hadn’t seen Gram since the day she told us about the baby draining me and I hadn’t seen my parents since my first ultrasound appointment. I missed them fiercely, but since I couldn’t talk to them about what was going on, I decided distance was better. Maybe that made me a wimp, but I didn’t care. It seemed wrong keeping things from them and I knew if I was around them too much I’d end up spilling the beans about the baby, and since Caeden didn’t want anything getting back to the elders there wasn’t much I could talk to Gram about. I mean, she did know about the baby, and obviously hadn’t said anything, but Caeden was so freakin’ paranoid. God, he needed a chill pill…or three.
I finished loading the last dish in the dishwasher and turned to Amy. “Thanks for staying to help clean up and cooking the meal. It was delicious. It meant a lot to me.”
“It was no trouble at all,” she smiled kindly. “I was happy to help.”
We stood, not saying anything for a moment. I’d always liked Amy. She was a good mom and she had always been kind to me. I was really lucky to have her in my life.
“Do you…” She trailed off. “Do you mind?”
My brows furrowed in confusion and then I looked at her hands, noting that she wanted to touch my expanding bump. “Of course,” I replied with a smile.
Her hands tentatively cupped my small rounded stomach. A slow smile spread across her face. “I can’t believe I’m going to be a grandma. I feel too young,” she laughed, looking up at me with kind blue eyes.
“I know exactly what you mean. I feel too young for this. A baby is a huge responsibility, but I love her already.”
She laughed. “Caeden told me he thinks it’s a girl.”
“Yeah, I’m not convinced, but I didn’t like calling the baby ‘it’. That seemed wrong,” I shrugged as her hands dropped away from my belly.
“I feel like I never see you two anymore,” Amy frowned. “You and Caeden should come over for dinner one evening.”
“I’d like that. I’ll talk to him about it,” I assured her as I followed her out of the kitchen. With how exhausted I’d been, I doubted dinner would happen anytime soon. She grabbed her coat and shrugged into it before wrapping a fluffy red scarf around her neck. “Well, I better get going.”
“Thank you, again,” I reached out and hugged her.
“You’re welcome,” she hugged me back tightly.
I locked the door behind her and trudged up to bed. Today had really taken a toll on me. Not only was my body exhausted, but my brain was tired too from all the endless thoughts that had been running through my mind.
Caeden was taking a shower and since I knew I was too tired to rinse away the days grime, I just got in my pajamas, climbed into bed and promptly fell asleep.
* * *
Caeden
“Wake up, Sophie,” I shook her sleeping form. “Wake up. Wake up. Wake up!” I pleaded. She’d been asleep for two whole days! I should have just said screw it and not hosted the Thanksgiving dinner, but as Alpha that was my responsibility. But now Sophie wouldn’t wake up.
“Dude, stop shaking her like that. That can’t be good for her,” Nolan warned as he appeared in the doorway.
I laced my hands behind my head and paced the length of the bedroom. “She won’t wake up.”
“I kind of figured that out,” Nolan gave me an arrogant smirk. I was so angry that I was tempted to punch him in the face.
“I don’t have time for your sarcasm. I need to wake Sophie up.”
“I think you need to chill,” Nolan said. I turned around to continue my pacing, but his hand slammed roughly into my shoulder, halting my progress.
“Two days,” I cried. “It’s been two freakin’ days and she’s still sleeping!”
“Obviously this is what her body needs,” Nolan’s voice was annoyingly calm and devoid of emotion. “You could cause more harm than good by waking her up.”
I squished my eyes closed and let out a growl. When Nolan started making sense you knew things were bad.
“I don’t like this,” I shook my head as my eyes popped open. “I don’t like it one bit.”
“You don’t have to like it,” Nolan said. “That’s your wife and baby, you just accept it.”
I let out a deep breath. “When did you get so smart?”
“I’ve always been this smart. You choose to ignore me. No hard feelings, Cay-berry,” he clapped his hand on my shoulder and guided me out of the bedroom.
“I need to—”
“Nope!”
I strained against the hold he had on me, trying to get back to Sophie.
“Cay-berry, I will full on tackle you to the ground, tie you up, and drag you out of that room if you go in there to sulk for one more minute,” Nolan warned.
“Point taken,” I finally managed to get him to release his hold. Sophie’s cellphone began to ring, and before Nolan could stop me I ran back into the bedroom and grabbed the thin device off the table. “Hello?”
“Caeden? Why are you answering Sophie’s phone?” Evan asked.
“Oh, uh, she’s busy right now,” I stammered.
“Put her on the phone,” Evan sounded exasperated.
“Seriously, she can’t come to the phone right now, she’s in the shower.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “What do you need?”
Evan sighed. “The guys and I are home for Thanksgiving break and wanted to see Sophie. We talked about it weeks ago.”
Shit.
“When do you go back home?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
Crap. Crap. Crap.
“Yeah, um, I don’t think this is going to work out. Sorry, Evan, honestly.”
“We’re already on our way,” Evan said. “It’s not like it takes her five hours to shower.”
“But we had plans,” I lied.
“And now you have new ones,” Evan sounded smug. “See you soon.”
The call disconnected and I put the phone down before I crushed it in my palm.
Nolan snickered in the doorway. “Shouldn’t have answered it, Cay-berry.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I braced my hands on my hips. “Now help me figure this out.”
“Me? You’re the one that lied,” Nolan chuckled. “You are so on your own for this.”
“Nolan!” I was tempted to punch him in the face. “I don’t know what to do!”
I think that was the first time I’d admitted that aloud to anyone but Sophie. I knew my words were only about dealing with Evan and the other guys, but they extended beyond that. I had no idea what I was doing when it came to everything.
Nolan crossed his arms over his chest and laughed heartily. “Oh, I love this. Caeden Williams doesn’t know what to do.”
“They’re going to be here any minute!” I was getting frantic now, which wasn’t like me at all. But I couldn’t have them finding Sophie passed out cold like this. They’d assume the worst. “They can’t see her like this!”
Nolan tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Tell them she got out of her shower and is taking a nap. She’s tired,” he shrugged.
“Do you think that’ll work?” It seemed too simple.
“I don’t know why not.”
I took a deep breath and nodded. “I’ll try that.”
The buzzer sounded that indicated someone at the gate wanti
ng inside.
I headed downstairs to check the video feed and when I was sure it was Evan and the rest of the guys, I pushed the button that allowed them access. I waited by the front door and greeted them warmly.
“It’s nice to see all of you. It’s been too long.”
“Where’s the she-wolf?” Brody asked, pushing his black hair out of his eyes.
“I’m sorry guys but I didn’t catch her in time. She’s not feeling well so she got in the bed after her shower and she’s passed out asleep.”
“Oh,” Evan sighed. “Well…”
I felt bad that they’d all come this far to see Sophie only to be disappointed. “You guys can wait as long as you want. She’s been taking really long naps so if you’re ready to leave and she’s still not up, feel free to just leave.”
Evan looked around at the rest of the guys. “Sounds good to us, as long as we aren’t imposing.”
“Not at all,” I closed the door behind them. “Can I get you anything to drink?”
They all barked out different things at the same time. “Uh…I’ll be back with that in a minute. Make yourself comfortable,” I pointed into the family room.
Nolan cornered me in the kitchen where I was placing all the drinks on a tray. “Dude, they were going to leave! Why’d you ask them to stay?”
“It was the nice thing to do,” I shrugged. “My mom and dad didn’t raise me to be rude to people,” I grumbled under my breath.
“It’s not being rude, it’s called being logical,” Nolan groaned at my stupidity. “You know,” he continued, “that’s your problem. You need to toughen up.”
Avenger (Outsider Series) Page 8