Nick’s jaw tightened. “I came to find you.”
“Oh.”
“Aren’t you happy to see me?”
No. Most definitely not. “I’m surprised.”
“But not happy?” he pushed.
“I don’t think happy is the word I would choose. Surprised. Confused. I thought I’d made my position pretty clear when I left.”
“Well, you weren’t answering any of my messages, so I decided we should talk in person. We have to sort this shit out, Ashley. You need to come back home. We can make this right again.”
I swallowed. “I don’t think we can, Nick. It can’t go back to how it was. I don’t think I can trust you anymore, and that wouldn’t be fair to either of us. It just wasn’t meant to be.”
“Bullshit,” he snarled.
I flinched. I wished I hadn’t because I didn’t want him to see how afraid I was of him, but I did. I took a step back, and he followed. I held my hand up. “Please don’t come any closer. You’re scaring me.”
He scowled at me. “I’m your fiancé.”
“Not anymore. I told you when I left that we were done. I gave your ring back. Nothing has changed for me. I don’t want to get back together. I don’t want to come back to New York. I want to stay here. My family needs me right now and—”
“I need you,” he hissed.
“Then you shouldn’t have cheated on me!” I snapped back. My own anger surprised me, but it had come out of me like a little explosion. Nick’s eyes narrowed, and I noticed his hands curl into fists at his sides. His knuckles went white. Standing my ground gave me a bit more confidence, so I stepped toward him. “You are the one who cost us our relationship, not me. You chose to cheat on me, over and over, and I deserve better than that. I’m not coming back to you. Not ever. So get back on that ferry and go home, Nick. We’re through.”
“You listen here,” he snarled, leaning toward me and jabbing a finger in my face. Beads of sweat had appeared on his forehead, and a vein was thickening in his neck. “I’m not through with you. You’re not calling this. You don’t get to walk away from me.”
“Watch me,” I growled back.
And then I turned on my heel and started marching back to my school. I could feel his eyes burning holes in my back as I went.
“You’re making a big mistake!” he yelled after me. People turned to watch me pass them on the sidewalk. I wondered what sort of story they would conjure up in their heads about the blonde girl and the handsome man yelling at her as she walked away. “You’re going to regret it! This isn’t over, Ashley!”
As soon as I was around the corner, I bolted. I couldn’t stop myself from running, and I peeled away, my feet aching in protest in my high heels. I ran until I reached the school, and then I stopped outside the doors to catch my breath.
I couldn’t handle the idea of ever having to see him again, especially when I was by myself. I just couldn’t. He’d scared the hell out of me, even though I’d managed to puff up my chest and put on a brave face. I never wanted to have to do it again.
Never.
18
Jesse
My father was sitting outside on the patio when I showed up at his house on Monday afternoon. He’d asked me to come by for a visit weeks ago, but I’d been putting it off over and over until finally, when he called this morning, I didn’t have any excuses left.
My dad and I had never gotten along all that well. I was the son who pushed the boundaries. I was the one who dabbled in drugs when I was a teenager, who smoked cigarettes, and brought home the kind of girls my father lifted his nose at. In retrospect, I could see his position, but at the time, he mishandled the whole thing.
But those were the petty issues. The ones that didn’t really matter.
The one that mattered was that when he was real good and angry, and Dean and Ethan weren’t around, his temper would get the better of him, and I would pay the price for it.
I’d never said a word to either of my brothers about it. When I was younger, I kept my mouth shut to protect Ethan. I figured if he ever found out about Dad, and Dad knew he knew, Ethan could become a punching bag as well. I didn’t want that. And Dean looked up to our father. He respected him. I didn’t want to be the one responsible for tarnishing his image of the man who raised him on his own.
So I avoided him. Like the plague.
And now, here I was, standing behind him as he sat at his patio table with his new woman whose name was lost on me. She was a good fifteen years younger than Anne, with a rack that couldn’t be real and botoxed lips to match.
“Hey, Dad,” I said, announcing myself.
He looked over his shoulder at me. “Jesse! It’s good to see you. Come sit.”
I sat. I already wanted to leave.
The woman gave me what must have been a smile—her lips barely moved due to all the filler—and held her hand out to me. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Lori, your father’s girlfriend.”
“Pleasure,” I said, shaking her hand. Her grip was weak and off-putting.
“I didn’t think you’d stop by,” my father said.
I leaned back in my chair. “Well, you invited me. And I said I’d be here. So here I am.”
My father’s eyebrows drew together. He was the one I earned my scowl from. “You can leave the attitude at the door, Jesse. I’m in no mood for it today.”
It was more than irritating when he talked to me like I was still a fifteen-year-old kid. The fact that I was a grown-ass twenty-nine-year-old man seemed to go right over his head. I bit down on my tongue to stop myself from saying something that would only dig the hole deeper.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” my father asked.
I opened my mouth and then closed it again. He was staring at me expectantly with his hands clasped in his lap. His tone was condescending, and his stare was one that was meant to intimidate me. It didn’t. Not anymore. I blew out an exasperated breath and slapped my knee before rising to my feet. “You know what? I don’t think this was a good idea. You two enjoy your afternoon. I’ll see you around.”
My father stood too. “Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“Jesse.” He followed me as I went to cut through the house. “What the hell has gotten into you?”
“Nothing, Dad. Just leave it alone, all right? You and I aren’t the sort to be able to sit outside and sip coffee and act like everything is fine. So, let’s stop pretending. Okay?”
“Pretending? Son.” He reached out and grabbed my arm. I wrenched myself out of his grip, and he let me go. “I want to have a relationship with you.”
“You should have thought of that years ago. I don’t want to hang around with you and your new—whatever Lori is to you. I don’t like what you did to Anne. I don’t like what you did to me. And I’m having a hard time seeing past it right now.”
My father frowned.
“I’ll see you around, Dad.”
***
After leaving my father’s place, I was in a foul mood. He had a way of bringing it out of me. When we were alone together, it just felt like everything was as it used to be, and he was still getting off on crushing me under his boot.
We had a long way to go before we were close to having a relationship.
I called Ashley to get my mind off things. She answered, sounding a little tense, and I heard her shut her classroom door to block out the noise of kids in the hallway.
“Hey, Ash. I’m in the area and was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner.”
“Yes, I would love that.”
“Why are there still kids there? It’s after five.”
“Drama kids. They’re working on a play, and they got locked out of the drama room. Lucky me. I have to watch them until five-thirty. Will that be okay?”
“Yeah. That’s probably when I’ll get there. See you soon.”
I already felt better just having talked to her for a couple of minutes. I parked my truck in the sch
ool parking lot and shot her a text to let her know I was there. I told her to take her time and not to rush. I wasn’t going anywhere.
She came out of the school just after five-thirty. She was dressed in high-waisted gray pants that followed the curve of her hips wonderfully. Blue high heels peeked out at the hem of the pants, and she was wearing a sheer blouse and a purple tank underneath. She looked cute as hell in her little teacher get up—and a little frazzled. Maybe she’d had a rough day. I knew better than most that teenagers had a way of sucking the life out of you. I’d been one of those kids, after all.
She opened the passenger door and climbed into the truck, already smiling. “Hey, Jesse. This was a pleasant surprise.”
“Yeah? Good. I was thinking about you and couldn’t help myself. Ever since that night on the beach.” I winked.
Ashley blushed. “It’s been hard not to think about it, I’ll admit.”
I reached over and put a hand on her knee as I reversed out of the parking lot. “What are you feeling? Seafood?”
“Sure.” She nodded.
And the decision was that easy. Twenty minutes later, we were at a table on a patio by the ocean. We were close enough to hear the waves rushing across the sand but far enough away to avoid the salt spray.
I watched Ashley across the table as she took the clip out of her hair and let it all tumble around her shoulders. My breath got caught in my throat as I sat in stunned silence by her beauty, which somehow always managed to surprise me. She ran her fingers through her hair and shook it out, and for the first time in a long time, left it down.
Then she sighed and scanned the menu.
She was holding a tightness in her shoulders, and there were creases in her forehead. She was worried about something, or she’d had a really shitty day.
“Everything all right, Ash?”
She glanced up at me, her eyes widening a little. “Sorry? Oh. Yes. I’m all right.”
“You sure? You don’t seem like yourself.”
She nodded. “I’m sure. It’s just the whole first day at a new school thing. It’s a bit overwhelming. And teenagers kind of suck, you know?”
I laughed. “I do know. I was one of the sucky ones.”
“You were not.”
“Was too. Dad hated me. Your mom could barely tolerate my shit. She thought I was a bad influence on you.”
Ashley grinned deviously and leaned across the table, holding the menu up to block our mouths from the rest of the customers. “You are a bad influence on me. We fucked on the beach the other night, for fuck sake.”
“Hey, you started that.”
Ashley shook her head at me, and we were cut off when the waitress came to take our orders. A few minutes later, we were sipping on white wine and waiting on our lobster dinners. I was the kind of guy who liked to spoil my ladies. And by ladies, I meant lady. There had only ever been one for me, and I knew she would never be entirely mine.
“So, I went and saw my dad today,” I told her after finishing half a glass of wine.
Her eyebrows lifted. “Really? I thought the two of you were kind of on the outs? Usually, you only see him at family events where there’s a buffer, right?”
“Very right. But he’d been asking me to come by for weeks, and I finally ran out of excuses and had to go. He introduced me to his new girlfriend. She’s a real catch.”
“Really?”
“No.” I chuckled. “And then he pulled his usual condescending shit, and I left. He tried to get me to stay, and I realized for the first time that he really believes he deserves to be forgiven for what he did to me growing up.”
Ashley’s mouth straightened into a firm line. She was the only person I’d ever said anything to about my dad sometimes getting physical with me, and I hadn’t told her when she was living in the house. She hadn’t known about it until a couple years ago. And even then, I hadn’t meant to say anything. I’d had a few too many drinks, and she was there, and the words just came out of me.
She sighed and played with the stem of her wine glass. “Do you want a relationship with him?”
“Not if he’s always going to treat me like I’m a thorn in his side.”
“Maybe you should tell him that.”
“Tell him what?” I asked.
“Tell him that the only way you’ll accept him back into your life is if he starts showing you some respect. I sorted things out with my mom because I was honest with her. There will always be a bit of a disconnect there, but that’s all right. At the end of the day, she’s my mom, and I want to have her in my life. I want her to know I love her. Do you want those same things with your dad?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Well, if you want my advice, you should figure that out. Because we don’t have our parents forever. And if you can forgive him, maybe you should try. So long as he knows what is keeping you from wanting him in your life. Tell him you never put the past behind you and how he treated you as a kid has weighed on you forever.”
“Maybe.”
“You don’t have to. Only if you want to.”
Conversation shifted away from my dad when our food came. We both pigged out, made a mess of our plates, and slumped back in our chairs when we’d stuffed our bellies to max capacity.
“Well,” I said as I patted my stomach. “I think I’d better get you back home. I have to head into the office for some work. Night shifts suck.”
Ashley stiffened in her chair.
“What’s up, Ash? Seriously?”
“Nothing.”
Clearly, something had happened, and whatever it was, she wasn’t ready to talk about it. I scratched the back of my neck and waited for her to look me in the eye. She wouldn’t. She looked everywhere else: other people’s plates, the floor, the ceiling, my shoes—anything that wasn’t me. “Ethan is back at the condo. I have to swing by there to change on my way to work. Want me to bring you by so you can spend some time with him?”
Her eyes met mine finally, and she nodded. “That would be nice.”
I didn’t say anything more about it, but I knew she was nervous to go home. And it was because of Nick. He’d made her safe space feel not so safe, and now she had nowhere to go that was free of him.
Except my place. And if that was what she needed, that was what she would have.
Ethan would be happy at least.
19
Ethan
The sun had set just a little over an hour ago, but the light out on the balcony shed enough light for me to stay outside reading my book. It wasn’t often that I had the house to myself, and when I did, I took full advantage of it. It was nice to have some time to read without Jesse rummaging around, making noise, or busting my ass for having my nose buried in a book.
At around nine o’clock, the front door slammed closed, and I heard voices coming from the kitchen. I dog-eared my page and tossed the book down on my chair before heading back inside.
Ashley was in the kitchen.
She looked like a sexy librarian in her teacher’s clothes, and her hair was down. I hadn’t seen her with her golden locks out of a ponytail or bun in years. Probably not since her graduation from college. Damn. The girl had a hell of a lot of hair.
She was leaning on the kitchen island, and I approached from behind. Her ass looked great in her pants, and I held off from giving it a slap. Instead, I rested my elbows on the counter beside her and gave her a cocky grin. “Evening, Ash. What brings you to our humble abode?”
“Well, Jesse took me out for dinner, and then he mentioned you were here, and I thought I’d pop by and say hello.”
I pressed my hand to my chest. “You came just to see little old me?”
Ashley giggled, and Jesse rolled his eyes. My brother paced to his bedroom where we could hear him going through his dresser to get changed for work. I nodded at the fridge. “Want a beer?”
“Sure,” Ashley said, pulling her purse strap over her head and setting the bag down on the counter
.
I brought her a cold beer and popped the tab for her. She lifted it to her mouth, and I found myself staring at her lower lip pressed to the bottom of the can as she drank. A small bead of beer trickled down the can when she lowered it. “You look good drinking a beer, girl,” I said.
Ashley bit her bottom lip.
“Don’t do that, woman,” I growled, turning away from her and walking to the other side of the kitchen island. “It’s maddening.”
“Sorry.” She blushed.
Jesse came out of his room dressed in black cargo pants, a black Under Armour shirt, and boots. He had a bag slung over his shoulder, and he gave Ashley a longing look before he went to the front door. “I’ll catch you later, Ash.”
“Okay. Thanks for dinner. Have a good shift.”
He winked at her before closing the door and leaving me alone with Ashley. I lifted my chin and checked her out. She rested her cheek on her shoulder, giving me a bashful look in return, and laughed when I didn’t stop looking her up and down.
“Quit it, Ethan.”
“I can’t help it.”
“Well, try harder.”
“Come on,” I said, tipping my head to the balcony. “Let’s go sit outside. It’s still nice and warm out there. Don’t forget your beer.”
Ashley joined me out on the balcony. I moved my book and offered her the chair I’d been sitting in before unfolding another that rested against the side of the balcony. I took a seat beside her as she crossed her legs. We tapped our beer cans together and drank.
It was easy to sit with Ashley. There was no obligation to talk. Sitting and thinking and enjoying her company was enough. But after a few minutes, I looked over at her. She was looking back at me.
“What’s up?” I asked.
Ashley shrugged.
“Come on, spill it. What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing,” she said. But her lips curled in a smile, and her cheeks went bright pink. So bright she almost glowed.
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