by Helen Gosney
“Dunno, Griff. I shouldn’t think so, but I’ll ask him when I see him next. In fact, if you go and get started on your packing, I’ll go and find Conor now. Is he still courting Violet d’Farrel?”
“Yes. Daft if he isn’t, I reckon. She and her sister are both lovely girls.”
“Don’t let Honi hear you saying things like that, laddie!”
Rowan ducked as Griff aimed a swat at his ears, laughed, and set off to find Conor.
**********
He ran him down, not at Violet’s house as he’d expected, but at the blacksmith’s, watching unhappily as a couple of dwarves examined the near hind hoof of a big chestnut mare.
“Hello, Conor. You’re not looking very happy today. Is something wrong with Copper?” he said, surprised at all of the bleak faces. Usually the dwarves were a jovial lot, and his young kinsman was rarely without a smile.
“Aye, Rowan. I think she’s got a… dammit! Stand still, lassie,” one of the dwarves said as the mare did her best to kick despite Conor’s firm grip on her bridle and reassuring words in her ears.
“Let me…” Rowan stroked the mare’s nose, calming her without thinking about it.
“Thanks, Rowan. Now, let’s have a proper look at this hoof, Copper. Ah, bugger it!”
“What is it, Jeldaron?” Conor asked anxiously.
“’Tis an abscess in her hoof, as we thought, laddie,” the dwarven Master Smith cursed some more as his assistant hurried off to get the necessary poultices and dressings, “We can fix it up for her, but she’ll not be fit to ride for a good while. Might need a special shoe for a bit, too.”
“But she’ll be all right? You’re sure?”
“Aye, Conor lad. She’ll be as right as rain, but you won’t be riding her in the bunny run,” Jeldaron glanced at his assistant and grinned suddenly, “We can lend you one of our ponies, if you’d like.”
The young forester stood at almost six foot nine. He stared at the dwarf in amazement and then his worried frown was replaced with a wry smile.
“Thanks for the kind offer, but I’d be doing as much running as the poor pony,” he said.
“We’ve got plenty of horses, Conor. I’m sure we can find one that’ll carry you without your feet scraping on the ground,” Rowan said amid the general laughter, “In fact, lad, I was wanting to see you about the run… hush, Copper, my sweet one, you’re all right. It might hurt for a bit, but then it’ll be better, I promise. Hush, now.” He turned his full attention back to the mare, which was moving uneasily as the dwarves did their best to drain the abscess without hurting her, and she stood quietly again under his soothing touch. “If you can hang on for a few minutes while I help here, I need to talk to you about it…”
“That’s all right, Rowan. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Good lad.”
**********
A little later, having settled the mare comfortably in her own stable, Rowan and Conor sat in the big kitchen of Conor’s family’s house drinking tea and eating some very nice ginger biscuits.
“Ah, that’s better,” Conor sighed, “Thanks for helping us, Rowan. I thought she’d be all right with just me, and she was for a while, but her poor hoof was worse than I’d thought.”
“’Tis no trouble, Conor. And she’ll be fine again in a couple of months. Don’t fret yourself.”
“I’ll try not to, but I probably will. But you said you wanted to see me about the bunny run? Are you and your friends wanting to go in it? There’s always room for more hunters, you know that.”
“Well, aye, I think Tadeus and Cris could likely be interested…”
“The old priest? Surely not!”
“Ha! That old priest used to be a trooper in another life, Conor, before the One got his hands on him, and he rides as well as I do. He’d give anyone around here a good run for their money, especially if he’s riding, say, Soot. Hmm, now, there’s a good idea…” Rowan paused as he thought about it, then continued, “But no, ‘twasn’t what I wanted to see you about, really. I’ve finally convinced Griff and Honi to go away for a bit of a break, and…” he saw Conor’s face fall, “Don’t fret, laddie. I didn’t realise at the time that he was set to be the bunny this year, and to be truthful it’d sort of slipped his mind too, but I can take his place, if ‘tis all right with you. I’ll ride Raven and show everyone how good he truly is.”
Conor’s face lit up in a happy grin.
“Would you? Oh, thanks, Rowan. Griff and Honi do deserve some time off, and I can’t begrudge them a nice little rest,” he said, his grin widening as he thought of something else, “And we might even have a chance to catch you this year, with all respect to Raven of course. He’s not as speedy as some of your horses though, is he?”
“No, he’s not, but I think he might surprise you when he’s only got me to carry, and not that great lump, Griff!”
“Maybe he will at that. Well, it’ll be interesting to find out, won’t it?”
“Aye, it certainly will.”
**********
10. “what might have been”
Rowan and Tadeus were walking around the paddocks together the day after Griff and Honi finally left on their trip. The old priest had changed from the plain grey robes of his Order when they’d left Den Siddon, and worn what he called ‘priests’ travelling garb’ – loose, comfortable trousers and jacket in the same plain grey fabric, far more suitable for riding and travelling than his usual attire. He’d worn the robes again at Den Sorl, but they hadn’t been seen since then and Rowan felt it was unlikely that they would be. He couldn’t imagine trying to do any real work in cumbersome robes, particularly around animals.
Tadeus loved horses and knew a lot about them, and he liked what he was seeing as they strolled along..
“And these are our current lot of foals… nearly six months old now,” Rowan said as the mares and foals crowded around him, as they always did.
“They’re a fine looking lot, Rowan,” Tadeus said as a pretty little dappled grey filly nibbled at his fingers, “You know, I once had the idea of doing something like this…”
“And what happened?”
“I heard the Call of the One, as they say.”
“Did you ever miss what might have been, Tadeus?”
The priest shrugged.
“No, not really. I was happy in the priesthood, even though I came to it so late,” he looked into the distance for a moment and sighed. He glanced back at Rowan, “But… but you and I both know that the One has gone now. Or the Many, if you’re of that persuasion.”
“I’m not of any persuasion, Tadeus, with no disrespect intended. Most foresters are pretty ambivalent about the whole business of Gods and so forth, and since Messton and…” Rowan hesitated, then continued doggedly, “… and what happened in Trill… and afterward… I just can’t convince myself to believe in anything much in the way of Gods.”
“Well, lad, that doesn’t surprise me at all. Doesn’t shock me, either.”
Rowan looked at him shrewdly.
“And what of you, Tadeus?”
“You don’t bloody miss much, do you? Rill said that you saw a lot more than most,” Tadeus smiled slightly and shook his head, “And let’s face it, if Rill noticed it, it must be true.”
“Aye, maybe! But you didn’t answer my question. If you’d rather not, just tell me to shut up and mind my own bloody business. Any of my kin would, though they’d likely put it a bit more politely than that.”
Tadeus laughed.
“So they would! But I… I’m torn, Rowan. When I could feel the Presence of the One, I felt like I was doing something important, doing something worthwhile, in His service, and I…” he shook his grey head, “… but now, to be absolutely truthful, it feels… pointless. Don’t tell the others I said that, will you?”
“Of course not. You know, that’s what the Gods, the One, whatever the hell it was that I found up there in the north… that’s what they said when they left. ‘It is all pointless�
��. I can still hear them say it.”
“Do you think it truly was the One, Rowan?”
Rowan shrugged and looked troubled for a moment.
“I honestly don’t know, my friend. It seemed like… like a single person and a whole multitude at the same time. Sounds bloody daft, doesn’t it, but ‘tis how it was. I’ve wondered since if I was more… certain of the Gods, if I’d have seen things differently. Perhaps you’d have only seen the One, and Brother Hess would have only seen the Many, if you’d been there… Maybe Moss or the dwarves would have seen something different again… I don’t know…” Rowan shrugged, and hesitated for a moment before continuing, “They said they were the ones ‘your kind thinks of as Gods’… but I think they meant all the folk of Yaarl, not just men. And they named themselves Arno Kren, Sheera Li, and all the rest. All I do know is that they were there, and now they’re not. They’ve truly gone, and all the troubles they caused have stopped.”
They said nothing for a while as they patted the mares and foals that clustered around them, and the cats Ollie and Scrap that sat on top of the fence beside them.
“I thought when I was old enough to retire, I’d just sort of… keep on for as long as I could, and then join the other poor old buggers in the infirmary…” Tadeus said quietly.
“I didn’t think priests ever retired. The ones here seem to just go on and on until they drop, or they’re too old and feeble to put one foot in front of the other.”
“Mmm, it is a bit like that. But no, we can and do retire if we feel the need to. And Rowan, being here, seeing what you and Griff are doing with the horses… it makes me think maybe I’m starting to feel that need.”
“You’d always be welcome here, Tadeus.”
“I have to go back to Gnash and see Hess, if he’s still with us. And I’ve got to do some damned hard thinking too, but thank you, Rowan. I truly do appreciate that.”
“The forest is a good place to think too, Tadeus,” Rowan said softly, “It’s full of life, but ‘tis the most peaceful and healing place I know.”
Tadeus looked at him in surprise.
“Healing?”
It seemed an odd word to use.
Rowan nodded slowly.
“Tadeus, I know ‘tis none of my damned business, but you devoted your life to the One and did His bidding, His work, as you saw it. You felt His Presence every day in the Tabernacle, every day for years. And then, suddenly, it was gone. You’ve lost something that was very precious to you, and ‘tis only natural to feel grief for that loss,” he hesitated for a moment, “I know how hard it is to lose something precious in your life. Why don’t you go and saddle Soot and take a ride in the trees? If you get lost, he’ll bring you back safely.”
“You’d let me ride Soot?”
“Why not? You’re a fine rider. I’d let you ride Mica too, but I know that he wouldn’t, the bugger. But Soot is just as good as Mica, Tadeus, and he loves to run in the forest. He hasn’t had a really good gallop for a while, with everyone away at the Trophy, and one thing and another, so he’ll be a bit feisty, but he’s well-mannered too. Nothing an old trooper like you can’t handle, I’m sure.”
The priest’s eyes lit up.
“I think I can probably manage,” he said, trying to stifle his sudden excitement. How long had it been since he’d ridden a fine horse like Soot? Too bloody long, he thought fiercely. “Will you and Mica come with us?”
“Aye, if you want us to… for a little way, at least. Then just let Soot take you where he will,” Rowan smiled at Tadeus, “He loves to run, but he’s good at just wandering along too, or standing about eating grass while you sit and watch the trees grow.”
“That sounds like the best damned offer I’ve had in years, laddie. Let’s go.”
**********
11. “He liked cedars”
A few days later, Cris and Rowan were busy weeding the vegetable garden while Tadeus had gone to visit his colleagues in the little Tabernacle in the town.
“Is this a weed, Rowan?”
“No, ‘tis a cauliflower. Weeds don’t have those sort of bluish leaves like that.”
“Oh. Sorry. What about this one, then?”
Rowan glanced at the sad little cluster of green leaves in Cris’ hand and tried not to sigh. Truly, he thought, I’d be better off with Umber and Boof helping me.
The dogs were laying in the shade with the cats beside them, all busily supervising the work, though Scrap was a bit inclined to become distracted from that by the dogs’ tempting, wagging tails. He was a born mischief-maker and sometimes he simply couldn’t seem to help himself. Luckily the dogs and the big ginger cat, Ollie, were patient with him, generally speaking. Occasionally, Ollie would recall that he had a fast right hook and wicked left cross combination that he hadn’t used for a while, and he wasn’t above demonstrating it - without using his claws, of course - on Scrap’s whiskers or ears to remind the little black cat to mind his manners.
“’Tis a carrot, Cris. See the tiny little orange bit on the bottom?”
“Bugger. I’m not really helping you much, am I?”
“I’m truly sorry to say it, Cris, but… no, you’re not. Not with the weeding, anyway, but perhaps you could get the watering can and water where we’ve been. And water those little trees over there too, please. Oh, and try not to drown the poor little buggers like Rill always does. Where is he, anyway?”
“Watching the creek flow past.”
“Ah, silly me. I should have known that.”
“Are we too much of a burden on you, Rowan?”
“No, of course not. You’ve been a big help with the horses, and I truly appreciate it, ‘tis just that you’re not much of a gardener, lad. Not much call for it in Gnash, I suppose.”
“Well, there probably was, but not for me. No, rats were more my thing. If your damned cats weren’t so bloody efficient, I could help them out. I saw little Scrap take on a rat that was as big as he is the other day.”
“Aye, he brought it inside to show me and he could barely drag the bloody thing along; of course he wouldn’t let Ollie or the dogs help him! But at least he knows how to kill them now, he used to bring little ones in at the garrison sometimes and the cursed things would get away from him. There’s probably a whole damned colony of them up on that first floor of the barracks by now.”
“Wish I’d known that when we were there for the Trophy.”
“Aye, they’d have paid you well, too. But as for rats, we seldom see them here. Let’s face it, with two cats and two dogs, you wouldn’t want to be seeing too many, even with all the hay and grain and stuff about the place.”
“No, I suppose not,” Cris said as he filled the watering can from a handy barrel. “Is that Tadeus coming back already? He doesn’t look too happy, does he?”
“No, he doesn’t…”
**********
Soot trotted up to Rowan and nuzzled at his hands. Rowan stroked his nose, gave him the tiny carrot that Cris had pulled up and glanced up at Tadeus. He was shocked to see the old priest sitting slumped, staring at nothing, his cheeks wet with tears.
“Tadeus? What’s wrong? Here, let me help you down, then come and sit on the verandah and I’ll get you a cup of tea. Cris, would you mind looking after Soot, please?”
Cris rejoined them a few minutes later, just as Rowan came through the door bearing a tray with mugs and a teapot. Tadeus seemed not to have moved at all, but sat in a wicker chair staring ahead of him, seeing nothing.
Cris and Rowan sat quietly for a few minutes as Tadeus sipped blindly at his tea. Finally he wiped his eyes, blew his nose, and turned to them.
“Brother Hess is dead. My old friend died about a month ago…” he said stonily, “It would have been about the time we left Den Sorl, I think.”
“But how do you know?” Rowan asked gently.
“I… I went to visit the brothers in the Tabernacle, and… well, you mightn’t know it, but there’s a lot of news that travels back and forth a
cross Yaarl via the priests of the One. And those of the other lot, too.”
Both men nodded. Very little escaped the notice of the Wirran Guard, and as Captain of Den Siddon Rowan had been aware of this; Cris knew because his horse, Bess, had been one of those that carried the priests of the One on their travels. Just as Tadeus’ gelding, Hazel, was.
“Anyway,” Tadeus continued, “They’d had news of one thing and another, and of various brothers who’d died, and somebody’d put in a note for them to tell me, if I came their way, that Brother Hess of the Many had died in Gnash. They said to tell me that he’d got my letters telling him about the Trophy and he’d… he’d died peacefully in his sleep a couple of days later…”
“I’m so sorry, Tadeus. I know he was a good friend to you,” Rowan said.
“I’m sorry too, Tadeus. He was a good man. Do you remember when you and he gave me the talismans when I left Gnash with Rowan and Rose? I’ve still got them, you know. I’ll miss him,” Cris added, wiping away a tear. The old priest had been a fixture in Gnash forever. It seemed inconceivable that he was gone.
Tadeus nodded sadly.
“I do remember that, Cris. He was a good man and a good friend. I’ll miss him too.”
They sat quietly on the verandah as the dogs and cats abandoned their shady tree and came to sit beside Rowan. Even the animals seemed subdued.
“What was Hess’s favourite tree, Tadeus, do you know?” Rowan said after a little while.
Tadeus looked up at him, bemused.
“His what?”
“Sorry, I sort of dropped that on you, didn’t I?” Rowan said, “’Tis just that… when a forester dies, their family, friends and kin plant a tree for them. I planted those two little Forest Giants over there when Zara and I were wed, but after she… after she died, I planted the cherry grove and a red rose for her. They were her favourites, you see, and I’d planned to plant them for her when we came home for the baby to be born. And I planted a white rose and an apple tree for little Liam,” he felt the old wounds in his heart break open again and blinked back tears, “The roses are just there, going mad over the verandah. They’ll probably take over one day. I… I thought we might plant a tree for Brother Hess in a few days, or whenever you might feel ready to. Only if you want to, of course.”