"No."
"Did she make you eat that terrible jelly roll she baked last week?" Garrett put his face down by her soft pink cheek. "I know . . . when you sleep she goes in your room and plays with your favorite dolls."
Hannah looked up, startled. She began to laugh. "Daddy!"
"Well, I’m just trying to figure out why you don’t like her."
"I don’t want her to be my mommy!" she blurted, all laughter wiped from her face. She hunched her shoulders again.
The breath stopped in his lungs. Shit! Garrett put his hand on her shoulder but she twisted sideways and clenched her small fists.
Garrett took several deep breaths, trying to figure out the fears in Hannah’s head. Finally, he rubbed the back of his neck. "No one will replace your mom," he said bluntly, "and as sad as it makes us, it was time for her to go to heaven."
"No!" She shook her head. "It wasn’t her time." Her voice went real low. "It wasn’t. It was all my fault." The tears suddenly fell on her cheeks. "Daddy, I made the car crash. It’s my fault Mommy died!"
Garrett felt such shock as he stared at the torment on his daughter's face. The dark look in her eyes would haunt him a long time. "No honey."
"I cried and cried because I didn’t want to leave you and Mommy said she’d take me back home, but the car crashed."
Garrett swallowed hard. "It wasn’t your fault. Sometimes adults make mistakes." He spoke gently but firmly, even though his guts were twisting up inside. "Why didn’t you tell me this before? We could have talked about it."
"I’ve been real bad and I always get into trouble, but not on purpose, Daddy. I thought if you knew, you wouldn’t want me anymore. I’m not really your little girl."
Garrett knelt at his daughter’s feet. "Let's get this straight. You are my girl and you always will be. I will love you forever and ever, no matter what." Gently, he tilted her chin. "No matter what," he added fiercely. "Do you understand?"
Watching him intently, she slowly nodded. Garrett touched a teardrop hanging on the end of her nose.
"As far as you not liking Christie," he said firmly, "it really has nothing to do with being disloyal to your mom’s memory. Someday I may decide to get married, but it won’t change how I love you." Garrett placed his palm over his heart. "This old heart of mine is big enough for you and a few others. Do you think I love Grandma and Randy?" he asked.
Wide-eyed, Hannah nodded.
"Well, I love Grandma and Randy and you. That’s three people I have room to love."
"What about Ruth and Sam and Bo Peep?" she demanded breathlessly.
Garrett began to smile. "Ruth and Sam and Bo Peep, too."
"And all your horses, Daddy. You love them too."
He squeezed her fingers gently. "That’s right. I’ve got a pretty big heart. Even though I love all those people and all the animals, I still love you."
Hannah squeezed his fingers fiercely. "I love you too, Daddy, forever and ever and always."
"There’s one more thing you should know, sweetheart." Garrett knew it was now or never. "The reason Christie came here was to find your mom. You see, she’s not here to try and take your mama’s place. Christie is your mom’s little sister. She’s your aunt."
Hannah took a moment to think that over. "Are you sure, Daddy? They don’t look at all alike."
He nodded. "I’m sure. She wanted to stay and get to know you. You see, she never knew about you until she came here."
"Just like we didn’t know about her." The wonderment in his daughter’s voice tightened Garrett’s throat.
"That’s right. So I guess it’s kind of like a gift, finding out you have an aunt."
"You’re pretty smart, Daddy."
Garrett laughed, not having expected that. "Let’s get going or Ruth will have our hides."
"I never had an aunt before, huh, Daddy?"
"No, you haven’t."
Hannah jumped to her feet and then ran up the back steps to the kitchen. At the door, she did a little dance and then planted her feet. The warning look she threw him was very adult. "Are you going to take your boots off?"
"I guess I’d better."
"You got mud on my pink shirt too, Daddy. Do you think Ruth will yell at you?" she added with barely suppressed glee. "This time you’re the one in trouble, not me."
"I might as well go inside and get it over with."
Hannah held the screen door partially open. As if they were co-conspirators, she peeked out at him and said in a stage whisper, "Hurry, Daddy. Ruth’s not in the kitchen."
"Says who, little missy?" demanded his housekeeper from somewhere beyond the kitchen.
Garrett looked at Hannah, hiding his grin. "Busted," he said, not minding at all. For the first time, he actually felt like he’d made some headway with his daughter.
###
"Randy, I don’t know why I let you talk me into coming down here!" Ally stepped back from the narrow creek and dabbed at her mud-crusted clothes. "It’s no use. I’m a mess."
Randy grinned. "You came because you find me irresistible."
"This shirt is ruined and I don’t know how I’ll get these jeans clean." She was determined to ignore the sizzle burning her stomach. She’d been crazy to come down here with him. Crazy, but oh so tempted.
"I’ll buy you another one."
Distractedly, Ally looked around the sun-dappled woods. "I’d better get back. Everyone will wonder where we are."
"Who cares?" Randy lazily played with the strands of fiery red hair resting on her shoulder. "Last time I knew we were both single."
Ally pushed wet hair off her forehead. "I care," she muttered. The twinkle in Randy’s appealing blue eyes was hard to ignore. "Damn you anyway. You really think you are irresistible." It wasn’t fair that one man could be so attractive. "I won’t be labeled one of Randy McIntyre’s women," she added tartly.
Randy clutched his chest dramatically. "Ouch. You really lay it on the line. I thought you cared about me."
"I do care about you, but Randy, you’re the type who’ll be a major heartache in any girl’s life. I had enough of that with my ex-husband. My next birthday I’ll be thirty three, seven years older than you. I’m not looking for just a date anymore." She rolled her eyes in good-natured exasperation at his puzzled frown. "Randy, we’re nothing alike. I’m not into the party scene."
His eyes grew serious and intent and Ally found it hard to look at him and not want him.
"I haven’t been into it for a while either. Give me a chance, Ally. You might find we’ll have a great time."
Ally swallowed the dryness in her throat, her resolve weakening. She’d never seen him so serious. The Randy she was used to always had a joke and a ready smile. "Randy, you’re a nice guy -- but you collect women like trophies." Darn! Her argument sounded like it was getting weaker.
"Not anymore."
"I’d have to think about." Was she crazy? Give him an inch he’d take a mile ...
Randy leaned close and dropped a kiss on her mouth.
Ally stared at his face so close, his expression very, very serious. Almost against her will she leaned forward for another kiss. As she touched his mouth Ally found she liked it too much. She was suddenly full of heat and wanting. Ally pulled back. With despair, she watched the flecks in Randy’s eyes deepen and the funny, squirmy feeling in her stomach intensified.
"I’m not into casual," she said. "Everything about you is casual." Resisting the urge to touch her burning lips, she took several steps back the way they’d come.
"I can change," he said.
Ally sent him a doubtful look over her shoulder. "I’m interested in someone who’ll be around for the long haul. I plan on having kids and my own small farm." She stared at him with a jaded eye. "You’ve never struck me as a nine-to-five guy. Kind of like putting a round peg in a square hole." On the up side, she found him sexy and so much fun, but that she kept to herself.
"Sounds like you want boring." His mouth turned down.
> "Look at your brother. He’s steady but no woman would ever say he’s boring."
"Maybe you need my brother."
"Garrett and I are friends."
"I know." A cleft came and went in his cheek. "But I couldn’t resist teasing you."
Ally rolled her eyes and started laughing. With a small amount of despair, she wondered what drew her to this man.
At the base of a steep incline, Randy held out his hand. She looked at it, square, the fingers blunt and strong. Ally slipped hers into it and felt an unfamiliar sense of inevitability and comfort ... excitement and coming home. Crazy.
"My mother always said men and cats don’t change their stripes."
"Maybe you should ignore your mother’s bit of wisdom this time around."
She moved closer and tilted her head back to Randy. Tentatively, she touched his cheek with her palm. "Sometimes temptation is hard to ignore." Despite all wisdom to the contrary, Ally wanted something more than her dull, safe life. So when Randy lowered his head slowly to her, she met him half way, knowing he would provide just what she needed in that moment. As for the future, she had no idea.
###
When Christie walked outside the barn early the next morning she saw Hannah sitting in her tire swing slowly swinging back and forth. When Hannah spotted her she left the swing and came toward her.
Christie braced herself. She’d seen Hannah’s face the other night when Garrett had kissed her. The child had not been happy. She put down the rubber water buckets she’d carried outside and began to scrub them with a brush.
Aware that Hannah stopped just behind her, Christie turned sideways and directed a glance at the child, with a small smile. "Hi. You’re up early."
"Daddy said I got up before the birds this morning." Hannah pushed back the powder blue hood of her jacket. "We had breakfast together. I saved you a donut." She pulled a slightly crumbled doughnut in a plastic bag from her jacket pocket.
Surprised, Christie stopped scrubbing. "How did you know chocolate is my favorite?"
"You always eat chocolate."
"That’s nice of you to save me one. I’ll eat it when I finish my chores." Christie bit her lip indecisively, wondering if she dared extend the hand of friendship one step further. "You’ll never guess who’s been visiting my place."
Hannah looked inquisitive. Interestingly, Christie didn’t sense any of the earlier hostility. "Your cat Albert."
"But how did he get in?" Hannah asked with delight.
Christie thought about dodging that question, then decided against it. She squatted down on her heels. "It’s a long story, but I leave my door open. I think Albert caught the scent of a snack I was cooking and he came to visit. He’s been stopping by all week. He’s quite made himself at home."
Hannah played with the zipper on her jacket. "Maybe I could see him sometime," she said.
"Sure." Feeling elated at Hannah’s apparent turnaround, Christie continued to scrub the buckets. "I bet he’d like that."
After a long silence, Hannah asked hesitantly, "Why do you leave your door open?"
Christie’s hands stilled. She looked into inquisitive eyes. "Do you have a night light in your room?" she asked.
"It’s an old one. I used to be afraid of the dark."
"Well, leaving my door open is like a night light for me. It’s my security. If I want to leave, I can walk out that door anytime." Christie looked around, but they were alone. "I’m afraid of being stuck inside," she admitted in a low voice. "When I was small I used to hide in a closet with my sister Ellen."
"Weren’t you afraid?"
"Yes. But I was more frightened of what was outside the closet." She stood up, needing to move around.
"Were you afraid of monsters?"
Christie hedged around the truth. "Yes, I was afraid of monsters. Now that I’m older I know there are no monsters, but I still like to have the door open."
"I used to be afraid, but Daddy made the monsters go away."
She smiled at Hannah. "That’s what the best dads do."
"Did your dad make the monsters go away?"
Christie couldn’t tell her that he was the monster they hid from in the closet. "All good dads chase them off."
"Daddy says he doesn’t know much about girls."
"He knows how to love you. My parents didn’t know how to care about each other, or about my sister and me. Your dad’s way ahead of the game."
"My mom said if you depend on yourself, you’ll never be disappointed."
Christie thought how sad that sounded. "Sometimes it’s okay to let others help you and care about you."
Hannah tilted her head to the side. "Daddy said Mommy was your sister."
It took Christie a moment to realize what she’d said. Her heart beat loudly in her chest. "Yes. I was younger than you when your mom left home. I never really knew her."
"That’s sad," Hannah said. "That you never knew Mommy and she was your sister."
The tightness in Christie’s chest wanted to break loose. She picked up the buckets and moved back into the barn. "Now I have to get back to work."
"I’m going to read a book," Hannah said, falling into step behind her. She detoured into the office as Christie entered each stall and snapped the buckets back in place.
When Christie walked by with a new collection of buckets, she saw Hannah rifling through several books in Garrett’s desk by the tack room door. Another facet of Garrett revealed. He kept books on hand for his daughter.
Christie stopped in the doorway. "Won’t your dad be wondering where you are?"
"The rule is I can be in the barn or by the house, so Daddy will know where I am. I’m going to read in my favorite place." Hannah looked at her with bright eyes. "Come on, I’ll show you." Hesitantly, she reached out her hand toward Christie. Christie put down her buckets and grasped the small hand. They walked down the barn aisle to an open doorway on the left. She kept waiting for the bubble to burst, but Hannah kept reaching out to her.
Christie flicked the light switch and looked inside the room at the bales of golden straw. "I love the way this room smells. This is a perfect place to read!" she declared, bringing a smile to Hannah's face. The child settled on a broken bale of straw. With her blond hair all wispy around her face, she looked adorable and so young.
"You can read with me," Hannah said quietly. "If you want to."
Christie felt an actual pain, recalling the times she’d curled up on the couch with Eric and read his favorite book.
"Well," Christie said cautiously, "only for a few minutes. I have a few chores to finish."
Christie sat beside Hannah. Wriggling around a bit, she extracted a piece of straw from where it had worked its way under her shirt.
Hannah became engrossed in the story, and Christie enjoyed just spending time with her. At one point she looked up to find Garrett standing in the doorway. She snuck a look at her watch upon seeing the stern expression on his face.
"Hannah, I’ve been looking for you," he said quietly, his sharp glance seeming to see everything. "I’ve been calling." Self-consciously, Christie straightened her legs. Unbidden, thoughts of their last, brief kiss came to mind. A rush of emotion flared, causing butterflies to flit through her stomach. When she stared at Garrett and saw the hint of color on his cheekbones, her stomach started a wild fluttering. She wondered if he was remembering too.
"I didn’t hear you, Daddy. Me and Christie were reading. You said I could read while I waited for you."
"I thought you meant in the house." Garrett turned his head toward Christie. "Good morning, Christie," His mouth curved. "You've got straw in your hair."
"Oh." Christie ran her fingers through her hair. She allowed her glance to linger on him, a melting deep in her chest. He looked so big standing in the doorway. Hannah left her side and moved to her father’s side. Garrett stood with a hand on his daughter's shoulder as Hannah showed him the books they were reading. Garrett was good with kids, he was the type of man
who should have several more.
He wore a lightweight camel-colored corduroy jacket, a deep green shirt with thin black stripes and black jeans. Droplets of water spotted his cowboy hat and shoulders.
He was an attractive man, a cowgirl’s dream. And a city girl’s dream, a wicked voice whispered to Christie. "It’s raining!" Christie blurted, stating the obvious.
Garrett casually ruffled his daughter’s hair. "It just began. The weather forecast says it’s only supposed to shower this morning. Would you like to ride to town? I can show you around. I can show you where Judith is buried, if you like."
"Sure," she said, caught by surprise. "I would like that."
He gave her a measured look. "If you’d like my help, maybe together we can find a place for your sister’s ashes."
Garrett removed his hat and shook the water droplets from it. "I know this area like the back of my hand. I’m sure we can find somewhere suitable for what you’re looking for."
"Then I accept your offer. Thank you," she added softly. The rational part of her brain pointed out he might be anxious to see the last of her. The romantic part of her said he just might want to spend time with her.
Christie brushed loose bits of straw from her jeans. "I can leave when Ally gets in to work. I told her I’d fill in for an hour."
He smiled. "She’s at the house getting some coffee. I think she had a late night. She’s kind of out of sorts today."
"Okay, then I guess we can leave any time." Christie walked toward Garrett and Hannah, then went down on one knee to brush the straw from Hannah's jeans.
"There’s straw in your hair," Hannah said with a giggle, pointing a finger up at her.
###
Garrett watched Christie bend over and shake her hair out, then finger comb the dark strands. Her hair flowed forward, exposing the nape of her neck and the wispy, baby fine hairs. Garrett wondered when he had ever been so tempted to take something he wanted. This gentle woman with the sad dark eyes. He found himself intrigued by her. He wasn’t anxious for her to leave, yet he knew it was inevitable.
Echoes From The Past (Women of Character) Page 14