by Kira Ward
“It was less than a month before we were supposed to go home. We were on patrol outside the city. We knew there was insurgent activity in the area, but we’d been there long enough that we’d gotten kind of cocky. We thought we could tell when there was danger around and when there wasn’t. It was stupid.”
“You don’t have to…” I touched his face lightly, making him focus on me. “You don’t have to tell me.”
“I want to.” He touched my bottom lip lightly. “I want you to know what kind of a man I am.”
“I already know.”
He kissed me, a long, slow kiss that was so sweet I could feel it in my toes. I curled into him, sliding my leg up over his hip, loving the way our bodies fit together. Standing, he was so much taller than me, but lying like this we fit together like our bodies were meant for one another. Like puzzle pieces cut just perfectly.
“I could tell you just about anything now, and you’d believe me, wouldn’t you?” he asked.
“Maybe.”
“You’re so young. Too innocent.”
“Like you’re so old. What are you, twenty-five?”
“Twenty-seven.”
“Only six years old than me.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve lived a hell of a lot more than you.”
I traced my finger over the initials on his chest. “You must have seen a lot over there.”
“I saw my friend blown into dozens of pieces right in front of me. And my other friend nearly lose his leg.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It was my fault. I was supposed to be watching over them. Instead, I was joking around with a couple of the other guys on our team. Like we were walking the streets of Houston instead of Kandahar.”
“It’s not your fault. It was the men there who set the bomb or mine or whatever.”
He shook his head. “I promised.”
“You’re only human. You can only do so much.”
He tried to shake his head again, but I took it between both my hands and forced him to look at me. “Listen to me, Major. It could have just as easily been you. And it could be your friend sitting here feeling guilty and your girl mourning you instead of her brother.”
“But it wasn’t.”
“No, it wasn’t. And it’s tragic. No one should die like that. But that’s the reality of war. And your friend knew what he was getting into when he went over there. So did his sister. If she blames you, that’s her fault, not yours. And it’s her loss because she could be here with you, both of you grieving together. But she isn’t and that’s her choice, not because of something you did or didn’t do.”
He stared at me for a minute, almost like he couldn’t believe what I was saying. And then he moved into me, kissing me again.
“You’re really something.”
I rolled over, pulling his arms around me as I did. “Don’t forget it,” I said.
I wiggled my hips a little, pressing my ass back against his cock. I could feel it growing even as his hand moved down my belly, his fingers sliding along the top edge of my outer lips. He kissed my neck as his fingertip found the round swelling of my clit.
“You drive me crazy,” he whispered against my ear.
“You’re all I’ve been able to think about for weeks.”
“Yeah? Join the club.”
He grasped my thigh, pulled my leg back over his and then he slid carefully inside of me. His cock felt so good inside of me and that angle, made him press against things that had yet to be touched, the bottom of his tool nudging nicely against my clit. He didn’t move at first, just contented himself by kissing my shoulder and playing with my breasts. When he twisted my nipple between his fingers I wanted to scream. Instead, I wiggled my ass against him, creating just enough friction that my clit began to ache with that familiar need.
“You feel so good,” he whispered against my neck. “I just want to lie like this for the rest of my life.”
“That might become a little inconvenient for your other girlfriends.”
“I don’t think I’ll have time for others.”
Was it stupid that those words made my heart soar?
And then he began to move, and all thought just disappeared. All there was was the pleasure, the need that grew and expanded until it had nowhere left to go. There was just him and I and an orgasm that seemed to go on forever.
I didn’t want it to end, either. Was it possible to fall in love after just a short time? Or was it just the amazing sex that had me walking on clouds?
But then it was suddenly over, and he was cursing under his breath.
“Babe,” he said in a tone of voice I had yet to hear from him, “tell me you’re on some sort of birth control.”
And that’s when the clouds crashed back to Earth.
“Why?”
“I forgot the fucking condom. And I don’t think we used anything the other night.”
I just kind of nodded. I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t even thought about it until now. I guess I should have, but there was so much going on that it never crossed my mind.
Obviously, it hadn’t crossed his mind, either.
“If something comes of it, tell me. I’ll take care of it.”
Very honorable.
I suddenly felt like I was walking a very familiar path. And I wasn’t sure what to do about it.
I was distracted the following night as I sat down for dinner across from my dad at Sandaval’s. I don’t think he noticed, though. He clearly had something on his mind.
“You like your apartment?” he asked.
I nodded. I wondered what he would think if he knew I didn’t sleep there last night. Or that I wouldn’t be sleeping there again that night. I wondered if he would care at all.
“You look good, Sloane. Happy.”
I shrugged. “I like my job.”
“That’s good. They’re treating you well there?”
“As well as any other junior editor.”
“Good.”
He poured himself a glass of wine from the bottle the waiter had left at our table and sipped at it like it was honey, he a desperate bee. He seemed more nervous tonight than he usually was. My dad…we had spent time together. But it was usually in a car on the way to school or on the way home. We rarely spent more than twenty minutes in each other’s company and when we did, I usually spent that time with his personal assistant because we were at his office and he was on the phone. He didn’t know what to do with me. I think I made him nervous. My mom often put it down to the fact that he had very little experience with children, but nothing had changed as I entered adulthood.
I was pretty sure it was just me.
“How are things at the firm?”
He focused on me as though he’d just noticed I was there. “Fine,” he said, the word echoing around the wine glass as he went to take another sip.
“I have a friend whose best friend is a junior associate with a law firm. He complains about how many hours they work him—”
“I’m thinking of asking your mother to marry me,” he interrupted.
I coughed. I think I was choking on my own spit. What the hell did he mean—
“What the hell do you mean?”
“Just what I said.” He set the wine glass down and studied my face for a minute. “Do you think she’d say yes?”
“After everything you put her through, you’re going to ask her to marry you? Do you know how long she waited for that? She thought…” My words died as the realization of what he was saying finally sank in. “It was me, wasn’t it?”
“What?”
“All these years. You wouldn’t marry her because of me. Because I was there and having a kid would make things messy.”
“Sloane…”
“Do you know how often I listened to her cry? How many times I watched her drag around the house because you came around and made her think that things were finally going to work out, that you were finally going to stay, and then you walked out again? An
d now, after I’ve moved out, you’re finally going to do it?”
He was quiet for a minute, watching me over steepled fingers. And then he said, “I think you’re old enough now to understand the choices we made. When your mother got pregnant, we’d only been seeing each other for a short time. I asked her to make a choice, and she chose you.”
“You didn’t want me?”
“I didn’t. But she did.”
Hot tears flooded my eyes. I stood up and blindly turned. My father was right behind me. He grabbed my wrist, made me turn into him.
“You don’t understand. I was too focused on my career, focused on a life that didn’t include a wife and kids. Your mother knew that when she first began dating me. It was her choice—”
“But you’re my dad. You’re supposed to want me.”
“It doesn’t work that way, Sloane. Not all people are meant to be parents. The smart ones are the ones who admit that to themselves.”
I jerked free of him and walked out. To think that I’d been so worried about him seeing the scratches on my car. To think that I cared what he thought of me, or of where I should live. I don’t think he cared enough about me to even notice. If not for my mom…
I just needed to get away from there, to go somewhere where I could breath. The only place I could think of, the only place I honestly wanted to go was to Major’s.
He was waiting for me.
He didn’t say a word when I barged into his apartment, when I took his hand and led the way to the bedroom. He didn’t ask when I began to cry. He just held me and took away my need to think. And I was so grateful for that.
Chapter 19
Major
I watched her sleep. I should have been sleeping myself. I had a meeting in the morning about a new project I sought out a week ago, but wasn’t sure I wanted now. I wasn’t sure I wanted to get involved in something new, something that would take my attention away from her. I didn’t really want to sleep. I mean, I hadn’t slept as well as I did with her in the bed beside me. But I loved to watch her, loved to see her dreams playing out over her face.
My mom called that morning. She said she could hear something different in my voice. Something more like the old Major, she said. I kind of liked that.
I wondered what Sloane would think if I introduced her to my mom. What she would think if she knew the truth about me. It’d been a long time since I’d even considered introducing someone to my mom, to my family legacy. Not since Anna. But I never got the chance.
Jack knew. But no one else, no one in this part of town, no one who knew me as Major Rutherford, the architect, knew who I really was. Wouldn’t my clients be shocked to realize who they were doing business with?
I wondered what Sloane would think. Would it matter to her? Would she be impressed, intimidated? Or would she see dollar signs? I wasn’t sure. But soon. Soon I’d tell her. And then we’d see how things change.
If they did.
Chapter 20
Sloane
I settled down on the couch beside Major, snuggling into the side of his body as much out of habit than anything else. My stomach was unhappy despite the fact that the dinner he’d made us—roast beef and red potatoes—went down quite well. I think it was the wine. I set the glass down and lay my head against Major’s shoulder. It might also have been that I could hardly keep my eyes open. Major and I had been together for almost a month now and most nights…well, we didn’t get much sleep. I guess it was finally catching up to me.
“Didn’t Major tell me your dad was a lawyer, Sloane?”
I looked over at Jack. He was a nice enough guy, but I wasn’t sure he liked me all that much. He just showed up a couple of weeks prior and was clearly surprised to find me lounging in the couch. And when he showed up again that night, it was pretty obvious he’d been hoping Major would be alone and willing to go out to the clubs with him. An evening in wasn’t really what he’d been looking for.
“He is,” I said, not really in much of a mood to talk about my dad.
I hadn’t seen him since our ill-fated dinner the past month. But my mom was constantly calling me and talking about wedding plans, trying to get me involved. I just couldn’t get up the enthusiasm. Who wanted to be a part of something that should have happened twenty years ago and would have if not for my mom’s decision to go through with her pregnancy?
With me.
My dad had never wanted me and he made that pretty clear at our last meeting. That’s why he played with my mom’s heart all those years, why he turned her into a woman whose happiness centered on the whims of a man who couldn’t decide what it was he wanted out of life. And now he wanted to marry her. Finally. But how long would that last? And who would be there to pick up the pieces when he decided marriage just wasn’t his thing?
No. I didn’t really want to talk about my dad.
“What firm?” Jack asked.
I tensed a little and I think Major felt it. He slid his arm around me and leaned close, his lips brushing my temple.
“Why don’t you go lay down?”
Our eyes connected, and I just wanted to melt into them as I had since the moment we met. There was just something about him that made me feel like nothing bad could happen when we were together. I kissed him, a soft, heartbreaking kiss, then slipped away, aware of both Major’s and Jack’s eyes on me as I disappeared behind the bedroom door.
I slowly undressed, thinking how far things had come in such a short time. A month ago, I was a silly girl who’d just graduated college and moved out on her own for the first time. My first apartment, my first real job—a dream job that was easier and more difficult than I expected all at the same time—my first steps into independence. And then as I tried to sleep that first night, my neighbor brought home a young woman and the noises they made…I wasn’t a prude. But the images those noises brought to mind were beyond my experience.
That was my introduction to Major.
I thought he keyed my car in retaliation for calling the building manager on him for the nightly noise disturbances. Even called the police on him. But it turned out it was my best friend—the one person I should have been able to trust above all else—who vandalized my new car. So, in the course of a week, I lost my best friend, learned my dad had never wanted me, and began a relationship that was so much more than I’d ever imagined.
A part of me was selfish enough to wish that Jack wasn’t here, that he’d leave us alone. I wanted Major with me, helping me forget how miserable the world was outside of those four walls. Instead, I contented myself by crawling naked into his bed, his lingering scent surrounding me. I pulled his pillow against my chest and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep almost instantly.
Chapter 21
Major
“The two of you spend a lot of time together.”
I turned back around after watching Sloane disappear behind the bedroom door. Jack was sitting on the fireplace hearth, his hands on his knees and his eyes on the floor.
“She’s my girl,” I said. And it felt good on my tongue. I hadn’t really put a definition on my relationship with Sloane until that moment, but it felt good.
Jack tilted his head as he looked up at me. “You haven’t been steady with a girl since Anna.”
“I know.”
Anna and I had spoken more through letters than anything else, but up until that point in my life I’d never felt closer to another human being. And I needed it. My father died when I was a teen, and I became reckless, doing things that left my mom and the courts at their wits end as to what to do with me. That’s how I ended up going into the military. It was either that or jail. In boot camp, I made friends like I’d never had before and met Anna. And it changed my life. But then Anna’s brother died, and I felt responsible for the longest time. Even told Anna it was my fault. She couldn’t look at me after that. I thought my life ended the day she walked away from me. But now? I knew it was war that killed my buddy. And I knew it wasn’t my fault. Sloane
helped me see that. It was like a huge burden lifted from my shoulders. For the first time ever I felt optimistic about the future. And that was huge.
“It’s kind of odd since this is the same girl who called the cops on you.”
“That was just a misunderstanding.”
“A pretty serious misunderstanding.”
I sat back and picked up the glass Sloane had abandoned, taking a sip of the rich, smoky red wine. Jack watched me, his eyes darkened with concern.
Jack was one of my oldest friends. We met in primary school and were inseparable all through middle school and high school. He even joined the Navy with me. He’d seen me fall apart after the death of my father, was aware of the grief that drove me to go back to Afghanistan for a second tour. He knew all my secrets. Knew all the mistakes I’d made in my life. The fact that he was concerned was touching but unfounded.
“We worked it out, Jack. It wasn’t really that big of a deal.”
“I was here when the cops came, in case you forgot.”
“I haven’t forgotten.”
“If not for your military service, those cops might have arrested you then and there.”
“But they didn’t. And Sloane found out who was really behind the vandalism.”
“Is she hadn’t? Would the cops have come back?”
“I don’t think so.” I took another sip of the wine. “She only called the police for the insurance.”
Jack stood up, his eyes moving to the closed bedroom door.
“I just don’t want to see you get yourself in trouble over a girl again.”
“I’m a big boy, Jack. I know what I’m doing.”
“I’ve heard that before.” He turned and took a seat beside me on the couch. “Your mom still calls me once a week. Did you know that?”
I hadn’t known that. I glanced at him, not sure if I should be angry or what. I knew my mom used to call him frequently when I first left the Navy. I knew she worried when I wouldn’t call her, wouldn’t drive out to see her. But things had changed. I made a point of contacting her at least once a week. She had no reason to worry about me anymore.