Liam’s end of the phone was picking up closing doors and quick footfalls. He was looking for her and the way her heart sped up at just the thought of seeing him had Joan blinking back tears.
“Your constant denial and the fact that you’re hiding from me proves that you know I’m right.”
“I know that I don’t really matter to you. I know that my feelings don’t matter to you because you don’t care that I’m dying right now. Inside I feel like I’m hollow and just… lost. Liam, you take what you want from me but you give nothing of yourself.”
It was quiet on his end. No more footsteps. She couldn’t even hear him breathing and the silence cut like a dull blade through the last of her patience.
“I will meet you at the altar. You’ll say no and call off the wedding. After that I want you to leave me the hell alone. You’ve done enough damage.”
***
Joan ended the call but he could still hear her since he was standing just outside the bathroom where Evelyn was blocking the door. She was crying. No, not just crying she was sobbing, and it was his fault.
“Let me through, Evelyn. She needs me.”
“She doesn’t need you to go in there and seduce her, Liam. She needs you to show her that you love her. Do something. You have to stop being so afraid to open up to her because you could lose her.”
Liam loosened his tie as he paced in front of Evelyn. Hearing Joan cry gave him the same helpless feeling he’d had when his mom died, when Cole wasn’t breathing. Liam couldn’t bear for her to hurt like she was and to know it was he who broke her.
“I’m open. I love her. I tried to tell her. She wouldn’t listen to me.”
“It’s easy to say. Well, for most people it is, you’re an exception. Show her.”
“I have. I’ve paid for all of her clothing, jewelry, this wedding, let her use my jet and have her bachelorette on my dime too.”
Evelyn stepped away from the door taking hold of his arm and leading him several paces away from the bathroom. “That’s just money. It’s not like you sacrificed or made any grand gesture. You’ve taken the easy safe roads.”
Liam clenched his fists. “How else am I to show her? It’s not like I’ve been shown another way.”
Evelyn raised her blonde brows at him. “Are you kidding me? Just think about it. You’ve got a lot of people in your life that love you and they don’t just shower you with gifts and money. They show their love in other ways.”
“I need an example, Evelyn. Look at me I’m ready to rip off my arm if it’ll show Joan I love her. Just—”
“Okay.” Evelyn squeezed his shoulders. “Didn’t you just go through all this to save your dad from his crap deal with Crenshaw?”
Liam nodded. “I did but that’s not a sacrifice.”
“Yes it is.” Evelyn insisted.
“I got to be with Joan through this whole thing and I was saved from putting Crenshaw’s crooked deal around my neck like a noose because of all that’s happened. Holding onto Joan to save my dad is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Evelyn was giving him sad eyes that matched her sad smile. “You idiot, why couldn’t you have said that to Joan?”
“You just said I need to show her not tell her.”
Evelyn nodded wagging her long pointer finger at him. “And you know what? You’re going to do both.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Evelyn’s traveling beauty crew were ushered into the bathroom with Joan so that no one else would see her swollen, bloodshot eyes. Joan sniffed as Marci pushed her down into the chair they’d rolled into the oversized bathroom.
“Listen, babe,” Marci said pushing the back of the chair into a reclining position and locking it in place. Joan was looking at her upside down through the tears still blurring her vision. “Whatever he did to make you cry like this is gonna cost him. Okay? You’re going to stop crying and let me and Heather work our magic.”
Joan nodded as another fat tear rolled down her face. “I’m trying to stop.”
“When you walk down the aisle with your family and friends all watching you, with Liam watching you, I know you don’t want them to be looking at a sobbing mess. Do you?”
“No, I don’t want that.” Joan wiped at the tears that were building again.
Marci nodded. “No you sure as hell don’t. You’re going to be the strong beautiful woman we all know you to be. Right?”
“Okay.” Joan agreed trying again to swallow the achy lump in her throat.
“Marci, Heather, give me a sec with the bride. Okay?” Evelyn asked and the two women stepped out of the bathroom.
Joan grabbed a wad of toilet paper and dabbed at her eyes before blowing her nose, loudly.
“Joan, you listen to me, okay? You’re going to stop crying and pull this together because you’re the best thing that has ever happened to Liam. When you walk down the aisle you have to show him how bad he’s fucked up not being the man you deserve. You’ll kick yourself later if you cry like this in front of him.”
“Ugh, Evelyn. Not when you put it like that.”
Evelyn smiled. “Good. So every time you start getting weepy think about revenge or whatever I said that makes you determined not to cry.”
Joan took hold of that silence Liam gave her when she’d poured her soul out to him and wrapped the cold angry feeling around herself like an invisible layer of ice.
When Heather and Marci came back in they got to work. Marci covered Joan’s face with gel ice packs so that only her mouth remained uncovered.
Heather got back to work with her body buffing and polishing until her every inch was smooth. Marci took the ice packs from her face and got to work with the makeup, at least it appeared that was what she was doing, Joan still couldn’t feel her face to be sure.
Evelyn talked at a breakneck pace walking Joan through what she was to do, where she could exit afterward, and how her family and friends were going to be cared for and accommodated.
Joan felt like she had a pretty good grip on her emotions, but when she returned to the big room where everyone was getting ready, she felt the ice shift around her heart.
Her mom’s hair that turned white soon after Kenna was diagnosed, was dyed the same rich chocolate brown color it’d been when Joan was just a girl.
“You look so young, Mom.” Joan gasped as her mom approached wearing a dress that was the same amazing shade of aqua teal blue as her eyes. The fit was perfect. She wore a jacket the same shade with a three-quarter sleeve and the uneven hem of the dress a modern twist on an elegant classic.
“I know.” She smiled. “Your dad isn’t going to recognize me.”
Mae and Amanda came over when they saw that Joan was back and they too were the picture of modern, elegance, and beauty. Their dresses were similar to Joan’s mom’s but longer and the shades of their dresses were different. Amanda was in a dark teal where Mae’s dress was a lighter shade, more like a Tiffany blue.
“Your hair is amazing.” Mae squealed. “You look like a freaking royal princess right now.”
“You do.” Amanda and Joan’s mom agreed in unison.
Fran rushed up clapping her hands. “I’m so glad I didn’t miss it. You’re about to put on your wedding dress, right?” Fran was wearing a beautiful dress in a similar fashion to Joan’s mom. The color resembled a dark teal or rather Aegean blue.
“You all look so beautiful.” Joan smiled.
Evelyn reached around Joan and untied the robe. “They are. Everyone looks divine,” she said as she took Joan’s robe leaving her in a thin slip and her bra and panties. “Step in,” Evelyn said as she helped the seamstress hold the wedding gown.
Oh great. I can’t even remember what I picked.
“Brooke and I met with the seamstress and had this made for you, it was lucky the seamstress understood your body shape since you refused to try it on the other day,” Fran said. “I hope you like it, dear. It was inspired by the dress on your pin board.”
&n
bsp; Joan gulped. “It must have cost a fortune to have a wedding dress made overnight.”
“Technically they had thirty-one hours to complete the dress,” Fran said smiling as Evelyn and the seamstress held the delicate sheer white lace sleeves while Joan slid her arms through.
The same soft sheer white lace ran over her shoulders opening to a low V at her back. Beneath the lace, a solid shimmery white material hugged her breasts in a heart shaped neckline. The skirt of the dress began low, below her belly button so that the corset fitted top showed off the curves of her breasts, her small waist, and curvy hips.
Cascading in an A-line skirt the dreamy white material of the dress reached the floor until she stepped into white heels that were blue on the bottom..
Fran and Joan’s mom clasped hands as they both gasped. “I can’t believe how perfect…” Her mom breathed dabbing at her eyes.
“You’re the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen, my dear,” Fran said pressing her handkerchief to her mouth.
“Thank you,” Joan said concentrating on how lovely everyone else looked instead. Evelyn wasn’t going to let her get away with not seeing herself in the dress as she pulled Joan along until she was standing at the mirror on the far wall.
“Oh shit.” Joan breathed.
“What?” her mom asked frowning.
I look so perfect. This is my dream dress. How am I going to feel when I get married for real and it’s in anything less than this?
“I’m sorry. I meant it’s so perfect. I can’t believe it. Sorry. It just came out.”
“How do you like your hair?” Marci asked.
Joan smiled. “It looks like you borrowed someones for my wedding. I don’t know how you got my hair to look this good.” It was down in long soft curls with a diamond headpiece Marci had sewn into her hair – at the time it hurt like hell – seeing it and the way it resembled a crown without actually being one was stunning.
I look every bit the part of Liam’s bride.
“It’s time,” Hansen said through the door.
Oh no. I’m not ready.
Joan turned away from the mirror only to be embraced by the wedding party. Evelyn mouthed, “You’ve got this.” And then exaggerated her good posture.
Straightening her shoulders, Joan nodded.
Terrance walked Fran down the aisle first. Then the wedding planner signaled Joan’s father Gene to take her mom. The look on his face when he saw her made Joan tear up even as Marci threatened her not to cry.
He smiled at her mom all the way down the aisle and Joan couldn’t stop watching her parents. They looked happier than she could ever remember seeing them.
Mae and Tatum were paired up and sent down the aisle.
Amanda and Cole were next.
“You look so beautiful,” her dad said as he made it back from the side hall he’d used to circle back. “I’m sorry I haven’t been more supportive.”
“No, Dad. You’ve been great.”
He smiled. “I don’t care if you’re married or not, you’re still my baby girl. You know that, right?”
“Yes, Dad. Of course.”
“If you change your mind just give me the cut signal and I’ll get us out of here lickety split. Okay?”
Joan laughed nervously.
“Just kidding,” he said as the music change to the wedding march. His brown eyes lowered to their hands and Joan realized she was squeezing hard. “You’re scared? That’s okay. No matter what happens, baby, you’ve got me behind you. This is nothing if you think about what we’ve been through. Right?”
Joan looked at him remembering those nights in the hospital, in the waiting room. He was right. She’d survived all these years with the threat of losing her sister hanging over her.
Liam Wainwright would not be the straw that broke her back.
I started this. Now I’m going to finish.
The doors opened again and she allowed her father to lead her down the aisle under arches made of the most beautiful red roses imaginable.
She watched the roses as she passed under them until the arches ended, opening up into the ballroom with high domed ceilings of stained glass. The sunlight coming through the colored glass shown like a prism on the aisle.
It was easy to get caught up in how magical and literally breathtaking everything was – until her eyes landed on Liam.
Lord help me survive this.
Liam was dressed in a midnight blue tux that intensified the blue of his eyes as if she needed those sexy eyes of his any further intensified.
Remember how I need help, Lord? Couldn’t you ugly him up just a little?
The people around him and in the audience faded away and all she could see was him. Liam. The look of awe in his eyes and the smile on his face wasn’t helping matters. Couldn’t he at least glare at her or look somewhere else?
Her heart was pounding hard by the time they reached the front.
“Who gives this woman to be married?”
“I’m not giving her away,” her father said to the priest. “She will always be my daughter. But I give her my support to choose whomever her heart desires.” Joan smiled kissing her dad on the cheek.
Liam took Joan’s hand from her fathers as he thanked him for his support. His hand was warm, hot even around her frozen one, and despite her best efforts trembling. He raised her hand to his lips kissing it as she tried to lower their hands away from his seductive lips.
He was stronger than Joan, and the smile he gave her as he kissed her hand almost made her laugh, but she held onto her anger. She had to if she was going to avoid crumbling into a white ball of sobs.
The priest started talking about the sacred nature of marriage and the like and while Joan took the chance to look somewhere else, Liam was still staring at her with that stupid look of awe on his gorgeous, dumb face.
Somehow the priest got from, “isn’t this a lovely day,” to the meat of the ceremony in what Joan thought had to be record time. It seemed all of the sudden that she found herself facing Liam. She felt forced by ceremony etiquette to look into the face of the man who was about to rip out her heart and roast it on a spit.
“Do you, Liam, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, so long as you both shall live?”
Joan held her breath, bracing herself for the hit. She watched his mouth waiting for the shape of an “o” to form on his lips. Her heart was beating so hard she could barely hear the priest. She didn’t hear Liam’s response but his mouth never made the shape she was watching for.
“…you, Joan,” the priest said her name and she looked at him with raised brows. “…to be your lawfully wedded husband in sickness and in….”
Joan leaned toward the priest. “You’re not supposed to be asking me that.”
“I’m sorry?” The priest leaned toward her confusion creasing the lines of his face.
“He said no. You have to stop talking so I can leave.”
The priest shook his head. “He didn’t say no. Liam said yes. Now it’s your turn to be asked.”
Joan looked at Liam.
He’s still smiling like an idiot.
“You’d better tell him again, he didn’t hear you,” Joan whispered to Liam.
“He heard me just fine,” Liam whispered back. “I said yes.”
Joan straightened away from Liam glaring at him.
“I want you to say yes too,” he said earnestly. “I love you, Joan.”
She took a step back looking for that exit Evelyn mentioned. Liam took that step with her. “I want you to be my wife. I want you to tell me when I’m being an arrogant ass, lose to you at poker, and see the world through your eyes.”
“No. You don’t even know me. Please stop this, Liam,” she pled in a whisper.
“I love the way you see the good in people. I love how smart you are about life and how easy it is for you to know what matters most. I love your voice and the way you still g
asp and appreciate the small things even when you think no one is listening.”
Tatum now stood in front of the exit Evelyn told her to take.
“How can you be saying all this now? Crenshaw wouldn’t sign until after the wedding?” Joan lashed out.
“I can’t blame you for not trusting my motives,” Liam said. “I won’t blame you if you say no. My motivation is you, Joan. I love you.”
Joan closed her eyes willing the tears to go away. “How is this supposed to work? Am I supposed to follow you around or wait around for you to show up when you feel like it? Give up my work? Put up with your mistresses and keep my mouth shut?”
“My dad and I burned that contract. Even though you know very well you didn’t sign the gag order correctly.”
Joan blinked at him. “You burned the prenuptial agreement?”
“I don’t want you to give up your work, Joan, and I don’t want you to have to wait around for me. I think you know that I use all my energy on you and don’t have anything left for a mistress.”
Her cheeks burned hot.
Liam smiled his fingers grazing her heated skin. “As for what I want from you, Joan? I want to be the reason you smile or at least the man who you smile with, laugh, cry, sob, rage, everything with. I want to give you everything you need and more. I love you. All I want is you.”
He dropped down onto one knee in front of her. “Joan Taylor, will you do me the great honor of saying yes? Will you be my wife?”
“No,” Joan said, her body shaking in complete disagreement with what was coming out of her mouth. “You might love me today but you won’t tomorrow. You won’t even be there tomorrow.” She pulled away and started back down the aisle since it was the only other exit she knew of.
Joan made it a few yards before Liam caught up with her and turned her around to face him again, his arms around her waist. “Then I’ll ask you again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that,” he said tilting her chin up again so that she was forced to look into his intense gaze. “I’m in love with you and you’re just as crazy in love with me. So, I’ll just keep asking until you realize I’m not going anywhere.”
An I.O.U. from a Billionaire Page 34