by Cooke, J. S.
“It’s okay Kane. I’m okay.”
“You’re sure.”
She smiled. “Yes, now make love to me.” That was music to my ears. Her pussy felt so freaking good. I started moving again, sliding in and out. I watched her face and the first few strokes seemed to be painful, but she was still holding onto me and still moving her hips. It wasn’t long before that look turned into something akin to ecstasy and she was moving faster and striking up off the bed harder. The incredible feelings overwhelmed me. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced. I’d imagined it like masturbating only better. That was kind of the case, but it was also like comparing a peso to a gold bar. Not even in the same realm. Alicia was panting and moaning along with me. Although I lasted longer than I had imagined I would, I felt the inevitable orgasm beginning to build up inside of me. I almost wasn’t prepared for the way it tore through me. For a second I thought about trying to hold it back but then she screamed out in ecstasy and that was it for me. I came inside of her. Stupid kids. But Jesus Mother Mary, it was fucking amazing.
For the next month we touched, kissed, cuddled and made love every chance we got. Right up until the day I told her I was leaving for the U.S.
“When will you be back?” she asked me.
“I’m not sure. My father is going with me. Going back and forth across the border won’t be easy. I’ll have to get a Visa, and to keep it I’ll have to stay in the country and establish myself.”
“Establish yourself? You plan on staying there?”
“Yes, I’d like to. I want to be fighter, Alicia. My brother’s mother was an American. She died before I was born and my Papa married my mother. But his uncles and my father still talk. They’ve arranged for a former fighter to train me and Cruz if he wants to go.”
“What about us?” Her beautiful eyes filled with tears and my heart ached in my chest. I had to make her understand I didn’t want to leave but I had to. I knew it was my only chance to make something of myself.
“I won’t ever forget you and maybe sometime you can come to the U.S.”
That was a bad answer. Hindsight told me she wanted me to tell her I loved her. I knew that I was crazy about her, but I didn’t know anything about love. I was hesitant to say that was what I was feeling, so I didn’t.
“Alicia…”
“No, just go. I thought…” she took a deep breath. “I just thought you were different from the others around here. Just go.”
The conversation with Cruz was almost as painful. Since he was a kid he’d been slipping across the border into Texas and working out with a fighter there who had some kind of ties to one of the cartels in Mexico. He would come back and show me what he’d learned. He called himself my trainer. He used to tell me I was going to be a champion and we’d be a team. I had never imagined he wouldn’t want to go.
“I can’t go Kane. You go and make me proud, okay?”
“I don’t understand Cruz. You’re American. You have more right to go than me. You wouldn’t even have to worry about your citizenship. You can prove you have a right to be there.”
“It’s not about citizenship little brother. I can’t just leave the cartel. I know you’re naïve little brother but you have to know that much. La sangre y la sangre hacia fuera.” Blood in, blood out.
“They would kill you?”
Cruz had laughed and ruffled my hair like he did when I was just a kid. “So innocent. Go make me proud,” he said. He never answered my question, but he was right. I did know that much. They would kill him.
That was six years ago. I just turned twenty-three and I hadn’t seen my brother or Alicia since. I’d worked hard and studied harder. I became a U.S. citizen. I became a damned good fighter. About six months ago I got picked up by the Las Vegas MMA. I’d been training with Jacob Wright. I had my own apartment that I paid for out of my winnings and I was dating a new girl every week. My life was good. Better than I ever imagined it would be. Was it worth it? I suppose it was.
__ Chapter 3 __
CRUZ
I woke up with Conan’s big ass hovering over me.
“You missed training, again. Did you come all the way across the border to party and sleep?”
Fuck! I rubbed my eyes and started to sit up. I looked down at the girl on my chest and slid her off me. “What time is it?”
“It’s the middle of the day. What the hell did you two do last night?”
I looked back over at the naked girl. Conan was completely averting his eyes. I wouldn’t have if it was me and I got a look at that hot little piece he was married to. I grinned and said, “We fucked, a lot.”
Conan looked at me like I completely disgusted him and ignoring that comment he said, “When was the last time you ate? You’re losing weight. You look like shit.” I shrugged. I had no fucking clue. I knew I’d drunk a hell of a lot. “Come on, you have to eat.” I started to reach for my girl who was still passed out and he said, “Leave her there. I’ll send Cat with something for her in a while. After you eat you’re going to be getting the shit beat out of you by me anyways. You don’t want her to see all that.” Conan grinned like he was kidding. I’d run across him off and on since I was about twelve. The first time I’d slipped across into Browning and found the gym he worked out in. The old Chinese man who ran the place let me work out with them whenever I showed up. I wasn’t sure if he knew I was in Texas to distribute narcotics and collect money or not. If he knew, he didn’t seem to care. He was nice to me and so was Conan. But, I knew him well enough to know he wasn’t kidding about beating the shit out of me. I’m a damned good fighter, but I don’t keep myself in shape the way he does. When he’s pissed at me and he really turns loose, I hurt for days afterwards.
We left the piece of shit motel room I’d rented and walked right past a perfectly respectable Hamburger joint and into a Pho place. “Seriously?” I said as he held the door open.
“You keep putting shit in your body, your body is going to give you shit back,” Conan said. I rolled my eyes at him. He ignored me and ordered two bowls with chicken. To me it was the equivalent of eating a giant bowl of chicken noodle soup, but it was easier to eat it than it was to argue with the stubborn Gringo. Once we were served, I realized that after a couple of days without anything to eat, Pho was pretty damned good. I was lapping it up when he said, “Speaking of putting shit in your body.”
“You know my English is pretty good. I think the tense you’re looking for there is that we already spoke about that and now we’re moving forward.”
He looked slightly amused, but he went on with, “What kind of shit were you smoking last night?”
I tried to look innocent, but that look hadn’t really worked for me since my mom died when I was six. “Smoking? I wasn’t smoking? We had a few drinks.” Conan stood up and threw a twenty on the table. I was still eating. “Where are you going?”
“I’m done with this shit, Cruz. You keep telling me you want to be a fighter. Since you were twelve you’ve been sneaking your ass over here to learn how to fight. I’m finally in a place where I can really help you, but you don’t listen to shit I say and you fucking lie to me.” People in the restaurant were looking at him. That was probably okay since none of them looked to me like they could speak English anyways.
“Okay, okay! Sit down man. Let me finish my soup and I’ll tell you the absolute truth. You might not like it.”
Conan sat and glared at me while I slurped the last few noodles out of the bowl. When I finished I looked up at him and said, “I’m being straight with you Conan when I tell you I want to do this. I’ve wanted it my entire life. But what you see has been my life since I was twelve years old. As long as I’m here, around the people I’ve grown up with and working for, they’re not going to let me change.”
He cocked an eyebrow and said, “So this is all someone else’s fault?”
“Come on man, you’re married to the niece of a cartel leader. Go ask her how easy it is to get away from this shit.” I
knew the story of Catalina’s escape. Everyone who knew anything about Guzman did. It was the one thing you could mention in his presence and instantly die for was the rumor in Mexico. I wondered if Conan even knew how tenuous his wife’s freedom really was.
He rubbed his face. “Fuck, how about going further into the U.S.?”
“Further in? Like Dallas, Houston?”
“Nevada.”
“Nevada?” Nevada was where my piece of shit father took my brother six years ago. “Why Nevada?”
“I know a guy there who is a former heavyweight champion. He’s a trainer and a promoter now. I think I could get him to train you, but he’s tougher than I am Cruz. You’d have to give up the drugs and the gangs and weapons and chasing women.” Fucking killjoy.
“What about my girl?”
“She can go with you. I have a small apartment I keep there that you two can stay in for a while. But I’m serious.”
“I know, no fun stuff,” I said. He glared at me again and I tried to laugh it off. “I’m kidding. Nevada huh?” I thought about seeing Kane again and maybe having one last chance to tell that old hypocrite of a father of mine what a waste of oxygen he’d been his whole life. “Yeah, okay. We can go to Nevada.”
“I have to call Jake and set it up. If he says yes I’ll get you two on the train in the morning.”
“Cool. Is he close to Vegas?”
“He’s in Vegas.” I tried not to smile. I had some boys in Vegas. It sounded like fun.
*******
CONAN
“You think he’ll straighten up just because you’re sending him to a new place? Who he is and how he was raised is still inside of him Conan, no matter where you send him.” Catalina had just gotten back from taking lunch to Cruz’s girl. I told her about my idea to send Cruz to Jacob in Vegas. She was skeptical. She was looking at him in the cage sparring with Lee, another guy I’d taken under my wing. The difference between the two was like night and day. Cruz had natural talent and physical ability, but he’d spent his adult life pissing it away. Lee had to struggle to stay up in his weight class, but he did it. He didn’t smoke, drink or chase women. I was always urging him to get at least some kind of life outside of the gym. I looked over and even after partying all night and one decent meal in a couple of days, Cruz was killing him. Wasted talent kills me. I had to at least give him a shot.
“All I can do is hope. I’m not quite ready to give up on him yet.”
Cat’s eyes went from the cage to the two well-dressed men who stood sentry at the back door. Her father, a well-known criminal in Las Vegas, was still sending men to follow us around and make sure her uncle never touched her. “Should I ask Dominic to keep an eye on him?” She and her father communicated on a regular basis. I adored my wife, but if it was up to me I’d take her to a private island somewhere that her criminal relatives would all stay away.
“No. Jake would not be okay with Dominic’s men hanging around his gym. I only put up with it for you.”
She smiled. “You’re such a good husband.”
“True story,” I told her, “And I’m an animal in the sack.”
She laughed. I’m not sure what that means, but with Cat sometimes I was afraid to ask. She looked back at Cruz and said, “You’re amazing at most everything you do, but sometimes I worry that getting involved with people who grew up the way we did will eventually get you hurt.”
“Look how good it worked out for you and me.”
She mimicked me with, true story. I got a kiss and then I got to watch her walk away. It was a damned fine sight. I took out my phone and pressed in Jake’s number. A lot of what Cat said was true. I could hear the stories about their childhood’s and feel empathy, but when it came right down to it, I couldn’t even imagine the things they’d seen and done in their young lifetimes. All I could do was go on my gut feeling that somewhere inside of Cruz Diaz was a good man that just needed a break.
“Conan! What’s up man?”
“Hi Jake, how are you?”
“I can’t complain. How are you doing?”
“I’m alright. I have a favor to ask you.”
“Anything.”
I laughed and said, “You might want to hang onto that response until you hear me out. I have this guy who I’ve kind of known for about twelve years. He used to sneak across the border and train with me and my sensei when I was a kid. I’ve been working with him now for a while and he’s a hell of a fighter. I think he could be one of the best with the right trainer. I’m thinking of sending him there and I’m wondering if you’d have time to pick him up.”
“Why send him to me? You’re as good of a trainer as I am, if not better.”
I smiled. For Jacob Wright to say that was one hell of a compliment. “Thanks man, but the issue with this guy is he’s all wrapped up in the drug trade. They’ve been using him to run drugs since he was a kid. He’s wanted out of that life for years but he has no idea how to go about it. He honestly just doesn’t know anything else.”
“Is he using drugs?”
“He smokes.”
“Cigarettes?”
“No. Marijuana and maybe opium.”
Jake made a choking sound. “That bullshit won’t cut it with me. His ass will be pissing in a cup before he gets into one of my cages.”
“That’s fair. He says he wants to quit. I guess we’ll see how serious he is.”
“What’s his name?”
“Cruz Diaz.”
“Diaz? Is he any relation to Kane?”
“Yeah, Kane’s his brother. I’m not sure what the deal is there, but Cruz says they haven’t seen each other or even talked in six years.”
“Well if he’s even a third as good as his brother, you have a champion on your hands. Kane’s kicking ass over here.”
“I’ve been seeing that online. Cruz is that good, but he needs to get the hell away from here and to a place where he can focus.”
“Send him. Just make sure he knows I won’t put up with his bullshit.”
“I’ve already warned him,” I said with a grin. Jacob’s reputation for not putting up with fighter’s bullshit preceded him. We B.S.’d for a bit and I hung up feeling good about sending Cruz out there. Maybe the family angle would help him out too. I could only hope.
__ Chapter 4 __
KANE
Jacob left me with one of his new guys and went out to lunch with Lance and his brother Ian. The kid was greener than I was when I first got there. His name is Aaron and although he just turned twenty-one, he looked like a ten year old whose face has been transplanted onto an adult’s gargantuan body.
“So Jacob said we’re supposed to work on your ground game. Have you had any jiu-jitsu training?”
“Not yet,” he said. His deep voice sounded so strange to me coming out of that ten year old face. I wondered what they fed their children in America sometimes.
“Okay, so we’ll start there. Jiu-Jitsu is fighting on the ground. You’ll hear it called wrestling and grappling too. It’s all the same. It’s about learning how to fight on your back and get back up on your feet before you have to tap out.”
The kid laughed. “I’m not tapping out,” he said. Cocky little bastard. I couldn’t wait to show him how much he was going to need that hand. He’d learn to swallow all of that pride quickly. We all do.
“You’re going to use that hand as much to tap out as you do to jerk off, so pay attention.” He laughed again and said,
“This is Vegas brother. If I’m getting a hand job that hand is attached to a hot brunette.”
“Good, then your own hand will be in shape to tap out when you lose, because you will lose a lot. Let’s go. Throw a punch.” The kid swung his right arm at me. It was big and beefy and if it had connected, it could have done some damage. I dove under it though and wrapped his legs up. He hit the mat like the giant from Jack’s beanstalk with a thud. We did that over and over. He never connected one punch. After a few times I started mounting him and no ma
tter how hard he tried, he wasn’t able to push me off. I’d catch his arm up in a hold and twist. The first time he had to tap in submission he looked like he wanted his mama. I was having a great time. After a few times of not being able to push me off of him, he started trying to roll away. I’d just wait for him to turn over and jump on his back, wrapping my arm around his neck in a death grip. It never took more than a few seconds before he was ready to pass out and tap that arm on the mat like crazy.
We rolled around, wrestled and sweat for nearly an hour before I finally took pity on him and told him to hit the showers. He was looking at me with respect by the time we were finished. I didn’t tell him but when I came to Jacob as great as I was on my feet I had no ground game at all. I was as cocky about my skills as Aaron was and I’d tapped out twice as much with Jacob on top of me that first day.
I climbed out of the cage and was wiping down my sweaty chest with a towel when I heard a blast from the past. “Mira mi hermano pequeño. Se ve como un luchador.” Look at my little brother. He looks like a fighter. It was Cruz’s voice. Even after six years, I’d know it anywhere. I jerked my head towards the sound of it and when I saw him standing there grinning at me, I ran towards him and launched into his open arms. I nearly knocked him down. I had to outweigh him by a good twenty-five pounds. He was laughing. “Watch it Pappy, you’re going to take me down.”
“Cruz! What are you doing here?”
“Jacob didn’t tell you I was coming?”
“No! I’m so happy to see you though. Why are you here?”
Cruz told me about his trainer in Brownsville and how badly he’d wanted to get him away from the drugs and cartels. “Jacob agreed to train me. I watched some of your You Tube videos on my way out here little brother. You’re a fucking machine.”
It made me happy that Cruz was proud of me. I couldn’t help but notice that the years didn’t sit kindly on him. His body was still solid muscle like it had always been, but he’d lost weight and his cheeks looked sunken in. He had deep, dark crevices underneath his eyes as well. I hoped his trainer wasn’t the only one who wanted him off the drugs. He was committing slow suicide and had been since he was about twelve years old.