He grinned. “Now where would the fun be in that? Buckle up.”
I sighed as he walked around the truck and easily climbed into the high cab. “What’re you in the mood for, Teeny? Burger and fries or something a bit fancier.”
“What are you talking a-about?” I asked in alarm as he turned towards the center of town rather than the ranch. My heart beat faster.
“Lunch. I’m starving. My treat.”
“I’m not hungry,” I told him as he pulled in front of the diner. It was one of the only two places to eat in Bear Ridge. Well, the pub had bar snacks, but if you wanted actual meals, you went to Eddie’s Diner or to Edward’s Restaurant. And, yes, the same person owned both. He wasn’t actually called Edward, weirdly enough. Bear Ridge’s mayor, Alton Charles was the owner. The Charles family was one of the founding families of Bear Ridge, and, boy, did Alton make sure no one forgot. I was pretty sure he thought he owned the whole town.
He was also the Carlson’s closest neighbor. Although, for some reason, he and Jared had never gotten along.
Luke turned to study me, and I struggled to keep my face calm. I knew I was a terrible liar, so I hoped like hell he’d let this go. He leaned his arm on the steering wheel.
“Not hungry, huh?”
I shook my head. “But you go inside and eat.”
“And what are you planning to do?”
Hide out in the truck and hope no one spotted me. At least the windows were tinted. It was wimpy, I knew. But even though I had no blame in what my father did, I still felt like everyone judged me. I wished now that I’d brought my laptop or tablet. I had a deadline that was approaching quickly, and I could’ve gotten some work done while I was waiting.
“I’ll wait here.”
He let out a half-laugh. “You really expect me to go inside and eat while you bake out here in the truck?”
“Well, I was kind of hoping you’d leave the air running.”
“Maybe I could just crack a window for you, like a dog.”
“Luke!” I scolded.
His face hardened. “You’re coming in with me, Teeny. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I’m not leaving you out here to wait while I eat. If you’re not hungry, fine. You can have a drink and watch me eat.”
“B—b-but—” Shit. I stopped myself, aware my stuttering would give away how stressed I was feeling. That’s why I didn’t come into Bear Ridge.
“Are you on some crazy diet?” he demanded.
“W-what? No.” I pressed my lips together. Deep breaths in and out.
“Good. Cause you know, I’m not going to stand for any of that shit.”
I bit back the retort that even if I was on a diet, it was none of his business. Like I’d said last night, Luke was a caretaker. He needed to look after others. He needed to feel needed. He climbed from the cab, and I waited until he came around, staring out at the diner with a sense of impending doom.
Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. Maybe.
Luke
I didn’t know what the hell was going on with Ariana, but if she thought I was the type of man to leave her sitting in the car while I went and ate, she didn’t know me all that well. I opened the door to the diner and gestured for her to go inside ahead of me. She paused and seemed to gather herself. What the fuck? It was as if I’d asked her to walk into a nest of vipers rather than to lunch.
“Is my company that bad?” I asked as I led her over to a booth by the windows.
“What? No.” She looked up in surprise then bit her lip. That poor lip sure took some abuse. “It’s n-not that.”
“Then what is it?” I pressed.
“Nothing.”
I growled at that response, but before I could press her, our waitress approached. “Hi, welcome to Eddie’s diner. What can I get ya’ll?”
“Um, I’ll have a burger, fries, no salad, and an iced tea. Teeny, you sure you don’t want anything?”
“Luke? Luke Carlson? That you?”
I peered up at the waitress, I hadn’t recognized her before, but now that I studied her more closely there was something familiar about her. “Brandy?”
“Yep.” She grinned, snapping her gum. “What you doin’ back here?”
“My father’s funeral.”
“Oh, yeah. Um, sorry about your father. I’m sorry I couldn’t make the funeral, I had to work.”
Uh-huh. She wasn’t a very good liar, but I didn’t blame her for not going. I’d only gone because of my brothers.
And to make sure the bastard was really dead.
“You back for long?” She gave me a big smile as she ran her gaze over me.
“Not too long, no.”
“Ah, bet you’ve got a girl waiting for you back in the city, huh?” A look of regret came over her face.
“Something like that.” I looked over at Ariana, who hadn’t said a word. Her gaze was down, and she was hunching in on herself. I frowned, hating that she looked so defensive, almost as though she were expecting a blow.
“You remember going to the spring dance with me?”
“Yeah, sure.” I was trying to be polite, but the way she kept ignoring Ariana was really pissing me off.
“You want something to eat, Ariana?” I asked.
“Ariana?” Brandy turned as though only spotting Ariana for the first time. Her waitressing skills could use some work. “Oh, Jesus, what are you doing here?”
Brandy looked behind her worriedly as she bent down and whispered harshly to Ariana, “You shouldn’t be here. You know you’re not Meg’s favorite person.”
“What?” I said. “What does that mean?”
“You didn’t tell him,” Brandy said.
“There’s n-nothing to tell.”
A fake look of sympathy filled Brandy’s face. “Oh, you’ve still got that little stutter. How sad.”
I held back my growl at the way Ariana’s face shut down, her shoulders hunching. I was starting to get some idea of why she hadn’t wanted to come into the diner.
Ariana smiled weakly. “I d-did tell you I w-w-wanted to stay in the car.” She sighed and glanced around. I noticed that a few people were staring. They looked away when I glared at them. What the hell?
I looked back at Ariana and saw how pale and stressed she looked. No way I was putting her through this.
“Cancel my order,” I told Brandy abruptly. “My appetite has gone. Come on, Ari. Let’s go.”
Ariana
This time I didn’t protest as he lifted me up into the cab of the truck. I just wanted out of there as quickly as possible. Luke was silent as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed out of town. I stared at his hands, the knuckles white as he clenched the steering wheel tightly.
“I’m s-sorry.”
“What? Why the hell are you apologizing? You have nothing to apologize for.”
“Um, maybe for ruining your lunch?”
“What is going on, Ari?”
I sighed. “People in B-Bear Ridge have long m-memories.”
“So? I know other kids picked on you growing up, but I thought that was kid stuff.”
“It was. B-But I’ve never felt welcome in Bear Ridge. M-maybe it’s mostly my imagination. But I always feel like p-people are staring, judging me for what my f-father did.”
He frowned. “What your father did has nothing to do with you. You were a child.”
I was still furious at my father for what he’d done. For convincing people to invest with him, for lying and telling them he’d make them all rich. They’d trusted him, believed in him. And he’d betrayed them all. Taken their money and disappeared to God knew where, not even leaving a note. As if he’d never cared for me at all. I’d thought he had. I’d thought he loved me. My mom had died giving birth to me, and it had always been just dad and me.
Then it was just my aunt and me. We’d been left to bear the brunt of everyone’s anger. We’d been left to put up with the hatred and judgment.
Luke cursed. “Fuck it all to
hell. I hate that they make you feel that way. You did nothing wrong.”
I shrugged and looked out the window. “I know. And things were o-okay. Until the rumor started up a m-month ago.”
“Rumor?”
“Someone started a r-rumor that my father contacted me. T-that I didn’t work because he’s been s-sending me money. Meg is having financial problems. She came to me. W-wanting money.”
“Jesus. And she’s angry at you because you didn’t have any? Even if you had money, you owe her nothing. Your father does. And who the hell started that rumor? Why hasn’t Joel said anything about this?”
I kept my face turned from his. “He d-doesn’t go into Bear Ridge much. He probably n-never heard the rumor.”
“Or no one had the balls to tell him because they knew he’d shut it down. How come you didn’t tell him?”
“Why would I? W-what purpose w-would it serve?”
“Why do I get the feeling you’re not telling me everything. Do you know who started the rumor?”
Crap. I should have known I wouldn’t be able to keep it from him.
“Don’t t-tell Joel.”
“Don’t tell Joel what? Ariana?” Luke’s voice had grown stern, and he pulled over to the side of the road, turning off the truck. Leaning over, he turned my face to his. “Who?”
“Ashlynn.”
“What the fuck? Why?”
I shrugged. “I think s-she hoped to get r-rid of me.” It’s the only reason I can think of that she’d start that rumor.
“That bitch.” He slammed his fist against the steering wheel, and I jumped.
“I don’t r-really go anywhere in Bear Ridge e-except to the clinic anyway. I should probably change doctors. Lola’s got a good doctor in Kingsville. That’s where I do m-most of my shopping anyway.”
“Lola?” he questioned.
I smiled, grateful for the change of subject. “Lola’s my best friend. She owns a s-small boutique in Kingsville. She came up to me one day when I was eating lunch at a café and t-told me I was wearing the w-worst shirt she’d ever seen.” I laughed.
“You found that funny?”
“Not at first. But then she p-proceeded to sit down and pretty much told me her life story. I couldn’t say anything. I was t-too scared of stuttering and scaring her away. She asked me if I was m-mute. So I said hello, ‘I’m Ariana.’ I stuttered with each word, and she just said, ‘cool name.’ Two hours later we were exchanging phone numbers and agreeing to meet up the next week for coffee. I’ve never really had a friend. I had you guys, but that was different. You’d have to m-meet Lola to understand. She’s got a tough exterior, but she’s loyal, funny, and kind.”
“I don’t want you going into Bear Ridge without one of us again.” He started up the truck again.
I sighed. I thought he was sweet for wanting to protect me. He’d been doing it all his life. Maybe it was time for me to move away, to stand on my own two feet. But I was scared. I didn’t want to leave.
Maybe I’d also stayed because it was my link to Luke. The one way I might get to see him again. Now, I had. And it was more than obvious he didn’t have feelings for me like I did for him.
“Maybe it’s time I thought about growing up and moving out.”
Luke looked completely flummoxed. “But who would look after you?”
I snorted. “And that’s exactly my point. I would look after me. It’s time I took responsibility for myself.”
Luke
“She wants to leave.” I paced back and forth across the living room after dinner that night. Caroline was in bed with a headache, Ashlynn was still at her mother’s, and Ariana claimed to be busy. I’d gone for a walk earlier and seen her lights were on. Not to spy on her, I’d needed some fresh air. Really.
“She’s an adult,” Joel said tiredly. He looked exhausted. He’d worked like a demon all day; probably trying to tire himself out enough to fall asleep tonight without thinking about Ashlynn. I knew what that felt like. It was becoming harder and harder to climb into bed beside Caroline. I knew I had to do something about that situation soon. I just didn’t want to leave her when she was already in a fragile state.
But it wasn’t working out between us. It hadn’t been for a long time.
“You want her to go?” I questioned him. “She doesn’t have anywhere to go. She doesn’t have any family other than us.”
“I didn’t say I wanted her to go. But I get it. And if anyone should understand that, it’s you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“You left. How often have you been back? How often have you spoken to her since you left? Now you think you can come in and decide what’s best for her? Kind of patronizing.”
“What the fuck?” Patronizing? I only wanted what was best for her.
“Guys, calm down,” Mac said.
Joel stood as I moved closer to him, scowling at him furiously.
“You haven’t been here, Luke. You ran away just like fucking Van. And now you think you can just come in and decide you know best? Well, fuck you.”
“Okay, I think we all need to calm down.” Caleb stepped between us both as I stared at Joel incredulously.
“You’re angry at me for leaving? You wanted me to hang around here with the old man yelling and snarling at me every minute of every day?”
Joel turned away, running his hand through his salt and pepper hair. “No. Fuck. No, I didn’t want that. I know he made your life hell. All of your lives hell.” He stared around at the rest of us. “I don’t resent you for leaving, Luke. I guess I just wish I could have followed you.”
I gaped at him. “What? Joel, you love this place. You love ranching. This place was always going to be yours.”
“Do I love it?” Joel countered. “Or am I here because it’s what was expected of me? The old man was always easier on me than you guys.”
“Because you were the first born. The heir,” Caleb said the words without any rancor. The old bastard had only ever cared about Joel. He’d often berated the rest of us for not being as smart or athletic or talented as Joel. It might have made us resent Joel if he hadn’t hated it almost as much as we had.
“Yeah, and it was expected of me to run this place. No one ever asked me what I wanted.”
“What do you want?” Mac asked quietly.
Joel gave him a surprised look then laughed. “Exactly, Mac. What do I want? I don’t even know. So here I stay, day after day, slogging my guts out working this ranch, and for what? So my wife can resent all the time I spend away from her? To build a legacy for children I’ll probably never have? So I understand why Ariana wants to go. I get it.”
I sat, running my hand over my face. “I’m sorry. I never knew you felt that way.”
Joel shrugged and sat as well. “I never told you.”
I’d been planning to tell him about the rumor and how Ari believed Ashlynn started it, but what would it gain at this point except to cause Joel more angst?
“Do you ever worry about the fact that you have the old man’s blood in you?” Mac asked suddenly. “That you might turn out like him?”
I turned to look at Mac in surprise. If anyone was the polar opposite of our father, it was my youngest brother. Calm, quiet, and considerate, Mac didn’t raise his voice or make rash decisions. I’d never seen him once lose his temper.
“Do you think the reason you chose someone like Caroline, someone who you know you’ll never get attached to, someone who needs you more than you need her is because of the old man?” Mac asked. “Because you’re worried deep down about bringing someone into your life permanently in case you turn into him?”
I gaped at him. “That’s not why I’m with Caroline.”
“Then why are you with her?” Joel asked. “Because there doesn’t seem to be much passion between you. You’re like two strangers sharing the same bed. You act more like her guardian than her lover.”
“Since when do you use words like passion and lover?
” I scoffed, even though the words felt a bit too close to what I’d been thinking myself lately. Had I ever truly been attracted to Caroline? Sexually, yes, in the beginning, but not emotionally. It was easy to stay detached from Caroline. Had I chosen her for that reason? Because I knew our relationship would never last?
“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath.
“It’s okay,” Mac said. “Not like I haven’t had the same thought. His blood’s inside us. Does that mean we’re ticking time bombs waiting to go off?”
“No,” Caleb replied fiercely. “Because we all know what it was like to grow up with him. To have to be on guard against him constantly, knowing that getting it wrong could result in a shit storm. How many times were we too slow to avoid his fists or caught off guard by his temper? Can you imagine ever treating your children that way? Your wife?”
I shook my head, watching as my brothers did the same, although Mac still looked pensive. “Because of the old man I know I’ll work extra hard to make sure my woman never fears me. That my children know they’re loved and safe. I’ll never be like him,” I vowed.
Closing my eyes, I leaned my head back against the sofa. “I remember when I got into that fight with Matthew Philips at school. I ended up with a black eye and bruised knuckles. One of the teachers called dear old dad to pick me up. She’d have been horrified to learn I got a beating twice as bad once I got home.” I sighed.
“Why do you think Ariana’s hiding tonight?” I asked.
“What makes you think she’s hiding?” Caleb asked.
“I thought she was working,” Joel added.
“At this time of night?” I queried.
“She often works late into the night,” Joel said. “If the muse is speaking to her she doesn’t like to stop.”
“So what’s with the security system?” I’d been meaning to ask about it. Most people around here didn’t even lock their doors, let alone put in an alarm and cameras.
Joel scowled. “We had two break-ins in three months. They happened soon after the old man started to lose it. Ashlynn freaked out, so I put the system in.”
I frowned. “Why would someone break in here? And twice in three months?”
“It’s like they were searching for something,” Caleb commented.
Luke (Bad Boys of WildeSide Book 3) Page 4