“I’m sorry, Caroline.”
“Don’t be. I’m the one who’s sorry. I wasn’t much of a girlfriend to you. Or even a companion or friend. I used you to lean on, to take care of me. You deserve more than that. I better go.”
I carried the suitcase down the stairs behind her. She walked across the yard in six-inch heels, not stumbling once. A helicopter had landed in the field closest to the house. A dark-haired man jogged out towards us. Caroline hugged him tightly, and he nodded at me before taking the suitcase. I had no idea who he was and felt a bit guilty I was just letting Caroline leave. But she was right. There hadn’t been a relationship between us in a long time. If ever.
I waved as she left. Then turned back towards the house with a sigh. As I walked in, the silence of the place hit me. When had it ever been this quiet? I cruised through the house. I strode into the study, walking around the room slowly. I remembered all the times the old bastard had dragged me in there, screaming at me about one thing or another. All the times, I hadn’t been able to hide well enough or run quickly enough. When I hadn’t been able to avoid his fists.
Other people must have known. Someone must have seen the bruises. But this was a small town, and Jared Carlson had a lot of money and influence. I guess that meant more than the welfare of five small boys.
With my jaw clenched, I walked out of the room. I needed to think, figure out what to do next, and work out what to do about Ariana and my feelings for her.
Ariana
Lola poured me another glass of the bubbly, pink wine. Normally, I wasn’t much of a drinker. I was a lightweight. All it took was two or three glasses, and my head was buzzing. But tonight was different. I wanted some oblivion, to have a few hours where I wasn’t thinking about everything that had happened earlier. Maybe if I drank enough wine, I’d actually be able to sleep.
“So he left the ranch to you? Why?”
I shrugged. After kissing Luke, I knew I couldn’t stay on the ranch. I was so ashamed of what I’d done, I just couldn’t face anyone. So I’d raced inside, scribbled a note to Van, hastily packed a bag before climbing into Aunt Aggie’s old car, and chugging off down the road. I barely remembered the drive to Lola’s place, which wasn’t a good thing. My mind had been racing, and I’d driven on autopilot. Luckily, I’d arrived in one piece. Taking one look at my face, Lola had dragged me inside, sat me down, and poured some wine.
Now, after two glasses, I was feeling delightfully mellow and relaxed. Lola had pulled out her manicure set and did my nails. I’d never been interested in painting my nails, but right then I couldn’t have cared less what she did.
“He didn’t s-say. Because he was an a-asshole? Because he w-wanted one last laugh at all of us? Because he wanted t-to hurt me?”
Lola paused while painting my ring fingernail a bright purple. “Why would he want to hurt you?”
“I don’t know. But I do know my a-aunt was always afraid of him. He used to hit the boys.”
“What?” Lola sat up straight. “He hit them? Even Van?”
“Even Van. In fact, I think he was h-hardest on V-van. I don’t k-know why.” It was difficult to concentrate on speaking without stuttering when I was this tipsy, but I knew Lola didn’t care.
“It’s hard to imagine anyone hurting Van without him killing them.” Lola had met Van a few times when he’d come to visit me while on leave. Van hadn’t wanted to stay at the ranch, so he’d rent a motel room in Kingsville, and I would stay with Lola.
I couldn’t decide whether Lola had a thing for Van or not. She tended to get snarky and prickly when he was around, especially when he became all bossy and protective as he usually did. But every so often I caught her staring at him when she didn’t think anyone was looking, and I could swear there was longing in her eyes.
“Van wasn’t always b-big and strong. He w-was a skinny kid a-and . . .” I paused. No, that was Van’s story to tell.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“You can’t start to say something then just stop,” she moaned.
“I can’t say. It’s V-Van’s story. But their father was an asshole to all of them. Except for Joel. He wasn’t n-nice to Joel exactly, but he wasn’t as hard on him like the others. I don’t know whether it was because Joel was the o-oldest or because he looked the most like Jared. Or maybe b-because he was athletic and well-liked. Who knows? All I know is Joel now hates me.”
“It’s not your fault,” Lola said loyally, looking pissed. “Why the hell would he hate you?”
“Because I’ve t-taken everything f-from him. I’m g-going to make it right, though.”
“He’s got no business blaming you. It’s not like you want that ranch. How’re you gonna make it right?”
“I’m going t-to sign the r-ranch over to him.”
She lifted her perfectly arched eyebrows. Everything about Lola was perfect, from her gorgeous, ebony hair to her beautifully manicured nails, rockin’ body, and smooth, creamy skin. She could’ve graced the cover of any fashion magazine, except she always joked no one wanted a midget modeling their clothes. At five one she was close in height to me. It was pretty much the only thing we had in common. She was gorgeous, confident, and smart. Way smarter than she let on. I knew she’d been accepted to Harvard, but she’d decided to pursue her passion, which was designing clothes. She now had her own boutique, which was getting a name for itself.
“Can you do that?”
I shrugged. “I’ll h-hire a lawyer. S-see what I can figure out.”
“Why don’t you talk to Bono?” she asked. “I can call him for you tomorrow.”
“Isn’t your b-brother a c-criminal lawyer?” I asked.
“Yeah, but he’ll know someone who can help. You ought to get some advice about this first, Ariana. You don’t want to do something you’ll regret later.”
“It’s not m-mine. It never s-should h-have been.”
“Just talk to Bono. Then I won’t say another word.”
I snorted. “That w-would b-be a miracle.”
She grinned. “I won’t say another word about you giving the ranch away. Doesn’t mean I won’t be asking you what else is going on.”
“What d-do you mean?” I looked at my nails. They didn’t actually look that bad. They were bitten short, but Lola had managed to tidy them up, and I liked the color. She started on my toenails.
“I know there’s something else going on, so spill it.”
I sighed.
“Come on, in all the years I’ve known you I’ve only ever seen you drink two glasses of wine at once. You’re on your third glass now.”
“I am n-not.” Was I? I stared down at my glass, my sight slightly blurry. I shrugged and drank down the last mouthful with a shudder. Uh, what was it about that last bit that always tasted so awful?
“And I know something bad had to happen for you to turn up without notice, bag in hand. So what’s going on?”
I leaned my head back against the sofa. “I k-kissed him.”
“What? Who?”
I glanced down at Lola who stared up at me in shock. I guess it was a bit surprising. I could count on one hand the number of guys I’d kissed. And I didn’t need all five fingers.
“Luke.”
“Luke? Luke Luke?”
“Yeah, Luke Luke.”
“Wow. And how did he react?”
“Well, h-he kissed m-me back.”
“Yeah, and? What happened?”
I sat up. “What h-happened is h-he has a girlfriend. I kissed a man w-who is t-taken, Lola.”
Lola frowned and refilled our glasses. “He kissed you when he has a girlfriend? That’s not cool.”
“I k-kissed him, Lola.”
“How big is this guy?”
“Uh, I don’t k-know, about six one. He’s broad. Not as b-broad as Van, but muscular. Why?”
“So he’d be able to push you away if he didn’t want you kissing him, right?”
I could see where she was go
ing with this. “Yes, but that’s not the point.”
“It is. He could have pushed you away. He could have stepped back. What did he do?”
“He kissed m-me back. He t-touched my breast.” Whoops, I couldn’t believe I’d said that. Damn wine made me lose all control of my tongue.
She laughed. “That doesn’t sound like a man who didn’t want to kiss you.”
“I s-shouldn’t have done it.” I brought my thumbnail to my mouth. Lola slapped my hand, and I drew it away. “Ow.”
“No biting your nails. I just did them. Sounds to me like you shouldn’t have kissed each other. But it’s done now, so what are you going to do?”
“H-hide h-here until he goes home?” I asked meekly.
She simply shook her head, and I thought she was going to give me some lecture about going back there and facing Luke. Instead, she stood up. “Come on, we’re going out.”
“Out?” I squeaked, sitting up and nearly knocking my wine glass over. By some miracle, I managed to catch it. I think I was actually less clumsy when I was drunk. “Out where?”
“Dancing. I feel like dancing.”
“I don’t h-have any suitable c-clothes with me.” And I really didn’t want to go out. I hated being around strangers or crowds, or in pretty much any sort of social situation that involved interacting with other people.
She shook her head. “Honey, you don’t have those sort of clothes period. Come on, I’ll dress you, put some makeup on, and do your hair. We’ll go see if we can’t pick up a couple of cowboys.”
“I don’t w-want to p-pick up a cowboy.” There was only one man I wanted. But I couldn’t have him.
“Then we’ll dance and forget our worries.”
Our worries?
Before I could question her about that, she turned towards the bedroom. I got up, swaying slightly. I’d just go for an hour. Enough to get Lola off my case.
Luke
I knocked on Ariana’s door. She wasn’t answering. Damn it. I’d waited too long to come back to her. It was nearly eight in the evening, and the sun had just disappeared over the horizon. We needed to talk. About that kiss. About Caroline. I needed to let her down gently. I wasn’t the man for her. I wasn’t good enough for her.
I knocked again. Where was she?
“Hold your horses,” a gruff voice said.
I froze. Was that Van?
The door opened to reveal my half-naked brother. His hair ruffled as though he’d been sleeping. Acting on instinct, I drew back my fist and swung.
Chapter Seven
Ariana
“I d-don’t know if this is a g-good idea,” I said nervously looking around the crowded bar. There was a large dance floor with booths and tables set along the walls. Only a few people were up dancing. They were much braver than me. No way could I be the center of attention like that.
“It’ll get better,” Lola assured me. “Don’t worry, I’ll do all the talking. Come on, I’ll get us some drinks.”
Not giving me a chance to protest, she grabbed my hand and steered me towards the bar. I’d sobered up some on the walk over so I guessed one drink couldn’t hurt, and it would give me something to do other than stand there like a deer in headlights.
Half an hour later and two drinks down, I was swaying to the music and trying to keep myself upright.
“Want to dance?”
I didn’t look up; certain the question was aimed at Lola. This would be the fourth, or maybe the fifth, guy who’d asked her to dance. She hadn’t said yes to any. That was something I loved about Lola; she was extremely loyal. She wouldn’t leave me standing there alone. Of course, she was probably worried I’d run out on her. I wouldn’t. I’d never just leave her. Friends stuck together.
“Hey, you want to dance?” A hand grabbed mine, and I looked up into a pair of hazel-colored eyes. The owner of which smiled at me. “You okay?”
“Y-y-yeah.” Shoot.
He didn’t seem put off by my stuttering. His smile widened.
“Is that yeah you want to dance or yeah you’re okay?”
“It’s both. Course she wants to dance.” Lola grabbed my drink and gave me a push. Huh? So much for sticking together. I turned to glare at her as hazel eyes led me onto the dance floor.
She just gave me a thumbs-up.
“My name’s Blake,” he said.
“Ariana,” I told him, speaking loudly to be heard over the music. At that moment, the music died, and everyone turned to stare at me.
I groaned, not believing I’d just yelled my name to everyone in the bar. Blake simply chuckled and pulled me close.
“I’m n-not g-good at this,” I told him.
“Dancing?” he asked, swaying as the music started up again.
I nodded. Yeah, that, and everything else.
“Then just let me lead. I won’t let you fall.”
Luke
“What the fuck, Luke?” Van glared at me as he held a bag of frozen peas to his swelling eye. “Have you lost it?”
“Where’s Ariana? Is she in the bedroom?”
“I don’t know. I’m guessing she’s not here.”
Not here? “What are you doing here?”
“Well, I was sleeping until some idiot banged on the door and then punched me in the face.”
I took a breath in then let it out slowly, releasing some of my tension. “Why are you sleeping here?”
“Because I refuse to sleep in that house. I don’t care if he’s dead. I can’t sleep there. So I crashed in Ariana’s spare bedroom. What’s it to you?”
I didn’t intend to get into that. “So where is Ariana? I just came from the house, and she’s not there. It’s dark outside, shouldn’t she be here?”
“Far as I know she doesn’t turn to dust when it gets dark. Why you lookin’ for her?”
I just growled at him, and he threw his hands up then turned to the fridge to pull out a couple of beers.
“Since when does Ariana drink beer?” I asked, taking one.
“She bought them for me when I told her I was coming to stay for a bit.”
“You stay with her often?” I tried to keep the jealousy from my voice but knew I was unsuccessful when he sent me an amused look.
“Not here.”
What the hell did that mean? Before I could question him, he frowned and picked up a piece of paper from the counter. When he opened it, I could see his name scrawled on one side.
“You know anything about this?” Van asked quietly, placing the note down and turning it around so I could read it.
Van,
Gone to Lola’s. Be back tomorrow.
Leftover pot roast in the fridge if you’re hungry.
Ariana xo
“Lola is Ariana’s best friend,” Van told me.
“I know that.”
Van moved into the spare bedroom. When he walked back out, he was dressed in jeans and a shirt, and carrying a pair of black shoes.
“Where you going?” I asked.
“Lola’s.”
“You know where she lives?”
“Yep.”
“Can you speak in sentences with more than one word?”
“Yep.”
I sighed. “I’m coming with you.”
He stared up at me. “Not unless you tell me what you did to make Ariana run off.”
“What makes you think I’ve got anything to do with her leaving?”
“Educated guess. Plus, you’ve got a guilty look on your face.”
I clenched my jaw. I wanted to tell him it was none of his business. But I knew he wouldn’t take me unless I agreed and I had no idea where Lola lived.
“Fine.”
Van stood and moved to the front door. He grabbed the key off the hook on the way out and locked the door. I climbed into the passenger side of his truck.
“How do you know where Lola lives?” I asked.
“I’ve visited Ariana a few times when I’m on leave. She always comes to Kingsville since I wasn�
��t about to come back here. I stay in a motel, and she stays with Lola. You ever actually talk to Ariana? Or do you just boss her around?”
“I don’t boss her around,” I defended.
“Yeah, you do. Look, I get it. I’m a dominant guy. I like to be in charge. Not into the same shit you are, but Ariana is important to me. I get bossy with her. But I also talk to her. I try to figure out what’s going on with her. Ariana doesn’t like to tell people her troubles. She prefers to help people rather than ask for help. So you’ve got to make sure she feels safe enough to talk to you.”
“Like she feels safe with you?”
Van nodded. “Yeah. Ariana and I know shit about each other no one else does. She keeps my secrets. I keep hers.”
I forced myself to keep quiet. Where the hell had my control gone lately? I’d fought with Joel. I’d punched Van. I was on edge. I’d never felt this way before. I always tried to keep a lid on my temper, never wanting to end up like the old man, ruled by my anger.
“Nothing to say about that?” Van asked.
“I’ve been reacting without thinking lately, I don’t like it.”
“Ah, remind you too much of the old man? Yeah, I get that. But we’re not him. And we won’t ever be. Not if we remember the hell we went through. I’ll never put anyone else through that.”
“Mac thinks that the old man is the reason I’ve always gone after women I know I’ll never have a real relationship with.”
“Yeah, that and you go for women you think you can fix.”
“What do you know about it? You’ve been gone for years.”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on around here.”
How? Oh, Ariana.
“So what happened between you two?”
“I kissed her,” I told him.
“About time.”
“What?”
“About time you acted. I was starting to think we’d all be old and gray before you made your move.”
“It was the wrong move to make.”
“Because of your girlfriend.”
“Yes, of course. She’s gone now. She knew it wasn’t working out.”
“So I’m guessing Ariana ran off after kissing you because she feels guilty as hell. And now you’re chasing after her to tell her it’s over with that other chick, that you realize Ariana is the one for you, and you want to get married and have half a dozen kids.”
Luke (Bad Boys of WildeSide Book 3) Page 7