by Ao Jyumonji
“No, it’s nothing to be sorry for,” Haruhiro said. “You can’t stop yourself from getting hungry. Look, we just so happen to have some bread here, so why not eat?”
“I bought that, and you know it!” Ranta snapped. “At Tattan’s Bakery, the cheap place near West Town! I bought the bread, so it’s all mine!”
Ranta was being a cheapskate, so Haruhiro and Moguzo decided to go get breakfast. Maybe he didn’t want to be left alone, because Ranta tagged along, snacking on bread. Along the way, he explained what an order was, acting as if the knowledge made him important somehow.
According to Ranta, orders were issued for volunteer soldiers by the Alterna Frontier Volunteer Army Corps, Red Moon. However, despite being called orders, nobody was required to follow them. Volunteer soldiers decided for themselves whether to accept or not. That said, if someone suitable for the job chose not to accept without good reason, it did tend to cause other volunteer soldiers to look down on them.
Well, that just meant that, if there was an order it looked like they could handle, it was best to just shut up and take care of it quickly.
Of course, there was a more concrete reason why they would want to accept an order.
Money.
The reward for an order consisted of an advance payment and another payment on completion. As soon as they accepted an order, a volunteer soldier could collect the advance. The rest would be paid out if and when the task was successfully completed.
If they pocketed the advance, but then didn’t work on the order, there would be a fine. If the volunteer soldier in question was judged to have acted maliciously, they would be summoned to the volunteer soldier corps office. If they didn’t respond to the summons, a bounty would be placed on their head, making them a target for bounty hunters.
Incidentally, the work of capturing bounties was treated like an order. Sometimes, there would be bounties placed on criminals or dishonest merchants, and there were some volunteer soldiers who preferred the bounty hunter-like work of pursuing these targets.
The compensation for orders came not as cash, but as a military payment certificate used by the Frontier Army. These were called military scrip, and were thin chits made of copper. Basically they were paid with a promissory note. Military scrips could be exchanged for cash at the Yorozu Deposit Company, or they could be used in place of money at businesses that had a contract with the Frontier Army or Volunteer Soldier Corps.
While Ranta was explaining all this, Haruhiro and Moguzo decided to go to the food stall village near the craftsmen’s town to eat a noodle dish called soruzo.
The stall village was busy with craftspeople even early in the morning, and at this time of day, it was even more lively than the marketplace in the northern district. Soruzo was a dish of meat thrown into a salty broth along with yellow noodles made from wheat flour. Haruhiro hadn’t thought it was that good at first, but it felt strangely familiar to him, and so he came to eat it sometimes. Having eaten it for a while, he’d gotten hooked on the stuff, and now it felt really tasty to him.
As Haruhiro and Moguzo were blowing on their noodles to cool them, Ranta, who had been munching away at his bread, finally gave in to temptation and ordered a bowl, too.
“—Yum...! This’s the stuff! It’s so good! Soruzo’s awesome!”
“Oh, come on, you’re exaggerating... Also, your nose is running, Ranta,” Haruhiro said.
“Of course it’s running! It’s gonna run like crazy! Haruhiro! Don’t you get it?! This soruzo, it’s perfect!”
“S-Soruzo’s delicious, huh,” Moguzo said, already starting on his second bowl. No—
“...Moguzo, correct me if I’m wrong, but is that your second—No, third, bowl?” Haruhiro asked.
“Y-Yeah. It’s easy to eat, you know, so I just keep wolfing it down faster and faster...”
“Gwahahaha!” Ranta laughed. “Nice work, Moguzo! You’re not my rival for nothing! But... I’m going for it, too! On to the second bowl! Pops! Hit me with another one!”
“Coming up!”
“Well, it’s fine if you want to...” Haruhiro scooped up the noodles with his wooden fork and slowly carried them to his mouth.
Okay, sure, they’re delicious. But, it’s morning. I can’t wolf down food like that. It’d be too heavy for my stomach.
“Still, though, Moguzo, this is delicious and all,” Ranta said, “but, you know what? If we tried to make it ourselves, I bet we could, don’t you think? Well?”
“Huh...? Ah, yeah, uh... I’m not so sure...? The soup might be a bit hard...”
“No, man, we could do it,” said Ranta. “This stuff is easy. You just throw a bunch of ingredients in a pot. Just boil that, and it’ll come out tasting all right, I’m sure.”
“No... I don’t think it’s that simple... You know?”
“You think? It feels like we could pull it off. What’s in this soup?”
“Let’s see, probably chicken bones... Pork fat, too, maybe. Then there’re the vegetables... there’re onions and carrots in here.”
“Oh? Good job figuring all that out, Moguzo. Me, I had no clue, you know?”
“...I’m amazed you said you could make it, then,” Haruhiro took a shot at Ranta, but he got ignored, as expected.
I’m fine with that, Haruhiro told himself. Really.
Moguzo brought his bowl to his lips and drank the soup, his brow furrowing. “...Yeah. If you add garlic, and maybe ginger... It might give it a more satisfying flavor.”
“Ohh? Ohhh?!” Ranta exclaimed. “Moguzo, buddy, we could do it, don’t you think? Once we make some money, what say you and me open a restaurant?!”
“Ah, hahaha... But, we’re volunteer soldiers and all...”
“Buddy, don’t sweat the small stuff like that!” Ranta declared. “If we’re bringing in money, it doesn’t matter what job we’re doing. Besides, it’s not like we can stay in that violent world for the rest of our lives. Eventually, we’ll retire, and then we’ll need to start a second career. You know what that is? A second career. It’s a second, uh, you know. What is it? Um, it’s a second... career, yeah.”
“You just said the same thing again,” Haruhiro said helpfully.
“Shut up, Haruhiro. Just shut up. Seriously. Seriously. You can get lost! I’m having an important talk with Moguzo here! Anyway, how about it, Moguzo? Want to do that with me? Ranta and Moguzo’s Soruzo Shop. We’ll split the profits seventy to me, thirty to you... is what I’d like to say, but I’m fine with splitting it fifty-fifty. We’ll start studying now, so we’ll be ready when the time comes. How about it? Hm?”
“A restaurant, huh?” Moguzo looked like he wasn’t entirely against the idea. “It could be nice. Doing something like that. Compared to fighting... Well, it seems easier at least. I’ll think about it.”
“Yeah! You think about it! Be super positive about it! We’re gonna make so much money! Hand over fist! We’ll open a whole chain of restaurants! First, we start with ten locations in Alterna! Our goal will be 1,700 across all of Grimgar! You and I could do it, too! Well, that’s a long way off, though!” Ranta noisily slurped his soruzo soup, then let out a stinky, satisfied belch. “—So! Finally, I think it’s time for me to talk about the order! Are you mentally prepared? Am I good to start? I am, right? Don’t you tell me otherwise at this late stage of the game.”
“You’re being seriously annoying, so just tell us already...” Haruhiro muttered.
“Haaaaruhiroooo! When you call people annoying, you’re being one hundred! Nay! One thousand, ten thousand, no, no, no, five hundred million times as annoying! Get that through your head already!”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“You only need to say ‘yeah’ one hundred times,” said Ranta.
“Yeah—Wait, not one time, one hundred times?! That’s too many!”
“Don’t underestimate me! Brilliantly surprising people is what I, Ranta-sama, do!”
“...Even Moguzo’s laughing,” Haruhiro said.
&nb
sp; “S-Sorry,” Moguzo murmured. “It’s just, that one was funny...”
“Mooooguzoooo! What do you mean ‘that one’?! It’s not just that one, it’s all the ones! I’m always funny! The wandering comedian king, Rantaman, that’s what they call me! If you doubt my one-in-a-hundred sense of humor, even if you are my future business partner, I’m not going to be able to forgive you!”
“One-in-a-hundred?” Haruhiro asked. “That doesn’t feel like anything special to me.”
“Haaaaruhiiiiro-kuuuun...” Ranta said.
“...What’s with that way of saying my name? It’s kind of creepy.”
“I meant to say one-in-a-hundred-million, but I accidentally only said one-in-a-hundred, yeeees. Do you get it noooow?”
“Well, if so, that’s fine. Now tell us about the order. This is going nowhere.”
“That’s your fault!” Ranta shouted.
“Don’t try to turn this on me, like I’m the bad guy...”
“You are the bad guy!”
“Enough already, just talk! What is it, this current order?!” Haruhiro snapped.
“Mwahahahahaha! Don’t let this shock you, okay?!” Ranta suddenly stood up, wiggling both his arms, imitating... snakes? Or something... with them. “It’s this!”
“...No, there’s no way I’m going to be able to figure it out from that,” Haruhiro said.
“It’s a two-headed snake!” Ranta had his right-hand snake turn and say hello to his left-hand snake. “The operation to retake Deadhead Watching Keep and Riverside Iron Fortress, code name: ‘two-headed snake’!” Participating in this operation, let it be no secret, is the order! Well, the deadline for going to Riversides’s already passed, and they say that one’s a job for experienced teams, so if we’re going to take part, it’ll be Deadhead we go to. The upfront pay is 20 silver, with 80 more on completion, making one gold altogether! That’s a solid gold coin! And that’s for each of us, you know?! That’s incredible!”
Moguzo’s eyes went wide, and he let out an “Oooh...”
“One gold coin...” Haruhiro thought that was a lot. But, at the same time, he remembered that when they’d lost a comrade, Renji had come over to him and said, “Consolation money. Take it.” and thrown him a gold coin.
Renji sure is rich, huh, Haruhiro thought, even though it was silly to dwell on it.
“Now, Deadhead,” Ranta said, sitting back in his chair, “is here.” He pointed to a spot on the table. “...No, maybe here? Maybe around here? Or could it be around here?”
“Won’t any spot do?” Haruhiro asked.
“Well, yeah. But, you know. It’s an orc fortress 6 km north of Alterna. When I say 6 km, that sounds pretty close. Or, rather, it is really close. Of course, our Frontier Army has attacked the fortress many times, and even taken it in the past. However, they can never hold it long. Why do you think that is?”
“Hmm...” Moguzo crossed his arms in thought, tilting his head to the side. “...Because they have no guts... or something? That’s not it, huh...”
“Of course it isn’t! No, no! The answer is, right around here...” Ranta pointed to a spot near the edge of the table. “Riverside Iron Fortress. This fortress, it’s about 40 km west of Deadhead, on the bank of a jet river, and if you go further upstream, you’ll run into the territory of the former Kingdom of Nananka. You know what that is? No, I bet you don’t. The former Kingdom of Nananka. It means orcs, man, orcs. Nowadays, there’s a country full of orcs there. So, they’re able to travel by boat and carry in supplies and troops. Deadhead’s a teeny-tiny little keep, but when the Frontier Army attacks, they raise smoke signals, or something. When they do that, reinforcements get sent in from Riverside immediately.”
Haruhiro furrowed his brow. “But it’s a full 40 km away.”
“The orcish army’s got what they call dragoons,” Ranta said, taking on a funny pose.
Is that supposed to be some sort of animal? An octopus? No.
“They’re called dragoons, but they don’t ride dragons, they ride these huge lizards,” Ranta said. “The big lizards are called horse-dragons. They’re crazy fast, and they can make the trek from Riverside to Deadhead in as little as an hour.”
“Ah,” Moguzo punched his right fist into the palm of his left hand. “Is that why we’re doing both at the same time?”
“Clever thinking, just what I’d expect from my business partner.” Ranta tried to snap his fingers, but they didn’t make a sound. He tried again a few times, but he just couldn’t get it to work.
Looks like he finally gave up.
“...Dammit,” Ranta muttered. “Curse you, dry skin.”
Haruhiro sighed. “Don’t try to blame your skin...”
“Don’t butt in on everything, even me blaming my skin! What are you, my mother-in-law?!”
“So, moving on... Where were we?” Haruhiro asked.
“Ignoring me, huh?! You’ve got guts, pal!”
“Riverside Iron Fortress, was it?” Haruhiro asked. “And Deadhead Watching Keep, they’re attacking them together... Wait, somehow, that almost seems like a war, don’t you think?”
“...Tch. You just insist on ignoring me. Haruhiro, didn’t you know? We humans have been at war with the orcs, the undead, and more, all this time.”
“Well, I had a sort of vague sense of that. But we didn’t seem to be going at it that hard, you know.”
“When the chance comes along, we go at it hard,” Ranta said. “Not that long ago, a bunch of orcs fought their way into Alterna, remember?”
“Ah... Ish Dogran? Was that it? The guy Renji killed.”
“Yeah, that’s it. Apparently, this got started as revenge for that. That was what got it going. And so, if we’re going to do it, rather than just harass them, we might as well take the whole fortress good and proper, that’s my thinking. We’ve taken Deadhead a number of times in the past, but they always take it back from us in no time. It’s Riverside that’s to blame for that. So, we’re not making the same mistake again.”
Ranta talks about it with a condescending tone, like “The Frontier Army’s learned from their mistakes, wahahaha,” but the more I hear, the more clear it is that this is a war.
“...Isn’t it kinda dangerous?” Haruhiro asked. “And, hold on, we’re not attacking with just volunteer soldiers... there’s no way that’d be it, right?”
“Obviously, the Frontier Army will accompany us, or rather, they’re the main force and we’ll be accompanying them,” Ranta snorted. “The volunteer soldiers are there in a supporting role, of course. Try to think a little. Are you a moron? Don’t just keep looking at it with sleepy eyes like that, Haruhirion.”
“Don’t talk about my eyes. I’ll stab you from behind. Also, drop the Haruhirion thing.”
“Haruhirion can’t take a joke, I see.”
“Come on, man...”
“U-Um,” Moguzo interrupted them. “H-How many people will be going to do that...? Like, numbers.”
“Numbers?” Ranta stroked his chin with his thumb. “Let’s see, at Deadhead there’ll be five hundred or six hundred from the Frontier Army, they were saying. As for volunteer soldiers, it was one hundred, maybe a hundred and fifty. Riverside’s one tough fortress, so I expect it’ll turn into a pretty intense battle. I hear Soma’s Day Breakers, ‘Red Devil’ Ducky’s Berserkers, ‘One-on-One’ Max’s Iron Knuckle, and Shinohara’s Orion will be participating there. Honestly, that’s some crazy stuff. ‘If you aren’t confident in your skills,’ it feels like they’re saying, ‘if you come, you’re gonna die, so don’t come, you’ll only get in the way.’”
I feel like I understand why Ranta’s acting like this’ll be easy, Haruhiro thought. Ranta’s taking it too lightly, that’s gotta be it. He thinks taking Riverside Iron Fortress will be hard, but Deadhead Watching Keep will fall easily. Actually, he probably thinks we’ll win the moment we start the attack.
“So, there you have it.” Ranta had both his hand-snakes make bitey motions. “One gold coin!
We’ve gotta do it, with that up for grabs! It’s decided! Yup! Let’s go and apply already! There’re three days left before the deadline, but you know that proverb about striking while the iron’s hot, right? Or was it an idiom? Well, whichever, it’s a thing they say, and I say I’ll go to the office right now and—”
“Y-You can’t do that,” Moguzo said, stopping Ranta before Haruhiro had the chance. “...W-We’ve got to let everyone else weigh in on it first...”
“Wahhh? Who cares about doing that? Just be like, ‘We’re doing this, okay, let’s go,’ and they’ll tag right along. They won’t even realize what’s up, not those girls!”
“You can’t be right about that...” Haruhiro said, scratching his head. “Well, I’ll bring it up with them tonight, and we can make a decision after that. There’s still time, so it should be fine.”
Ranta snorted. “Oh, fine, if you insist.”
Next time, I’m going to punch him. Haruhiro promised himself that.
Chapter 4: Don’t Go With The Flow
After a day of work in the Cyrene Mines, the party sold off their loot, grabbed dinner, and then all of them rushed in to Sherry’s Tavern.
“Of course, I’m getting beer, like a real man should,” Ranta declared.
“Well, m-me, too, then,” Moguzo added.
“I’ll get mead,” said Haruhiro.
“Ah, me, too,” said Merry.
“Yume thinks she’ll go with lemonade. It’s so bubbly and delicious.”
“...I’ll go with that, too,” Shihoru nodded.
Soon after, the drinks came around. Ranta took it upon himself to start running the show.
“Okay, everyone got theirs?! Good work today! Cheers...!”
“G-Good work today!” Moguzo said.
“Good work,” Haruhiro agreed.
“Good work, everyone,” said Merry.
“Good worky-worky-work,” said Yume.
“...Good work,” Shihoru added.
Ranta and Moguzo both knocked back their beers and chugged them. Moguzo was probably just doing it because he was parched, while Ranta didn’t want to lose to Moguzo.
Haruhiro, sipping away at his slightly tangy, but sweet, mead, couldn’t understand it at all. What the hell? Why is he so competitive?