You Have To Accept That Things Won't Always Go Your Way

by Ao Jyumonji

  Even now, he wasn’t sure if that had been the right call. If one of them had gone down while withdrawing, they would have been wiped out, or close to it. It had been pure chance that that hadn’t happened.

  It was a good thing it hadn’t, but Haruhiro couldn’t take credit for that. They had just gotten lucky.

  “...What do we do?” Ranta asked in a whisper.

  No one answered. What would they do?

  What do we do? Haruhiro thought. Hold on. It’s impossible. We can’t fight anymore. We’re totally outclassed. Even Renji and his party are struggling. Not just struggling; they were on the verge of going down. They may already have.

  Haruhiro raised his face. When he did, he realized he’d been looking down.

  All of his comrades’ gazes were focused on him. Why was that?

  —Oh, right.

  Was it because he was the leader? Because Haruhiro was the leader of this party? Did that mean he had to make a decision about what they were going to do?

  Well, even if they ask me, I can’t decide that, he thought. Don’t be ridiculous. Don’t push this off on me. I don’t have the power for that. The responsibility is too heavy. I can’t do it, okay? I mean, too many have died. There are a ton of people who’ve died. It’s scary, okay? All of this stuff. Just stop it already. Dying—

  She did die, didn’t she, he realized. Choco died, too.

  Are all of us going to die? Renji, his party, and then us? Everyone?

  We’ll die, just like Choco.

  We can’t do it.

  It’s already over. I want to say that to them, but I can’t decide anything. I don’t want to anymore. Stop it. I can’t take being leader anymore. I don’t care. Do whatever you want. You can all do whatever you want. Don’t look to me for anything. Don’t expect anything. I can’t bear that burden. I can’t, okay? Well, I guess we’re gonna die. We have no choice but to die. There’s nothing we can do about it. If you don’t like that, then someone else make a decision. Put out some ideas. Say, “Why don’t we do this?” Tell me what we can do.

  I can’t say it.

  If he said that, it was plain as day what would happen. The party would fall apart.

  —Ahh, he realized. No, It’s not like that. It’s not.

  That wasn’t it.

  In the end, this was all about him.

  Even in this desperate situation, he wanted to keep up appearances. He wanted to look cool. He didn’t want his comrades to give up on him in dismay. Haruhiro wasn’t an upstanding leader, and he probably couldn’t become one. Still, he didn’t want his comrades to think of him as the worst leader ever. He didn’t want everyone to hate him. He didn’t want to be given up on. Until the very end, he wanted them to think of him as a comrade.

  There’s a limit to how pathetic I can let myself be, he thought. Giving up... it doesn’t get lamer than that. It’s just too awful. But in the end, was this all I could manage? I’m not Manato so, well, I guess it was.

  “...I’ll go scope things out,” he said.

  Haruhiro and his party were huddled together a small distance up the spiral staircase. If they stayed here, they’d continue to hear the sounds of battle and voices, but they wouldn’t have a good idea what was going on.

  They were probably here because they’d rather not know. No one made any attempt to move.

  Haruhiro felt the same. However, it was better than staying here, exposed to everyone’s greedy—well, that word would be a bit unkind—clinging gazes that pleaded for him to do something. Besides, it wasn’t like he wasn’t feeling morbidly curious.

  Haruhiro went down the stairs and poked his head out. He clenched his teeth.

  “...Renji.”

  Team Renji was still fighting hard. Ron and Chibi-chan were bloody from fighting to protect Adachi and Sassa, while Renji’s epic duel with Keeper Zoran Zesh was still ongoing. Zoran was hardly scratched, while Renji was in such a state that you couldn’t even tell where his injuries were, but he was still on his feet, constantly moving to avoid Zoran’s two swords.

  Epic. Yes, epic was the only word to describe it.

  As for other surviving volunteer soldiers... there were still maybe five or six. The orcs had hardly taken any losses.

  But how had it come to this in the first place...?

  When they had first descended to the first floor and then climbed the stairs to the watchtowers, Zoran had been nowhere to be seen. Had he been hiding somewhere?

  There were doors on the first floor leading to places other than the stairs. All of those doors were open. That meant that volunteer soldiers had at least checked them for orcs. But they’d never found Zoran.

  Perhaps there was a secret basement or something. Zoran and his men could have hidden there, then come out when the volunteer soldiers went up to the towers. That could be it.

  Zoran’s attendants, including the three sorcerers, were around twenty people in total. Their strength was clearly a full level or two above the other orcs the volunteer soldiers had encountered today. They were a group of elites.

  Team Renji was five people, and there were six other—no, five other volunteer soldiers. Then there were Haruhiro and his party, for another six. The enemies outnumbered them, and they were probably stronger on average, too.

  But is this... is the difference in strength a hopeless one? Haruhiro wondered.

  It wouldn’t be long before the remaining volunteer soldiers were struck down, and then Renji and his party would fall one after another, rendering the situation hopeless. But now? Right now? At this point in time?

  —At this point in time... he thought.

  Assets. Not all of our strategic assets are here now. Kajiko and her Wild Angels probably haven’t come down from the watchtower yet. Their force had a total of eighteen people. Even if they’ve lost a few, that’s still around fifteen. Kajiko seemed tough, so maybe it’ll be possible to turn things around when they come.

  What about Bri-chan? He said something about checking on the main force. The detached force was originally supposed to serve as a diversion and to keep the enemy in check, with the main force breaking down the main gate and then taking the fortress. They’ve been delayed due to some unknown issue, but the main force ought to be here eventually. When they arrive, we’re guaranteed to have the upper hand.

  Do we wait until then? If we hide out in a watchtower until the main force arrives—No. We don’t know when they might arrive, and if all of Team Renji goes down before then, that’d be bad. If that happens, the enemy is sure to search the keep for any remaining humans. Even if we’re up in a watchtower, they’ll find us eventually.

  We can’t rely on the main force.

  But I want to count on Kajiko.

  Then should we stay here until Kajiko comes down? It’s a question of whether Renji and the others can hold out until then. To be honest, I want them to hang in there somehow. I don’t want to take any more risks.

  We stay here. Renji holds out. Kajiko comes. The tables are turned. That would be ideal, but there’s no guarantee it will happen.

  I want to save Team Renji, too, of course. Our party might be inconsequential small fry next to Renji, but we arrived in the same group. Renji and his party are being pushed to the brink. If I know that—no, more than know, I’m watching that—and then I do nothing, I’ll have trouble sleeping at night afterward.

  Besides, as assets in combat, we need Renji and his party to stick around.

  I don’t know how good Kajiko and her Wild Angels are, but if Team Renji and the other volunteer soldiers get wiped out, they’ll have equal numbers, or even be at a slight disadvantage. Zoran’s crazy strong, so I can’t imagine Kajiko’s guaranteed to win a fight like that. If Kajiko and the Wild Angels lose, our lives will be at risk.

  How long have I been thinking for? I don’t know. But there’s no time to dawdle around. That much is for sure. I’d better hurry. We’ll decide what we’re going to do.

  If he did nothing, Haruhiro—no, Ha
ruhiro and everyone else in his party—would die. That meant they were practically half-dead already. When he thought of it that way, it made things easier somehow.

  Choco. I may be seeing you soon. When that happens, let’s have a good long talk and recall the things we’ve forgotten one at a time.

  Haruhiro went back to his comrades.

  “Sorry, guys,” he said. “I know it’s scary, but let’s keep trying a little longer. We’re going to help Renji and the others. We’ll focus solely on the sorcerers. Aside from their sorcery, they’re nothing special.”

  He left out the “I think.” He deliberately chose to assert it as fact. He felt like that was being deceptive to his comrades, but also to himself. But for some reason, he didn’t have a guilty conscience over it.

  “One of those sorcerers is probably that Abael guy,” he continued. “He’s worth 50 gold coins. We can’t get Zoran, but we can kill Abael. Let’s take it. Our 50 gold.”

  “Fiiiiifty! Gold! Yeahhhhhhhh!” Ranta shouted.

  It was a good thing Ranta was so simple. With gold coins spinning in his eyes, Ranta rushed down the stairs.

  Haruhiro slapped Moguzo on the back. “Come on, Moguzo. We’re counting on you.”

  “Mm-hm!” He gave a manly response, which surprised Haruhiro a bit. Moguzo then followed after Ranta.

  Haruhiro nodded to Merry, Yume and Shihoru.

  Is this all right? he wondered. It is.

  When they finished descending the spiral staircase and set foot on the first floor, they immediately spotted a sorcerer.

  They would take them out one by one.

  Haruhiro pointed at Sorcerer A. “That guy!”

  Zoran and his orc attendants didn’t even pay attention to them. Haruhiro and the party charged forward as a group. Sorcerer A noticed Haruhiro and the others. He tried to open his pot, but it was too late.

  “Anger!” Ranta skewered Sorcerer A’s throat with his longsword.

  We’re off to an auspicious start, Haruhiro thought. But we can’t let it go to our heads. We have to keep our heads level, and stick to killing them one by one.

  One of the orc attendants came at them, but Moguzo let out a battle cry and blew him away.

  A sorcerer, Haruhiro thought. Found one.

  “Him next!” he shouted, pointing at Sorcerer B.

  As soon as he did, the orc attendants started to converge on them.

  They’re onto us, Haruhiro thought. Well, even if they are, we have to finish the job.

  They didn’t engage with the orc attendants. Moguzo howled and charged forward, cutting open a path, while Haruhiro used Swat to let him dash past them.

  “Ohm, rel, ect, nemun, darsh!” Shihoru shouted. She used Shadow Bond to stop an orc attendant, while Merry cried out and smashed another orc attendant’s shield with her priest’s staff to force it aside.

  “Star Piercer, meow!” Yume shouted as a series of throwing knives made the orc attendants back off and—

  Wait, meow? What are you meowing for? Haruhiro thought. Oh, whatever.

  Ranta was the first one to get close to Sorcerer B. This was where that technique showed up.

  “Exhaust Plus!” Ranta did an about face in front of Sorcerer B, then leapt backwards.

  From Sorcerer B’s perspective, the human who had come to attack him suddenly turned tail, then the next thing he knew, there was a butt flying at him. It must have been quite the shock.

  Sorcerer B was hit full on by Ranta’s hip attack and nearly fell over.

  Now, Haruhiro thought.

  He dashed past Sorcerer B’s side.

  Here. When he buried the dagger he was holding backhandedly into the nape of Sorcerer B’s neck, he felt it connect with something. He’d stolen Sassa’s best move, a Backstab as she passed by the enemy.

  Sorcerer B crumpled.

  “We’ve taken out two sorcerers!” Haruhiro bellowed.

  Hearing that, Team Renji and the surviving volunteer soldiers seemed to come back to life, pushing back against the enemy.

  It’s the flow, Haruhiro thought. The flow’s on our side.

  Don’t let your guard down, don’t get carried away, Haruhiro kept telling himself. Still, he also felt that if he let this chance slip by, he’d regret it. Which was the right answer? He didn’t know. But the situation would continue to change while he agonized about it. He didn’t have time to worry about making the wrong choice.

  “We can win!” he shouted.

  We’re going to ride this flow.

  “We can win!” he shouted again. “Push through!”

  Look, he thought. Once the flow is on our side, things like this happen.

  “Eryeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...!” a voice screamed.

  There it is, he thought. That scary voice. Kajiko. It’s Kajiko and her group.

  The Wild Angels came down from the watchtower with Kajiko at the lead. In their first charge, they didn’t so much cut down two of the orc attendants as demolished them. That was the kind of impression they left.

  They could do this.

  This was going to work out. This was the pattern for a total victory. That was what he thought, but...

  As the Wild Angels swarmed onto the first floor, the third and final sorcerer, who must have been Abael, let loose that flamethrower again.

  That wasn’t all. Abael also threw something.

  A rope? Haruhiro thought. No. It’s moving. Snakes. Those are snakes. More than just one or two of them.

  The sorcerer threw a large number of snakes at the Wild Angels’ feet. There were screams. The Wild Angels were panicking.

  Then Zoran Zesh abandoned Renji and charged in, slashing, slashing, and slashing like crazy. It was over in an instant. Four, then five of the lady warriors were mowed down.

  “Don’t falter!” Kajiko shouted, trying to stop Zoran.

  They traded blows. Kajiko’s sword intertwined with Zoran’s twin blades. Sparks flew.

  She backed down. Kajiko did. But it wasn’t so much that she’d backed down herself, as that she’d been forced back.

  “Damn!” she screamed. “We can’t take any more losses! Everyone except Mako, Kikuno, and Azusa, withdraw for now!”

  It seemed Kajiko intended to have the rest withdraw, keeping only the most experienced with her. Renji chased after Zoran, trying to get a slash in, but it was easily deflected.

  Zoran’s treating him like a child, Haruhiro realized. Treating Renji like a child. Nah, Renji is injured. He’s short of breath, too. He must be exhausted. Someone should do something about his wounds. It looks like Chibi-chan is treating Ron with her light magic. Light magic. The Heal spell can cure wounds from a distance. A priest. We have one. A priest other than Chibi-chan.

  “Merry! Use your magic on Renji!” he shouted.

  “Heal won’t work if he’s moving! It targets an area!” she yelled back.

  “It targets an area...” he murmured.

  I see. Heal is a spell that makes healing light shine on a specific place. Until the light heals your wounds, you need to stay put there. Renji’s fighting Zoran. There’s no way he can stay still in one place.

  “Still, we’ve got to let Renji rest a little!” Haruhiro called.

  “Me! I’m your man!” a voice shouted.

  That wasn’t Ranta. It was Moguzo.

  He seemed to be stressing his manliness. I’m your man, he’d said.

  Moguzo roared and howled as he charged fiercely into Zoran.

  Those hits are incredible, Haruhiro thought. They’re fast. Each and every blow is heavy. He’s like Death Spots. Zoran’s on the defensive now.

  Renji immediately tried to attack Zoran.

  —Come on! What do you think Moguzo’s fighting so hard for? Haruhiro thought, grabbing Renji by the arm.

  “No! Come get healed!” he shouted.

  “...Out of the way,” Renji snapped.

  “I’m not moving! Merry!”

  “Right!” Merry rushed over while making the sign of t
he hexagram, then held her palm up towards Renji. “—O Light, may Lumiaris’ divine protection be upon you... cure!”

  Bathed in the light of Lumiaris, Renji seemed to have resigned himself to it and didn’t move. Merry directed her palm to the wounds on Renji’s head, shoulders, and sides, healing them as she went. She healed and healed, but there was no sign of it ending. His breathing was ragged, and he was looking pale. Renji had bled out too much.

  Ranta was fighting an orc attendant. Yume was with a different orc attendant. Yet another orc attendant started attacking Shihoru. Haruhiro hurriedly intervened, using Swat to buy time.

  “Enough!” Renji struck down the orc that was attacking Haruhiro with one swing of Ish Dogran’s sword, then took off running towards Zoran. “I’ll take over, you dull-witted oaf! That’s my prey!”

  “No! Don’t try to handle things all by yourself!” Moguzo cried.

  Moguzo quickly shifted to the left of Zoran, leaving an opening on the right. Renji filled in that gap as if being sucked in and it turned into a two on one fight.

  “I’m not a dull-witted oaf!” Moguzo added.

  Moguzo attacked, swinging The Chopper around left and right. He continued his assault without ever giving his enemy a moment to catch his breath.

  Renji made the sword of Ish Dogran dance, too. Moguzo was sturdy while Renji was flexible. Moguzo had power while Renji had skill. That was how it looked. It was all Zoran could do to use his twin blades to fend off both of their swords. It seemed like it couldn’t possibly be true.

  But it was. This was real.

  “Yeah! That’s right!” Haruhiro shouted. “You’re no dull-witted oaf! You’re doing great, Moguzo!”

  He was like a totally different person. No. Maybe this was Moguzo. Moguzo had probably often been called slow, or dull-witted, and a lot of other nasty things. It had probably happened before he’d come to Grimgar, so he may not have remembered it, but he had internalized those insults, and Moguzo had lost confidence in himself. But by fighting alongside Haruhiro and the others, he had become a great, almost too great, central pillar of the party.

  Without Haruhiro there, the party could function so long as Merry or someone else took over as leader, but without Moguzo they’d be in trouble. None of them could replace him. Everyone felt that way; they all relied on Moguzo.