by T A Williams
‘Well, I suppose you can always drink water.’ She was smiling too.
‘Ssh, keep your voice down.’ He pretended to look around anxiously. ‘You don’t want anybody round these parts to hear such seditious words. You could be strung up.’
***
Over the next few weeks, Faye’s idea of maybe staying on down here in Provence after the end of her contract with Miss Beech grew in strength and took root, to the extent that she found herself actively considering contacting the employment agency to tell them she would not, after all, be needing their services.
She found herself thinking more and more about Gavin, sharing his pain and wondering whether he might some day become something more than just a good friend. She did her best to relegate any speculation to the back of her mind and concentrated on the book, seeing it grow day by day. All in all, she felt as happy as she had for a good long time.
Dominique and Elise came up to the pool and for coffee at least once a week, but Gavin didn’t. Dominique confirmed what Faye already knew: that he was fully occupied with the grape harvest, as were all the neighbouring farmers. By now, the harvest was in full swing and, just like he had said, everywhere Faye looked, there were tractors and trailers full of grapes, juice dripping on the road behind them, as they took their precious cargo to the Cave Cooperative, where most of the local wine was made. He hadn’t been exaggerating; an all-pervading smell of fermentation spread over the village as this year’s crop began its magical transformation into wine.
Attendance at the English classes dropped off as a result and some nights Faye only had a handful of students. At least this allowed her to bond better with the ones who turned up regularly, particularly Chantal. The two of them always went for a drink at the Coq d’Or after class and Faye discovered that, successfully overcoming her hearing problems, Chantal was just finishing a degree course to become a pharmacist.
Although the grape harvest made inroads into his attendance as well, Alain managed to come to most of the classes, although Faye had by now worked out that the attraction was not so much the English lessons as Chantal. She remembered what Dominique had told her about the dance coming up in October and hoped it would have the effect of putting these two shy people together. Towards the end of the month, Faye felt confident that the students were going to be ready for their baptism of fire with a native speaker, in the shape of Gavin, and resolved to set that up as soon as he could manage.
One evening, after the lesson had finished at ten o’clock, a few of them went over to the café for a drink and Faye was subsequently delighted to see Alain offer Chantal a lift home and to hear her accept. So it was that Désirée and Faye were left on their own as they sat outside at a pavement table, chatting over their drinks. Even though they were now into autumn, the air was still warm and Faye could feel the residual heat of the day’s sunshine radiating out from the stone walls of the building behind her. She sat back and stretched her legs, her eyes vaguely focused on a tattered poster on one of the lime trees advertising a circus, bleached by the sun to almost the same colour as the bark.
Désirée was interested to know about Faye’s background and what she was doing at the chateau. Faye told her about her years teaching in London, but skirted round the subject of Miss Beech’s biography. After a bit of probing by Désirée, Faye ended up telling her about Didier as well and was pleased to be able to talk about him and his infidelity quite dispassionately. Désirée expressed interest.
‘And is there somebody new now?’
Faye shook her head. ‘No, I’m off men for the foreseeable future. Too much trouble.’ Finally, she decided she had revealed quite enough about herself, so she went on the offensive.
‘So, I understand you’re a perfume manufacturer. Is that right?’
‘The company makes perfume, but I’m not involved on the production side. My job’s in sales and marketing.’
‘Your English is really pretty good. Do you use it a lot?’
Désirée shook her head. ‘Not really. I’m certainly not fluent enough to conduct negotiations in English. We’ve got specialized people for that.’
‘And what about you and men? Are you here with a boyfriend or husband?’ Faye had already observed the lack of a wedding ring on Désirée’s finger.
‘I was married, but it didn’t work out.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sure you’ll find somebody else.’
‘I think I already have.’ With that, Désirée gave her a wink, swallowed the last of her drink, and stood up. ‘Anyway, goodnight and thanks again for a super lesson.’
***
Faye’s father had taken the plunge and booked a ticket to fly over to Nice in mid-October and Faye hoped the warm weather would hold. She was still swimming regularly and this, coupled with her dog-walking, ensured that she successfully managed to combat the ravages of Claudette’s delicious biscuits. She and Miss Beech worked through the diaries for the Seventies, Eighties, and Nineties, until they reached her very last movie, early in the new century.
After that film, Miss Beech had decided to lower the curtain on her illustrious career and retire to St-Jean with her dearly beloved third husband, Marcel, the Marquis. She still hadn’t made up her mind whether the tale of what had happened in 1955 should be part of the book and Faye didn’t press her to decide. She had more than enough to write, but she knew that some time soon, preferably before the end of the month, she would need to know, in order to ensure the book was completed by Christmas.
Ever since Miss Beech’s decision to tell Faye about the events of her first year in Hollywood, the two of them had grown closer. Whether it was because Faye had told her she would have liked to have her as a mother or for some other reason, Faye sensed real affection developing between them. They often just sat together and chatted about ordinary everyday things in no way connected with the book.
One thing they discussed more and more was whether Faye should stay on in Provence or head back home to pick up her teaching career once more. As October dawned, Faye was satisfied that it looked very much as though she would be able to finish the book well before Christmas as she had hoped. On the one hand she looked forward to the sense of accomplishment she knew she would feel, while, on the other, there was the ever-present knowledge that the end of the book would mean the end of her contract. And the end of her contract would mean the big decision would have to be taken. What to do and where to live?
Early in October, there was the Fête du Vin in Gavin’s big barn. Dominique, who was now a close friend and a regular visitor to Faye and the pool, had eagerly accepted Faye’s offer to help with getting everything ready, and it turned out to be a lot of fun. It also had the advantage that Faye got to see a lot of Gavin for a few days and she enjoyed his company. She leapt in to help as much as she could, enjoying feeling a part of the St-Jean community.
Huge rectangular bales of straw were positioned all round the sides of the cavernous old barn by Gavin and Rémy with the aid of a tractor. The old milking parlour behind the barn became a temporary kitchen, and trestle tables were set up all the way around the barn itself so everybody could sit and eat. Wine arrived from the Cave Cooperative and was set out on all the tables in readiness. Big plastic bottles of mineral water were distributed, as was bread, which arrived from the boulangerie in tall cardboard boxes, the baguettes sticking up out of them like so many fingers. Paper plates and plastic cups, knives, and forks were provided, but when the time came, Faye noted that lots of the participants brought their own cutlery.
The tables were decorated with pots of flowers, arranged artistically by a group of local ladies, led, bizarrely, by Claudette’ son, Albert, aka Obelix. Although he was head and shoulders taller than any of the accompanying ladies, and indeed most of the men, the delicate touch his mother had noted in his embroidery was much in evidence with the flower arrangements.
A low stage was set up in one corner and a local DJ appeared in a battered Citroën van and set up
his equipment in readiness. Periodically, as starting time approached, bursts of ridiculously loud music were belted out of the loudspeakers and Faye had a feeling they were all in for a noisy night.
When everything was ready, Faye dashed home to shower and change. It was a warm night and she chose to wear a light, short summer dress that showed off her suntanned legs to advantage. She hurried back down so as to help when people started to arrive, and she and Dominique took up station at the entrance, greeting the guests. Faye was pleased to see that she was starting to recognize, and be recognized by, quite a few of the locals. She smiled at everybody and was delighted to see smiles in return.
Gavin, inevitably, was busy doing all sorts of things, but she glimpsed him from time to time, looking worried, but as gorgeous as ever, wearing a light blue shirt and jeans, espadrilles on his feet, his shirtsleeves rolled up. Punctually at seven o’clock, the Mayor stood up to speak. He was wearing his formal tricolore sash and, although the microphone had been set too high for him, he managed to get his speech across, congratulating everybody on a year of good harvests and thanking Gavin and Dominique for their generosity “in spite of their tragic circumstances”. Faye was beside Dominique at the time and gave her friend’s hand a little squeeze to show solidarity.
Once the speech was over, the meal began with hefty chunks of pâté, slices of local salami, bowls of salad and, unexpectedly, bottles of cornichons – huge pickled gherkins. Faye was squeezed onto a table between Dominique and Rémy. On the other side of Dominique was a very pleasant man introduced to Faye as the local doctor, and beyond him Faye had managed to engineer things so that Alain was sitting beside Chantal.
Beyond them was Gavin, although he was constantly rushing off to do one thing or another. Faye caught his eye and smiled at him from time to time, but didn’t have the opportunity to exchange any conversation with him.
The starters, eaten with the wonderful fresh bread and washed down with the local wine, were very good, and when Faye went round to help clear up, she was delighted to find very few leftovers. That was always a good sign. As soon as those plates had been removed, the main course started to appear. This year the organizers had decided upon paella, brought to the tables in massive metal pans, heated up in the milking parlour. The paella itself was full of chicken, sausage, and shellfish and was really remarkably tasty, considering that this was mass catering. The red and rosé wine went really well with it and these dishes, too, were all but cleared by the time everybody had eaten their fill.
As Faye came out of the kitchen after clearing the last of the paper plates and the empty paella dishes, she bumped into Gavin – literally. As she recoiled, he reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders to steady her. ‘Sorry, Faye, I wasn’t looking where I was going.’
Faye couldn’t care less. He could bump into her any day of the week. ‘I’m fine, Gavin. I see you’re still working too hard.’
‘As the dance is here at my place, I want it to be a success. Anyway, you’ve hardly sat down yourself all day. In fact, come to think of it, I haven’t had a chance to say hello properly either.’ Pulling her gently towards him, he kissed her lightly on the cheeks and she felt his hands give her bare shoulders a little squeeze as he did so. She looked up into his eyes, a big smile on her face.
‘Bonsoir, Monsieur.’
‘Bonsoir, Mademoiselle.’ He was smiling back down at her and it reached deep inside her.
‘Attention!’ Monsieur Leclerc, carrying a tray bearing a mountain of cheese, smiled apologetically and forced them to step apart. Faye returned to her table, doing her best to analyse the effect of the touch of Gavin’s lips against her cheeks. Somehow she had felt something more there than just a normal reaction to a cheerful greeting by a close friend and it troubled her. Did this mean she was coming round to thinking that, as Miss Beech had said, the time was ripe for another relationship? Was that what she wanted? Did she think of Gavin that way? Did he think of her that way?
She didn’t have much time for reflection as the cheese was followed by slices of fruit tart and cups of coffee for those who wanted it and she had to help with the service. She refused the coffee, happy to help herself to some mineral water as she sat back down again and looked round the room.
As dessert was finished, the trestle tables were cleared and folded away, leaving the centre of the room for dancing. The DJ struck up, the lights were dimmed, and soon the improvised dance floor was full of people of all ages. Faye herself was asked to dance almost immediately by the first of a string of local men, including Obelix and Gaston Leclerc, and she had a whale of a time.
She was particularly pleased to see Chantal and Alain dancing together and she hoped this would prove to be the ice-breaker the two of them needed. Over to her right, she spotted Désirée dancing with a variety of men and Dominique dancing with the doctor. There was no sign of Gavin on the dance floor.
However, her evening improved considerably around ten o’clock when she felt a light tap on the shoulder. She turned and was delighted to see that it was him. He had to lean towards her so his mouth was almost touching her ear to make himself heard. ‘If you aren’t exhausted, would you like to dance?’ He took her hand and led her out onto the dance floor.
He was a good dancer and she enjoyed being with him. After a couple of fast numbers, the lights suddenly dimmed a lot more as the DJ clearly decided it was time for the guests to get intimate, putting on a lovely slow record. Gavin took both her hands in his and pulled her gently towards him. They danced decorously, hand in hand, for a good while before he was the first to crack. Relinquishing her hands, he caught her round the waist and pulled her towards him. She found herself smiling as she quite instinctively reached up with her arms, held him round the neck, and let her body press against his.
It was a lovely dance but, all too soon, he had to leave her, to go and sort out some problem in the kitchens. Still, she thought to herself, as she returned to her seat for a rest, it was the closest she had ever got to him and it had felt good, very good. In spite of her best intentions, she had definitely felt a connection with him and she was sure she had sensed him reciprocate.
The dance finished just after midnight and people started to drift away. Faye helped out with clearing up until all that was left in the barn were the bales of straw and the folded tables. She went round, saying goodnight to Obelix, Rémy, Dominique, and the others, until she found herself alone with Gavin. She reached up and kissed him on the cheeks.
‘Goodnight, Gavin. It’s been great.’ She felt his arms catch her round the shoulders and hold her tightly for a moment before he stepped back.
‘If you aren’t in a hurry, I’ve just found a bottle of Armagnac. Would you like a drop before you go?’
‘Just a very small drop. I’ve been drinking all night.’ In fact, she hadn’t really, apart from a couple of glasses of wine. She had been too busy.
Gavin slopped some of the golden spirit into two of the little plastic coffee cups and led her outside. Two or three benches had been made up of planks on top of building blocks for the smokers, who had by now all retired to bed. They sat down side by side, leaning back against the wall of the barn, and relaxed. Faye could feel his shoulder against hers and enjoyed the sensation. She settled back and sipped her Armagnac, feeling happy and contented. Above her, the stars filled the sky and the sound of a not too distant owl reinforced how silent it otherwise was. Gavin was the first to speak.
‘Faye, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.’ He sounded unexpectedly serious and she half-turned towards him. ‘While I’ve been harvesting the grapes over the past few weeks, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. And a lot of that thinking was about you.’ She felt herself tense. ‘Ever since that first time I saw you back in May, I’ve been fascinated by you. Apart from being spectacularly beautiful …’ Faye snorted, but he reached over and laid a calming hand on her arm, whose effect was anything but calming. ‘You’re gorgeous and you have to know that.
Anyway … the fact is that I like you; I respect you; I get on really well with you. Tonight, dancing with you, I felt that all the more.’
Faye felt a smile on her lips, but she said nothing, letting him continue.
‘Faye, I’d better make something clear.’ His tone had changed, sounding apologetic, regretful. ‘After the accident – you know I told you I was driving – it wasn’t just my body that was injured. My brain and my emotions were all at sea. I missed Jacqui, my wife, so very much. A huge chunk had been wiped out of my life in such a senseless, random way. I kept telling myself that as I was the one driving, I was somehow guilty.’
Faye was quick to cut in and try to reassure him. ‘But it wasn’t your fault at all. It was a runaway truck, wasn’t it?’
‘Yes, I know, everybody tells me that, but it doesn’t help, or at least it didn’t back then. Who knows? Maybe if somebody else had been at the wheel, they both might still be alive today. I don’t know, the brain’s a funny thing and, rightly or wrongly, I’ve had this guilt thing hanging over me that I just couldn’t shift. The result was that I couldn’t sleep at night, didn’t want to speak to anybody; all I wanted to do was work. I worked here on the farm like a madman, but it didn’t do any good at first. I was a real mess.’
He paused for a moment and Faye reached over and caught his arm in both of her hands, giving it an encouraging squeeze. She felt him take a deep breath. ‘As Elise began to grow, I knew what I had to do. As I finally started to come out of it, I made a promise to myself. My place is here, with Dominique and Elise. I owe it to them to care for them and look after them. It’s my responsibility. I would do anything for them. Even …’ Faye still had hold of his arm, but her warm, cosy feeling began to drop away. ‘Even stay with them for ever to give Elise a real father if that’s what it takes.’