by T A Williams
A bit later on, well after midday, as they were walking out through the hotel lobby on their way back to the car, Faye happened to turn her head and glance into the restaurant. There were already a good number of people in there and, to her surprise, at a table in the corner, she spotted Gavin. And, beside him was none other than Désirée. From the way she was clinging to his hand and looking into his eyes, this was clearly destined to be a romantic déjeuner à deux.
Faye quickened her pace and led Chantal and Alain out into the car park before the canoodling couple spotted them. As she climbed into Alain’s car, she felt as if a bucket of cold water had just been poured down her back.
The drive back to St-Jean was a nightmare for Faye. She had to do her best to keep up friendly conversation with Chantal and Alain while her brain kept churning over and over, as she tried to process what she had seen in the restaurant. In between commenting on the beauty of the Provençal scenery, she was struggling to make sense of what was happening. Only a short while ago Gavin had told her he liked her a lot, but that he was effectively not interested in any other woman at the moment, as he was concentrating on the wellbeing of his sister-in-law and her child. Now it looked pretty obvious that this story had just been a smokescreen. It was not because he was still in mourning, but because he already had somebody else.
But why bother to go to the trouble of being so nice and saying such lovely things about her? Surely it would have been simpler, and a hell of a lot more honest, if he had just told her he wasn’t interested? As for Désirée, she had made it quite clear to Faye that she had her sights set on some other man. Who better than her childhood sweetheart, Gavin? And the scene in the restaurant? All right, Désirée had only been holding his hand. It wasn’t as if Faye had caught them in flagrante delicto, after all. But it had been Désirée’s posture, leaning towards him, and the broad smile on her face, that screamed intimacy.
As far as Faye was concerned, there was little room for doubt. What she had seen had surely been two people out on a date.
For the rest of the weekend, Faye was under a cloud. This was not just because overnight the weather changed once more and clouds rolled down from the mountains, bringing more rain and reducing the countryside to a soggy mess. This was welcomed by Marlon, who set about paddling, swimming, and rolling in every muddy puddle he could find. For Faye, it was just further evidence that her world, so rosy only a matter of weeks earlier, was now far less promising. All she could do was to seek to put her disappointment behind her and concentrate on the book, which was nearing completion.
One thing this did was to make her seriously rethink the advisability of staying on in the village after her contract with Miss Beech finished. She was coming round to thinking that the best thing would indeed be to make a clean break and put the whole Gavin episode, such as it had been, behind her.
On the Sunday evening, with a heavy heart, she sent an email to the agency in London, asking them what sorts of vacancies were likely to be available for January.
***
By the end of November, the book was effectively finished and Faye printed off a final draft for Miss Beech and Eddie to read. At the same time, she emailed a copy across to her father and asked him to give his comments as well. She also remembered her promise to send a copy to Gavin. Although she had been avoiding him since that day up by the gorge, she rather wanted to get his opinion of the finished article as somebody unfamiliar with the events, but who could be trusted to keep it confidential. Or at least, she had believed she could trust him up to then.
However, when she realized she didn’t have an email address for him, she decided not to bother. She hadn’t spoken to him for a while and, indeed, had actually hidden a few days back when she had spotted the tractor approaching.
However, later that day, she ran into Dominique as she came out of the baker’s.
‘Hi, Dominique.’ She retrieved Marlon’s lead from the ring on the wall outside the door of the boulangerie and tucked her baguette under her other arm, leaning forward to kiss Dominique on both cheeks.
‘Hi, Faye, I’m glad I’ve seen you. Gavin keeps asking me if you’re okay. He says he hasn’t seen you out with Marlon for a while.’
‘Tell him I’m fine, thanks. Now it’s winter I’m walking a bit less.’
‘I’m sure he’ll be pleased to hear all’s well. Anyway, I’ve been meaning to ask you over for a coffee.’
‘Faye, Faye!’ Elise’s voice from her buggy was quite clear and Faye knelt down beside her, delighted to have been recognized.
‘Bonjour, Elise. It’s good to see you.’
‘Bonjour, Faye.’ The little girl’s pronunciation was quite clear now as she repeated her mother’s word: ‘Café.’
Faye looked up with a grin. ‘I trust that’s Elise offering me a coffee, rather than asking for one. She’s a bit young for that kind of thing.’
‘She’s just learnt the word and she uses it all the time. I overheard her asking George the dog if he wanted coffee this morning.’ Dominique was looking cheerful, in spite of the chill. The rain had stopped, at least for now, but the wind was strong and cold, fallen leaves being swept up into mini-tornados at the street corners. ‘What are you doing now? Got time for a coffee?’
Faye glanced at her watch. It was four-thirty and it would be dark in an hour or so. Marlon had already had a decent walk on the way down to the village, so he was all right. ‘That would be lovely. Do you mind if I bring Marlon?’
‘George’ll be delighted to see him.’
Together they walked back up the hill to the farm. As they came into the farmyard, Faye noticed that both cars were parked outside so, presumably, Gavin wasn’t far away. In spite of her best efforts, her heart began to beat just a little bit faster at the thought of seeing him, irrespective of his choice of luncheon partner, and this was immediately followed by a surge of annoyance with herself for being so stupid as to let her emotions get screwed up by yet another man.
Dominique opened the door to her part of the farmhouse and they all went in, without seeing any sign of Gavin. George was waiting just inside the door, tail wagging, his nose having already told him his brother was outside. Faye glanced down at him as Dominique unclipped Elise from her buggy and set her on her feet. ‘So, where does George live? Is he your dog or Gavin’s?’
‘He was Robbie’s dog originally.’ There was regret in Dominique’s voice, but her tone remained positive and Faye was pleased for her. ‘He lives here with me most of the time, but he and Gavin are best friends.’
‘A bit like you and Gavin?’ Faye couldn’t resist asking the question.
‘Just like Gavin and me.’ Dominique took Faye’s jacket from her and hung it up alongside hers while Elise struggled out of her coat and boots and unceremoniously dumped them on the floor before rushing off into the kitchen shouting, ‘Café!’ The two dogs followed her as Dominique met Faye’s eye for a moment. ‘I couldn’t ask for a better friend than Gavin. He’s been a rock.’ She retrieved her daughter’s coat and hung it up before leading Faye into the big farmhouse kitchen.
Faye had been here a few times now for tea or coffee with Dominique and she took her usual seat by the window, looking out into the garden to the rear of the property with its spectacular trees and tall clumps of oleander. Even on a cold day like today, there were still some remaining pink flowers to be seen on the bushes, although the wind was gradually stripping the blossoms away.
Marlon wandered over to check Faye was all right and she scratched his ears – the same sense of regret at her impending separation from him surfacing once again. Just the previous day she had received details from the agency in London of a prestigious school in Hertfordshire, to the north of London, who were looking for a teacher of French and English to A level. The pay was good, the place looked great, and it was exactly what she knew she wanted.
As she read it, she had found herself wondering if this were maybe a sign. Maybe the universe was telling her to give up
her Provençal dream and the impossible delusion of ever forming a closer relationship with a certain Provençal farmer, and go back to England. She hadn’t slept much the previous night as a result.
‘Coffee? Tea?’ Dominique’s question was directed at Faye, but it was immediately answered by a squeak from the floor.
‘Café!’ Elise appeared with a two-handled plastic cup and brandished it at her mother. ‘Café!’
‘Unlike Elise, I think I’ll have tea, please.’ She watched as Dominique took the cup from her daughter’s hand, filled it with milk and handed it back. Elise took it with a contented smile.
‘Café …’
Faye and Dominique had been meeting up like this either here or at the stables for some time now and they were getting to know each other really well. As she prepared the tea, Dominique told Faye about Elise and her second birthday party, finishing with a bit of news. ‘I’m going out for dinner tonight.’ She gave Faye a little smile.
‘Who with?’ Two years had now passed since the accident and Faye had noticed that Dominique had been looking and sounding more cheerful of late. Maybe this evening outing was a sign that she was moving on.
‘With Philippe.’ Seeing Faye’s expression, she elaborated. ‘You know: Philippe the doctor. You met him at the Fête du Vin.’
‘Of course. That sounds great. Where are you going?’
‘We’re going up to the Grand Canyon, to a restaurant overlooking the gorge, the Panoramique. I’ve never been there before, but they say it’s really good. Gavin was there recently and he says the food’s great. Philippe’s picking me up and Gavin’s babysitting.’
‘That restaurant sounds familiar. I’m pretty sure that’s the same place I went to with Chantal and Alain a few weeks back. The view was terrific. In fact …’ Faye hadn’t been intending to talk about Gavin at all, but seeing as his name and the hotel’s had been mentioned, she decided to try a little fishing. ‘In fact, I thought I saw Gavin up there.’
Dominique was busy making the tea, so Faye couldn’t see her face, but she heard her reply without hesitation. ‘That’s right. He told me he went up there for a work lunch.’
Faye suppressed a snort and was about to retort when Dominique carried on. ‘You know Désirée in your top class? She’s leaving the family business in Grasse and she wanted him to be one of the first to know.’ She came over with two mugs of tea. ‘It’s funny, before I met Robbie, I never drank tea, but now I love it, just like you have it, with milk, no sugar.’
Faye nodded and smiled, far less interested in Dominique’s taste in beverages than in the story of the business lunch. She took the tea and tried another little prod. ‘Thanks very much. You can’t beat a cup of tea. And what’s Désirée going to do?’
‘She’s moving to America – Boston, I think he said.’
‘Boston?’ Faye wasn’t sure she had heard right.
‘Yes, I’m sure that’s what he said. It’s her new man, you see. Did she tell you her marriage broke up a year or two ago?’ Faye nodded numbly. ‘Well, she met this American man some months ago and it’s really taken off, to the extent that she’s moving over there to be with him.’
‘Wow, how amazing.’ So apparently Faye’s reading of the scene she had witnessed was all wrong. But Désirée had been holding Gavin’s hand so tenderly … Faye’s head was spinning.
‘Would you like a biscuit?’ Dominique slid a box across the table towards Faye who shook her head. She had become so spoiled by Claudette’s mouth-watering biscuits, she had given up on any others. ‘You know Gavin and Désirée used to be very close?’ Seeing Faye nod, she continued. ‘I maybe told you they went out a few times when they were, I don’t know, maybe sixteen or seventeen, and they’ve stayed close friends ever since. I think she thinks of him as a sort of big brother. Certainly, Gavin’s a lot more suitable than her own big brother who’s always getting into scrapes. Did you hear he ran into the side wall of the church back in the summer? In his flashy sports car? Serves him right …’
As Dominique rattled off more of Désirée’s brother’s misadventures, Faye slowly tried to come to terms with the fact that she had been guilty of seriously misjudging Gavin. And Désirée for that matter. So their lunch together hadn’t been the romantic encounter she had imagined. She suddenly felt awful and knew she had to make it up to him in some way.
‘So does this mean Gavin’s starting to go out a bit more?’ She did her best to keep her tone detached.
Dominique shook her head. ‘Still hardly ever, to be honest, unless it’s a business thing. He just doesn’t seem interested.’ She gave Faye a little smile. ‘I even suggested he and you should go out somewhere one evening, but he said no.’
‘Why’s that, do you think? I mean the not wanting to go out thing, not just with me specially.’
‘It’s still the accident, Faye.’ Dominique’s face was expressionless. ‘I don’t think he’s really come to terms with it yet. He loved Jacqui dearly and her death hit him really, really hard. But it’s worse than that. He feels responsible, although that’s rubbish. The police report said there was nothing anybody could have done, but he still feels guilty all the same. I tried to talk to him the other day, on Elise’s birthday. It’s been two years now and we’ve both got the rest of our lives to think about.’ She shook her head sadly. ‘I’m afraid I didn’t get very far with him. He refuses to speak about it, saying he’s just happy to be alive, and to be here at the farm, working. Always working.’
Faye shook her head in sympathy, trying to stay positive. At least it sounded as though Dominique was starting to rebuild her life, even if Gavin hadn’t yet reached that stage. His refusal to talk about the awful events of the past, however, was not so promising. She sighed inwardly and returned to more practical matters. ‘I’m sure he’ll sort himself out before too long.’ She crossed her fingers as she spoke. ‘By the way, before I forget, have you got Gavin’s email address? He agreed to read the book for me.’
‘Of course. I wish my English was better, so I could read it myself.’
‘If you keep coming to my English lessons, you’ll soon be able to do that. You’ll see.’
‘Ah, but what if you disappear back to London at Christmas and we don’t see you again?’
In view of what she had just heard, Faye knew she was going to have to revise her ideas on what to do when her time with Miss Beech ended. ‘I still haven’t made up my mind. I’ve just had a job offer, but I’m seriously thinking I might stay on here in Provence. That way I’d still be able to continue the lessons.’
‘I do hope so.’ Dominique smiled at her. ‘And not just for the English lessons.’
***
That evening Faye invited her grandmother and Eddie over for an aperitif before dinner. Upon her return from Dominique’s house, she had sent an electronic copy of the book to Gavin, minus the dedication, as her relationship to Miss Beech was not yet in the public domain. She scrupulously avoided any form of intimacy, not even including a little x before her name. She had no intention of frightening him off. She was surer and surer how she felt about him, but she knew his response would only come when he was ready.
The conversation with Miss Beech and Eddie came round, inevitably, to the book. They had both already started reading it.
‘I’m already onto the fourth chapter, Faye. I love what you’ve written about the events of 1955. I cried as I read it, but that’s just me. You’ve done it so sympathetically and I can’t thank you enough.’ As ever, Miss Beech was very encouraging. ‘Have you sent your dad a copy?’
‘Yes. I’m sure he’ll get straight onto it. And I’ve sent a copy to Gavin as well, with strict instructions to keep it to himself. I’ve asked them both to send me their comments in good time well before Christmas.’
‘Goodness me, Christmas! I’d almost forgotten. It’s little more than a month away now. It’s a pity you won’t be here for Christmas, Faye.’ Miss Beech reached over and caught hold of Faye’s hand. ‘And have y
ou made up your mind what you’re going to do after Christmas? Are you going back to England?’
This had been uppermost in Faye’s mind for the past few hours and she knew she was close to a decision. ‘I’m thinking very seriously about staying here in Provence. Dominique says there are a number of houses in the village to rent and the Cave Cooperative want me to carry on with the English lessons.’ She looked across at her grandmother. ‘And I’d love to stay close to you, Anabelle.’ She felt her grandmother’s hand give hers a little squeeze.
‘And I’d love you to stay. Listen, Faye, there’s absolutely no need for you to go looking for a place to rent in the village. If you’re comfortable here in the stables, just stay here. Whatever you decide to do after Christmas, I’ve been meaning to tell you that. Consider the stables as your home or your second home. If you do decide to go back to the UK, then you’ll know you’ll always have somewhere you can come any time you want. If you decide to stay here, it’s yours. I’d really, really love to have you nearby.’
Faye was overcome, if unsurprised, by her grandmother’s generosity. ‘That’s so very, very sweet. I love living here and if I could stay close to the two of you, not to mention Claudette and, of course, Marlon, that would be amazing.’
‘And, of course, by staying here, you would only be a few hundred yards up the road from the farm.’ Miss Beech winked and Faye felt her cheeks flush. She tried to brazen it out.
‘That’s right. I’d be able to see Dominique and Elise regularly.’
Her grandmother’s eyes were twinkling. ‘And there’s somebody else at the farm, too, isn’t there?’
Faye found herself blushing even harder. ‘Yes, there’s Gavin, of course, but you know how things are with him.’
‘Just give him time.’ Just then Miss Beech had a thought. ‘By the way, isn’t it your birthday in December?’
Faye nodded. ‘The twentieth. I always used to hate having it so close to Christmas.’
‘And when are you going back to see your father?’