by I. A. Dice
Nadia ignored Nick’s remark. “How’s my apartment?”
“About that… You have to stay at mine for a few days. The painters weren’t available last week, but they’re starting tomorrow. They should be done by the weekend. You’ll move in then.”
I tried to ignore Nadia’s presence, but it was like trying to ignore my hand—impossible.
This had to be what dogs feel when they look at a bar of chocolate. They can look at it and smell it but can’t eat it. I was in the same position with Nadia. I had no right to have her. No wonder dogs give in when no one’s looking. The agitation and frustration in me were driving me nuts, and it had only been twenty minutes.
Nick turned back to face the road. “You’ve got three hours for a nap before everyone shows up, sis.”
“Actually, I wanted to see Dad first.” Nadia looked into the rear-view mirror, meeting my eyes. “Would it be much of a hassle for you to drop me off there, Thomas? I’ll get a taxi back.”
Instead of forming a coherent reply, I got side-tracked by how my name sounded on her lips. The s at the end was a touch longer than when anyone else said it…
“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” Nick cut in. “I’ll take you to him first thing in the morning.”
“I haven’t seen him for two years. I want to go today,” she sighed, defeated. “It’s okay. I’ll just get a taxi once we’re at your house.”
I searched for her eyes in the mirror. Since we left the airport, I spent more time watching Nadia than the road.
“I never said I wouldn’t take you. You want to go straight there or Nick’s house first?”
“Straight there, if you don’t mind.”
I put the indicator on, turned left at the traffic light, and parked in front of the gate ten minutes later, turning around to look at Nadia.
Fucking perfect lips. Fucking beautiful, big, sad eyes.
“Thirteen Lakeside View?” Nadia asked, double checking her brother’s address.
Nick confirmed and took his wallet out to give her money for a taxi—a taxi she wouldn’t take since I decided to come back for her. As inappropriate and idiotic as it was, I wanted to spend a few minutes alone with her, even if it meant blue balls for life. I wasn’t planning on confessing it to Nick in case he got the wrong idea.
Not that he shouldn’t. The things I wanted to do to his sister were exactly the things he failed to warn me about.
CHAPTER 2
NADIA
So thoughtful
I placed a bouquet of lilies I bought by the cemetery gate on the headstone and took a seat on a bench in front of Dad’s grave. Two years had passed since I sat on that bench, looking at the letters carved in marble.
Arthur Grimwald
A loving father, a caring friend.
For a while I stared at the words written on the piece of paper in my hand, then took a deep breath and opened my mouth, reading quietly.
Daddy,
I’m back for good. I know I still have another year before graduation, but I had to come home. I couldn’t stay in New York any longer. A lot happened in the last few months, and I don’t know where to begin.
I guess I should start by telling you about Adrian. We were dating for a year and a half. He was perfect, caring, loving, and so passionate about life. He stalked me for a month, begging for a date. I was tired of telling him no, and after that first date, we were inseparable.
You should have seen Adrian and Nick together. They were best friends after half an hour. Nick adored him, and so did I, but five months ago everything changed.
I’m not sure if I should tell you this. It’s so hard, Daddy, it’s all still fresh, and hurts so bad.
I paused, skimming over the next pages, wondering if I had the courage to tell my father why Adrian was no longer a part of my life. It took me a moment to read again, but when I did, I didn’t hold back. I cried and whispered the words, hoping that telling the story would help me move on.
Four pages later, I started the last one, feeling lighter, but still just a shadow of the girl I used to be. Happiness started escaping my life bit by bit on my eighteenth birthday. For a while I thought happiness was coming back, but it was just calmness before the storm. Now I was stuck—relieving the worst times over again, unable to move on.
I had to come back. I booked a flight, called Nick, and here I am, wondering if I did the right thing. He would never leave me like that. He was there when I was breaking; to pick up my pieces and put them back together so I could carry on living.
I should have done more, but I don’t know what else I could have done. Because of Mum, I struggle to trust people. Adrian fought for my trust for a long time, and once he failed me, there was no way I could trust him again.
I wish you could be here to tell me where I made a mistake, but even if you were, I would never tell you any of this. Just like I won’t tell Nick. He wouldn’t understand. It would hurt him too much.
On the bright side, now that I’m back, I can help Mel more with the wedding. Maybe that will take my mind off things. I wish you could enjoy it with us. It’ll be amazing.
I love you, Daddy, and I miss you so much.
Tears marked my face. Talking to Dad was hard, but it was the one thing I had left to feel connected to him. I wiped my face, stood up, and put the letter into my back pocket. After one last look at the grave, I walked away with my head down.
I had to get a taxi, but I would never use a phone at the cemetery. I took it out when I walked through the brass gate.
“Nadia.”
I glanced away from the screen. Thomas was halfway out of the car, waving me over, dark shades hiding his striking cinnamon eyes. I took a few wary steps in his direction, watching as he got back inside and leaned over the passenger’s seat to open the door.
“You didn’t have to come back. I would have called a taxi,” I said, getting into the car.
Thomas took the shades off and studied my face for a moment, his eyes growing heavy with what appeared to be concern.
“I had nothing better to do, and Nick asked if I would bring you back.”
“Did you wait long?”
He put the car in gear and pulled out onto the main road, the engine murmuring like a wild cat.
“Why were you crying?” he asked, eyeing me as if looking for an answer in my expression.
Few people would have the courage to ask, knowing where I spent the past hour.
“It was a difficult conversation.”
“Conversation?” he scoffed. “He’s not around to answer, so you can’t call it a conversation, Nadia. It’s a monologue.”
His ignorance brought a smile to my face. I enjoyed the brutal honesty. We were alike in that way—I didn’t care for vagueness either. Or at least I never used to. But recently, honesty was out of the question.
“That’s why I talk to him and not anyone else. Because he can’t answer. Because he can’t pretend, he understands what’s going on when he sure as hell wouldn’t.”
“How do you know?”
I forced a chuckle. “How could he if even I don’t understand it?”
My guard was down, my mind was at ease, and words poured out of my mouth before I could stop them. The few minutes of Thomas’s presence were enough to pique my interest. I couldn’t riddle him out. He didn’t come across as approachable, yet he was easy to talk to.
Thomas stopped at the traffic light and turned in his seat, narrowing his eyes. “That makes no sense,” he scoffed. “How can you not understand what you tell him about?”
“I have been asking myself the same question for five months now.”
He turned back to watch the road. There was something sexy and intimate about the way he sat with his elbow on the armrest, leaning toward the middle of the car, and consequently toward me.
The smell of his cologne filled the small space, and the muscles in my abdomen tightened as if on cue when he grazed his thumb across his bottom lip, waiting for the light to cha
nge.
“Maybe you should talk to Nick? Maybe an actual conversation would help?”
I shook my head, watching the road, when Thomas put the car in motion. “I know my brother, and I can screen-write that conversation for you. I know what he would say, and I know what impact my words would have on him. In fact, you’ll get a glimpse of it later when he asks about Adrian.” I rested my head on the headrest and closed my eyes. "Dad knows everything because he’s not here to judge me. With him, I can get things off my chest."
We turned onto a woodland road, and within a hundred yards, we arrived at our destination. Nick’s house looked like one of those pretty screensavers—a medium-sized, traditional British cottage surrounded by tall trees and a dark artificial lake.
Although lake was a slight exaggeration, it was more of a glorified pond. Nick always wanted to build a house by the lake, but there weren’t any available around London, so he settled for digging up his own little lake, then built the house next to it.
I smiled at how much had changed during two years of my absence. When I left, Nicholas lived in a one-bedroom apartment and drove an old Ford Mondeo that resembled a death trap.
He told me about the record label idea soon after our father died. That was the first time I heard about Thomas, but we had never met before. I spent most of my time at a psychiatrist’s office and then left for New York before the Record Label kicked off.
Fast-forward two years and he owned a beautiful house, was about to get married to the love of his life, and together with Thomas made an obscene amount of money thanks to C&G Records.
I was both happy and proud, but I regretted not being around to celebrate with him then and there.
“Thank you,” I told Thomas, my hand lingering on the door handle. “Will I see you tonight?”
He outstretched his hand over the back of my seat, his gaze jumping from my lips to my eyes. “You will, baby doll.”
The front door to the house opened, and I only managed a nod before exiting the car, my legs weak. Thomas raised his hand to acknowledge Nick, then held my gaze backing out of the driveway and disappearing behind a curtain of trees.
“So? What do you think? Not bad, huh?” Nick approached with an ever-growing smile.
“Not bad,” I admitted, taking the picture-perfect scene in. “It’s amazing, Nick.”
“Wait till you see your room. It’s overlooking the lake.”
He winked, then grabbed my hand and dragged me inside, showing off the warm, cosy décor as if he chose the colour scheme and not his wife-to-be. Dark wood and copper-coloured carpets created an illusion that the indoors were just an extension of the outdoors.
I collapsed on the corner sofa in the spacious living room, sinking into the masses of fluffy pillows in three different shades of orange.
An eight-hour flight and a five-hour time difference were creeping up on me. For the last few weeks I didn’t sleep much, and now that I was home, my energy evaporated.
The baby doll Thomas treated me with echoed in my mind, and every time I blinked, I saw his face and those striking, cinnamon eyes.
“What time is Mel due back?” I asked to change the course of my thoughts.
“Shortly after six. How about you get some sleep? I’m sure she won’t be able to resist waking you up.”
He wasn’t wrong. Three hours later, I got out of the bathroom showered and dressed in a beige skater skirt and a white long-sleeve top. Mel tackled me as soon as I walked into the bedroom. Her face was flushed as if she ran a marathon.
“Oh my God! I can’t believe you’re finally here!” she screamed in my ear, rocking left and right.
I laughed, wrapping my arms around her. “Me neither.” I pulled away when her bright red hair tickled my face. “How did the fitting go?”
“Okay, I guess. We’re on schedule, but there’s a lot to do, and not much time. We’ve only got two weeks to finalise everything before I start work.”
Her voice rose an octave when the panic kicked in—she was famous for the ultrasonic tone to her voice whenever she was stressed or excited.
“Don’t worry.” I squeezed her hand. “We’ll get it done on time. I promise. If we can’t manage within the next two weeks, I can take care of things by myself, since I’m not going back to school until way after the wedding.”
She sighed, collapsing on my bed. “I know. I can’t believe it’s happening. I mean, would you have ever bet on me marrying your brother when we were in high school?”
“Not in a million years,” I admitted, looking at her reflection in the mirror, “but I’m happy for you. You’re made for each other.”
It took time before I got accustomed to the fact that my brother was dating my best friend. I freaked out when Nicholas told me. I was afraid my relationship with Amelia would fall apart if things didn’t work out between them.
At the time, I couldn’t imagine they would last longer than two months. Then, the longer they dated, the harder I rooted for them, but it wasn’t until Nick proposed that I got my peace. I needed tangible proof, just like with everything else in my life.
Now I couldn’t imagine a better fit for my brother. Amelia was caring, resolute, and bossy, which helped her tame Nick’s impulsiveness. He was good for her too and got her hyperactivity slightly under control.
“Who’s coming tonight?”
“Thomas is here already. He kind of freaked me out arriving before everyone else. He’s always late,” she said, playing with her hair. “Ethan should be here in an hour … He was over the moon when Nick told him you’re coming back. And Scorpio is coming with Jane, too.”
“Ethan?”
“Ethan Marks! Oh my god, Nadia!”
“I remember. I just didn’t expect him to still be a part of the clan.”
Amelia shrugged and clicked her tongue. “He stuck around. Oh, and Alex might join us later.” A curtain of red hair covered her freckled face when she decided to re-do her ponytail. “She’s got a massive crush on Thomas. It’s fun to watch when she’s all puss-in-boots cute-eyes, and he just doesn’t give a shit.”
“Not his type?”
“Neither are you, Missy.”
“What?” I spun around, two wrinkles on my forehead.
“You’re blushing, babe.” She pointed a finger at me. “I get it. He’s hot, but he’s a playboy. He doesn’t do monogamy, and you’re in a committed relationship! Stare all you want, but no touching.”
“About that relationship … I have something to tell you two.”
Mel’s lips curved into a Cheshire-cat kind of grin, and she glanced at my hand searching for an engagement ring.
“If it’s what I think it is…”
“Don’t jump to conclusions,” I warned, but she ignored me, still smiling like a maniac.
I finished applying make-up, and we ascended the stairs where Nicholas sat in the living room with Thomas casually sprawled in the comfy-looking chair in the corner. I hesitated for a moment, my mouth turning dry.
A diametrical change in his style added a few points to his good looks. Instead of a suit he wore a pair of black jeans and a … white t-shirt. And hanging over the armrest? A beige jacket.
Talk about coincidence.
He brought his eyes from the screen of his cell, and despite standing at least ten feet away, I could make out the way his chest broadened when he inhaled, his eyes taking me in inch by inch.
“Sleep well, sis?” Nicholas patted the space next to him.
I hesitated again, knowing damn well that sitting next to him meant he would be touching me a lot. Nick was a very physical being. I used to be too. I used to enjoy nesting my head in the crook of his neck while we watched a movie.
“Not bad,” I said, taking a seat on the couch, a little further away than I normally would’ve. “Although it’s weird without all the noise right outside the window.”
“Missing New York already?” Thomas cut in.
“I bet it’s not New York or the noise she
’s missing,” Mel said, bouncing in the doorway. “Go on! Spill it!” She looked over to Nick, grinning. “Nadia has something to share about her and Adrian.”
Nick’s reaction was identical to Mel’s—he smiled and glanced at my hand, looking for a ring.
So much for calm news breaking.
There they were, expecting an engagement announcement, and all I had were bad news.
Nick winked at Thomas, sipped on his whiskey, and looked back at me, trying to contain his excitement. “So? How’s my future brother-in-law? When is he coming?”
Nick met Adrian last Christmas and accepted him as a part of the family less than a day later. It wasn’t surprising. Adrian made a great first impression, and he was the kind of guy any loving brother would want for his sister—kind, caring, and affectionate.
I sighed, looking up, hoping to find strength in the blue ceiling. “He’s not coming.”
“What?” A frown replaced the smile on Nick’s face. “He’s not coming to the wedding? Why?” Disappointment rang in his voice.
“I told you not to jump to conclusions.” I eyed Mel. “We’re not engaged.” I let that bit sink in. “We broke up.”
Amelia gasped, covering her mouth. “You broke up?” she uttered, taking a seat on the armrest of the couch.
Thomas snickered, drawing my attention. The look on his handsome face read something along the lines of “I see what you meant.”
Nick stared at me, still shocked. “You dumped him? When? Why?”
He wasn’t making it easier with the higher than normal tone and disappointment casting an ugly shadow on his face. I glanced at Thomas as if he could help me somehow. He couldn’t. He wasn’t trying either. He just sat there, the intensity of his gaze burning my cheeks.
“Two months ago. And who says I dumped him?”
“Oh please!” Nick threw his hands in the air, then got up. “He was over his fucking head in love with you, and I bet he still is! Why did you dump him?”