Despite what she had been thinking earlier about storming up to him to demand the truth, she managed to smile up at him. ‘No. Of course not.’
As he plunged into the water, she noticed how supple he was. Seeing such a well-defined body, you could tell he worked on the land and not in an office. She watched as he swam smoothly through the surf. When he had finished, he came out to dry himself.
‘I’m here with my sister-in-law,’ she said. ‘You can just about see her out there.’
He shaded his eyes with his hand while he looked. ‘Ah yes.’
‘Never seems to tire, but I hope she doesn’t go out any further.’
‘And how are you?’ he said. ‘Are you coping?’
She nodded. ‘It’s so gorgeous here, isn’t it?’
Neither of them spoke during a too-long silence, and she felt a little self-conscious with him standing there so close and her sitting in just her wet bathing costume.
‘Swimming is such a release,’ he eventually said, as he squatted down beside her. ‘Life gets fraught on the plantation. I get too bound up in it.’
‘Perhaps you need a social life.’
‘Maybe.’
‘What about your cousin? Do you see much of her?’
‘Zinnia? Yes, I see her.’
‘I didn’t know her name, but I think I saw her the last time I was there.’
He glanced away and seemed to her a little uneasy. She couldn’t say exactly why; it might just have been the pulse in his jaw and the way he didn’t meet her eyes.
‘She seemed upset,’ she added, hoping he’d say more.
He nodded and then got up too quickly, his arm brushing hers. She felt a distinct shiver and couldn’t help thinking he had stopped himself saying something.
She swallowed her indecision and looked up at him as she spoke. ‘About those shares. Are you certain Elliot had none? There will be records somewhere, if he did.’
He gazed at her. ‘I realize this must be difficult for you but, Louisa, I promise you. He really had no shares.’
She met his eyes and then nodded.
‘I’m afraid I have to get back.’
‘Yes.’
‘Well … Hope to see you around?’
‘Yes,’ she said again, because in spite of everything she couldn’t help wishing he’d stay a little longer.
‘Take care of yourself.’ Then he turned his back and began striding towards the road.
A moment later Louisa looked out to sea to check on Margo’s progress and was taken aback to see she was in trouble. She was attempting to swim back to the shore but was waving frantically with one arm and seemed to be treading water.
‘Leo! Help!’ Louisa shouted as she got to her feet then raced deeper into the water. She heard his feet pounding the sand as he ran to catch up with her.
‘Swim out to Margo with me, please! I don’t know what’s wrong. It’s not like her.’
Louisa began swimming but with a faster front crawl Leo quickly reached Margo, who was now spluttering and gasping for air. He grabbed her under the arms and then swam on his back, holding her against him with one arm, until they reached the shallows. Then he put her down and she hopped awkwardly over to Louisa who was now out of the water too.
‘You went out too far,’ Louisa said.
Margo took a deep breath and rubbed her leg. ‘I’m fine now.’
‘Honestly, Margo! You need to be more careful.’
‘I’ve never had cramp before.’ She turned to Leo. ‘Thank you for being my knight in shining armour.’
He inclined his head. ‘I’m glad you’re safe. I’m Leo, by the way, Leo McNairn. Owner of Cinnamon Hills.’
‘Well thank you,’ Margo said with a smile, and then resumed rubbing her calf muscle. ‘We read about you, didn’t we, Louisa?’
He grinned. ‘Really? And where was that?’
Margo glanced at Louisa. ‘At the library, wasn’t it?’
Louisa nodded and felt embarrassed, as if she’d been caught out being nosy.
‘Anyway, thank you again for your gallant rescue,’ Margo continued.
He helped Margo walk until they were all safely sitting on the sand. He glanced across at Louisa. Unable to fathom what he was thinking, she looked away and gazed behind her at dozens of lanky coconut palms, then further back at the little shacks of the fishermen. After a moment, she twisted round to face the water again and while she watched the seabirds – egrets, herons, sandpipers and kingfishers – she thought about what he’d said. No shares.
After a while he spoke to Margo. ‘Does it feel better?’
Margo nodded.
On the journey home, Margo was full of Leo and how chivalrous he had been, until Louisa almost began to regret their trip to the beach. And yet she couldn’t help feeling pleased at having seen him again. There was something about him that made her feel that things might not be so bad. That the darkness might not fall and she might not slip off the cliff edge, after all.
‘I think you’re smitten,’ she said, raising her brows at Margo.
‘Well, do you blame me? He’s gorgeous. I love the lean rugged type. So, what did you two talk about while I was busy drowning?’
‘Nothing. I asked him about the shares once more, but he said again there were none.’
18.
Louisa had been to the Print House with Margo and drawn up some initial plans. She still hadn’t found the key to the locked room and decided she would have to ask a locksmith to force the lock at some point.
Margo had gone for a cycle ride while Louisa pored over the plans, now laid out on a coffee table in the downstairs sitting room. She was hoping to construct four different rooms or departments. Added to these, there would be a circular central counter where some of the more expensive sapphire jewellery would be displayed and sold. Archways would open into the individual spaces, which would be destined for less costly jewellery in one, hand-carved woodwork in another, and silk products in the third. There might even be two rooms of jewellery if she could find enough jewellers to participate. She had decided to name the emporium Sapphire, as Ceylon was especially renowned for the quality of its beautiful sapphires. Soon she would need to organize extensive insurance and ensure all the locks and windows were secured with grilles too.
She was attempting to draw the building’s exterior but decided she needed to check on it again, having spotted something in the drawing that didn’t look right. Just when she was concentrating, Ashan entered the room and told her there was a gentleman to see her.
‘Well, show him in,’ she said rather irritably, running a palm over her hair and feeling annoyed at the intrusion, though she was instantly sorry to have been short with Ashan. His loyalty had never been in doubt, and she had always tried to treat him with respect. Surprised when Leo walked into the room, she stood immediately and then held out a hand.
He held it briefly.
‘I’m afraid I haven’t been to Colombo yet to withdraw the money Elliot left you.’
‘It isn’t that,’ he said, standing with his hands gripping a leather hat and twisting the rim round and round, looking so stiff and awkward she couldn’t help thinking he’d prefer to be elsewhere.
‘Would you like some tea?’
With a sombre look, he shook his head. ‘No.’ He paused. ‘Maybe we could talk in the garden?’
‘Of course. I’ll just get my sunhat.’
She slipped into the hall to retrieve her hat and then they went outside via the French windows. The peaceful garden glittered in the sunshine and a slight breeze rustled the leaves. The three dogs followed them out and lay down to pant in the shade, tongues lolling. She refilled their water bowl from an outdoor tap and placed it on the ground in front of them.
‘So,’ she said as they walked on.
She saw him swallow nervously – he seemed to be gathering his courage. ‘It’s about my cousin, Zinnia.’
‘Oh?’
‘I’m afraid she’s ill, and there
’s nobody looking after her son, Conor.’
‘I didn’t know she had a son.’
‘He’s seven. A sweet little thing who lives in his own little made-up world. Zinnia teaches him at home and so he rarely sees other children. I do what I can to help.’ He took a breath. ‘She has a divorced friend, you see, who brings her daughter from time to time, but that’s all. I think she feels she and Zinnia are both a little outside “normal” society. To be honest, things aren’t really satisfactory. Conor runs wild at the best of times but now …’
She had never heard him say so much in one go before and felt surprised by it. ‘I’m sorry to hear it, but why are you telling me?’
‘Well, that’s the difficult part.’ He suddenly stopped and there was an odd little pause.
She didn’t speak. Whatever it is, it should unfold at its own pace, she thought.
He began to talk again. ‘But, after seeing you at the beach, I felt I had to speak up.’
‘Shall we sit in the shade,’ Louisa said. ‘I’m getting hot.’
They moved to the shady area and sat together on a bench. The garden felt unnervingly quiet and now she sensed there was something a bit strange about Leo coming to see her like this.
‘So?’
‘I believe the money your husband left me was actually meant for Zinnia.’
She felt a slight chill despite the heat of the day and gave him a long hard look. Rooted to the spot, she waited for him to speak again.
‘There’s no easy way to say this …’
‘Go on.’
‘Conor is Elliot’s son, Louisa.’
She gasped and blinked rapidly. The garden seemed to shiver and now she was aware of her heart knocking in her chest so loudly she was amazed he couldn’t hear it.
He shook his head and stared at the ground. ‘I know this must be hard to hear.’
A long uncomfortable silence deepened while Louisa reeled from this. Confused by the vision of Elliot’s face, still clear in her mind, and the look in his eyes, the warmth, the love, it was impossible to take it in.
‘That’s why Elliot used to come to the plantation so often,’ Leo eventually said, glancing up at her.
‘Conor is Elliot’s son? That’s what you’re telling me?’ She felt a dozen emotions collide within her and such a burst of heat she felt she might pass out.
‘Yes.’
It couldn’t be true. Elliot would never have done such a thing. And hearing Elliot’s voice in her head she refused to believe it. ‘You can’t mean this.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘How can you lie to me like this?’ she said. ‘Why are you doing this?’
He gazed at her. ‘I thought you had a right to know.’
‘No! First you say there are no shares, something I still find hard to believe, and now you tell me this.’
There was another profound silence. The words she wanted to say thickened and refused to spill. She felt as if she’d never be able to breathe again.
‘Louisa, I …’
‘No.’ She held up a hand. ‘Don’t say a thing.’
She rose to her feet and moved away to stand with her back to him. ‘You expect me to believe Elliot went to the plantation to see her? He had no shares. It was all her?’
He didn’t reply.
‘You didn’t think to tell me this before?’ She twisted round to glance back at him, desperately trying to prevent the choking sensation in her tightening throat and silently entreating him to say it wasn’t true.
He shook his head miserably. ‘I didn’t want to hurt you, but it’s true he came to see Conor, and Zinnia too, of course.’
Louisa felt tears burning her lids, but carried on staring at him. Time seemed to accelerate backwards, and she saw Elliot’s smiling eyes as he gave her that last bunch of flowers. Now she felt they had only been to assuage his guilt. As if flowers could make up for this. She promised herself she would not cry in front of Leo and stood straighter, bracing herself. She bit her lip until she tasted blood, watching him all the while. ‘Why tell me now?’
He took a deep breath before he spoke. ‘As I said, I felt I couldn’t leave you in the dark. I couldn’t go on pretending I knew nothing and felt you deserved to know the truth.’
She frowned at his explanation and then took a step towards him. ‘You come here and tell me my husband has a child, an illegitimate child … a bastard!’
He stood up. ‘Look, I know this is a shock.’
She backed away and squinted into the harsh light. ‘You’re damn right!’
He hung his head for a moment and then looked up.
She laughed a hard, sharp laugh. ‘This is all nonsense. Are you insane? Completely mad?’
‘I wish there –’
‘Stop right there, Leo.’ Her voice had come out thin and rasping. She swallowed hard, horrified by her own display of raw emotion. She longed to curse at him, shout, scream that this was wrong. All wrong. Elliot would never have betrayed her.
‘I can’t think what possessed you to tell me this,’ she said in a tight voice. ‘Now please leave.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘Truly. If there’s anything I can do?’
‘Go. Just go!’
He turned on his heels and within moments he was gone.
She collapsed back on to the bench, staring after him, the dogs whimpering at her feet. She wrestled with what she had heard. Sucking in her breath, she fought the urge to weep. She picked up Zip and hugged him to her, breathing in his damp doggy smell and feeling hollowed out, as if she’d been kicked in the stomach. At first, she tried to deny what he had told her. It couldn’t be true. And yet Leo would have no reason to lie, would he? Was this somehow tied up with the shares? She bent forward and cradled her head in her hands. Then she sat up straight again and clenched her hands into fists. The feeling of wanting to lash out intensified, the pain and anger too overpowering to bear. How could he possibly have lied to her all these years? They had been married for twelve years but he had a seven-year-old son. No. She let the words sink in until they echoed so loudly she clapped her hands over her ears. A son. A son. No. It couldn’t be true. How was it possible she had never suspected a thing? Had she been fooling herself all this time? Had the love between them never been real? The questions crashed around in her head but there were no answers. There never would be.
By the time Margo returned, Louisa was sobbing. She hadn’t moved from the bench and, though she was aware of feeling terribly hot, it was as if she’d lost the ability to stand and walk away. Tommy and Bouncer had wandered off in search of shade, though not before whining their own anxiety over her distress. Zip remained on her lap although he was now fidgeting.
Margo slid on to the bench beside her and put an arm around Louisa’s shaking body, waiting for the sobs to subside before she spoke. When Louisa was a little calmer, Margo took hold of her hand and gently nudged Zip away.
‘Darling, it’s best if we go inside now. You’re overheating. I’ll take you to the upstairs sitting room and get some mango juice sent up, then you can tell me all about it.’
For the following few days Louisa felt bereft, as if the news of the child had reached into the heart of her and knocked her soul out. Everything, her life, her marriage, her hopes for the future, had come crashing to the ground. Deeply shocked, she dug her fingernails into the fleshy part of her palm to ward off the sickness she felt. She wanted to think of something else, but Zinnia and her child took over every waking thought. She lay on the bed with a pillow over her head as if to shield herself from the truth. Margo came to sit with her but didn’t ask questions. Louisa was grateful. She wasn’t ready to say the dreadful words aloud. Sometimes she saw Margo’s worried look but had no strength to lessen her sister-in-law’s concern.
Then one afternoon, she squinted up at Margo and shared what Leo had said. She watched the shock of it register on the younger woman’s face, saw the way her hand flew to her mouth, saw her lips begin to tremble and he
r eyes widen in disbelief. Louisa then started crying. She made a horrible gasping sound as the pain poured out. Margo wept too and the women held each other.
Eventually Margo pulled away. ‘Dear God. I can’t believe it. You’re sure it’s true?’
Louisa took a shuddering breath. ‘Why would Leo lie about it?’
‘I just can’t believe it of Elliot.’
‘I know. I’ve been over and over it in my head.’
Margo doubled over and Louisa wrapped an arm around her.
They stayed like that for several minutes, but after a while Margo straightened up and wiped her damp cheeks. ‘Sorry. It’s the shock. I can’t take it in. I just can’t believe my brother would do such a thing.’
‘I feel the same.’
‘What are you going to do about the money Elliot left Leo? Presumably it was for this woman and her child?’
Louisa nodded. ‘I shall go to the bank, withdraw the money and send someone to Cinnamon Hills to give it to him. It isn’t much, but he can give it to Zinnia. What else can I do?’
Margo shook her head. ‘I wish Elliot were here. He’d straighten all this out.’
‘You really believe that?’
Margo shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’
They sat in silence for a few minutes.
‘So, what’s next?’ Margo eventually said. ‘You’re very flushed. Do you feel able to take a bath and get dressed? You haven’t eaten a thing for days and your father has called twice too. I haven’t known what to say to him. Do you think you might eat some toast?’
Louisa nodded and felt a burst of energy. ‘If I’m not going to fade away I shall have to face the world sooner or later.’
‘There’s no need for anyone to know.’
‘I’m sure there are people who do know. I don’t see how he could have kept this completely secret for so long. Do you think people have been pitying me, when all along I was congratulating myself on having a wonderful marriage?’
‘Nobody has ever breathed a word. I don’t think anyone here knows.’
‘I feel like such an utter fool.’
‘I’d be bloody furious if I was you. In fact, I am bloody furious with my brother!’
‘And all the time I was losing his babies he already had a child. It hurts, Margo. It really hurts.’
The Sapphire Widow Page 11