Then I looked up “Ravanni,” and I have to say, that looks pretty real too. At least, from his end…it’s hard to tell with Raven. They had a three month relationship full of parties, paparazzi, and millions of fans obsessing over them. I’m not really sure how I missed it. I’m not obsessed with celebrity gossip, but Ana is, so she should have caught this. I guess we were both too nose-deep in the first months of school back then to pay attention. Anyway, real or not, Raven’s right. My going out with him completely undermines our family ties, especially in the public eye.
The truth is, I love hanging out with Gio, but seeing those pictures made me want to hurl and never speak to him again. If their relationship was real, he betrayed Raven in the worst way possible. Then he proceeded to tell everyone their relationship was fake so it wouldn’t seem so bad. If he was telling the truth, he still should have broken up with her before causing a big scene like that. His actions scream “publicity stunt.” I don’t think he’s quite as innocent as he claims to be.
Whatever the case, I can’t take the chance of being hurt like that. I’ve had enough public humiliation for one lifetime. As much as it kills me, I think I’m about to say good-bye to my “Prince Charming.”
God, this is going to suck…I hope I can stay strong.
Ttyl,
Mads
***
Right after clicking Submit, I head over to Gio’s place. I’m let in their front gate, and I wipe at my tears all the way up the driveway to his front door.
Gio opens the door, and as soon as he sees my face, he guesses what happened. “She told you that you have to break up with me, didn’t she?” He looks more pissed off than I’ve ever seen him.
“She didn’t say I ‘have to,’ but she did tell me your relationship was real.”
“That is a lie and you know it!” He growls something else in Italian, but I hold up a hand.
“Gio, I…I saw the pictures,” I whisper through my tears.
Gio sighs and leans against the doorjamb. “I should have told you not to do that.” He rubs his forehead wearily, and then he looks into my eyes. “Are you okay?”
“No…not really.”
“I’m so sorry you had to see that. Really, I am. I wish that nasty scandal would go away for good.”
I look into his beautiful face, so full of remorse, and I lose an ounce of my resolve. God, he’s so amazing…
No. Stay strong.
“Listen…whether or not it was real for her, it was real for you, and you cheated. The honorable thing to do would have been to break up with her before going out with that girl, but you didn’t.”
Gio nods. “I know that now, but back then, I wanted to hurt her. I wanted revenge. She crushed my soul, and I just wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine.”
Damn…I can’t argue with that response. What now?
“Madness, please don’t tell me you believe her over me.” His expression is laced with pain, and I feel my own soul crumpling.
“I don’t know what to believe, but…honestly, being caught between Raven and you all the time isn’t going to work. She’s a part of my life now. We’re coming out as a family. I…I just need to keep the peace.”
Gio clenches his jaw, and his eyes water up. “So that’s it? You’re just going to throw us away to ‘keep the peace?’”
“Gio, this relationship—or whatever it is—was always going to end. It was only a matter of time. This is our expiration date. It’s…it’s just something I need to do. I hope you understand.”
He just stares at me in silence with disbelief.
“Please…try to understand,” I beg. “I couldn’t stand it if you hated me.”
He swallows the anger down, and the muscles in his face twitch as he tries to control his emotions. Hurting him like this is going to haunt me. I almost lose my resolve when a single tear slides down his cheek. “I knew she was going to do this. I knew she was going to take you away.”
“We can still be friends—” I start, but he shakes his head.
“No. No, we can’t…and don’t come crying to me when she destroys you.” He stomps into the house and slams the door shut, not even looking back over his shoulder.
***
Four days later, I stand alone by the window in my new bedroom that looks out over the pool. My old one looked right out at Gio’s house, and I couldn’t take the reminder of what happened with him, so Dad and Cass helped me move all my things. For the past three nights, I’ve heard nothing but partying and girls’ voices coming from Gio’s backyard. To cover the noise, I’ve been spending all my time on music.
I take Dad’s guitar from its stand and crank up the lone amp that’s in my room to the highest level. The only thing that makes me feel better right now is drowning in sound. Shredding along with my favorite songs is the only therapy I’ll ever need. It helps me forget the world exists for a while. I’ve also been sneaking shots of vodka from Dad’s liquor fridge to ease the pain and help me forget.
Dad knocks forcefully on the door, and I stop playing, hide the shot glasses, and yell at him to come in. “Hey, baby girl,” he says in a gentle tone of voice. Everybody’s been walking on eggshells around me lately. “You doin’ all right?”
“No, but what else is new?” I pause the music on my laptop, set the guitar down on the stand, and sit on the edge of the bed. Immediately, I hear the sounds of Gio and his friends partying next door, and I drop my forehead into my palms.
“Hey…don’t let him get to you.” Dad sits down beside me and wraps an arm around me. “You stood up for yourself and made the decision you thought was right.”
“Then why do I feel like the stupidest girl alive?”
“You are not stupid at all. You’re brave, you’re strong, and you’re going to get through this one day at a time.” I lean against him, and he smells my breath. “Do I smell alcohol?”
“Oh…yeah, I…I had to use some rubbing alcohol to get permanent marker off my hands,” I lie.
Dad raises an eyebrow. “Sweetheart, I know the smell of vodka well.”
I sigh and pull away. “Sorry.”
“Have you been sneakin’ my vodka up here?”
“Just little shots…” I shrug.
He stares me down. “No more lyin’, and no more stealin’ my liquor, all right?” I nod, and guilt is added to the long list of emotions I’m battling. “Anyway, I came up here to tell you that because of the Redingers and Cass, we’re movin’ here for good. I’ve already talked to Momma and Melissa and they’re gonna make permanent arrangements over there, so we don’t have to go back except to pack our things.”
“Yay.” My voice is flat and emotionless. There was a time when that news would have excited me, but now it just sounds like a jail sentence. Am I ever going to feel free again? Anywhere?
“I know things are hard right now, sugar, but they’ll get better. You’ll see. We can find you a good school and let you have one year of high school before you go off to rock the world on your own.”
A corner of my mouth pulls up. It’s a small glimmer of hope in a dark world that my rock star dad believes in me. “Okay.”
“Be thinkin’ about which schools you’d like to go to, all right? I’m leavin’ it all up to you.”
I swallow hard. There’s only one school I’ve had my eye on, and I know it’s a longshot, but I have to try.
***
July 22, 2015
Mission Survival
I miss Ana. It’s been two weeks since she left, and I still have this gaping hole in my heart from the loss of my best friend’s presence. We are officially staying in L.A. with Cass now, which is great, but it sucks because I won’t be living near my BFF for a whole year.
On the positive side, most of my missions have worked out lately, so I’m hoping my new one is a sure win: Mission Survival. I decided I’m going to try to get into Wilcox High School. That’s where Raven goes, so I’m guaranteed to have at least one powerful alliance on my side.
Unfortunately, Gio also goes there, so…yeah, this should be interesting.
My new mission is to keep on good terms with Raven so the most feared teenage girl in L.A. won’t be out to destroy me. I’m going to give her my answer when I see her in a week. That’s when we have the interview to trump all interviews: the big reveal of the Basket Baby’s mother. The show we’re going on has already advertised the reveal like crazy, but they haven’t given any clues about who my mother is. People everywhere are putting their theories out there and trying to assemble the puzzle for themselves before watching the interview. It’s kind of comical to watch. Do they really think those theories are going to have any effect on the truth whatsoever? I guess some people must just be really, really bored.
Anyway, that interview is the beginning of a “family press tour,” which starts in New York City in the first week of August. After that, Jess is taking me to meet her side of the family in London, which I am actually kind of excited about. Dad insisted on coming, of course…he’s not going to let me out of his sight whenever I’m with her.
Dad is still determined to stay off the stage, although I think it’s possible he might want to return after I graduate. We had a conversation about it a couple days ago, and I want to write down what he said, because I want to remember it when I start feeling guilty about keeping him off the stage.
Dad said, “Sweetie, being a parent and a rock star is really hard. One always has to suffer for the other. You’ve only got one year left before the world takes you away from me as an adult, and I don’t want to miss that year. Once you’re gone and doin’ your own thing, I’ll revisit the idea of going back to music, but until then, I’m your father first and forever. Nothin’ in this world could ever be important enough to take me away from my girl while she still needs me.”
He may have lied to me about a lot of things, but no one can say he doesn’t care about me. I guess I got lucky in the father department. The ending of my mother story remains to be seen.
***
It’s July 29, and I’m waiting behind the scenes of the daytime TV show that is announcing my mother’s identity to the world. Raven is sitting next to me, and Dad and Jess are sitting on opposite ends of the waiting area behind the set. My pulse quickened as soon as Raven walked in the room, and now that she’s sitting beside me, I know exactly what she’s about to ask.
“So, have you considered my offer?” she whispers.
“I have.”
“What’s your answer?”
I take a deep breath. “Our alliance would have to honor certain conditions. First off, I will not participate in any scheme that inflicts physical, emotional, or psychological harm.”
Raven smirks. “But where’s the fun in that?” My eyebrows go up sternly, and she sighs and says, “Go on.”
“If you involve me without my knowledge in a scheme that inflicts harm, my immunity stays intact, even if I refuse to participate in any more schemes.”
“All right.” She seems hesitant about that one. “Is that all?”
“Just one more. There will be no speaking on my behalf, overshadowing me, or impersonating me. I might be your protégé, but I’m still an individual who has a voice.”
“Well, I suppose I will have to work with what I can get,” Raven says. “When the show starts, just play along. As I told you, I’ve already got a plan in motion.”
“All right,” I say, feeling a little tense.
Dad and I are called on the set to talk to the pretty brunette host. She gives the audience a little introduction to us, and then, once a sufficient amount of suspense has been built up, she announces, “Would Madison Daley’s mother please come on out?”
Jess and Raven step out, and the audience falls silent in shock before erupting into cheers. The Redingers wave in appreciation and then take their seats next to Dad and me. Jess tells the story in a condensed version, and at the end, she turns to me. “I cannot begin to make up for the years I’ve lost with this girl, but I’m so glad she has seen fit to welcome me into her life now.”
The audience claps for us, and Jess gives me a little side hug. It’s the first physical affection I ever remember receiving from my mother, so I end up shedding a few tears.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” The host hands me a tissue. I know better than to tell her the real reason I’m crying.
“It’s just an emotional time for me, that’s all.” I force a smile.
“Well, it must be! Not only have you finally met your mother, but you’ve gained a sister as well. Same for you. Can you tell me a little bit about your end of this reunion?” She’s addressing Raven now, who is as poised and confident as usual.
“I couldn’t be happier to be reunited with the other half of my family.” Raven glances over at Dad, and they exchange smiles. The audience rewards her with a round of applause. “My father is terrific, and my twin sister and I have already formed a bond.” ‘Bond’…that’s an interesting way of putting it. “In fact, I have a feeling we’re going to be the best of friends, right, sis?”
Play along. “Of course,” I say. Raven reaches over Jess for my hand, and when we join hands, the audience bursts into enthusiastic applause. She raises her eyebrows at me, and I can almost hear her words in my head. Play it up. “It’s…like being reunited with my other half,” I say, eliciting another cheer, and Raven nods and smiles as if to say Good.
So this is her plan. The ‘twin bond’ angle.
I guess it could be worse.
To be continued…
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Playlist:
Diary of Jane – Breaking Benjamin
American Idiot – Green Day
Whisper – Evanescence
Fire and Ice – Within Temptation
Victim – Avenged Sevenfold
Unholy Confessions – Avenged Sevenfold
Meant to Live – Switchfoot
Extraordinary Girl – Green Day
Let’s Get Rocked – Def Leppard
Beverly Hills – Weezer
The Best Damn Thing – Avril Lavigne
Madness – Muse
I Love Rock N’ Roll – Joan Jett
Sweet Child O’ Mine – Guns N’ Roses
Dani California – Red Hot Chili Peppers
Rockstar - Nickelback
Riot – Three Days Grace
Complicated – Avril Lavigne
Titanium – Madilyn Bailey
Oceans – Evanescence
You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid – The Offspring
Famous – Puddle of Mudd
Lost in Paradise – Evanescence
Afterlife – Avenged Sevenfold
Welcome to the Family – Avenged Sevenfold
Acknowledgements
Thanks to Granddaddy for giving me the writing gene and always encouraging me to reach for the stars. You are still very much missed even after nine years.
Thanks to Mom for being a great teacher and letting me write as much as I wanted for English credit.
Thanks to my husband and your friends, who allow me to listen in on your Battlefield matches.
Thanks to my writer friends for continually sharing your knowledge and techniques so that everyone around you can grow and improve. Also, thank you for letting me rant to you about my writing problems without treating me like the crazy pe
rson I am.
Thanks to Nydia S. Robles for your original cover design that was used for the first edition of this book, and for developing the iconic custom-made guitar that I included in the story.
Thanks to my beta readers, especially Geoffrey, Kristina, Ann Rose, Kiarra, and Samatha, for helping me develop my writing style and fix issues in the story as I went along.
Thanks to Lori Whitwam for helping me work out some kinks in my story and being patient with my plethora of questions.
Thanks to JoSelle Vanderhooft for being a wonderfully patient editor and giving me all the time and freedom I needed.
Thanks to my Limitless Publishing family, whom I’ve only just met but have already grown to love. You are a wonderful group of writers and a wonderful group of people, and I am privileged to have the chance to get to know you and be counted among you.
Thanks to anyone I may have left out that helped me develop my writing style or ideas along the way.
About the Author
Haley Allison is a South Carolina native. She discovered a love of writing at age fourteen and hasn't been able to turn off the motor fingers since then. Today she lives in a quiet country home with her husband, son, and Boston Terrier. Her hobbies include amateur photography, hours of fun with Photoshop, and composing piano music.
Haley's current project is a YA Contemporary Fiction series, but she also loves writing fantasy, romance, and occasionally horror fiction. Defying standards and norms and thinking outside the box is Haley's strong suit, and she hopes to write something that makes it big someday. Until then, she's content with her growing author family and a head full of ideas.
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