"Happiness is a choice, a state of mind."
She smiled as her mother's words echoed her father's. Maybe they had more in common then they let on. "Is your state of mind happy?"
Sitting forward, Marie folded her hands and leveled an intense glare in Melodie's direction. "Answer me this, young lady. Are you happy?"
Be honest, even if it's hard. She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, waiting for a full measure of courage to pour over her tongue and allow her to speak. "I haven't been. I think maybe Tom's death taught me life is short, and there are no guarantees. In an odd way, his passing gave me courage to find the happiness I deserve."
"And you think this Daniel is your key to happiness?"
She may not be good at reading people, but she'd had a lifetime of dealing with her mother. This trap could be sighted a mile away. Not this time, Mother. She offered a smile and a small shake of her head. "No, as you and Dad say, happiness is a state of mind, not a feeling. The way Daniel makes me feel when I'm around him serves as a catalyst for me to believe I can have and, most importantly, deserve happiness. I've never experienced such conviction before."
"About damn time. I knew you had it in you."
Wait. What? Why? With no idea the direction her mother's thoughts would take them, she kept quiet and waited.
"You were right, at least in part. I have wanted you to be more like me, but not how you think."
No idea, not a friggin' clue. "Enlighten me."
"You've always wanted to do things your own way, but you failed to see that my pushing you was to help you be the best you could possibly be. Instead of listening to my instruction or giving me valid reasons why your way was better, you just buried yourself in your own little world and settled."
"See, this is what I'm talking about. You keep wanting me to be Evelyn. She's the attorney, the one who would argue a fine point to death. That's not my style. Besides, despite what you want to believe, I don't want to argue with you."
Before she could continue, Marie lifted her perfectly manicured hand to stop the argument before she even got started.
"Let me tell you a story, give you an example of what I mean. My parents wanted me to get married, have kids and stay home, and be a June Cleaver wife."
The thought of her mom being a June Cleaver housewife was not only impossible, but highly entertaining. "They must've loved when you went off to college with dreams to start your own business."
"They hated every second and made no secret about it either. They harassed me the whole summer after graduation until I left for college. Before I left, I set them straight on why I made the choices I did." Marie stood and moved to the front of the desk, only inches away. "Once I did, they understood why I had to do what I did. They still didn't like it, but I worked hard to better myself. It's hard for them to argue with success. You've never stood up for yourself. Conviction sets us apart. Your sister and I have it, and, God help me, I've been trying to instill it in you. I may not like your choices. Hell, I pretty much hate them. Today is the first time you've even tried to set the record straight." Marie's eyes widened slightly and one eyebrow rose into a perfect arc. "I'll repeat it again, to make sure you understand. My job is to make you better."
"You know what the problem with your logic is, Mother?" She'd hoped she could get her to understand, but a lifetime of always believing she was right and the success to back it up kept the indomitable Marie Alexander from seeing this one important truth.
"There isn't any, but I'm curious as to where you think the flaw is."
"Who gets to define what makes a person better? I know your definition works for you and Ev, but it doesn't work for me. I measure success, not from money or the number of plaques and certificates on my wall, but with the impact I can have on people's lives. My idea of better is instilling in children the belief that they can be whatever or whoever they want to be, regardless of what anyone else thinks. Our talk today has prompted me to be better in one area though."
Marie blinked rapidly for a few moments, but the firm set of her jaw and non-smiling arc of her mouth remained unchanged. "And what is that?"
"It is important to stand up for myself. I'm not going to argue with you about my choices, but if you really want to understand why I'm doing something, I promise to answer honestly if you ask me. As for everything else, maybe we can call a temporary truce and agree to disagree?" She really wanted to find at least a small measure of peace in the relationship with her mother. Better late than never.
Marie offered the smallest hint of a smile and a slight nod. "Temporary truce. Let's have a cup of tea, and you can tell me more about this young man serving as a catalyst to your happiness."
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
"I can't believe you've been bullshitting me all along." Daniel patted his very full stomach. A trip to the gym needed to occur sooner than later.
Melodie started clearing the table. "I'm not sure a casserole, salad, and dinner rolls qualifies as cooking. Occasionally, I like to prove to myself," she kissed him on the top of the head and winked at Annie, "and others I can still throw a meal together, if necessary."
Annie yawned. "Dinner made me sleepy."
Daniel picked up his daughter and held her close. "You had quite a day. Talking to Mommy and then playing most of the day with Jason."
The little girl smiled. "My brave knight."
"Let's get your bath, and then we'll make you a bed on the couch."
"But it's lumpy. You said so." Annie's protest reminded him of his lame excuse for sleeping with Mel last night.
"I'll put extra padding down for you, so you won't feel the lumps, okay?"
His heart expanded at the wary look in his daughter's eyes.
"Promise?" Bright blue eyes pierced into his, expecting nothing less than the truth.
"Promise."
"You run her bath, and I'll clean up in here." Melodie loaded the dishwasher.
"You sure? I don't mind helping out." Especially if finishing these chores got them into bed sooner.
"I don't mind."
He gave Mel a kiss on the cheek and started down the hall with Annie. Melodie had been quiet since returning from work and her parent's house. He'd offered to buy dinner for the three of them, but she insisted on cooking. Doubt started to form ranks around the walls of his heart. Tonight had felt so right, the three of them sitting down to dinner. He wasn't sure if she was quiet because of her conversation with her mother or if she was upset with him for not sharing this morning. His hand balled into a fist as the doubts started ticking through his mind again. Maybe he shouldn't have brought Annie. Had he been selfish and let his desire to see Melodie prompt him to skip several steps in the relationship and introduce her to his little girl? He'd wanted this so bad, but was he ready to bring her fully into his messed up world?
He turned the water off and gestured to the bubble-filled tub. "Here's your nightgown. You can play for a few minutes, then wash up, and let's get you ready for bed."
Annie's tired little eyes found his. "I like Mel. Can we stay here for a while?"
Yep, he'd gone and screwed the pooch, as his army buddies used to say. He pulled Annie into his arms. "I really like her too. We have to figure things out though. She has a job, and you have to go back to school. Mommy is looking forward to seeing you again soon. Daddy has to get started on his job too."
Big drops of water formed in her blue depths, rendering him completely incapable of promising her anything less than everything her heart desired.
"We'll figure it out, princess. Doesn't the fairy tale always promise a happily ever after?"
The watery eyes widened, joined by a radiant smile. "Yes."
"Then don't stop believing in a fairy tale ending, okay?" He kissed her forehead. "Now, get yourself cleaned up. I'm pretty sure you have some sand from the park stowing away and trying to turn you into the cutest sandbox ever."
"I know."
An hour later, Daniel pulled Melodie into his arms as th
ey settled into bed. "Thanks for reading her a bedtime story."
"My pleasure. Kinda what I do."
"Do I finally get my bedtime story?" He needed her and the wonderful distraction she always provided from the negative thoughts swirling through his head. Not wanting to deny either of them for one more second, he slid his hand under the light blue silk nightie to palm the softness of her breast while his thumb circled the hardening tip.
She arched into his touch, heating his blood and sending each cell on a crash course for the same location.
As her fingertips grazed his chest, he growled, "Screw the story, I want the librarian."
Moving his body to cover hers, he paused for a moment to burn in his memory exactly how she felt under him. Damn perfect. There would be no controlling Mr. Hyde tonight. The gentleman and knight occupied too much time in the story lately. Time for a little fun. Lowering his head with the intention of fully capturing her mouth with his, she surprised him by capturing his cheeks with her hands and stopping his progress.
"Thank you."
His cocky grin emerged. "I'm just getting started, babe." To prove his point, he turned his head and placed a love bite on her wrist.
"Daniel."
The quiet tone of her words calmed his libido ever so slightly. "Sorry. I've missed you."
She pulled his face toward hers and rained the lightest of kisses over his face. Not exactly what he was looking for, but a decent start. The head on top of his shoulders told him to slow down, let her talk about what happened at her parent's house today, and then make the sweetest of love to her. The head below his belt disagreed and made a valid argument for why he'd earned a fun romp in the hay with his smoking hot librarian.
The heart in between those two opted for a compromise. "You're welcome. I know we need to have some quality conversation time, but…" Thrusting his hips against hers, he demonstrated how far down the path he'd already gone. He smiled. "I've been such a brave knight, slaying dragons and all."
His ploy worked, and her smile widened to the point her eyes crinkled. "Don't forget, and I quote, the most awesome babysitter ever."
Damn this woman and her irresistible charm. He collapsed on top of her and rolled them until her body rested completely on his. He laughed at her squeal of surprise. "Do not, and I repeat, do not bring up the children tonight. Jason's an awesome dude and way too smart for his own good. We'll talk about the kids, your parents, us…whatever you want to talk about after we take care of a little business."
He buried his face in the curve of her neck, alternating between licking, biting and sucking until her moans of pleasure ensured he had her full attention. The burning need to touch her, to feel every inch of her soft skin under his war-hardened palms heated to an unbearable level. Sweet Jesus, he needed her. The satin and lace joined his boxers on the floor.
Skin against skin. He'd wanted this for days now. Rolling them again, he looked down at the picture of perfection. With purposeful moves, he sought to taste and touch every inch of her body. His intent simple—consume her.
The gentle caress of her fingertips on his back and shoulders made him pause. He forced his eyes open to drown in green pools of emeralds, the very same jewels that bewitched him from the moment they'd met. He kissed her gently. "You okay?"
Her thumb slid across his bottom lip, curling the knot of desire even tighter in his gut. "Just being in the moment with you, savoring every second."
There was something more than lust or desire in her eyes, but dark lashes closed over the emeralds as her legs circled his hips, and he was gone…
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Sunday
Melodie tapped her fingers restlessly on the marble counter, waiting for the coffee to brew. Both Daniel and Annie were still asleep, but rest proved a stranger to her most of the night. Last night would've been the most perfect night of her life, but concerns over Daniel's withdrawal, the dark circles and worry lines that creased his ruggedly handsome face kept her worried enough to prevent restful sleep. Oh, he'd been totally attentive while they made love but as they tried to sleep afterwards… She shuddered remembering the way his body jerked from what she assumed was a nightmare. The tormented look on his face as he endured whatever horrors played out behind his closed lids saddened her. She wanted to help him. Had offered to do so, if he would just let her.
Today.
Today she would press him to tell her the truth about the nightmares and promise him she'd see a specialist about her infertility. She would invite him to come with her and ask that she be allowed to come to counseling with him. They could be there for each other—find their own little slice of happiness in this world.
The hissing and gurgling from the coffeepot signaled the completion of the brewing cycle. "Thank God." A moment later the strong, hot beverage washed over her taste buds and heated the stone pit resting heavily in her stomach.
Unable to put it off any longer, as she didn't want Annie to be awake for this conversation, she poured him a cup and slowly made her way back to the bedroom.
The rock in her stomach did a flip-flop as she drank in the magnificent sight of Daniel. His body, a picture of perfection. The frown on his face and the deep furrow of his forehead indicated his mind was in turmoil. The ache in her heart intensified until the pressure in her chest stole her ability to breathe. The pure, agonizing realization washed over her. For the first time in her life, she'd allowed herself to fall in love. Her love for him demanded she try to help him get better. Though she thought it would be hard to argue against the merit of nightmare-free sleep, she wanted to avoid the same mistakes her mother had made by defining better for him. Pulling him down a road she'd never traversed would be wrong, but offering to walk with him would be better.
The smell of fresh coffee worked its magic, and a few minutes after entering the room, his long lashes fluttered open. His crystal blue eyes lit up as he came to awareness. "You brought me coffee in bed?"
She handed him the cup and smiled at the look of relief settling over his handsome face as he took the first few sips.
The lump in her stomach defied gravity and slid into her throat. She didn't want to mess this up. "I know I said it last night, but I don't think I had your full attention. Thank you for everything you've done for me and for my family. You have given so much of yourself, and we've shared so much of our pain. I've never felt a connection to another person like I have to you, almost from the moment I bumped into you on the plane."
He nodded but didn't smile. Not good. "I don't know how I can repay you for showing me how to live life and to face my dragons, even if you had to knock them down to size for me first."
Daniel set his cup on the table next to the bed and lifted her hand to kiss the back. "We've been good for each other."
She didn't like his use of the past tense. "Agreed, and I see not only a good future together but a great one." When he looked away from her, the lump in her stomach tripled in size. Placing her cup next to his, she reached out to touch his shoulder. The tension in the muscles clearly indicated he was anything but relaxed. "I know something is bothering you. I suspect your nightmares have returned. Talk to me. We'll figure this out together."
"There's nothing to talk about. This is something I have to work out on my own."
She blinked rapidly to stop the tears accumulating from slipping down her cheek. "No, you don't. I thought I was going to have to deal with my physical problems alone, but you offered to help me. I was thinking this morning as the coffee was brewing. We can set up an appointment for a specialist for me, and we can find someone to meet with, together, to help you through your challenges. I know they're not the same, but we both have things we need to deal with. Won't it be better to do it together?"
The nervous tension inside her body overwhelmed her small frame and escaped into the air from her admission. Waiting wasn't one of her strong suits either. Would her words get through?
Daniel's eyes hardened as he slid out of bed. "I appr
eciate the concern, Mel, really I do, but it's not necessary. I'm fine."
Following his lead, she moved to stand on the opposite side of the bed. "You told me the other day I needed to tell the truth, even if it hurt. Maybe you should follow your own advice. I may have a lot to learn when it comes to people, but I've developed a pretty good understanding of you. You're not sleeping, you've been withdrawn, and last night I watched you suffer through a nightmare. You are anything but fine, Daniel."
His body tensed, and the warmth drained from his eyes. "You have no right to judge me. You can't possibly understand what I'm going through."
She nodded. "You're right. I can't. But I want to understand—want to help you. Isn't that what people who love each other do?" Dear God, that's not how she wanted to profess her love for him.
* * *
Daniel's eyes widened. "You're trying to guilt me into therapy by telling me you love me?" That may be the lowest trick in the book anyone had every tried on him.
She shook her head as the tears began to fall. "I'm not trying to guilt you into anything. You want to define 'whatever this is'? Well, I can't answer for you, but for me this is love. That's right. I love you, Daniel. Because I love you, I want to share in life with you, both the good and the bad. You've given me a little of each along with a healthy dose of wonderful. Now I want to be there for you."
She loved him. Shit. He really didn't deserve that. She was everything he was not. Oh, he tried to be a good father, a good soldier, a good friend, but he'd failed. Annie had been growing up with an alcoholic mother while he was off fighting a war. He'd followed orders and demanded the same from the men who reported to him. His orders, his choices, had directly resulted in three men losing their lives. Last, but certainly not least, his green-eyed sexy wallflower had blossomed into the amazing woman standing in front of him telling him she loved him. He couldn't risk bringing her down with him. No. It was going to be hard enough holding himself together for Annie and making sure he didn't screw her up. He refused to take that chance. "You can't be there for me."
More Than One Night Page 18