by T. R. Lykins
I finally get to the university and find a parking space. I get out of my car and as soon as I do, I hear someone calling my name. Why couldn’t it be Alexia calling for me and not Megan?
“Phillip, why have you been ignoring me? I even went to your condo building and that guy at the desk wouldn’t let me in. I would have loved to see your condo. I bet it has a perfect view. Come on, Phillip. Walk me to class. We need to go out and do something special together. I think we should go out on a date tonight. How about it, Phillip? Will you take me out tonight?’ She asks. Boy, she is persistent.
“No, Megan. I can’t take you out tonight. I have plans. No. I can’t walk you to class because I am seeing someone. No, you can’t come into my condo or building because that is against the rules. Please leave me alone. I don’t want to date you or spend time with you,” I explain hoping she will get the hint and leave me alone. Knowing I have to be hateful to her, but she asks the same thing over and over. I keep saying no. When will she learn?
She looks at me angrily. “Who are you seeing Phillip? Is it that girl Alexia that was with you at my party last night? I thought she was with your friend Jacob? I bet he won’t like you going behind his back and stealing his girl from him.”
She has some nerve to ask these questions. “It is none of you business who I am seeing, and you need to leave Alexia alone and not bother her. Jacob isn’t seeing her, so leave it alone now,” I angrily walk off, but she grabs my arm.
“You will be sorry you turned me down Phillip. I could give you everything. Now that you are being this way, I guess we will see who will be seeing whom. I will make your life and Alexia’s life miserable. Just wait and see.” Finally she leaves me.
I yell and tell her to leave us alone, but she keeps on walking. I am worried even more about Alexia now. First, the problem was my possibly getting sick on her, and now crazy Megan thinks she owns everyone around her. Megan better leave Alexia alone, that is for sure, or she might get a taste of her own medicine. I won’t stand for her picking on my girl. My girl, I like that saying. If only I knew what she would do, when I ask her how she feels about my possibly dying on her. I can’t think about this anymore. I am going to be late for class. I hurry to the classroom and barely make it in before class starts.
I know Alexia is looking at me and wondering what is wrong me. I can’t tell her now because I need to think some more about what I need to tell her. This day started out as the best day ever, and now look how it has gone down hill so fast.
Then I remember what Alexia was wearing when I came in. She didn’t notice me looking in the classroom before I came in, but I saw that she still is wearing my t-shirt. That made me stop a second and think that maybe she is going to say yes to me. What have I done to this girl? I need to focus on class and think a bit. I have to try to ignore her awhile.
Seeing her in my shirt is driving me crazy. How can I ignore her? I need to let her go, but I don’t think I can. Just ignore her. Just ignore her. Just ignore her, I think over and over all during class, and maybe she will get mad and leave. Then I won’t have to explain to her how I might destroy her life one day if she fell in love with me and I ended up dying on her.
This is harder than not wanting to be with someone because I feel so close to her already. I know I should just talk to her. I am so scared that she might up and leave me because of my weakness. I try to be strong around everyone, but I know I am on borrowed time that my brother gave me.
Class is almost over and I still don’t know what I am going to do. I haven’t even listened to the teacher and now I probably will have to ask Alexia what I have missed. I am going crazy over this woman and still don’t know why or what to do.
Chapter Fifteen
Alexia
This class is a waste of my time today. I haven’t paid attention one bit to the professor, and now Phillip is ignoring me. I will have to find someone else in class to tell me what I missed. I really don’t know what is up with him. He is like a different person. It is crazy.
The way he kissed me before I left made me weak in the knees and I wanted more of that with him. Maybe I am thinking about this too much, and maybe his mood isn’t about me. Maybe someone made him upset before class. Perhaps it was the friends who were still at his place when I left. Maybe they don’t think I am good enough for him.
I’m really not good enough for him. I am broken and just fixed for a little while. If we did get to together, I couldn’t even give him kids. I have to live by taking medicine everyday. Maybe his ignoring me is for the best. He needs a girl who could give him everything he needs. As soon as class is over, I make a beeline out the door. I am out the door in a flash and so glad to be free. A tear slips out one of my eyes. I quickly wipe it away and head out of the building. My goal is to go straight to my dorm and not come out until I get my head straight.
Just as I get out of the building, I almost run straight into Megan. I look up at her to tell her that I am sorry, but she asks, “Why are you in such a hurry and where are you going?”
“I was headed back to my dorm. I have homework to work on.” I tell her this big lie so I can get moving on. I don’t want to be out here when Phillip comes out of the building, and I know it will be soon but she keeps on talking.
“You should come hang out with my friends and me because we are going to the beach for a while,” she smiles.
“Sorry, I can’t. I have another class soon.” Trying to get away from her.
“Oh skip it and come to the beach. You’re so pale. You look like you need a week at the beach and then maybe and you might get a small amount of color. I know Phillip likes his girls tan” she hatefully tells me this. Now I know she is jealous of me because Phillip turned her down last night. Kristen warned me about her this morning.
I am now upset with her and her rude comments. “I really don’t care what you think or what Phillip thinks about me. If I go to the beach, it will be by myself. I don’t care to have a tan. I don’t need one. I will be me the way I want to be me and not for anyone else. So go and leave me alone.”
I try to get away, but she steps right front of me and stops me, “I bet Phillip was late to class today. He told me he had to go but couldn’t leave me. He kept me in his king-sized bed for way too long this morning after you left. He said all he wanted was to be with me, but you wouldn’t leave so I could come over sooner. Leave him alone so we can get on with our lives without you trying to get in the way.” She smirks her smile at me.
“You can have him. He is just my study partner,” I leave as fast as I can. I want this day to be over with.
How could I be so stupid to even think about saying yes to him? He said that everyone thought he was a player, but he also said that it wasn’t true. He must have been lying to me. The first time I open myself up and let someone in I get hurt. What a fool I have been. Never again I want to live my life and not have to worry about anyone else.
I get to my room and sit on my bed just to relax for a few minutes. I have another class soon. Having a minute to myself is wonderful. I hope Kristen doesn’t come back right now. I don’t want to talk to anyone.
I take my medicine. I almost forgot to take it. My mom would be unhappy if I forgot.
Before I know it, I wake up about an hour later. Oh no! If I don’t hurry and leave I will be late for class. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep, and now I will miss eating which isn’t good for me. I hurry to my class, and before I get there, I buy something from a vending machine. I arrive at the next building and have a few minutes to spare. After this class, I will head out somewhere to fine myself something extra good and I don’t care how many calories it has. I need comfort food.
Class goes by super fast and I am glad. I don’t go back to my room, heading straight to my car instead. I drive to my favorite burger place. A day like today, I need a good burger and maybe some fries too. I decide to get it to-go so I can head to the beach. I love it there, and a picnic on the beach is what I need. I always c
arry a book with me, so I can read, relax, and eat in peace.
I don’t drive far because it doesn’t matter where I go to the beach. I do like the more private areas, and I just found a nice place. I get my chair, food, and book and make my way to the beach. This is why I wanted to go to school here.
I set everything up and eat while I read my book. Yeah, this is what I needed. I want to forget about today and relax. I know I will have to finish my biology project though so I think I will do it all by myself. As I get into my book, I relax even more. I don’t realize it is getting late until it is almost dark. I guess I need to head back to my dorm room.
As I finish packing up my things, I get a text from Phillip. He wants me to come over and work on our project tonight. I don’t feel like it. I text back and tell him not tonight, that I am busy. He texts back several times trying to get me to come over, but I tell him no. I turn my phone off and head my to my dorm.
I realize once I get back to my dorm that I finally am relaxed for the first time today and that makes me smile. The beach and a good book, plus an awesome burger and fries, was just what I needed. I go in my room and see that Kristen isn’t here. I sort of glad for that too. I decide to get ready for bed. When I go to take off my shirt, I noticed that I still have his t-shirt on. How did I forget that I was still wearing it all day? Must have been all the stress. Oh well. Now off it goes, and on with my pajamas. I brush my hair and teeth then get in bed. I am restless, so I get my book out to read for a while. I set my clock so I will be able to get up in the morning. Sometimes I fall to sleep when I read and tonight I might do that. Best to be prepared.
My clock goes off and I smack it to hit the snooze button. Today I get to snooze and I like it. In between my sleeping, I start to think about yesterday, waking up with Phillip. Yes it was nice, but I don’t care for all his stress and drama. Today, I plan on ignoring him in class.
I get up to get ready. While in the shower, I think about how I will dress extra nice today and make him appreciate what he is going to miss out on. I put on my sexy short shorts and really cute top that hugs my body in all the right places. I even take extra time to fix my hair and makeup. I look in the mirror and think, Wow, who is this woman looking back at me? I go to grab my things and backpack.
The dorm room door flies open and in comes Kristen. I smile at her. I know she has been out all night. She was just kidding with me about that yesterday. Now it is payback time. “
I see who really is doing the walk of shame.” I laugh.
Kristen grins wide at me. “Yeah, you know it all, girl. Yes, I am doing it and proud of it. Look at you! You are super hot with that outfit on, and look at you hair! It is gorgeous. Who are you dressed up for?” Is it Phillip?”
“I haven’t dressed up for anyone, just for me only,” I lie. “You are right about Phillip, being a player, by the way. Megan told me all about him and her getting together after I left yesterday. How dare him to ask me to be his girlfriend and then turn around and screw around on me as soon as I get out the door?” I tell her all about yesterday, and she seems surprised about Phillip.
“I can’t believe he would do that with her. He always stays away from her no matter what or where he is. I saw him just the other day go out a different door because she was coming in the way he was headed out. He actually ran out that other door to get away and it was that obvious to anyone around. She is like the plague that won’t go away,” Kristen tells me.
“Well she knew a lot about when I left and what was in his bedroom. How would she know that if it weren’t true? He was even late for class like she said and he didn’t speak to me during the whole class. I think that is suspicious of him so it seems to be true.”
Kristen looks like she still doesn’t believe it. “I don’t get it. I have known both of them and have been to a lot of parties with them both. All I have ever seen is that Phillip blows off Megan every time. This doesn’t add up to me unless he finally caved into her advances. Still I don’t believe it. Maybe she told you a big lie to get you to stay away from him.”
“Maybe she did. That doesn’t answer why he didn’t talk to me in class yesterday.” I say this, but I remember him coming in late and then I ran out the door so fast he couldn’t have said anything.
“No it doesn’t, but you should ask him about it and he will probably tell you. Did you stay after class and ask him why he wasn’t talking?” Kristen asked.
I frown. “No. I was upset, ran out the door, and then ran right into Megan.”
“See? You didn’t even give him a chance. I bet he was wondering why you ran away so fast. Has is called or texted you since then?”
“Yes. He has texted me to come study. I told him no and turned off my phone.”
“Well turn on your phone and let’s see what you have missed,” she suggests.
I grab my phone and turn it on. As Kristen predicted, it has several texts from Phillip. He kept texting me to come over and that he was sorry about not getting to class early enough to talk to me. Maybe Kristen was right and Megan was lying. How did I get into so much drama with Phillip and Megan? I don’t need this stress.
“Okay, it looks like he is sorry and I now believe Megan was totally lying her face off. When you get to class, ask him what his problem was yesterday and ask him about what Megan said. Just plain and simple, use your mouth to ask questions. Do not hide out and think the worst until you know for sure what is going. How did you get into this drama so fast? Megan will probably make your life worse if you date Phillip. Don’t let her know she can bother you because that will make her worse. Phillip must really be interested in you since he has texted so many times. You are the first girl I know of who has caught his attention for more than a few minutes, and that makes you a lucky girl. I say hear him, out and if you hear the right answer, go for it. Who knows he might be the one for you.” Kristen smiles.
“You make it sound so simple. Maybe he is the one, but I don’t know if I’m good for him. I sure hope he wasn’t screwing around with Megan as soon as I left the condo. I think that would break my heart a little just knowing he was that bad of a person. What if I ask him and it is true?” I look up at Kristen and she is still smiling at me.
“I see it and it is so clear to me now. How could I have missed, what was right in front of me? I am usually good at reading people, but I missed it,” she says, like she knows a secret.
“What do you see so clearly?” I ask, wondering what. I’m a little bit scared to find out.
Kristen jumps from her bed and walks over to mine. She sits down beside me, puts her hands on my face, and looks right into my eyes. “You are already in love with Phillip. That is what I see and that is why you are already afraid he might break your heart. What if he tells you nothing happened and he had a good reason to not talk to you yesterday? Maybe he was afraid that he was already falling for you too and might be as scared as you about these feelings. Just talk to him and see what he says. I know you love him already. If he is seeing Megan than get out of it now before there will be no going back. As I see it right now, you would still be okay if he doesn’t feel the same. Listen to your heart and you will know if things are right between the two of you.”
“I do have feelings for him. Not sure what they are yet. I guess I will talk to him. I am not as confident as you are though. I don’t know if I should get involved with anyone. My life hasn’t been the perfect one, and I’m afraid to bring anyone else into it.” I tell her hoping she doesn’t ask what happened in my past. “What is going to be your major anyway? You seem to be so smart about everything and give the best advice.
“Well my major is going to be psychology because I plan on being a marriage counselor, so I am already getting good at helping people. I believe Phillip would be lucky to have you in his life, so don’t ever think you’re not good enough for anybody. I am glad to have you in my life and I have just met you. You bring life into this world and light up everyone around you. Now I have to go to shower or I
will be late for my class. You look beautiful today. Go knock Phillip’s socks off.” She hurries to the bathroom.
I am smiling by the time she gets to the bathroom. I look at the clock and find out now I only have a little bit of time to get to class. I grab my things and out the door. I think all the way to class. How can I be brave enough to ask Phillip if he slept with Megan? He may get mad at me and tell me that it isn’t any of my business who he sleeps with. I sure hope he didn’t. Every time I think about him and her together, my stomach feels queasy.
I get to class with barely a minute to spare. I see Phillip has already made it before I did and he seems happy that I made it to class. Wondering if he thought I wasn’t coming or hoping I wouldn’t be here. I get ready to say hello to him, but the professor tells everyone to be quiet and have a seat.
The professor starts class right away and I barely have time to think about anything but the notes I am taking. I look over and see Phillip taking his notes. I know I have to wait until class is over to talk to him.
As soon as class is about over, Phillip tosses a folded-up paper on my desk. I pick it up and bring my gaze up to his. He smiles at me, and it takes my breath away. I look down and unfold the paper. What I see is a letter to me, and I think, Why write a letter? I stop listening to the professor and read my letter.
Alexia,
I want you to know that I am sorry about my bad mood yesterday and it had nothing to with you. I want to talk to you about it when we get done with all of our classes today. I hope you don’t have plans for this evening. I want you to come over to my place and I will even cook dinner for you. I know I can’t cook much, but I will cook something. I really would enjoy cooking for you. So please don’t say no.
I did follow you out of class yesterday and I heard what Megan said to you. So you know, I never did anything she said. I have never had her in my condo or any other girl. That is my private place and I don’t let people in unless they are special to me. She did come by my condo yesterday and she must have seen you leave. The security guard wouldn’t let her in and I told him to never let her in. As I got to school yesterday, she cornered me as soon as I got out of my car. She told me she came over and kept on hitting on me. I told her to leave me alone. She got mad at me and told me I would be sorry. Even told me she would make you sorry for knowing me. I just wanted you to know she is very selfish and will try to make you upset with me. I wanted to tell you all this yesterday, but you wouldn’t answer my texts or calls. I am so sorry for any hurt she may have cause you, and I wish I could take away any pain she may have done. Please forgive me for the pain you might have felt. I never want to cause you any kind of pain or suffering ever.