by T. R. Lykins
“I was mad at you. I came here yesterday to think and I wanted to be alone to do it, so I turned off my phone. Kristen told me this morning that you always stayed away from Megan no matter where you were. Megan must be crazy or obsessed with you to act the way she does. The only things I still don’t understand is why you didn’t talk to me in class yesterday and gave me the cold shoulder.” I frown at him.
“Well, I don’t know how to talk about this. It might change your mind about me, and it is even harder now that we seem to be getting along.” He looks sad.
“Don’t be afraid to talk to me, Phillip. If you can’t talk to me about it, then we shouldn’t be together,” I say, but now I am terrified of what he might say. I am also remembering that I have been keeping something big from him.
“Okay, you are right. We can’t keep things from each other if we are going to be together. This will affect you and maybe hurt you, if not now, but later.” He sighs.
“Okay, out with it and now please. I have to know what it is. You are making me scared by not telling me what it is. ” Now I am really afraid.
“Well you know about my surgery. When I first got my brother’s liver, I had a hard time accepting it. The doctors had to put me on a lot of different medication and I have to take it everyday or I will die. I didn’t want you to have to be without me, if we were together. Who knows, if my medicine will stop working? And I might die from it. I didn’t want to put you into that situation. I was debating the whole class how I was going to drop that bomb on you, only to have Megan to drop hers first. You should be able to be with someone who is healthy enough to be with you forever. I don’t want to put you through the pain of losing someone.”
I am in shock. Not because I am afraid of him dying, but because it is the same with me. I could be the one who could possibly die. He doesn’t even know this yet, and now I feel guilty for not telling him about my heart transplant. I have to think on how to do this, but not today. I really need to do it soon before we get more involved in our relationship. Yes. I am being a coward today.
“Phillip I know all about that, so don’t be afraid of it. I will never, not chose you, because of that. Everyone can die at any time, and you know this. Trying to stay away from one another because you are afraid I will be hurt is not going to happen. I could be hurt at any time or you might get hurt. We should never think of the awful things that can or could happen. By the way, if I choose you, it will be because I want to be with you, and I won’t let anything like that get in my way.” I say this, but still I feel like a hypocrite for not telling him about me. Why am I holding back? I don’t know yet. I have to wait until I’m ready, and maybe that will be soon, but not today.
He smiles at me and my stomach does a flip-flop, “Well I hope I didn’t scare you off because I want to live everyday to the fullest and be with you.”
“Okay,” I tell him.
He looks confused. ‘Uh, What are you saying okay to?” he asks.
“Do I have to spell it out for you, Phillip? I said okay to us. Unless you changed your mind about me being your girlfriend?”
As soon as I get those words out, he has me pulled out of the chair and on his lap. Phillip holds me close to him and kisses me with everything in him. I feel the intensity of the kiss all the way down my back to my feet. While he is kissing me, he keeps running his hands all over my body, and I can feel the passion rising in the bottom of my tummy and down between my legs. As the passion is heating up inside of me, I begin to really kiss him back and I even straddle his lap. I have never even been this close to a guy before, and I can feel that he is getting really turned on. This makes me more excited.
I keep at him like I know what I am doing, but really I don’t. I am letting go and letting nature takes its course. I love the way I feel in Phillips arms, and he kisses me with fervidness that would set the world on fire. I know that if we don’t stop soon I think I will let him have his way with me, and I noticed that I have begun rocking on him while I’m still on his lap. He lets out a moan. I am moaning right with him.
Suddenly, we hear someone one behind us and stop to see who it is. Now I feel extremely embarrassed, about what I was doing right here on a beach for whoever to see. My face feels really flushed, and I bet it is blood red.
The person who interrupted us begins to talk. “You two know this is a public beach right? If you keep acting like that, then you should leave. There are kids right over there playing, and they even could see you. Now stop or leave. I would hate to have to call the cops on you two,” the guy says and walks away.
Phillip looks into my eyes with all the emotion I am still feeling. “I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have done that to you here. I meant to kiss you. Once we got started, I couldn’t stop. You make me feel alive inside for the first time in my life. All could think about is how I could get you closer. Please forgive me for embarrassing you in front of everyone. It won’t happen again. By the way, thank you for saying yes. I now have a girlfriend for the first time of my life and it feels wonderful.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I was enjoying your kisses, as you were mine. I felt everything you did and I am as much to blame. I wanted to be closer to you too. I am a virgin though, so this is something I have never done before. I never wanted to be with a guy like that and I am embarrassed with my actions. I have never had a boyfriend. You are my first everything, and I will have to keep more control on my raging hormones. I didn’t mean to give you the wrong impression to think I would go further with you this soon. I want you extremely bad. I want to get to know you more before that next step happens. If you can wait, that is. Can you?” I look up at him hoping he will be able too.
“I want to take it slow with you too. You are my first girlfriend and now I wished, I had waited so you could be my first also. I wish I could have take that back and kept it for you. You are a terrific girl and I can’t wait until we have many more firsts in everything else. Like our first date, for example, which we haven’t had. We seem to have skipped that part. How about you, my girlfriend, go and get ready for your first date with me?” He is asking me out on our first date. Wow, we did skip many steps.
I grin at him, “Well, being that we already slept together, why not go out on a date? Sounds like fun to me. Where are you going to take me and what time?”
He laughs at me. “You are right, we have slept together, but really not what your smart butt was meaning. The place I am taking you to is a surprise. You will have to dress up causally for it. How about seven tonight? That will give you about a couple hours to get ready and I will come pick you up. If you would like, pack an overnight bag and your books. We might as well study after we finish our date so we can keep our hands off each other,” he says, but I can see passion still in those eyes.
“Overnight bag? You mean you want me to stay all night? I’m not ready to go further with you, Phillip. You will have to keep it PG-rating if I stay. Can you do that?” I ask, batting my eyes up at him.
“I will. I promise. You will make it hard for me though. Having you with me will make it worth it. I miss you when you’re not with me. You better hurry and leave so I can come get you. You are already running behind as we speak.”
He gets up and gathers all my things. He even carries everything back to my car. Such a gentleman he is. After we get everything loaded he pulls me close and gives me another fiery kiss that lights up my insides. Maybe not too much of a gentleman as he runs his hands down my back and grabs my butt.
I laugh at him when he does this. “You sure you can keep it PG tonight, sweetie?”
He grins wickedly. “Yes of course I can. I didn’t say I would keep my hands off what is mine.” He laughs and grabs my butt again then turns and heads off to his car. What have I gotten myself into? I don’t know if I can keep my hands off him either.
I drive back to my dorm room with a smile on my face. I actually hope Kristen is in the room. I can get her to help me pick what I need to wear tonig
ht. As I drive, my phone beeps with a text, and when I stop at a red light I glance at it to see who its from. It is from Phillip, saying that he is already missing me and can’t wait until tonight. This makes me smile even more. I wonder if everyone who finds someone to love feels this way. I feel like I’m floating on a cloud. I hurry back to my room and so I can finally get ready for my first date.
I open the door and see Kristen relaxing on her bed reading. She looks up and smiles really wide. “Well, it looks like someone had a great day with that happy face you’re making. How did it go with Phillip?”
I sit down and tell her everything that happened today, from my letter, to him following me to the beach and our talk while we were there, but I left out about our make-out session.
“You have to help me pick out a nice outfit to wear tonight. I don’t know where we are going. I think I need to dress up. Will you help me?”
“Of course I will help. Let’s get you all dressed up and I will even fix your hair. He will be wowed with how beautiful you will look.”
She gets up and goes through my closet to pull out my clothes before she picks out an outfit I didn’t even know I had. It looks awesome together. I go take a shower and get dressed. By the time I get my hair done, it is almost time for Phillip to arrive.
I hurry and put some of my things in my overnight bag and I even throw in Phillips t-shirt. When I get done, I go take a look at myself in the mirror to see how I look. I can’t believe I can look like this once I get dressed up. I look pretty good for a girl who almost died and I frown at myself for not telling him about my transplant. Now I know I have to tell him, because he was worried about the same thing as me. He doesn’t even know I am worried about the same thing.
Kristen looks at me. “Wow! You look amazing, and you will not get any studying done tonight. Don’t even take your books.” She laughs.
“We have to work on our project or we won’t get done. Yes studying will happen.” She laughs again at me like she knows better. Maybe she knows me better than I do.
Before I even get to think more about it, there is a knock on the door. I freeze and look at Kristen.
She answers the door. “Well, hello, Phillip. Do you want to come in or are you ready to take my girl out now? You know, you better not hurt her or I will come looking for you and hurt you worse than you ever could be hurt. You understand what I’m saying? She looks right into his eyes for a few seconds before turning to me and winking.
“Yes, Kristen, I understand you clearly and I don’t plan to ever hurt Alexia. She is too special to me. I’m ready to go whenever she is.” He looks at me for the first time. “Wow! Alexia, you are the most beautiful woman in the world.” He smiles at me and my heart starts beating faster. “Are you ready to go or do you need a few more minutes?” He is already being a gentleman.
“I am ready to go now.” I turn to Kristen. “Thank you for helping me this afternoon.”
“You are welcome, and I loved doing it.” She gets close to me and whispers in my ear, “Girl, you are in trouble. This guy is in love with you as much as you are him. Don’t be scared go with it and enjoy each other.” She gives me a hug and turns us toward Phillip. “Now, you two… Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do and have fun tonight. Please use protection if you start having extra fun tonight,” she tells us both. Then winks at us and pushes us right out the door.
I turn toward Phillip and see that he is blushing as much as I am. Kristen is blunt about what she says and knows how to embarrass everyone around her. That is why I like her so much. Phillip grabs my bags and my hand. We head out to go on our date.
Chapter Eighteen
Phillip
I can’t believe she knew I was following her. I really thought I was doing a good job. Even thought that maybe I should be a private investigator. There goes that plan really fast. Oh well, I’m glad she is happy to see me and she even bought me food. Yeah, a girl after my own heart for sure. Wait! She all ready has it. She doesn’t even know it yet, but still she got me food. Wow! What an amazing woman she is and she keeps getting better. She even has one of my favorite sandwiches. She must be a mind reader. That’s what it is. That reminds me of a movie I watched while I was in the hospital. It was a chick-flick movie but I was to bored and tired to change the channel. The one of the main characters could read minds.
She hands me my food and we eat in peace. Like we were meant for each other and enjoy each other’s company, even while sitting quietly together. We finish our food. I grab her hand and I tell her everything about what the letter said was true and how sorry I am about how mean Megan is. I even tell her about what had me in my bad mood yesterday. That I was scared that she would be in pain if anything happened to my sick body. That still makes me sad to think about that if something happens to me, I won’t be there for her and she will have to go through the pain I would cause her. I know this will have to be her decision. I had to tell her so that she can decide if she can be with me. Her decision scares me the most. What if she doesn’t decide me? Which would be best for her? I know it would hurt me horribly if she chooses not to pick me.
She tells me that it doesn’t bother her about my possibility of dying and that we need to live our life to the fullest each day. She is the smartest girl in the world. Holding her hand and sitting on the beach with her makes this day the best ever. My heart keeps growing with love for her with each word she tells me. She seems to know about loss and what it means that we could die any time, when our time is up. She looks sad when she talks about this and I wonder why. I decide to ask her to live life to the fullest every day with me. I really don’t think she will tell me yes, but I guy can hope for the best.
Still holding my hand, she turns and smiles and says yes. I think for a minute and wonder what she is really saying yes to. Is she really saying that she will be my girl? I ask her and that is what she meant. Yes! She is going to be mine.
I grab her out of her seat and sit her in my lap so fast that I even surprise myself. I start kissing her and I lose control of myself. I kiss her like there is no tomorrow and I don’t even want to stop, but I know I should. We keep kissing, and the more we kiss, the more I get turned on right here on the beach, but I can’t stop. She sets me on fire as she starts rubbing herself on my lap. I know if she doesn’t stop soon that I think I am going to explode.
She keeps kissing me, and oh, do I love they way she kisses me, and she even moans. Good grief, I can’t stop myself. I want to strip her of her clothes right now. She has me even moaning with those lips and her rocking on my lap. I can feel the passion all the way down my body and definitely in my lap. When I can hardly take much more, I hear someone clear his throat behind us.
That makes us stop really fast. I look into her eyes and see that this has embarrassed her. I smile at her to let her know that it is all right. The guy let us know that kids were watching us, so we should stop making out on a public beach before he leaves. Thank goodness. If he’d seen how turned on I am, he probably would call the cops. I tell her that I’m sorry for acting that way here on the beach. I thanked her for being my girlfriend, which makes me the happiest guy ever.
I ask her to go out on a date with me since she is my girlfriend now. I at least should take her out on a first date seeing as we already skipped the first date and went straight into a relationship. Really it seems like we have known each other longer and it feels right to have her to be mine. Mine. I love the sound of her being mine.
She tells me that she is a virgin and I’m not surprised. I tell her that I wish I had waited for her. I really mean that too. Having sex isn’t the same if you don’t love the person you’re with. When Alexia and I do go down that road it won’t be sex, it will be making love. Making love, because I’m in love with Alexia.
Alexia jokes about already sleeping together and being in a relationship before going on a date. She sure is funny, this girl of mine. I tell her to pack an overnight bag. I’m not going to bring her back once she is at my
condo. I let her know we that won’t go any further than she wants to and I will keep that promise even if I have to go take several cold showers just to have her next to me.
I help get all her stuff back to her car, but I can’t leave until I kiss her once more. I even grab her butt and pull her close to me. She laughs at me and asks me if I can keep it PG tonight. She even calls me sweetie, and I hope I can keep it PG tonight. I tell her yes and that she better get going so I can pick her up tonight.
Alexia leaves me first and I can’t help the smile that comes across my face. I am so far gone and head over heels in love with her. I climb into my car and send her a text. I hope she waits and reads it when she gets back to her dorm. I don’t want anything to happen to her by reading my text and driving.
I head toward my condo when my phone rings. I see that it is Tyler, so I answer it, “Hey, what’s up Tyler?
“Nothing much. Jacob and I are thinking about going a football game tonight and thought we would ask you to come along. Do you want to come with us?”