The scientist in her attempted to analyze what had happened. Though she had previously felt attraction, even strong desire, mindless lust was completely unfamiliar to her. She hadn't known it could strip her good sense and turn her into a wanton without her conscious approval. In a way though, she wished he had satisfied her more fully. Then perhaps she wouldn't be even now fighting the urge to move closer to him.
She should not have been aroused at all. There had been no gentle foreplay or coaxing of her desire. There were no words of admiration, let alone devotion. Now that she gave it more thought, there had been few words of any kind... with the exception of his straightforward offer and her unhesitating acceptance.
She should have been able to warm his body without being overwhelmed with desire. She should have been able to resist satisfying the need to feel him inside her.
He'd been aggressive, somewhat rough and so hurried that she should have been disgusted. There were a lot of shoulds and none of them had mattered at the time.
At least he had admitted to a certain bewilderment also. She hoped he would accept her decision not to explore the attraction between them any further. As soon as she had the thought, she felt a twinge of regret. Her scientific curiosity wanted to examine it until she understood how it worked. She knew instinctively though that she lacked the ability to impersonally study the feelings without involving her heart.
The sharing of one's body should have more meaning than a biological release and coupling without an emotional bond went against her personal morals. There. She felt better after repeating her beliefs to herself. She would remind herself of those beliefs whenever the weakness came over her.
If that didn't work, she would recall the fact that he was only with her because of her tempometer and not due to any sincere personal interest, which put him in the same category as her other two lovers. She was simply the available body to him.
If that were still not enough, there was the most important reason of all not to give in to the weakness. He intended to stop her from completing her mission. Her one foray with him into the halls of lust let her know she could be controlled by her own passion and she didn't put it past him to use any method available to achieve his goals over hers.
If he tried to kiss her again, she would force herself to refuse and hope he was convinced that seduction was a waste of time with her.
The future of Innerworld depended on her remembering that Gabriel Drumayne was her enemy.
Chapter 5
The contents of Gabriel's satchel continued to amaze Shara as the day wore on. The compressed meals he referred to looked like thin crackers and could be consumed in that form if necessary. However, the addition of melted snow and a few seconds in his collapsible cooker turned the crackers into tasty vegetable omelets. He also had a choice of several powders to mix with more melted snow to make soups and drinks. He explained that he had the equipment to create a limited supply of water, but that it wasn't necessary to waste what he'd brought under the circumstances. And, of course, they had his seemingly endless supply of Caresses.
She found using his portable sanitary unit embarrassing, but more practical than baring her bottom outdoors to relieve herself. At least he had been considerate enough to bundle himself in his sleeping pouch and go outside for the minute it took her to use the unit. She assumed he took care of his own needs while he was out there. Nature definitely gave men a few advantages when it came to survival.
By the time the sun slipped below the horizon, they had reviewed and analyzed Lantana's notes and checked and rechecked what Shara had done, yet they hadn't been able to discern her error.
Underlying it all had been a current of crackling tension that had both of them jumping at the sound of the other's voice and being overly cautious about their movements.
Frustrated, tired and cramped, Shara sighed aloud. "There must be something missing from his notes."
"Considering his advanced age, that could be a possibility. I'd suggest we start looking for what is not written here, like the effect of external temperatures. Why don't we have our evening ration of food and get some sleep? Maybe we've been at it too long to see clearly."
She nodded and set aside the tempometer belt and notes but she couldn't set aside her fears as easily. In theory, it had all seemed so simple. In reality, she might never get back to her own time, let alone fix something that happened before. If they didn't figure out what went wrong, they could soon be facing slow death by starvation. To get her mind off the gloomier possibilities, she asked him to tell her about another one of his adventures.
He gave it some thought as he prepared their meal then said, "You might find my very first journey interesting. I was young, mind you, and lacked practical experience, but I thought I could handle anything. Rather than visit a culture that had been written up in detail, I wanted to uncover something totally new, right away.
"I chose a settlement on a small planet in the Telvar system, where the inhabitants were a humanoid species on the lower end of the evolutionary scale. What interested me most was that they supposedly lacked the power of speech, as well as any telepathic ability. You remember what I told you about my childhood, so you can imagine how enticing a completely silent culture would be to me. I was determined to find out how they communicated.
"I had heard tales of journeyors allowing primitive tribes to believe they were gods and I had sworn I would never do something so unethical. I was prepared to put these people at ease and show them I was not much different from them as soon as I arrived.
"When my ship landed, however, I never even made it outside before they attacked. A small army of the local residents surrounded the ship and tried to beat it to death with sticks. The brief information I had found regarding their evolutionary level seemed accurate. They were short, with almost no necks or foreheads, and had arms long enough to rest on all fours. The men and women were both covered with hair but their faces and general forms were decidedly humanoid.
"For the next two days, they continued to bang on the outside of the ship. Replacements came to relieve the original attackers then the replacements were relieved in turn. I felt like I was sitting inside a metal drum. Even after I plugged my ears, the vibration from the noise was driving me insane. I refused to give up on my first journey but I wasn't about to leave the ship and be instantly killed either. I kept thinking they'd get tired and back off long enough for me to show them I had come in peace but it didn't look like they were going to give me that chance."
Shara took a plate of food from his hand but her attention was on him. "What did you do?"
He shrugged and made a slight face. "I took off my jammer to find out just how dangerous they were. At first, because I didn't pick up any mental voices, I thought something had happened to my ability. Then an image flashed in my mind and I realized they thought in picture form. They all had a similar picture in mind.
"Apparently they thought the ship was a sort of giant nut that had fallen from a tall tree and they were trying to crack it open to get to the food inside."
Shara smiled along with him. "So they meant you no harm after all."
"Not unless they were cannibals... which they weren't." He took a bite of his dinner and washed it down with a fruit drink. "Once I'd given in to using my mental disability to solve the first problem, I threw out most of my other resolutions as well. Using the ship's defense system, I dazzled them with a fireworks display, while I broadcast a lively symphony recording out to them.
"They may not have thought I was a god, since that concept was too complex for them, but they were sufficiently awed to give me the break I needed to leave the ship unharmed. I performed a few tricks, like making fire come out of a box, and they accepted my presence in their village. That was the first time I realized that I hadn't learned everything I needed to know in Parson's Colony. Sometimes unethical methods are the only ones that work."
"I understand what you mean. I've been telling myself everything I've
done recently will be worth it in the end."
"The only problem with that line of thinking is you don't find out if you made a wrong decision until it's too late."
Shara grimaced. "Do you think that's what happened when the Noronian rebels were exiled to Outerworld Terra? They did what they thought they had to do, but it turned out to be the wrong choices."
"I believe so," he replied, nodding thoughtfully. "History reports that the rebels abused the natives' trust and became power hungry. I'm hoping to confirm or refute that information firsthand."
As soon as the discussion veered into the explosive topic of their individual goals, Shara drew him back to his story. "Did you ever figure out how those people in the Telvar system communicated?"
"That and everything else about them. From what I could tell, they had no enemies other than nature, so they had no reason to fear me or hide anything. I wrote my first published monograph on their culture. The reason they didn't speak was that their vocal chords were only in the early stages of development. A few of them could manage a grunt but they rarely used it. Their language was pictures."
"Like hieroglyphics?"
"Not precisely. They didn't use symbols or stick figures. They actually created realistic drawings. Almost every one of them was gifted with tremendous artistic ability. Any available surface was used to express themselves—rocks, trees, cave walls—or they just scratched their pictures into the dirt with pointed sticks. Of course, getting an idea across sometimes took hours but time had very little relevance to them."
Shara could not imagine ever being that patient. "Tell me, did you enjoy the silence as much as you expected to?"
Gabriel laughed. "For the most part. Though I'll admit, after a few months I occasionally felt the need to converse with my ship's computer."
"A few months? I'm not the most sociable person but I doubt I'd last that long without any sort of dialogue."
Gabriel collapsed the cooker and stowed it away. "I find that brief interludes of sociability are more than adequate."
"Yet you seemed to enjoy teaching me about old Norona and telling me about your journeys."
He rubbed his chin. "I suppose I do. It must be because you're a good listener." Again it struck him that his normal behavior had been altered in her presence.
Gabriel was well into his third tale when the glow from the heater orb abruptly dimmed. Shara stared at it fearfully and asked, "What's happening to it?"
Glancing up at the darkened sky, he could see the first stars had begun to appear. "It's conserving the energy it stored all day. A small amount of energy can be absorbed from the reflected light off the stars and moon but not enough to maintain all night the warm temperature it's been emitting so far. Don't worry, though. The sleeping pouch will keep us quite comfortable."
Shara's gaze darted from the orb, to the pouch rolled up in the corner, to Gabriel. He didn't look like he had any ulterior motives in mind but those angel eyes of his were impossible to read. "I don't believe we should share your pouch again. I'll put on some extra clothing and—"
"Don't be foolish. You may not freeze to death outside of the pouch but you would be too cold to get a decent night's sleep. We're both rational adults. If you don't wish to repeat what happened before, we won't." Gabriel couldn't understand why she would not want to repeat something so pleasurable when it had not left his mind all day, but he would abide by her decision regardless of how unreasonable it was.
Shara held to her belief that she would be fine without his body heat, while he summarized his last story, unrolled the pouch, removed his clothing and climbed inside. But as the temperature inside the tent gradually grew chillier, she admitted that she was indeed being foolish. Hugging her knees to her chest, she waited until she was certain he'd dozed off.
As she attempted to discreetly make an opening for herself, he said, "You'll be much more comfortable without your clothing."
Then she remembered his comment about being a light sleeper. "No, I won't."
"Stubborn woman. You're cold," he complained, but made room for her anyway.
She tried to find a position where the least amount of their bodies would be touching.
"Give it up, Shara," he finally said in a tone that showed he was losing patience with her. With little effort, he shifted them both onto their sides with her in front of him. His arm, wrapped snugly around her waist, held her against him. "Now go to sleep. We'll get up at first light and start again."
She took a shaky breath and ordered herself to relax.
This was practical, not intimate. But if it wasn't intimate, why was she so aware of how solid he felt against her back, or precisely how large his hand was where it covered her ribs? Or how she could feel his body changing because of her nearness?
He was an opponent, not a lover.
Her heart should not have been racing. The pulse between her legs should not have been awakened. In spite of her mental insistence that she would not succumb to her weakness, her body had acknowledged his touch and began readying itself for him.
"Are you frightened?" he whispered in her ear.
His warm breath sent a shiver down her spine. "Yes, a little."
"I can feel your heart pounding," he murmured. His hand slid up and pressed between her breasts as if to slow the heavy beating. "Is it the situation... or is it me?"
She opened her mouth to answer, but his palm brushed over one puckered nipple, then the other. Her soft moan encouraged him to cup that breast while his thumb continued to tease its peak through the thin layer of cloth. She felt him getting harder and bigger as he moved against her bottom and she sighed with the frustration of wanting and not wanting.
His warm lips planted a trail of teasing kisses along her jaw, luring her mouth closer and closer to his, as his hand crept down her stomach in search of an even more sensitive area. Her mind was rapidly losing the battle of willpower against her body and she knew if she could not withstand his advances this time, it would be easier for her body to win the next time, and the next, until her mind had no say in the matter at all. Until he and his delicious mouth controlled her every thought and deed... as long as he needed her.
And when his need of her was ended, he'd be gone and she'd have nothing and no one. Again.
"No!" she said, pushing his hand away and sitting up to face him. "I said I don't wish to couple with you and I mean it. I intend to find the Noronian rebels and stop one of them from getting to Terra and none of your sly tricks are going to stop me."
Gabriel raised his brows in surprise. "Tricks?" He sat up beside her. "What are you raving about now?"
"I am not raving," she said, purposely lowering her voice to prove her point. "I am simply warning you that I know what you're trying to do. Perhaps someone more naive would have fallen for your little seduction act but—"
"Stop it!" Grasping her shoulders, he gave her a light shake. "What you're accusing me of is not only untrue but insulting. You're a beautiful woman and I'm physically drawn to you. Period. Your self-appointed mission was the last thing on my mind a moment ago. If anything, you're the one who could end up influencing my judgment with your sexuality."
Shara shook her head and looked away. "I don't need any false flattery. I'm fully aware of just how resistible I am to men."
He started to argue with her but held back. There was no sense in convincing her that she might have some power that she didn't know about, especially since he hadn't yet figured it out for himself. He stopped her from leaving the pouch. "Wait. I'm not going to pretend I understand you when I don't but I won't try to seduce you again. Lie back down, Shara. I've never forced myself on a female before. I'm not going to start with you."
With a frown, she inched her way back into the pouch. This time however, their backs were turned to each other. Sheer exhaustion overcame Shara's nervous condition and she eventually fell asleep.
A very vivid dream awakened her just as dawn was breaking. Her name was being called but she couldn't t
ell where the voice was coming from. A frantic search through a house of doors, then a snowy forest, led her to the foot of an erupting volcano. The ground was shaking violently and fiery lava threatened to burn her alive, yet she couldn't make herself run away. Whoever was calling her was inside the volcano and she had no choice but to go to the caller.
The flowing lava parted and made a path for her to climb the mountain. As she reached the top, the shape of a man formed amid an explosion of volcanic ash. The burning figure held out his arms to her and called for her to join him. She turned to flee back down the mountain but the lava had closed the path. She was trapped on the rim of the volcano, surrounded by fire. The only escape was to awaken from the nightmare.
As she lay there, breathing heavily and trying to sort out the dream from reality, she realized she was truly suffering from excessive heat and the ground did seem to be quaking beneath her. The next second she found the cause.
Gabriel was still turned with his back to her, but he was trembling and scratching at the skin on his arms and chest. His breathing was raspy and labored. Tentatively she touched his shoulder and was stunned by the intense heat radiating from him. "Professor?" He didn't answer. "Gabriel, are you ill?" He kept his back to her.
She raised herself up on an elbow and saw that his eyes were squinted shut in an expression of severe pain. She gently placed her hand on his cheek and his forehead. "You're burning up! You must have picked up some virus during the time-hop. Come out of here," she ordered, tugging on his arm. "We've got to cool you down."
She found it easier to get out and drag the pouch off of him than to get him to move. The first thing she noticed was that his penis was so engorged it was purplish and jerking involuntarily. Dragging her gaze upward, she saw several long, angry welts where he must have scraped himself. She knelt beside him and forced one of his eyelids open. The cornea was blood-red.
GABRIEL (The Innerworld Affairs Series, Book 4) Page 8