by Steven Brust
"Ask away," I said. "I'm feeling awfully cooperative."
He nodded. "If I told you that we'll let you live if you give us the answers, you wouldn't believe me. Besides, I don't like to lie. So instead I will tell you, quite truthfully, that if you don't give us the answers, you will very badly want to die. Do you understand this?"
I nodded because my mouth was suddenly very dry. I felt queasy. I was aware of all sorts of spells in the room; probably spells that would prevent any sorcery I might try. I still had my link to the Orb, of course (which told me I'd only been unconscious for ten minutes or so), but I doubted I could do anything with it. Still…
He said, "What is your connection to this group of Easterners?"
I blinked. He didn't know? Maybe I could use that. Perhaps if I stalled, I could try witchcraft. I'd used it before in situations where I shouldn't have been able to. I said, "Well, they're Easterners, and I'm an Easterner, so we just sort of naturally—" Then I screamed. I can't, now, recall what hurt. I think everything. I have no memory of some particular part of me hurting, but I knew that he was right; this would do it. I wanted to die. It lasted for such a brief time that it was over before I screamed, but I knew I couldn't take more of it, whatever it was. I was drenched with sweat, and my head drooped and I heard myself making small whimpering sounds like a puppy.
No one said anything. After a long time I looked up. I felt like I had aged twenty years. Bajinok had no expression on his face. He said, "What is your connection to the group of Easterners?"
I said, "My wife is one of them."
He nodded. So. He had known. He was going to play that kind of game with me—asking some questions he knew the answers to and some that he didn't. Wonderful. But that was all right, because I knew I wasn't going to lie any more.
"Why is she with them?"
"I think she believes in what they're doing."
"What about you?"
I paused, my heart pounding with fear, but I had to ask. "I… don't understand your question."
"What are you doing with those Easterners?"
A sense of relief flooded me. Yes. I could answer that. "Cawti. I don't want her killed. Like Franz was killed."
"What makes you think she will be?"
"I'm not sure. I don't yet—that is, I don't know why Franz was killed."
"Do you have any theories?"
I paused again, trying to understand the question, and I guess I waited too long because they hit me with it. Longer this time. Eternity. Maybe two seconds. Dear Verra, please let me die.
When it stopped, I couldn't speak for a moment, but I knew I had to had to had to or they'd do it again again again, so, "I'm trying. I—" I had to swallow and was afraid to, but I did, and shuddered with relief when it didn't happen. I tried to speak again. "Water," I said. A glass was tipped into my mouth. I swallowed some and spilled more down my chest. Then I spoke quickly so they wouldn't think I was trying to stall. "They were cutting into your—Herth's—business. I'm guessing it was a warning."
"Do they think so?"
"I don't know. Kelly—their leader—is smart. Also I told one of them I thought so."
"If it is a warning, will they heed it?"
"I don't think so."
"How many of them are there?"
"I've only seen about half a dozen, but I've been told that—"
I was staring right at the door when it burst open and several shiny things came flying through it past Bajinok and past my head. Their were grunts from behind me. Someone had probed the room and found the position of everyone in it. Good work. Probably Kragar.
Bajinok was fast. He didn't waste any time with me, or with the intruders, he just stepped over to one of the sorcerers and they began a teleport. Sticks, who was standing in the doorway, didn't spare more than a glance at him, before moving into the room. Something else shiny flashed by me and I heard another grunt behind my right shoulder, then noticed that Kragar was also in the doorway, throwing knives. Loiosh flew into the room then, and Glowbug was right behind him.
Glowbug's eyes were shining like the lamps at the Dragon Gate of the ImperialPalace. The thought, "You're being rescued," flashed into my head, but I couldn't drum up more than a passing interest in whether the attempt would be successful.
Watching Sticks was interesting, though. He was dealing with four of them at once. He had a club in each hand and a look of concentration on his face. The clubs became a blur, but never invisible. He was very graceful. He would bounce a club off a head, then hit a side while the other club crossed over to the top of the first head, and like that. When they tried to hit him he would work the attack into his actions as if he'd planned it all along. He started moving faster, and soon their weapons flew from their hands and they started to stumble. Then Sticks, as if culminating a dance, finished them. One at a time, both clubs to the top of the head, not quite at the same time. Ker-thump. Ker-thump. Ker-thump. Ker-thump. The first hit the ground as he nailed the third. The second hit the ground as he got the fourth. As the third fell, Sticks stepped back and looked around, and as the last one fell he put his clubs away.
Glowbug's voice came from over my shoulder. "Got 'email, Kragar."
"Good." His voice came from right next to me, and I saw that he was working on the chains.
"You all right, boss?"
The chains fell off my arms, and I felt the ones around my legs being worked on. A lady in gray and black came into the room. Kragar said, "We'll be ready in a moment, milady." I thought, Left Hand. Sorceress. Hired to teleport us home.
"Boss?"
The chains were gone from my legs now, "Vlad?" said Kragar. "Can you stand up?"
It would be nice to collapse into bed, I decided. I noticed Glowbug collecting my clothing.
"Boss? Say something."
Sticks looked at me, then looked away. I think I saw him mouthing an obscenity.
"Damn it, boss! What's wrong?"
"All right," said Kragar. "Glowbug, help me get him standing. Gather round." I felt Loiosh clutching my shoulder. I was dragged to my feet. "Go," said Kragar.
"Boss? Can't you—"
A twist in my gut, a massive disorientation and head-spinning, and the world went around and around inside of my skull.
"—answer?"
I threw up on the ground outside of my home. They held me, and Sticks, now holding the bundle of my belongings, stood close by. "Get him inside," said Kragar. They tried to help me walk but I collapsed and almost fell.
"Boss?"
They tried again with no better results. Kragar said, "We'll never get him up the stairs this way."
"I'll dump these things inside the house, and—no, wait." Sticks vanished from sight for a moment and I heard him speaking to someone in low tones. I heard the words, "drunk" and "brothel," and what seemed to be a child's voice answering him. Then he came back without the bundle and took my legs and they carried me into the house.
Sticks dropped my legs at the top of the stairs and clapped. I heard a child say, "I'll leave these here." There was a rustling sound, and the child said, "No, that's all right," and there were soft footsteps descending. After waiting for someone to answer the clap, Sticks opened the door and I was dragged inside.
"Now what?" said Glowbug.
I could hear barely concealed distaste in Kragar's voice as he said, "We need to get him cleaned up, I think, and—Cawti!"
"Loiosh told me to come home right away. What—Vlad?"
"He needs to be cleaned up and put to bed, I think."
"Are you all right, Vlad?"
Loiosh flew off my shoulder. Probably to Cawti, but I was staring in the other direction just then so I couldn't tell. Cawti was silent for a moment, then she said, "Put him in the bath. Through here." It sounded as if she was having trouble keeping her voice steady.
After a while there was hot water on me, and Cawti's hands were gentle. I learned that I'd soiled myself somewhere in there, as well as throwing up all over my chest and stomach. Kragar c
ame into the room and he and Cawti got me standing and dried me off, then got me into the bed and left me there. Loiosh, silent now, sat next to me, his head on my cheek. Rocza made scratching sounds on the bedpost to my left.
From the next room, I could hear Cawti saying, "Thank you, Kragar."
Kragar said, "Thank Loiosh." Then their voices dropped and I could only hear mutterings for a while.
Later, the door to the flat closed and I heard Cawti make her way into the bathroom, and the sound of the pump. After a while she came back into the bedroom and put a damp cloth over my forehead. She put Spellbreaker around my left wrist and covered me with blankets. I settled back into the bedding and waited to die.
It was funny. I'd always wondered what my last thoughts would be, if I had time to think them. It turned out that my last thoughts were of how I was thinking my last thoughts. That was funny. I chuckled somewhere, deep down inside of me where I can't be hurt. If Aliera was right about reincarnation, perhaps my next life would be better. No. I knew Aliera was right. My next life probably wouldn't be any better than this one. Well, I don't know. Maybe you learn something each life. What had I learned in this lifetime? That it's always the good guys against the bad guys, and you can never tell who the good guys are, so you settle for killing the bad guys. We're all bad guys. No. Loiosh isn't a bad guy. Cawti isn't—well—oh, what's the use? I should just—
—I realized with some surprise that I was still alive. It occurred to me then that I might not die. I felt my heart speed up. Was it possible? A certain sense of what I could only call reality began to seep in then, and I knew I was going to live. I still couldn't accept it emotionally—I didn't really believe it—but I somehow knew it. I reached for my right sleeve dagger but it was gone. Then I remembered that I was naked. I lifted my head and saw the bundle of my clothing and weapons, with the rapier jutting out, over in the corner, and I knew I couldn't reach it. I felt Spellbreaker around my left wrist. Would that do? How? I could hardly strangle myself. Maybe I could bash myself over the head.
I worked my left arm free and stared at the thin gold chain. When I first found it, Sethra Lavode had suggested I find a name for it. She was evasive when I asked why. Now I looked at it closely, wrapped tightly about my wrist, clinging, but never squeezing, I let my arm fall off the side of the bed and it uncoiled and fell into my hand. I lifted it, and it worked itself into a pose, hanging in midair like a coiled yendi. As I moved my hand, the rest of it didn't move, as if the other end was fixed in space, twelve inches above me.
What are you? I asked it. You have saved my life more than once, but I don't really know what you are. Are you a weapon? Can you kill me now?
It coiled and uncoiled then, as if it were considering the matter. I had never seen it do that before. The trick of hanging in midair it had been doing when I had first found it, but that had been under DzurMountain, where strange things are normal. Or was it in the Paths of the Dead? I couldn't remember any more. Did it mean to take me back there now? Easterners aren't allowed into the Paths of the Dead, but was I really an Easterner? What was an Easterner, really? Were they different from Dragaerans? Who cared? That was easy, Easterners cared and Dragaerans cared. Who didn't care? Kelly didn't care. Did the Lords of Judgment care?
Spellbreaker formed shapes in the air before me, twisting and coiling like a dancer. I barely noticed when Loiosh flew out of the room. It was still dancing for me a few minutes later when Cawti returned, holding a steaming cup of tea.
"Drink this, Vlad," she said, her voice trembling. Spellbreaker dipped low, then climbed high. I wondered what would happen if I let go of the end I was holding, but didn't want to take the chance that it would stop. I felt a cup pressed against my lip and hot tea dribbled into my mouth and onto my chest. I swallowed by reflex and noticed an odd taste. It occurred to me that perhaps Cawti was poisoning me. When the cup came again, I drank greedily, still watching Spellbreaker's dance.
When the cup was empty, I lay back, waiting for oblivion. There was some part of me that was mildly surprised when it came.
Chapter 7
pr black riding boots:
remove reddish stain on toe of rt boot.
I don't remember actually waking up. I stared at the ceiling for a long time without focusing on it. Awareness of sensations increased slowly—the smooth linen of finely woven sheets, the scent of Cawti's hair next to my face, her warm, dry hand in mine. With my other hand I touched myself, face and body, and I blinked. Loiosh's tail was draped across my neck—feather-light and scaly.
"Boss?" Tentative.
"Yes, Loiosh. I'm here."
He rested his head against my cheek. I smelled Adrilankha's morning in the breeze through the window. I licked my lips, squeezed my eyes tightly shut, and opened them. Memory returned, piercing as a needle. I winced, then trembled. After a moment I turned toward Cawti. She was awake and looking at me. Her eyes were red. I said, "Some of us will do anything for sympathy." My voice cracked as I said it. She squeezed my hand.
After a moment, she chuckled softly. "I'm trying to find a way to say, 'Are you all right?' that doesn't sound like you ought to be put away somewhere." I squeezed her hand. Loiosh stirred and flapped around the room once. Rocza stirred from somewhere and hissed.
"If you mean am I about to kill myself, the answer is no." Then I said, "You didn't sleep, did you?" She made a gesture that I took as, "No, I didn't." I said, "Maybe you should." She looked at me with swimming red eyes. I said, "You know, this doesn't really solve anything."
"I know," she said, and this time it was her voice that broke. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"About—what happened yesterday? No. It's too close. What did you give me? It was a poison, wasn't it?"
"In the tea? Yes. Tsiolin, but just a mild dose so you'd sleep."
I nodded. She moved over next to me and I held her. I stared at the ceiling a while longer. It was made of beaded ceiling board, and Cawti had painted it a very pale green. "Green?" I had said at the time. "It represents growth and fertility," she had explained. "Ah ha," I had said and we went on to other things. Now it just looked green. But she was holding me. Make of this what you will.
I got up and took care of morning things. When I looked back in, Cawti was sleeping. I went out with Loiosh and sat in Kigg's for a while and drank klava. I was very careful to watch all around as I left home. I've never been attacked when I was ready for it; it's always come unexpectedly. That's odd only because of the amount of time I seem to spend expecting to be attacked. I wondered what it would be like not to have to worry about that. If these Easterners had their way, and their daydreams turned out real, that might happen. But it wouldn't matter to me, anyway. I couldn't remember a time when I wasn't careful to watch around me as much as possible. Even when I was young there were too many kids who didn't like Easterners. I was stuck as I was, whatever happened. But still—
"I think you have too much on your mind, boss."
I nodded. "Alright, chum. Tell me what to ignore."
"Heh."
"Right."
"About these Easterners—Kelly's group…"
"Yeah?"
"What if you didn't have to worry about Cawti's life, or about Herth, or any of it. How would you feel about them?"
"How can I know that?"
"How would you feel about Cawti being one of them?"
Now that was a good question. I chewed it over. "I guess I just don't think much of a group that's so wrapped up in its ideals that it doesn't care about people."
"But about Cawti—"
"Yeah. I don't know, Loiosh. There was never really the chance to find out what's involved. How much time will it take? Am I going to see her at all? Is she going to want to give them money? How much? There are too many things I don't know. She ought to have told me about it."
I drank some more klava and thought about things. I was very careful walking out of the place.
When I got into the office I didn't stop long enough
to say hello to Kragar and Melestav; I went straight into the basement. Next to the lab is a large, empty room with many lanterns. I lit them. I drew my rapier, saluted my shadow, and attacked it.
Parry head. What had happened to me last night?
Step in, step out. It was worse than being told I was a reincarnated Dragaeran. Or different, at least.
Step in, cut flank, step out. Maybe I should just forget that I'd tried to kill myself. Except that I might try again, and maybe I'd succeed. But then, maybe it would have been best if I had.
Step in, cut cheek, cut neck, step out. That was nonsense. On the other hand, there was no denying that I had actually wanted to kill myself last night; had tried to do so. It was hard to believe.
Parry flank, parry head, step in, cut leg, thrust chest. The pain, though—that incredible pain. But it was over. I was going to have to get to Herth before he got to me, and it might not change how Cawti felt toward me anyway, and I wouldn't even get paid for it. But no matter; I would have to make sure he couldn't do that to me again. Ever.
Step back, parry a thrust, disengage, stop—cut, step in, cut neck. I'm not the suicidal type. There are many assassins who don't care if they live or die, but I've never been one. Or I never was one before. Forget it. I could spend the rest of my life trying to decide what it meant that I'd wanted to end it. There were things that I had to do and this was getting nowhere. I was going to have to kill Herth, and that was that.
Salute. I just wished I didn't have to.
I also wished I'd installed a bath down here.
"Kragar."
"Yeah?"
"I'm done mucking about."
"Good. It's about time."
"Shut up. I want full details on Herth. I mean, everything. I want to know his mistress's favorite color and how often she washes her hair. I want to how much pepper he puts in his soup. I want to know how often he takes a—"
"Right, boss. I'll get on it."
"Can you get him before anything happens to Cawti?"
"I don't know. I don't know for sure that anything will happen to Cawti. But we can't take chances. I'll have to—" I paused as a thought hit me. I threw it away and it came back. There was one thing I could do that might help.