“Nathan, I am sor — ”
He cut her off. “Don’t you dare apologize to me, Townshend. And take your lying private school debutante ass back to that fancy little girls’ school. Do it now. Oh, and don’t worry. I didn’t tell Harris. You’re going to live to deceive another day. Basketball season has started. You might want to check out the fraternity houses at Duke and the University of Kentucky. Those are your basketball powerhouses. Good luck.”
She could not have imagined him so bitter, so mean, even with good reason.
Just then a nurse came in. “Mr. Scott, we got a call from the information desk that this young lady is your cousin and Dr. Evans gave her permission to stay with you tonight. Is that true? We don’t have any such notation on your chart.”
“No, it’s not true. She’s just a fan. Could you please see to it that she leaves?”
“Shall I call the police?”
“No. Not this time.”
“Then I’ll have security see her to her vehicle. And the University is arranging for a guard outside your door. The press is becoming a problem.”
“Fine.” Nathan closed his eyes and turned his head away.
Tolly drove back to school that night, where thanks to her roommate’s quick thinking and willingness to cover for her, she had not been missed.
Over the next several days, she tried to call Nathan almost hourly. It always went to voice mail. She never talked to him again, though he did talk to her once. On the fourth day he picked up.
“Townshend, I am having my number changed, so do not bother trying to call it again. If you show up here or somehow get my new number and call, I will tell Harris what you did. And I won’t spare a single detail.” And he hung up.
Later that day, she heard on the news that what had been predicted was true. The Angel, Heisman hopeful Nathan Scott, had no more hope. With rehab, and more surgeries, he would walk.
There had never been any mention in the news of Nathan’s mother coming to be with him but, at the time, Tolly had just assumed she had. Now, she wondered.
She had been a fool to think they could come back from something like that.
But how could he think that she would cheat on him when she was trying so hard to make it work? And with Luke, of all people?
In an effort to understand what had just happened, she replayed it all in her head. It was only then that she realized that Nathan had not even looked surprised. Angry, irrational, and hurt, certainly, but not surprised. And he had not taken her to task at all. It was Luke he had expected better from.
He had expected the worst from her all along.
Chapter Twenty-One
As soon as Nathan’s feet hit the pavement in front of Harris and Townshend’s law office, he realized what he had done. Tolly and Luke? The thought was ridiculous, really.
Damn his soul to hell. The question was, what should he do now? Sick, he got in his truck and laid his head on the steering wheel to contemplate that very question. Should he go back in and apologize? Text her and say, “April Fool!” or maybe, “Nathan’s a fool”?
Try harder, huh? Well, that was almost funny.
Maybe he could lie and say it was a joke. Except he never lied and none of that had been funny.
He raised his head and leaned it on the headrest. Maybe he should just drive away and show up on her doorstep tonight.
He was so preoccupied that he did not realize that Luke had emerged from the building until he jerked open the truck door.
His eyes looked like the flames of hell and Nathan didn’t blame him.
He’d never heard a colder voice than the one that spoke to him now. “Nathan Scott, if you say one word about what you imagined was going on in there and cause my wife one nanosecond of embarrassment or discomfort, I swear to God, on the legal system, and on the head of the governor of this state, who is my godfather, that I will see to it that your life is not worth living. And this is not Daryl Grayson talking. This is the oh-so-ethical Judge Lucas Avery, who does not give a tinker’s damn about ethics where his family is concerned. Depend on that.”
Well, he’d been put in his place right and proper. He could take it. He’d learned early on. Yes, sir, I accept complete responsibility for the loss. I let down my teammates, my coaches, and the fans. My fault entirely.
“I know I was wrong, Luke. I knew it the second I left that office. Even if that wasn’t so, I am not a gossip. I would not cause trouble between you and Lanie.”
Luke closed his eyes and shook his head. “You are a fool, Nathan.”
“I’ve been thinking the same thing.”
“Then I’m glad you’ve had at least one lucid thought today. You see, there would be no trouble between my wife and me, even if the archangel Gabriel appeared to Lanie and told her he had seen Tolly and me copulating. You know why? Because Lanie knows that I am incapable of such a thing, not to mention Tolly.” He took a deep breath. “Those four women love their wine and their gossip. They’ve got to have a theme to walk to the mailbox. One of them is the bossiest woman alive and the other three kowtow to her. And they haven’t discussed a book at that book club of theirs in — well, probably ever. But they would fight you, me, and the devil himself for each other. And they would win. If they were capable of cheating on their men — which they are not — it wouldn’t be with one of us.”
Okay, he had it coming, but he’d had enough.
“Luke, look. I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I don’t know what else to say to you.” He hesitated. “Do you want me to get out of this truck so you can hit me? I’ll do it.”
Luke sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “No. I don’t want to hit you. I don’t even want to be mad at you, though I think I will be, at least until tomorrow. You’ve got enough problems.”
“That I do. Any advice?”
“If you were in my courtroom, I’d send you to anger management.”
• • •
Tolly had been in the shower for far too long, but Kirby was in the living room watching Monday Night Football and this was the only place in her house that she had the privacy she needed to cry. Every time she thought she had gotten hold of herself enough to leave the bathroom, she’d remember something sweet that had happened between Nathan and her and she’d have a brand new come apart. Then she’d remember the hurt of today, and the come apart would escalate to hysterics.
What she needed was a bottle of tequila.
Oh! She bent double. There was that time at the Mexican restaurant in Birmingham. They’d gone there with Missy and Harris. She’d offered Nathan a taste of her margarita, and he’d said real men didn’t drink sissy drinks. Then he had squeezed her hand under the table and given her that sweet misty look.
She soaped her hair again. She was going to have the cleanest hair in the history of heartbreak.
There was knocking at the bathroom door. Oh, what now? True, they only had one bathroom. True, she had been in here a long time. But she’d never known a man who didn’t delight in peeing in the yard and Miss Caroline had plenty of bushes. Not that she approved. But just this once, she needed Kirby to embrace nature and leave her alone.
She turned off the water. “What is it, Kirby?”
“Sorry, Miss Tolly. Coach is here. He said to tell you he’d wait.”
Crap almighty. Anything but that. But she couldn’t make Kirby her messenger boy. She could see it now.
“Tell Coach, I am not coming out.”
“Okay!” Five seconds later: “Coach says he’s not leaving ’till you do.”
“Yeah? Well, you tell Coach … ”
No, that wouldn’t do. “Tell him I’ll be out in a bit,” she said because, really, what else was there to say?
• • •
It was easy for Nathan to put the football po
rtion of his brain on automatic pilot so he could discuss the game with Kirby without thinking about it.
It might be cowardly, but he was hoping Townshend had talked to Luke so that she already knew he was aware of the error of his ways.
“Coach, do you want a Coke?” Kirby asked when a commercial came on. The boy was so pleased that he was here that it was humbling. He doubted Townshend was going to be as pleased. Or pleased at all. “And Miss Tolly bought you some Almond Joys. They’re in the fridge. I could get you one.”
“No, thanks, Seven.” Eating was not an option. “How do you know she bought them for me?” Pitiful. He was starving for some shred of evidence that she cared enough for him that he might be able to salvage this.
“She said so. Told me to stay out of them because they were for you and candy isn’t on the nutrition plan.”
It was a pretty good bet she hadn’t bought that candy on her way home from work today. What was taking her so long? He could have had three showers and ironed a suit of clothes by now.
Ah, soft little footsteps coming down the hall. Finally. He stood up. Her hair was in a ponytail and she was wearing gray sweats. He’d never seen her in sweats before, but she had done her makeup and it was apparent — at least to him — why. She’d been crying. He’d made her cry. The pain in his stomach made his knee seem like a paper cut.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hello.” Her tone was entirely neutral. There was nothing in her demeanor to alert a teenage boy that anything was amiss, but she wouldn’t look him in the eye. Okay, it could be worse. It was clear that she didn’t want to visit this on Kirby. He could at least get her out of the house for the ass chewing that he absolutely had coming. He would welcome it because it would help him atone; make him remember to think twice next time.
“Do you want to go get some coffee?” he asked.
“Yes, I would,” she said icily. “I would have had some this afternoon, but there was an accident with it.”
She’d looked in the garbage can to see what he’d brought her.
“It was an accident,” Nathan said.
“What?” Kirby had chosen this moment to key into something besides the Buffalo Bills.
“Hmm,” she said. “Nothing, Kirby.”
Nathan walked to the door. “It’s nice out. You don’t need a coat.”
She picked up her purse from the little table by the door and fished her keys out. “Kirby, I won’t be gone long. Homework?”
“Done.”
“Physics test tomorrow?”
“I got it. I promise.”
“I hope so. You know I can’t help with that.”
“Mr. Webb gave us a practice test and I got all but one. And I know where I went wrong.”
“Okay. Call me if you need me.” She took her cell phone off the charger and put it in her purse.
“Yes, ma’am.” And he was gone — back to the game.
As soon as they got out the door, he said. “Townshend, I am sorry. I know — ”
She cut him off with a wave of her hand. “Don’t start out here. Go get in my car.” He had expected a hard angry voice, not a shaky soft one.
“Your car?” They never went in her car. He liked to drive. And since Kirby’s accident, she was pretty anal about leaving her car for him so he wouldn’t ride with other kids.
“My car.” She stalked off toward the garage.
So she had no intention of being in his power. She wanted to be able to put him out on the side of the road, if she wanted to. The question was, what road? Where did a woman take you for you to kiss her ass and sell your soul until she would kiss and make up?
He tried to get in but the passenger seat was too far forward for him to fit. He felt around on the sides of the seat, looking for the adjustment knob until she sighed and pressed a button on the dash. It slid all the way back.
“Pretty fancy,” he said.
“Hmm.” She started the car and backed out.
“Where are we going?” he asked because he was pretty sure they weren’t getting coffee.
“Somewhere we don’t matter,” she said.
Might as well get a head start on the groveling. “Townshend, I can’t tell you — ”
“Don’t,” she said. “Don’t talk until I get where I’m going.”
Oh, Christ. She was crying. She drove to the edge of town and got on the interstate, headed north.
“Are we going to Nashville?” he asked.
“Yes. I have decided to pursue a career in the country music industry.”
That was a good sign. A joke, even if she didn’t sound very jokey. She didn’t drive far. She took the exit for a rest stop. It was one of those nice, well lit ones with vending machines and picnic tables. There were a few cars parked, a couple walking a dog — people on the way to somewhere, who wouldn’t notice them or care if they were having a throw down. Even in the face of this, he was proud of her for picking an appropriate place for a fight. Only, there wasn’t going to be fight if he could help it. There was only going to be groveling — by him — and forgiving — by her. Then some makeup necking — by both of them.
“Are we where we don’t matter?” he asked. Couldn’t be too careful. “Can I speak?”
“So long as you understand that the only reason I am talking to you at all is because Kirby was there. Though, I do think it might be best to just tie up unfinished business in one fell swoop. So it’s probably good that Kirby was home.”
He turned to her. “It kills me that I have made you cry. I want nothing more than to hold you right now, but I am guessing that would not be welcome.”
She wiped her eyes with a little white lacy handkerchief. “You are an excellent guesser.”
He sighed. “I’m not. I’m an idiot. I cannot explain what happened today. I don’t understand it myself. When I walked in there and saw you touching Luke, I lost all reason. But I don’t want to lose you, Townshend.” He took a chance and put his hand on her shoulder. She didn’t shake it off, but she bowed her head and cried harder.
“Aw, Townshend. Sweetheart … ” He tried to pull her against him but she would have no part of it.
“Don’t, Nathan. Please.” She straightened up and seemed to will herself to gain control.
“I get that you are mad, and you should be. But tell me this. You do believe me when I say I know I was wrong, don’t you? And that I’m sorry?”
“I do believe you.” At least they were on the right track.
“I promise you I will never behave that way again. Please, can we just pretend it didn’t happen?”
“No.” Okay, he hadn’t expected this to be easy.
“You cannot mean that we’re going to throw away what we have because I behaved irrationally for five minutes of our lives.”
“Tell me something, Nathan.”
“Anything.”
“Why did you come to the realization that you were wrong?”
What? That didn’t make sense, but he knew better than to say that. The only thing worse would be to ask her if she had PMS.
“I don’t know what you mean, exactly,” he said slowly, searching for some clue in her face that would let him know if he was saying what she wanted to hear. “I realized I was wrong, because I was wrong. I was stupid. And I knew it as soon as I left your office. I just wasn’t sure if I should come apologize right then or wait a bit.”
“But did you realize that I would never do what you accused me of? Or was it that you knew Luke wouldn’t do it?”
He tried to puzzle through that without much luck. “I don’t get it. What difference does it make? This is just about me having an irrational reaction. You notice I haven’t even asked you why you and Luke were hugging. Or who started it. I don’t care. I know it was just a friendly sort
of hug.”
“The difference is that you don’t trust me. You don’t trust me to tell you the truth. You don’t trust me not to cheat on you. You don’t trust that I have any kind of judgment. You probably don’t trust me to brush my teeth after breakfast. I don’t blame you so much for not trusting me. I have sins to pay for. The bigger problem is you won’t give me a chance earn your trust.”
He started to deny it, but he let it all filter through his brain. She might have a point, a small one.
But he had an ace.
He took a deep breath. “I love you, Townshend.” He spread his hands and stretched them out like he was giving her everything he had to give. Let her argue with that. He might be a little unclear on some of this other stuff, but he loved her. He could defend that like a ball on the one yard line that was going to decide the championship. She wouldn’t believe him, but it was true, and he could defend it until she did.
“I know you do,” she said softly. “And I love you with every cell in my being. But love doesn’t solve everything.”
What? He’d just played the card that every woman wanted to see — the one that righted all wrongs. And he hadn’t lied about it either. This should be a joyful moment but she was still telling him no.
“Townshend.” He gripped her shoulders and turned her toward him. “I know I have put you through a lot lately, and I think it’s because I have been coming to realize that I do love you. You are all I want. I’ll do anything to make this right.”
“No. That’s not true. You’d do anything not to love me.”
Was that true? Of course it wasn’t. “No. You are wrong about that. Wrong.” It might be easier not to love her, but he had never aspired to easy. Besides, he couldn’t not love her; he’d tried.
“So you’ll do anything?” Her tone had an edge of challenge to it. Well, he knew about challenge. Bring it on!
“Anything. Name it.”
She looked a little hopeful. “I want to talk about what happened thirteen years ago. I have the need to explain; I know I cost you everything. I know much of what you said to me that day in your hospital room was true, but not all of it was. I need to be heard and I need you to believe me.”
Scrimmage Gone South (Crimson Romance) Page 19