Did she feel the same way or was she trying to think up a way to tell him to hit the road? That her invite had been a mistake?
“How many books did she make it through?” Shelby’s soft words were almost a whisper.
He looked at her now, noticing for the first time she’d changed out of her skirt and into a pair of jeans. She still wore the same T-shirt and her body’s reaction to the night air was clearly visible.
And his body reacted to hers.
“Dean?”
Oh, right. Books. Grateful he still held his hat in his hands, he laid it casually across his lap. “Four. Well, more like three and a half.”
“Oh, I thought maybe she lasted longer. It took you a while to come back out here.”
“I ran into your mom outside Caitlin’s room. We talked for a few minutes.”
Shelby groaned and rolled her eyes. “Oh, that can’t be good.”
“Actually, she spoke mostly about your father.”
“She did?”
Dean nodded. “About how much she misses him. I guess he used to read to Caitlin a lot.”
“Yeah, he did. He was always great with her.”
“And she told me how proud she is of you, considering everything you’ve been through.”
“Yeah, well...you know, what’s the saying? Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get. Funny, how I never seem to get the caramel-filled ones.”
Shelby sighed and rose from the swing. She walked to the porch railing and leaned against one of the tall columns supporting the roof, facing him. “Can I ask you something?”
Dean stretched out one arm along the back of the swing, trying to appear relaxed, even though he had no idea what she might say.
Why did he show up tonight at Cherry Hill? Why did he come back here tonight? Did he want to kiss her?
You. You. Yes, desperately.
Pretty simple answers, all things considered. He started pushing the swing again just to keep from putting that last thought into action, whether she asked it or not.
“Sure, go ahead.”
“Back in June, Sara told me about the playground equipment she and her sister wanted for the center as part of their overhaul of the backyard. When they told us they weren’t going to charge any fees for the rest of the summer, I knew that meant the remainder of the work would be on hold. How did you convince the town to pay for it?”
Dean never planned to advertise where the money came from for the play set, but he wasn’t going to lie about it either.
He didn’t have to.
Shelby’s mouth formed a silent O when she quickly figured it out for herself. “You? When Sara said they had you to thank, I thought that was because you’d built the set. You paid for it, too?”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Yes, it is. Those things run a couple of thousand dollars each.”
“The kids need some normalcy in their lives right now, something that doesn’t involve rebuilding, cleaning and all the other fun stuff that comes with a natural disaster.” Dean shrugged. “I just wanted to give them a place where they can get away from the reality of losing their school, and possibly their home. A place where a kid can be a kid again. Even if it’s just for a couple of hours.”
She blinked. “Are you for real?”
“I’m not sure what that means. I’m just a man, like any other man.”
“Not the men I’ve known.” Shelby waved off his words. “Not by a long shot.”
She wasn’t talking about her father. He thought back to the pictures in the hallway. There was none of her or Caitlin with a young man. “It must have been tough, being a teenage mother.”
“Being a teenager ended when I became pregnant.” Shelby looked him in the eye, her words strong. “A choice I made easily.”
A choice, it sounded like, she’d made alone. Besides her parents, that is. So, how did the guy who got her pregnant figure into all of this? “Is Caitlin’s father around?”
“No, he left town a few months after Caitlin was born.”
She didn’t seem too upset about his asking or the fact that the man wasn’t around, but Dean knew how tough being pregnant and alone could be.
“It’s his loss.” His sister, Holly, had had an unplanned pregnancy, although she’d been a few years older than Shelby when she’d found herself having a baby alone. “My sister went through something similar a few years back and the jerk walked away from her, too,” Dean shared. “It’s a long, crazy story, but she’s now married to a great guy who loves their little girl, Sabrina, with all his heart.”
“Oh, I doubt it was in any way similar to what I went through. At least, I hope it wasn’t.” Her words were flat and detached. “She sounds very lucky. Not everybody finds their happily-ever-after.”
“I don’t believe that.” He stopped the swing, hating the lifeless tone to her voice. He waited until she looked at him again before he went on. “It can take some searching and for some, being happy might be a long time coming, or just a leap of faith. But it’s possible. For everyone.”
* * *
Shelby stared at Dean, surprised more by the certainty in his voice and the honesty in his gaze than his words. He truly believed in the good guy saving the day, the damsel being rescued and everyone getting their heart’s desire.
She’d realized earlier tonight at Cherry Hill that for whatever reason, no one had pulled him aside yet to warn him off about her. That was a surprise, too.
Usually she spent her time clearing up people’s preconceived opinions or she just let them believe whatever they wanted.
For the first time, with someone she could really care about if she let herself, she had the chance to lay everything out there...before he up and walked away.
“Let me tell you a story, okay?”
“Sure.”
“Once upon a time there was a girl who decided that getting straight A’s in school wasn’t doing enough for her social life. She wanted to be part of the popular crowd in the worst way.” It sounded weird, talking about herself in the third person, but somehow it made it easier. She wrapped one arm around the porch column and gazed out over the yard, unable to look at Dean while she spoke. “So, she got herself on the cheerleading squad her sophomore year of high school, but she knew the true key to popularity was having the right boyfriend. It took almost the whole school year, but she finally got her Prince Charming, Zach Shute, the captain of the football team, to notice her.”
“Zach Shute. Why does that name ring a bell?”
She turned back, watching as Dean tried to place the name, not surprised that he’d heard of him. She nodded when the recognition came into his eyes. “Yes, the same Zach Shute—the darling of Rust Creek Falls—who plays football for the New York Jets.”
Dean nodded but remained silent. He was probably thinking how she must be swimming in child support.
“And just like in all those teenage romance novels, he dumped his picture-perfect girlfriend and asked out this former nerd turned cheerleader,” she continued her story, her words softer now. “She was in heaven. Zach was every girl’s dream come true. Tall, dark and handsome and already the recipient of a full athletic scholarship to play football in college. Everything was perfect...for a few months.”
Shelby looked past Dean again, lost in memories from that long-ago summer.
She’d turned sixteen that June and after a whirlwind summer filled with parties, trips to the nearby lake and many late nights of heavy making out in Zach’s car, he began pressuring her to sleep with him. She wasn’t sure, but by the end of August she finally gave in. Sex hadn’t been all she’d hoped it would be, but it seemed to make Zach happy—at least until the day the at-home test showed two lines.
“I found out I was pregnant that fall when what I thought was a stomach flu wouldn’t go away. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my entire life. Of course, the first person I ran to was Zach. His reaction was...was to get
‘rid of it,’ but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. Then I told my parents, who insisted on meeting with Zach and his folks. When we did, Zach lied and said the baby wasn’t his. He insisted I was sleeping around with other guys on the team and the baby could be anyone’s. Of course, his minions actually had the nerve to back him up.”
Dean’s swift intake of breath pulled her back to the present. She realized then she’d been speaking aloud and in the first person. Not that Dean hadn’t already figured out she’d been talking about herself.
Forcing her gaze to his, she saw his relaxed stance was gone and his green eyes had turned narrow and hard. “That bastard. How could he do that to you?”
“Oh, it gets better.” Shelby tried to laugh, but it came out gruff and humorless. “Or worse, depending on your point of view. School was a nightmare, but I refused to let him or his lies keep me away. Of course, my friends were Zach’s friends and they sided with him once the news came out. Especially when they were egging our home or flattening the tires on my car.”
She wrapped her arms around her middle, suddenly very cold. “I finally accepted that I was on my own with the baby, but by midwinter my father was enraged that Zach still refused to come clean about what happened. He’d talked to the sheriff, wanting him arrested for statutory rape, but the law was in Zach’s favor. Despite that, my dad had a temporary order of protection issued to keep him away. An order he violated, but that was my fault as much as Zach’s. I was set up to believe he wanted to talk to me by someone I thought was a friend. When we were found together, Zach was arrested. His father’s lawyer fought the charges and won, but he lost his scholarship.”
“Good. He deserved at least that much.”
“Yes, I thought that, too, at first, but then everyone in town started blaming me for ruining the future of their star quarterback. After Caitlin was born that spring, a DNA test proved Zach was her father, not that the results mattered to him or his folks. He signed away his parental rights in exchange for not having to pay child support and was done with me and the baby. By fall he’d been accepted at another college, out of state, and his family left town. But the bitterness and the lies stuck around. Even now. I think those jerks from high school have been telling their stories for so long now that they actually believe them.
“Of course, a couple of mistakes with a couple of cowboys in town on temp jobs hasn’t helped my reputation either.” Shelby pulled in a deep breath and released it in a rush as she ran her hands through her hair. Tucking the strands behind one ear, she then dropped her hands to her sides. “I’m really surprised no one told you all of this already. Too many in this town believe I should have a scarlet letter permanently tattooed on my forehead.”
Dean stood, his hat in his hands.
Her heart sank. He was leaving. Of course he was leaving.
She braced herself, refusing to lean against the porch column again despite the exhaustion that now flowed through her limbs. “I understand. Getting involved with a single mother who is also the town harlot—even for someone only in town temporarily— Anyway, I’m sure you want to head out now—”
“Is that what you want? For me to leave?” He cut her off. “Because I’m telling you right now, nothing you just said makes me think you are anything other than an amazing woman who faced incredible odds and came out stronger because of it.”
She should tell him to go.
Before she said something even more stupid than suggesting they were involved. Maybe they could be friends. Sure, they could do that, which was probably for the best anyway.
Her plan was still to leave town, to start a new life for herself and Caitlin, the sooner the better. Anything more than friendship would only be asking for trouble....
“Shelby?”
“Ah, I think you should do what you want—”
Dean tossed his hat to the floor, his long strides easily eating up the distance between them. His hands closed gently over her upper arms as he pulled her close to him. Stunned, she didn’t fight him, but placed her hands against his chest, the pounding of his heart created a tight ball of awareness deep inside her. She closed her eyes when his lips moved against her hairline.
“What I want more than anything right now is to hold you in my arms. No, that’s a lie.” His words were ragged and rushed. “What I want more than anything is to kiss you. It’s what I’ve wanted since we first met.”
His declaration took the remaining strength from her, causing her fingers to curl into the soft material of his shirt. A gentle shift and his hands moved, one warm and strong skimming down her spine to her hip while the other cupped the back of her head.
Featherlight kisses brushed her forehead, past her temple and along her jaw. His fingers tightened on her hip for a moment before he released her and lightly caressed his fingertips along her cheek.
His gentleness should have been sweet and innocent, but instead it caused that awareness to morph into a desire that unfurled and spread to every inch of her body.
She’d never experienced a man’s touch like this before. The tenderness in his hold that she could easily break free from if she wanted contradicted the restrained passion that emanated from his long and muscular body.
“Can I, Shelby?” he spoke in a low murmur. “Can I kiss you?”
Chapter Nine
She felt more than heard his request as the pounding of her heart echoed in her ears. Her head fell back, cradled in his palm, her lips opening in an unspoken invitation.
Dean looked at her from beneath hooded eyes, lowering his head until his mouth was inches from hers. Still, he waited, until she breathlessly gave him the permission he sought.
“Please...”
He kissed her, soft and unhurried, his lips brushing against hers. The pleasure brought forth a moan she didn’t recognize as her own until Dean repeated the sound.
She returned his kiss then, wanting, needing more as she rose on her toes, stretching upward to press her body more fully against his.
As if her actions convinced him more than her words, he deepened the kiss when his tongue slid past her lips, seeking hers.
Oh, this is what she wanted, what she allowed herself to dream of late at night as she lay alone in her bed. Instead of a fantasy, though, she was in the arms of a real man. A good man.
A man who’d didn’t judge her by her past.
Right now she wasn’t someone’s daughter, someone’s mother, best friend or employee. She was simply a woman, wanted by this man.
She never wanted this moment to end.
Their kisses became wild and rushed, the coarseness of his beard stubble chafing her skin in the most delicious way. She slid her hands upward until her arms encircled his neck, molding their bodies even closer together.
He dropped his hands to her waist, his fingers burning her skin as they burrowed beneath the edge of her shirt. Holding her tight against him, he lifted her until their bodies were perfectly aligned and he was right where she wanted him to be and she felt as if she were burning from the inside out.
The need for her next breath had her breaking free. He let her mouth go, but then she directed him back, wanting the heat of his lips on hers again.
With a low groan, Dean eased back and lifted his head, breaking their connection at the same time as he set her feet back on the porch.
Her arms eased from his neck until she clutched at his biceps. Cool air rushed between them and she ached from the loss of his warmth.
He pressed his forehead to hers, his breathing coming in fast, uneven gusts that swept against her cheeks. “Shelby...we can’t... We have to...”
His words chilled the air between them even more. She tried to back away, but her backside pressed against the porch column. “Isn’t this...isn’t this what you wanted?”
Dean groaned and captured her hands in his when she slid them down the length of his arms to his wrists. “Let’s not start again about what each of us wants or doesn’t want, okay?”
She nodde
d, her throat suddenly tight, making it impossible to speak.
“We aren’t exactly alone here.” He lifted his head and looked down at her, his eyes bright.
Her brows furrowed.
“I know it’s dark out here, but your family is right inside,” he continued, his voice low. “Your daughter or your mom could appear in the doorway at any minute.”
Of course. How stupid of her.
She caught her bottom lip with her teeth, but that only brought another groan from Dean. “Please, don’t do that.”
Okay, she wouldn’t, but where did they go from there?
“I’m going to be smart and say I should be heading home.” Dean stepped away from her, leaned down and grabbed his hat. “It’s getting late.”
Was it? Shelby didn’t have any idea of the time. She didn’t have any idea what was going to happen after tonight. Was this a one-time thing?
Dean had said he wanted to kiss her and he had, thoroughly and perfectly. But now what? Did she dare ask him for a date? Or maybe playing it cool and casual was the way to go.
Darn, she was so inexperienced when it came to these things!
“Ah, okay. How about I walk you to your truck?”
He grinned and shook his head, stepping down off the porch. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
She followed, moving down one step until they were almost eye to eye. “Why?”
“Because it’s even darker over there, much more private and I’ve got a big bench seat inside the cab.” He jerked a thumb in the direction of the driveway. “Wouldn’t take much to bring to life the high school make-out fantasy I’ve already got going that includes you, me and the inside of my truck.”
Shelby jerked her head in a quick nod, trying not to let the sting of his rejection show on her face.
“Ah, hell, I’m sorry.” He slapped his hat against his thigh. “I didn’t mean to bring up—to remind you of anything bad—”
She stopped his apology by pressing her fingers to his mouth. “You didn’t. Don’t think that. What just happened between us now is nothing like back then, nothing like I’ve ever experienced before.”
The Maverick's Summer Love (Montana Mavericks: Rust Creek Cowboys) Page 11