Reckless Abandon

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Reckless Abandon Page 17

by J N Owens


  “No, fuck no. She isn’t staying. She is no one. I swear. It’s you, it’s always been you.” And it has, it really has. I think I just have a problem. And I don’t know how to fix it. That causes Sara to join the conversation. She starts laughing.

  “No one? Really? That’s not what you said five minutes ago when you were fucking me, or last night. Or the night before. Or have been saying for the past 2 years.” She turns to Finley. “Hi, I’m Sara, I think we spoke on the phone. Scott and I have been together for a couple years. He keeps saying we aren’t together, but he calls me almost nightly to fuck. It’s just been in the last few months that it got less frequent, but we still did it at least 2 or 3 times a week. And up until April I lived here. That must be when he met you, because he claimed he needed me to move out for some stupid insurance reason that made no earthly sense. So, you know what, good luck sister. He is all yours.” I could choke her in that moment. But she doesn’t give me the chance. Before I can even say anything, she gets in her car laughing and drives off. Finley looks at me in absolute shock.

  “Finley, don’t you dare get in that car without hearing me out. It’s not what you think.” She stops after putting her things in her trunk, turning to me.

  “No Scott. It never is, is it? This is just the icing on the cake. And now I really, really don’t want to hear from you ever again.”

  She turns to get in her car. I reach out without thinking and grab her arm. I swing her around and throw her into her car. I don’t mean for it to be rough. In my head I want it to be passionate and I want to show her how much I love her and want her. But I use too much force. I see it instantly in the fear in her eyes. I have a grip on both her arms when I get her back against her car. But that doesn’t stop me from leaning in forcing my lips to hers. She is fighting me, pushing me off her. But I just push harder. Holding her tight against me. I can feel my hard length pushing against her, so I grind it into her more and more. I hear her whimper. There is a moment, just a split second that I feel my heart crack, but the moment is fleeting. The larger part of me is telling me to keep pushing her. That I will break through her barrier. She needs to feel how much I love her and want her. I force my tongue between her lips and explore her mouth. She consistently fights against me, but it’s not until I get my tongue in her mouth that she gets any head way. I am far stronger than her. But when she bites down on my tongue and brings her knee up into my groin simultaneously that I pull back. I’m bleeding and doubled over. Fucking bitch.

  “You fucking crazy mother fucker, don’t ever come near again. If you do, be ready for a bullet in your fucking face.” She gets enough time to get into her car, she is screaming at me while she takes off.

  I’m still laid out on my back, looking up with one hand on my crotch about an hour later. I can’t bring myself to get up. I completely fucked up. How did this end so badly? How did all this get so screwed up? What the fuck am I going to do know? I have to make a get Finley back plan. I know in my heart she still loves me. If she can just see how much I really love her, she will come back. Right now, she is just doubting me. There has to be a way to show her. I have to make her see that she is it for me. I won’t let her go, she is my everything, my world. And if she can’t see that now, I’ll have to make her see it. No matter what. And that’s when I know exactly what I have to do. If she won’t take me back, I’ll take her back, by force if need be. She is mine, and nothing is going to change that.

  16

  Finley

  I leave Scott’s after the horrible confrontation and I’m an absolute mess. I’m crying and shaking. I feel completely violated now. I can’t believe all he was hiding from me, but most of all I can’t believe he would try to force himself on me. What if I couldn’t get away? What is he capable of doing? No, I can’t even entertain that thought. Then, it hits me. I brought this lunatic into my family. What if he doesn’t stop? I feel scared and alone. Instantly all I want is to talk to Noah. I pull off the side of the road and dial his number. Of course, he answers immediately.

  “Hey, I was just thinking about you, and like magic your face appeared on my phone.” I smile, but it fades.

  “That’s perfect timing. So um, something happened. I need to tell you. I needed to hear your voice. I’m really freaking out right now. But this started before I went to Miami, so I just need you to be aware.”

  “Finley, are alright? You’re scaring me.”

  “Yeah, I’m fine, no, I’m not fine, I don’t know. I guess I will be if this goes away. I’m just shaken up right now, and I guess a little nervous over how you are going to react.” I hold my breath for a second. And try to calm myself.

  “Well, let’s hear it. It can’t be too bad. As long as you’re okay, I’ll be fine.” Well, let’s hope that’s true.

  “I was in a relationship. I think I mentioned that. We broke up a while before Miami. It was bad. He is a terrible person. For the few weeks leading up to the conference he didn’t stop trying to contact me. I deleted all his messages and ignored all his calls. Well, when I got home last night, my sister was at my house. She told me she went over one day, and he was there, in my house. It freaked me out, a lot. So, I called him. Basically, cussed him out. Then I found out some other things that were insane. He called and asked me to come out so he could explain. I didn’t want to, I had no intention of going, but I did have a bag of ashes, the remains of his things that were left at my house.” I hear him laugh at that last part and I keep going. “So I decided to go out and get some of my things, I had some books that I love out there. Well, I get there, and big surprise, there is another girl. Things didn’t go great. He got a little violent, tried to force himself on me. I think he thought he could force me to see something that isn’t there. So, I bit him and kneed him in the nuts. I was able to get in my car and drive away. He didn’t text or call me the entire time I was gone. I thought he had finally decided to move on. So, then there was you and it was so easy and good and amazing. I feel something when I am with you that I didn’t even know was possible. You are everything I had ever wanted and didn’t know. You make me feel so complete and good. I am still so furious and scared. I just needed to talk to you, so I pulled over to called. I needed you right now.” I sit and wait for him to respond. It doesn’t take long.

  “First of all, are you OK? That is the main thing right now.”

  “Yes, physically, I’m fine. I’m a little shaken up, but I am fine.” And I am. I’m pissed as hell but fine.

  “Well, that is what’s most important. Secondly, if I ever see this dick, I will probably kill him. I can’t believe he put his hands on you.”

  “Noah, really I am fine. I don’t want you getting in trouble over him, he isn’t worth it. I just really needed to hear your voice.”

  “I know, but I don’t like the thought of anyone touching you, especially like that. That makes me want to get there even sooner. I don’t like the thought of you being alone.”

  “Well, I’m not alone. My dad is having one of his security guys come out to my house to set some things up.”

  “Well, that is better, I guess. But I think I will still move up my interview and get down there sooner. Is there anything else that happened? Are you sure that’s all?”

  “I love that you are concerned, but it’s not your job to deal with him. I will be okay. I just needed to hear your voice.”

  “I know it’s not my job, but if we are going to be together then we have to talk to each other, and I want to be here for you when you are upset. I don’t consider it a job, Finley. I consider being with you a privilege.”

  “Really? You really want to know?”

  “Yeah I do. I want to know everything, anything that happens to you. That’s what it means to be together.”

  Oh God, I think I just fell in love, again.

  “So, we’re together? For real?”

  “I like to think so. What do you think?”

  “If that’s what you want then I am all in. Absolutely!�
� I have goose bumps all over.

  “Ok good. Now, why don’t you tell me more about what happened?”

  “Well, I told you I was at Scott’s. Basically, I found out he had been lying to me about everything from day one. What he does. Who he is. He has been getting woman on dating sites, screwing women in parking lots, and he even had a live in at one point, that’s who was there today when I showed up. It was just a clusterfuck. Well, I was beyond pissed. Like not hurt, just pissed that someone thinks that is okay to treat anyone that way. Not just me, but all those other women too. I was leaving, and he started yelling telling me I wasn’t leaving. Blah, blah, blah. Then, that is when he grabbed me and threw me into my car and had a hold of my arms. He basically was forcing himself on me. Kissing me and rubbing himself on me. I don’t know what he was trying to accomplish but I finally bit him, kicked him in the nuts, and jumped in my car to drive off. I was just shaken up. I never imagined he was the kind of person to pull that kind of thing. Now it makes me wonder what else he is capable of, and what I need to look out for.” I can hear Noah’s breathing now. And I know he is beyond livid. Fuck, I probably shouldn’t have told him.

  “Fuck, Finley. That motherfucker. I will kill him. I will literally kill him.”

  “No Noah, he’s not worth it. Let’s just leave it. I only told you so you would know what happened. I don’t want there being any secrets between us.”

  “I know, but…”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t you ever apologize for something someone else did.”

  I hear him take a deep breath and I tell myself he is so right. I shouldn’t apologize for Scott. “Your right I know. Let’s talk about something else.”

  “Well, how about what all we are going to get into when I am there.”

  “Yes, absolutely there is so much I want to show you. The city is beautiful.” He chuckles.

  “I was talking more like, all the different ways I am going to fuck you when I am there. I didn’t get near enough of you last week. I want to taste every inch of your body. I can’t wait to have my hands running over every single inch of your delicious skin. I will start at your feet, I will run my hands up your calves, to your thighs, following closely with my tongue. I will push your legs open gently, running my hands down the insides of those beautiful thighs till I get to that gorgeous wet pussy. Then I’m going to open it by running my fingers up though the center and follow them with my tongue. I will lick you from ass to clit. I will lick around your clit, and suck it, and bite it and flick my tongue across it all while I move my fingers in and out of that tight little pussy of yours. Once I taste your come on my tongue, I will continue to explore your body, moving up across your hips, to your stomach all the way up to those magnificent breasts. I will take my time, holding and squeezing them. I will worship them, and we will see if it is truly possible to make you come just from sucking and biting on your nipples. Then I will fuck you everywhere I can. I will fuck your mouth. I will fuck your tits. I will bend you over and fuck that tight pussy and then I will fuck your ass.” I am breathing so hard. I am soaking wet and so fucking turned on. I can hardly bring myself to say a thing.

  “When are you going to be here?” I ask because it’s all I can manage to squeak out.

  “Let me get a ticket, I will be there as soon as I can. Are you ready for me?”

  “Yes, please, you need to be here now, like 5 minutes ago. Why would you do this to me? Now I have a long drive before I can get home to take care of how you have left me hot and bothered.” He lets out a loud guttural laugh.

  “Well, how about you facetime when you get home and we finish off together.”

  “Fuck me, Noah. I’m hanging up so I can get home. I’ll call you when I get there.” I hang up and start my car.

  I make it home in record time to facetime Noah the minute I walk through the door, so we can finish what he started in the car. I have never done anything like that, but, oh my, is it amazing. Hearing him talk to me like that is an incredible turn on when I touch myself. And to see him touch himself and watch how turned on he gets when I talk dirty to him was absolute bliss. Watching him come on himself pushes me over the top. I go to bed a very happy woman.

  Wednesday is here and I head back to work. As I’m getting out of my car in the parking lot, I notice a truck a few spots down that looks like Scott’s. But that’s just crazy. He wouldn’t be here. But then the door opens, and he steps out. I just look at him for a minute. He doesn’t move toward me, only stands inside his open door, staring at me. I walk very quickly into the hospital. Once inside the door, I turn and glance back. He is still standing there, watching me. I feel my heart start to race, and I can’t breathe. I am scared shitless. This can’t be happening. I send my dad a message asking him if he can find out if his security guys can hang out at the hospital, or maybe just be around me, like a private bodyguard type of thing. I thought it would feel good to be back at work, but I am just scared to be anywhere right now. Maybe work is the best place to be, its public. Even with the looming threat of Scott, it is good to see everyone. I missed them and have a lot to catch up on. My office is littered with messages, missed calls, emails, and charts to read. I should have come in yesterday to tackle this, but I needed a day to get over what happened at Scott’s. Luckily, I was keeping up with it while I was gone and any emergency was addressed when I saw it. However, I still have a ton left. I’m sitting at my desk trying to lower the pile of work and my front desk clerk, Sasha comes in.

  “Hey can I come in for a minute?”

  “Of course, come in, sit down. What’s up?” she looks really upset, or worried, I’m not sure. But it’s not like her. She is really outgoing and happy almost all the time so for her to be sitting her with worry lines and wringing her hands has me very concerned.

  “Well I don’t want to be a bother and normally I wouldn’t say anything, but I am very concerned.”

  “Sasha, please, if something is bothering you please tell me. I don’t want you to ever feel like you can’t talk to me or tell me anything that is going on.”

  “Thank you. Well, while you were gone Scott came into the office and asked if he could get into your office. We told him you weren’t here. We thought he would have known you were gone, and we kind of got a little worried telling him. He said he knew you weren’t here he just needed to get into your office for a minute. He said he had a surprise for you for when you got back and that’s why he was here when you were gone. Normally I wouldn’t even second guess these things, but you just met him. I know how you are about your personal space, especially your workspace. You don’t even want us in your office. That’s why we are perfectly fine leaving charts and messages in the box on the door. And I get it, I do, that’s why I wanted you to know he was here asking. Also, he hasn’t been around much lately so I wasn’t sure what was going on with y’all.”

  I don’t even have to think about it, I know exactly what he was doing. He was snooping or planting something. Whatever it was I don’t even care anymore.

  “Sasha, it’s fine. You don’t have to explain anything to me. He is a creep. He is crazy. And if you ever see him around here you call the police immediately. Thank you for telling me.”

  “Are you okay? Is there something going on? Do you need anything?” she has that motherly concerned look on her face.

  “No, thank you for asking. I am fine. Or I will be, anyway. I am handling it. I don’t want you to worry though. Okay? Just know that if he comes here, call the police immediately. He is not who he has told everyone.”

  “Oh God, Finley. Alright, whatever you say. But please let me know if you need me for anything.”

  “I will, thank you.” I stand up and look around my office. Nothing looks any different. I will have the security guy my dad set me up with for my house come by and check everything out here, just in case.

  When I get home around 7, I am exhausted. With all the work I had to catch up on, I didn’t need to feel on edge,
but it was like I was being watched. Maybe I’m going crazy. Now, I am immediately on guard every place I am. I am in my own home and I am looking around wondering if there are cameras around or something, he can listen to me on. It’s ridiculous, right? I’m crazy, aren’t I? I go upstairs and start taking my clothes off. As I’m pulling my shirt over my head, I feel like there are eyes on me. It’s just this weird feeling. I stop pulling my shirt off and look around my room. There is nothing out of order. Nothing has changed. My old antique bed is just the same with blue and white duvet piled high with pillows. My white nightstand with the old lamp with blue silk lampshade, to the Bombay chest across from my bed. I have an Armoire on the other wall that I use for books and other storage, and that’s when I notice it, I have a picture on my wall. It’s a black and white of me and my sisters at the beach last summer. It’s not fancy or professional, it was taken when we were just playing around in the water, but it’s my favorite because we are all so unaware of anyone else around. We were so lost in each other, just laughing and goofing off like we were kids again. But right there, in the top corner of the frame is a small red dot. It’s not supposed to be there, and it never has been before. I go over to the picture and reach around behind the frame and it’s a small round disc attached to the frame. I can’t believe it. My room is fucking bugged. What the fucking fucked fuck! I am too scared to talk or breath or move. What will happen if I move it? Why would he do this? Who is he? I can’t have this in here. I rip it off and step on it to destroy it. I go into the bathroom and turn on the water and type out a text to my sister.

  Me: hey, so I just totally found a fucking bug in my room, my fucking bedroom. What the fuck Layla? Who does that? What do I do about it?

  * * *

  Layla: R u serious? What the fuck Fin? Who is this guy? Why is he bugging ur room?

 

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