by Alison Bond
She crossed the party looking straight ahead. A few voices called out to her but she ignored them. She didn’t want to get involved in a conversation. She had a sudden craving for fresh air. Her steady gaze fastened on the doors at the opposite side of the room that led out onto a small covered terrace. She put one foot in front of the other and concentrated on getting to the other side. This was her big night but all she wanted to do was go home.
And I don’t even have one.
By the time she stepped outside she was feeling thoroughly sorry for herself and close to tears.
She took a big lungful of the damp air. The rain was making it taste more like England.
The terrace was deserted except for a solitary figure half hidden by a potted palm. Cigarette smoke drifted over and she recognized him. ‘Davey?’
He turned around and flicked his cigarette butt over the balcony. ‘Hey,’ he said. ‘Look at you. You look amazing.’
‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘Congratulations. They loved it.’
‘And you?’ he said. ‘Do you love it?’
‘Yes.’
‘I loved it too.’
She looked at him and she wondered how it would feel to just fall into his arms and never leave. To live like that, wrapped in an embrace, would surely be easier than dealing with the world. Would it be so terrible? Yes, he was married. But what kind of marriage could it be when his wife slept around and when he looked at her like that? There was chemistry. And she knew he felt it too, always.
She knew she was vulnerable. She was feeling down on herself and the temporary salve of affection wouldn’t last longer than the night. She knew it was the worst possible time to get involved. She knew that sleeping with Davey wouldn’t fix anything, it would only add to her problems. No, nothing was going to happen, she would make sure of it. She had to be strong. It was just willpower.
‘Wanna get out of here?’ asked Davey.
‘Sure.’
Serena was having a wonderful time. It showed on her face. She had found Fabien as soon as she arrived at the party, he was sat at the table with the most commanding position in the VIP room. He introduced her to some of his friends who welcomed her easily into their little gang. She sipped her soda water and enjoyed every turn of the varied conversation. The table was ideally placed for catching people passing through, allowing them to mingle without actually moving. She didn’t leave Fabien’s side. The party was thinning out but, to her delight, Fabien didn’t want their evening to end.
‘How about a drink somewhere?’
‘I don’t drink,’ she said.
‘We could do something else.’
She was ready. ‘How about your place?’
‘I dunno, Serena,’ he said. ‘We’ve both got early calls in the morning.’
‘We could stay up all night.’
He scratched his chin. His nails made a rasping sound against the day’s stubble. ‘I think you’re forgetting how old I am.’
‘I don’t care,’ she said. A shiver of excitement made the pale blonde hairs at the nape of her neck prickle. She was consumed with adrenaline and desire. This was it. Tonight Fabien could take the only precious thing she had to give. This was the final step. After tonight she would no longer be a girl.
Fabien watched the sparkle in her eyes with fond amusement. She’d been like this all night. He’d never seen anyone so excited to be at a premiere. He had forgotten how exciting these things were in the beginning. She was just a kid at the start of her adventure. What the hell. He could pull an all-nighter.
‘Okay, babe,’ he said. ‘You’re on.’
‘Let’s go,’ she said. ‘I’ll meet you outside.’ She kissed his cheek and then headed for the bathroom. She needed a moment to collect her thoughts. She didn’t want to come across like a giddy little girl. She needed to calm down. But inside she was dancing.
Fabien watched her go with a grin on his face. He should hang out with Serena more often. It would stop him getting old before his time. After the grief of the past few weeks he deserved a party. It would breathe some life into the house that felt so empty without Melanie and the baby.
‘People,’ he said, addressing the now large group gathered at the table. ‘Let’s take this party home. My place. Everyone’s welcome.’
A cluster of women on the outskirts of the group giggled and looked across hopefully.
‘Anyone who knows my address is welcome,’ he added. Then he spotted the dusky brunette with a soft, welcoming mouth. ‘And you, sweetheart. You make sure you catch a ride with this guy when you’re ready, okay?’ The brunette nodded and Fabien whispered in his friend’s ear to make sure that he gave her a ride. Serena was right; a party was a great idea.
On the way outside Serena saw Lynsey.
‘I’m leaving now,’ she said. ‘With Fabien.’ Just saying his name was enough to make her squirm with pleasure.
Lynsey smiled cautiously. ‘You call me if you need anything, okay?’
‘I’ll be fine.’
Serena was giving off infectious waves of happiness. On impulse, Lynsey gave her a hug goodbye.
The party was definitely coming to a close. The promising beginning had all but fizzled out by ten thirty. Lynsey looked around for a familiar face. She hadn’t seen Melanie for a while. The face that she spotted was Toby’s. He raised his hand and ambled over. There was no sign of the blonde in the red dress.
As she watched him walk towards her she wondered if maybe she had judged him too quickly. She wasn’t madly in love with the guy but she could see that he had a certain appeal. She was glad the blonde in the red dress had disappeared, so she must feel something for him. Maybe.
‘Having fun?’ he said.
‘Always,’ she replied. ‘What are you doing here anyway?’
‘I have my connections too, you know,’ he said.
‘Wanna dance?’ she said. The music was sure to finish soon and she still had itchy feet.
Toby looked around him. ‘I don’t think so. I’m with someone,’ he said.
‘A date?’ she said. ‘Oh right, I think I saw her.’
‘Is that cool? I mean, you made it pretty clear that you’re not looking for anything serious. And I am, so I guess I have to keep looking.’
‘No, it’s cool. Of course. I should… get back to my friends.’
‘See you around,’ he said.
Across the room she saw him reunited with his date. And didn’t like the way it bothered her.
Amanda and Douglas came flapping in on her other side, both happily drunk.
‘We’re off,’ said Douglas.
‘Have you seen Melanie?’ said Amanda.
‘Not for a while,’ said Lynsey. ‘Maybe she already left.’
‘She wouldn’t go without saying goodbye,’ said Amanda.
‘Yes, she would,’ said Douglas. ‘She’s been in a foul mood all night. Come on, wifey, let’s go back to the hotel and have a drink.’
He patted her on the bum and Amanda giggled. ‘If you do see her,’ she said to Lynsey, ‘you’ll tell her we said goodbye?’
‘No problem,’ Lynsey replied. They walked off arm in arm. ‘Goodnight.’
All around her people were leaving the party two by two. She overheard a snatch of conversation about a party up in the hills. It was still early; she could make a night of it yet. She wondered where Melanie had got to. This was her big night and she was missing it. It was unlike Melanie to miss a chance to be the centre of attention.
She yawned.
She never yawned. Maybe she was getting old.
Or maybe she was just tired.
She wasn’t sure that one was allowed to be tired in Hollywood, it was full-on nervous exhaustion or nothing. Time was money and there wasn’t money to waste on the usual vulnerabilities of the human condition. Everything was fast paced, a.s.a.p. and pronto. That was what she liked about the place, wasn’t it? Because if she didn’t, then what was she doing here?
31
&nb
sp; Davey and Melanie left the party separately. They both had a car and driver courtesy of the studio. Davey left first and had his driver take a turn around the block before collecting Melanie ten minutes later from the front entrance. Davey ducked when they pulled up just in case a photographer snapped him inside the car.
The subterfuge turned her on.
In the back of the sleek limousine they sat side by side without touching.
Davey pushed a button and the privacy screen between them and the driver glided up noiselessly.
Davey leant in close to her. So close that she could smell his skin. She held his gaze, knowing what she was about to do, knowing it was a big mistake, but doing it anyway.
He kissed her and all of her doubts ceased to matter. All of her problems floated away and there was only Davey and his hungry kisses and a feeling of utter recklessness and release.
Davey wished that he’d waited until they were alone before he started kissing her like this. He didn’t know if he could wait long enough to get to the nearest hotel but knew that Melanie Chaplin wasn’t the kind of woman you fucked in the back of a limo.
Meanwhile Melanie was half hoping he would take her right here on the back seat. She could feel the cold leather against the back of her thighs when Davey roughly pushed up her skirt. His hands roamed luxuriously over her body and he was breathing hard and fast.
Melanie had forgotten how good it felt to kiss someone. It was as if her mind had ceased to exist and she was only her body; a billion nerve endings all standing to attention at once.
Soon the car came to a halt. She dragged herself away from him long enough to see that they were outside a hotel.
‘I’ll go first,’ he said. ‘The car will bring you round in a minute. I’ll use the name Davis to get a room. Okay?’
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. The taste of his lips was on hers.
Alone in the back of the car she had just enough time to come to her senses and change her mind. But she didn’t.
When she knocked on the door of the hotel room Davey was waiting.
He grabbed her and locked the door behind them and then he pushed her against the wall, restraining her with one hand as he undid the buttons on his shirt with the other. His breath was hot on her face between his brutal kisses. He pulled at her clothes, finally tugging her eight-hundred-dollar outfit up over her head and throwing it into a dusty corner.
Melanie struggled against him. They could slow it down a little. She was worth more than a frantic fuck in a hotel room.
‘Wait,’ she said. But he didn’t stop.
There was no going back.
*
Afterwards, Davey took a shower. Melanie lay on the bed feeling stupid. Was that it? Was Davey showering so that he wouldn’t have the smell of her on him when he returned home to Mary Ann? What had she done?
When he came back he was fully dressed. ‘I have to go,’ he said.
‘What?’
‘I’m sorry, but I can’t stay here tonight.’
‘You’re going home?’
‘I have to.’
Anger surged up inside her. ‘Wait a minute, what just happened here?’
‘Something I’ve wanted for a long time.’
‘So stay.’
‘I really can’t,’ he said. ‘It’s complicated.’
‘It doesn’t have to be.’
Davey sat down on the edge of the bed.
Melanie pulled the sheets up close around her. This couldn’t be happening. He was just walking out? Weren’t they supposed to cuddle a while and then make love again, this time for her? A very bad feeling was pushing to get into her head. She fought it.
‘I’m married, Melanie,’ he said.
‘I know!’
‘I told you before that my marriage is important to me. Mary Ann and me, there’s history there and she’s going through a really bad time right now. We always said that if either of us broke a single wedding vow then it was over. I’m trying to deal with the fact that I’ve just intentionally hurt my wife. I need to see her.’
Melanie had never been hurt like this before; she felt a sense of betrayal so sure and sharp that it injured her inside. Was he being deliberately cruel? She was certain that if he wanted to protect her he would choose his words more carefully. She tried to be strong.
He looked away from her and continued. ‘Maybe you can’t understand because you’ve never been married, but it’s hard to fail someone like that and still feel good about yourself. I’ll call you, I promise.’
This was such bullshit. If he knew the truth about Mary Ann’s extra-curricular activities then he wouldn’t feel so bad. ‘Davey,’ she said, ‘are you sure she is faithful to you?’
‘Positive,’ said Davey. ‘She would kill me if I even looked at another woman when we were out together. You should have heard what she thought of you.’
‘I can imagine.’ She could destroy him right now with the truth. But she was stronger than that, wasn’t she? She didn’t have to fight back with cruel words of her own. But she wanted to see the look on his face, she wanted to cause him pain. If he could make love to her and then coolly explain that his wife was the most important thing to him, then he deserved it. Didn’t he? She recognized the chance to be the bigger person but let it drift by. Melanie decided just to say it. ‘The thing is, she isn’t.’
‘Isn’t what?’
‘Faithful.’
‘What are you talking about?’ said Davey.
‘You can’t think of yourself as the bad guy here. Mary Ann sleeps around. I went to a party, Amy and Milton something, a big house down at the beach. Mary Ann was there.’
‘She was there with another man?’
‘It wasn’t a usual kind of party. It was a sex party,’ said Melanie.
‘You saw my wife at a sex party? Jesus, Melanie, are you shitting me?’
Davey’s eyes had turned to steel and his grip on Melanie’s hand was so hard it crushed her fingers. The diamond ring on her right hand jabbed into her flesh.
‘She was wearing a red wig. I recognized her tattoo. She was… very popular.’
‘What the hell does that mean?’
‘Do you want me to spell it out for you?’ said Melanie. She shook her hand free. ‘Fine. Your wife was hanging, leather-clad, from the ceiling of an orgy room, taking it anywhere from anyone who wanted it.’
‘She wouldn’t do that,’ said Davey.
‘Wouldn’t she? Ask Fabien, he was there, he was with her,’ said Melanie. ‘I wanted to tell you before, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to get involved. But I suppose now I already am.’
‘How long ago was this?’ asked Davey.
‘Right before I went back to England. I called you that night; remember? It was a couples party, I thought you might be there.’
Davey stood up and stared down at her. For a moment she thought he might hit her and then he turned away. His face had drained of colour and he picked up his jacket, avoiding her anxious eyes.
‘Where are you going?’ said Melanie.
‘I have to talk to her. You know I have to talk to her.’
‘Now? Do you have to go right now?’ Melanie pulled the white sheets over her naked body. Davey had a look in his eye that Melanie had only seen once before, out in the jungle when his film was falling apart.
She reached out for his arm, trying to get back the intimacy that they’d had only moments before. ‘Davey,’ she said. ‘Please.’
Davey looked at her and saw that she was afraid. He softened. ‘Stay here,’ he said. ‘Can you do that? I have to talk to her, Melanie, I can’t stay here and do nothing. An hour, two at the most.’
Melanie hesitated and Davey noticed.
‘For me?’ he said.
It was three hours before Davey returned. Melanie spent that time flicking through the channels of the television without watching anything and worrying that he would never come back. Doubts and fears were given free rein to screw with her
head as much as they pleased in those lonely hours.
Finally the door opened and Davey fell into the room as if he had gone ten rounds with a prizefighter. He looked exhausted. His eyes were raw from recent tears and when he kissed Melanie he pulled away quickly. He moved across the bed until they were lying some three feet apart. Davey stared at the ceiling and Melanie stared at him.
Davey was obviously not going to offer any information so she asked him. ‘How was it?’
‘She denied it at first, and then she guessed that you might have told me and gave herself away. Mary Ann knows about us, she knows about tonight. I told her everything.’
‘But you still won’t hold me?’ said Melanie.
‘She said that my betrayal was so much worse than anything she had done to me. She just gave her body, she said. Her heart was all mine. She was crying. She said her heart was broken. I’d broken it. I walked out on her while she was in tears and she knew that I would be coming to you.’
Melanie couldn’t believe it. Mary Ann had somehow managed to make Davey feel like the villain. He was weak, or Mary Ann was exceptionally manipulative. Either way this was not the happy ending that Melanie had envisaged.
‘I just feel like I’ve destroyed her,’ said Davey. ‘Do you understand?’
‘No,’ said Melanie. ‘I don’t understand at all. Mary Ann has been lying to you for months.’
‘And I haven’t been lying to her? Just by wanting you I was being disloyal.’
‘But you didn’t do anything,’ said Melanie in exasperation. ‘All this time we’ve been tiptoeing around, denying how we really feel, in case we upset your stupid wife. Don’t look at me like that! She is stupid, unbelievably so if she thinks that what she has done doesn’t mean anything.’
‘She just has issues,’ said Davey.
‘With what? Monogamy? Honestly, Davey – issues? Isn’t that just a little bit too Californian for you? I thought you weren’t into all that shit.’
‘If you live with Mary Ann you have to be.’
Melanie shook her head in disbelief. Mary Ann had the upper hand right until the end and Davey was lying here shell-shocked and broken, in need of some sort of comfort that Melanie didn’t know how to give. Tentatively she reached out for him and he folded into a curve, his back against her. For a frightening moment Melanie thought he was about to start crying in her arms.