“How do we know it’s stable?” Now that they were here, Eve wasn’t so sure she wanted to go digging around in anything, and especially after she’d just learned firsthand the difference between ice and solid ground. Her hand was also persistently throbbing now.
“That’s a lot of ice to move. We should have brought a backhoe.” Lisa also looked daunted. “Hard to get one in a backpack, huh?”
Ani was nodding as she removed her pack. “Well, I’m willing to dig. If it’s here, Monica’s kit will be trapped before we get to the big wall, but probably under all of that ice.”
Tan had already slipped out of her pack and removed her axe. She swung experimentally at the ice surface. “Three seasons of thaw and freeze—this is pretty hard.”
“I really don’t care if we find the notebook.” Eve couldn’t help herself. “It doesn’t matter to me. Ani, I forgive you. It’s not even my place to think I can be your judge. But I don’t need proof that she did a bad thing, and you meant to do the best thing you could.”
“So this was just a pretty walk? With interesting toilet facilities?” Lisa shrugged out of her pack with a relieved sigh. “Then I’m really glad I brought the wine.”
Eve summoned up the nerve to meet Ani’s gaze. She loved those black eyes—they rarely hid their feelings. That was how she’d known Ani hadn’t been telling her the whole truth, but also how she’d known and trusted that Ani loved her. How could she have doubted that, for even a moment? Those eyes had said it with every glance, and they were saying it now. But we’ve got no future, Eve tried to say back, though she wasn’t convinced of that any longer. A near-death experience had altered her perceptions—funny about that.
Ani abruptly turned away. “Can we at least see how far we get?” She likewise tested the hardness of the ice and frowned.
With a flashing smile, Tan cleared her throat. “I brought something that might help.” She rummaged in the depths of her pack and came up with a small box, which she handed to Ani.
Ani’s tone was reverent as she said, “Tovex? How did you get Tovex?”
Tan’s nonchalance wasn’t entirely successful. “Never underestimate the power of a clerical error.”
“What’s Tovex?” Lisa moved forward to examine the box while Eve stepped back.
She knew what Tovex was, and it scared her, even though she knew that Ani had been taught by an expert how to handle it.
“Explosives! Holy crap!” Lisa backed up several steps.
“You could get fired for this.” Ani looked genuinely puzzled. “Why—I don’t understand. Why are you doing this for me?”
Tan gave Ani a long, steady look, and Eve could see the rings of orange-gold in her shining brown eyes. “Because I didn’t do enough for you three years ago. Plus, about ten years back, a man proudly told me that his little girl would someday be the star of my university, and I believed him. It was after he helped dig my car out of a snowbank. I kept tabs on her and while it broke my heart to think she’d stolen research, I still should have done more.”
Ani’s eyes were bright. “Tan, it’s okay. I didn’t expect you to bail me out.”
“I know. But it was my job, and it would have been the right thing to do, to see that you at least got a fair hearing. Besides,” she said with a sidelong glance at Lisa. “Like everyone else I had a longstanding crush on Monica. When I realized she’d used ignorance of the facts to fool all of us into jumping to the wrong conclusions, I decided I probably wasn’t just imagining her games in other ways.”
Ani shook her head. “I don’t get what you mean.”
“Think about it, Ani. Weren’t there times when you thought her interest was maybe more than professional? A little touch to the arm, a sudden notice of what you’re wearing? A compliment about your hair? A wink? Introducing you to people with flattering remarks? Then, just as you think maybe you’re not imagining it, and you wink back, she’s cold again. It was all in your head.”
“I didn’t think she did that on purpose.” Ani gave a helpless shrug. “It’s just who she is. But I guess, yes, there were times she confused me.”
“Who cares if it’s on purpose,” Lisa said. “It works for her. It gets her what she wants. I don’t believe it’s all innocent, though. And you’ve both gotten her out of your system, right?” She looked directly at Tan.
“Yes, ma’am. I met someone much, much smarter and way sexier.”
Lisa, instead of looking gratified, put her hands on her hips. “Who I hope to goodness has been quite clear about her interest.”
“Indeed.”
“Good.”
“Very.”
Eve interrupted with, “Excuse me, but Ani’s still holding explosives in her hand.”
“Oh, yeah.” Lisa resumed backing away, but it was definitely in Tan’s direction.
Ani had a how-did-we-ever-get-this-far look on her face as she said, “These are microcharges. Not boom so much as pop. They’re ideal for the job.”
“Just tell us what to do.”
“First off, all nonessential personnel get back out of the canyon.”
Lisa gave Eve a wounded look. “Did she just call us nonessential? And she’s expecting some of my wine later?”
“She’s going to blow something up,” Eve observed. “I’d prefer to be some distance away.”
“You realize,” Lisa said as they left the other two behind, “she’s going to go all macho on you. Big studly thing to do, blowing stuff up.”
“She’s not like that. Well, maybe a little.” She whistled to Tonk, certain that he was also nonessential personnel.
They both sat down on their packs, with Tonk panting between them. Eve was glad to immobilize her hand for a little while. It probably wasn’t that bad, but she was still afraid to look at it.
Lisa studied her boots for a moment. “Far as I know, she hasn’t looked at another woman since she left here.”
Eve wasn’t really sure what the best response was to that. “I’ve never seen Tan flirt with anyone but you.”
“There must have been someone.”
“I think you’re going to have to ask her. Something to talk about in the long, cold night ahead.”
“I wasn’t thinking about talking.” Lisa laughed. “Okay, on the other hand, I haven’t a clue just how cold it’s going to be tonight.”
“You’ll be lucky you don’t get iced together if you kiss.”
Lisa gave her a sidelong look. “How would you know?”
“Okay, you got me. I usually do my smooching in above freezing temperatures.”
“Well, that’s my preference.”
Laughter wafted out of the canyon.
“They’re having fun without us. It would serve them right if we went back to camp and started the wine without them.”
“I think we should have a snack,” Eve said.
“Fine by me.”
They each had a handful of Eve’s homemade trail mix. Tonk snapped up some nuts and cereal and happily slurped water from the bottle Eve squeezed for him. By the time Ani and Tan emerged they were also ready for snacks.
Ani munched as contentedly on her trail mix as Tonk had. “You all are going to stay right here while I get closer. The detonators have a short-range radio frequency trigger, but like I said, they’re microcharges. We may not even hear them go off.”
“How will you know they did? You don’t want to do some Wile E. Coyote or Homer Simpson thing, and blow yourself up when you go to check.” Eve offered another handful of the mix.
“They have small dye packets. I should see three color pulses.” She tossed back the rest of the snack, dusted her hands on her suit, then casually strolled back to the canyon entrance. Once there she turned to wave, and her call carried over the ice. “Clear!”
A few seconds later, she walked into the canyon. Eve hadn’t heard a thing, but she scrambled after her.
Ani looked very pleased, and had already dug out a chunk of ice. “That worked great. Microcharges are sm
all, and directionally focused. I set them to blow sideways and it works like a jeweler hitting a diamond. Only the goal is to make it all fracture to pieces.”
At first Eve couldn’t see what had happened, then she realized that the massive pile of ice was now riddled with cracks, all emanating from cherry pink blotches. Where Ani was digging the ice came away easily.
She grabbed a shovel, heedless of the pain in her hand, and joined in.
They dug in the ice until they were too hungry, too tired and the light too dim to continue. Eve couldn’t imagine finishing the job without the help of the explosives. Ani thought—but wasn’t certain in the light—she saw a mass in the ice that could be the missing kit.
“Morning,” Eve said firmly. Ani had worked harder than any of them, and she looked just about all in. “Right now you need more of that freeze-dried stuff and a good sleep.”
“Good isn’t exactly the word for it, when you’re sleeping on ice.” Ani let Eve unsnap the shovel and pick handles and stow them in her pack.
The walk back to their tents was thankfully as short as Eve remembered. Ani had been totally right—it was a blessing to have the camp completely set up, and only boiling water to see to. Tan once again carved up some ice to melt in the cook pot. Eve suggested they first make bouillon for all of them to drink, and to moisten Tonk’s food again. She felt much better after a hot cup of chicken-flavored salt brew, but she really longed for hot, stick-to-your-ribs food. When they got back, that was what she was making—a big crusty casserole of macaroni and cheese. Or shepherd’s pie, because that really stuck to the ribs.
“I want a burger, okay, two burgers,” Lisa said. “I’m sorry, I seem to be whining.”
“I think you’re doing great,” Ani volunteered. “You’ve never been north of Florida and here you are, about to sleep on a glacier.”
“I didn’t know that—good for you.” Eve hadn’t realized just how much of a stretch this adventure was for the surfer girl. “I guess that means we should all get out of our element from time to time.”
“I’ve always wanted to see palm trees,” Tan said. She examined the packets that she pulled out of her pack. “Do we want to have oatmeal and fricassee separately, or just mix them up together.”
“Separately,” Eve and Lisa said in unison.
Ani eagerly said, “Mixed together.”
“That is so gross.” Eve was truly shocked.
“As my father would have said, it’s all going to the same place. There’s different rules out here.”
Eve decided it was best not to watch Ani eat. She’d enjoyed it at home, because Ani’s lusty approach to food was the same as her approach to sex. Oh great, Eve scolded herself. You’re going to crawl into that itty-bitty tent and you’re already thinking about sex.
They huddled close while they ate, soaking up the warmth from the burner and their traveling natural heat source, Tonk. Ensconced on his own sheet of Thermarest, he didn’t seem at all bothered by the falling temperatures and was more than happy to slurp up any food they might miss in their ration packets. He also liked Eve’s Chex mix, marshmallow treats that Tan produced—her favorite snack for the weight when hiking—and had an endless desire for water.
“What does he care?” Lisa watched Tonk scamper out into the growing dark. “I drink water and I know I’m eventually going to have to pee. He’s a boy—he doesn’t need some special magic cup.”
Ani laughed. “He’s a dog. Even the girl dogs don’t have to worry about it. If we weren’t so modest and desirous on leaving as little footprint as possible, we wouldn’t either. If we were a full team, with sleds, we’d have a lightweight unit for the waste, panels that snap together big enough for some privacy and once a day you bury the result with the bacterial compound.” Eve loved the way Ani’s voice warmed to the passion of her subject. She talked about the kinds of luxuries they would bring on sleds, like fire pit ring burners and multiple pots so there was always warm water for a quick wipe of hands, face and certain body parts.
Another reason nothing was going to happen in that tent, Eve told herself. She stank. She was afraid to take the snowsuit off, frankly.
She realized that Ani had suddenly focused on her.
“I never looked at your hand,” she said.
“It’s nothing.”
“You’re favoring it. Let me see.”
Eve had been afraid to pull off her glove, but she did so now, wincing as it stuck to what she was sure was dried blood. “I think all I did was bark it on the ice. It looks way worse than it is. Some bruises.”
Ani, having stripped off her own gloves, held Eve’s hand toward the firelight. Her touch was warm, so warm, that Eve shivered. She knew Ani felt it. There was no mercy in the gods tonight, because she felt Ani shiver too.
“You’re right, it’s not too bad. But let’s clean it and put some antibiotic gel on it. I bet it’s super sore. Ibuprofen for you, too.”
The warm water felt heavenly, as did the soothing gel. Bathroom breaks were followed by washing their faces and hands. One thing about being on a glacier—there was no shortage of water if there was heat, and wash water didn’t need filtering or iodine. The wine was opened, judged too cold, and the bottle set to warm a little in a water bath. When Lisa finally filled everyone’s mugs, Eve thanked her profusely for bringing it. A lot of aches and pains were easing.
It was definitely time to hit the sack, Eve had concluded, when Lisa sighed and pointed into the sky. “I saw a falling star. And I think those are the lights coming up.”
They all followed Lisa’s gesture and Ani confirmed it. “Yep, that’s the lights. I wish I weren’t so tired—they’re going to be very pretty tonight.”
“I’m whacked,” Eve admitted. “I have got to get warm and asleep, and soon.”
“Why don’t you get settled, then I’ll come in. There’s not enough room for two people to be shifting around at the same time.”
Lisa pointed at a constellation. “I’ve never seen stars like a white blanket—it’s beautiful.”
“That thick atmosphere that keeps you warm is hiding heaven from you.” Tan sounded very indulgent and Eve was comforted by it, somehow. Maybe it was that someone else’s course of true love might be easier than hers had proven to be.
Eve stowed her cup and the remnants of the second packet of brownies and crawled into the low tent. Sitting up was out of the question. It was just high enough that she could rest on one elbow and maybe not brush the roof. She knew the physics of tents—by morning there would be condensate from their breath frozen to the inside of the polymer fabric. When the sun hit it, the condensate would melt and anyone foolish enough to still be sleeping got a drip-drip wake-up call.
She unzipped her sleeping bag and slithered in after removing only her boots. It took several minutes, but in time she had wiggled out of her snowsuit and ejected it from the bag, which allowed her to zip it to her stomach. A little more wiggling and she had the snowpants and jacket in position to act as a pillow. She zipped the bag the rest of the way, rolled awkwardly onto her side and thought, My, my, isn’t this comfy.
Ani heard the rustlings and soft-voiced mutterings inside the tent cease, followed by the sound of a long zipper pull. She said quietly, “Knock, knock?”
“Come on in.”
She was used to the tent crawl, and had done it many times. Shoes off, bag open, outer snowpants off, get in bag as fast as her butt would allow, zip up and off with the jacket. Jacket turned inside out for pillow, zip the rest of the way up, done in about forty-five seconds. The bag immediately warmed and her body began to relax. “Are you warm enough?”
“Yes. Thanks. You?”
“Yes. Remember, I’ve got that long, lost Russian blood.”
“How could I forget?”
There wasn’t anything to say, really, and the silence was awkward. Ani thought through the events of the day, and woke herself up by remembering the heart-stopping moment when she’d realized Eve was falling. She tr
ied to think of sweeter things, like dancing on a glacier with Eve, which eased her pulse. Thinking about making love to Eve was also sweet, but it sent her heart rate right back up.
She didn’t know how long it had been, but it was long enough that she thought Eve was asleep. It was easier, thinking Eve wasn’t listening to her ragged breathing. She didn’t need Eve to know what she was thinking. That, given the temperature, they would have about fifteen minutes with their bags unzipped before the cold overcame the heat she thought they were both feeling. There was a lot of ache that could be eased in just fifteen minutes, even if it didn’t even begin to ease their need for each other. There had been plenty of times they had taken less than that to leave each other with satisfied smiles.
“Are you awake?” It was only a whisper.
Ani answered in kind. “Yes.”
“Cold?”
“No. I’m just having trouble shutting off my brain.” There, that was better than saying she was fantasizing about how quickly she could wring that little half-cry out of Eve, the one she had always loved to hear.
“I wish that were my problem.”
The silence had changed, and the voices inside Ani were calling her names. She’d been gutless before, run away instead of talking, retreated instead of acting. She’d behaved as if Eve wasn’t half of shaping how their relationship went. If she kissed Eve now, Eve could say stop, like she had last night. Making that decision for Eve wasn’t fair.
At least, that’s what her libido was telling her. Her common sense said they both needed sleep. Her heart said it would burst if she didn’t at least kiss Eve goodnight.
“Ani?” Eve’s voice was so soft in the low dark, in response to the sound of Ani’s sleeping bag zipper.
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