Deep
A Novel
By
Angela Annette
Copyright 2011 Angela Annette
© Angela Annette Rhodes
Chapter 1
Ben stared at me, saying his last good bye, his last farewell. His eyes were no longer bright blue—only void and dead. I would always remember, I thought, pressing my trembling fingertips against my lips. My tears fell faster.
His warm olive skin, his face…smeared with blood. Ben’s godly features, disfigured. He was helpless against the king and his brother. Against the cold, heartless creatures that held live power.
He glanced slightly my way, clumsily rising to his feet. Reassuring me with a quick nod of his head and then he punched the smaller god and spat in the other’s face. While he fought, keeping them distracted, I was to run…I couldn’t. I just watched in terror, in the thick of fear as he fought to spare me…my life, because it was him or me. He chose him. Ben chose to die. He nodded his head again, egging me on to run. I couldn’t move. I was immobile, how could I be so selfish, how could I let him sacrifice his life for mine? But what could I do? We were two humans we were weak…
Sprinkles of pebbles pelted the cave floor as the sea gods trembled in anger. Ben would die soon.
Hanan and Aella would come for us, but not soon enough. I had to do something, anything that would spare Ben’s life, anything that would save us both. God, I thought, God please…anything, I begged. And then the thought hit me, I knew instantly what I could do. They wanted to know why Hanan kept us, and I knew. Ben didn’t. I knew the secret; this information would save us both, or buy us time.
As Minkah struck Ben, his neck twisted and my heart sank as his dead eyes fell on me. Blood sprayed like paint into the air and fell, sprinkling around Ben’s crumbled body. Aarif bent and grabbed a handful of his hair lifting him level to his face. That was my cue. I couldn’t watch anymore. So I gripped the dagger and hid it behind my back and stepped from around the stone, from darkness into the light. And in that moment they all froze…
Lazily, Ben shook his head, choking on blood and words, disagreeing with my actions. Aside from Ben, it was a guard who spoke, his eyes fumed with excitement—holding his spear up, ready to fire. Was it blood that excited him; the possible kill?
“Stop!” My voice cracked, bouncing off the jagged walls of rock. “Let him live and I will tell you why Hanan saved us.” I tried for a tempered tone, but failed. The two gods stared at me, I couldn’t read their expressions, I could only tell who was the eviler of the two. Aarif.
He dropped Ben and stared at me silently.
“I knew it. Please enlighten us.” Minkah said grinning with a sense of satisfaction. I took a deep breath and wondered how I got here?
Chapter 2
6 Months ago...
I hadn’t realized just how afraid I was till I walked into the narrow hallway. Maybe it was the shift of the ship that triggered my attack—kind of jostling my balance. Breathe, I told myself, closing my eyes to settle my mind, my breathing. Most people worried about getting sea sick, I wasn’t most people. I was worried about dying on this ship—the ship being a metaphor of foreboding.
My phobia of water was deep-rooted, something I feared since I was six years old. The anxiety of it all touched every bit of my mind, my body. I leaned into my dad for support, my head laden with fear.
Sweat pricked at my forehead, and slowly rolled down my face. I squeezed Daddy’s hand and stopped moving altogether. I didn’t think I could take another step. Eyes still closed, I listened to the indistinct voices of other passengers. The sluggish sound of laughter and chatter filled my head, though they only played background, it was my phobia that held front stage.
As my heart rate accelerated, I swiped my tongue around in my dry mouth. I knew what was coming next. Daddy rubbed his hand up and down my back waiting patiently, whispering encouraging words into my ear. ‘Everything is gonna be fine Eva, take your time, you can do this. Just hitting a rough patch of water, should be smooth sailing after this.’ It wasn’t going to be fine, I couldn’t do this. Why had I agreed to come on this trip?
I took a small step, and the ship shifted again, my heart punched at my ribs. I gasped and quickly my lungs were inflamed. Then my legs gave way and I crumbled to the floor. Asthma.
My eyes popped open. “Eva.” Dad called. But my mind was in panic and I couldn’t focus on the present, only the past. The taste of salt water in my mouth, the sway of the waves, pushing and pulling me in every direction, my eyes were closed. I was too afraid to open them. I could hear the shift of the ocean as more waves repetitiously followed one after another, crashing. The ambient sound of water filled my ears… the warped bubbling gurgling sounds.
My chest heaved, and the strength in my body faltered as I struggled to breathe. I clawed at the floor, my mind a fog of memory.
“Eva,” Dad knelt in front of me gripping my face, “calm down. Where is your inhaler? It’s not in your purse.” I gasped slowly coming to. “Eva.” his voice, soothing and urgent. He was always able to keep calm in the state of emergency. “Where is your inhaler?” Moving my hand I patted the front pocket of my jean shorts.
Once he found my inhaler, he shook it and pumped two puffs into my mouth. Vapors filled my throat, immediately diffusing the inflammation. I coughed as the foreign air filled my lungs—patting my chest as if that would help me breathe.
When I realized my surroundings, a small crowd of people had formed around us in the narrow path. My cheeks went hot, and timidly I stared down at the tacky red carpet.
Here I was, a nineteen year old woman, on the floor of a cruise ship, having an asthma attack over a childhood fear. Abashed enough over my whole theatrics, a medic emerged from the crowd.
Before the frail looking man could come any closer, Dad was up already reassuring him that I was well. Seeing Robert’s brawny frame next to the fragile medic, it was like the Jolly Green Giant standing next to an Umpaloompa. For my dad’s line of work his physical health was important, Chief Firefighter. While he spoke to the medic I gathered everything into my purse.
“It’s okay.” Dad knelt beside me, “I figured you would have at least one attack on the ship.” In a hushed tone, “let’s get you to your room.” He helped me up and the crowd disbursed, going on about their business.
“Thanks Robert.” I steadied myself against his arm and peered up at him. Tall, 6’1 his dark brown eyes were a perfect almond shape, with barely visible lines at the corners. His skin had the appearance of smooth dark chocolate. He stared down at me with that relieved look I’ve seen a few times. Smiling he closed his eyes for a moment and chuckled, sighing deeply.
“You scare me sometimes Eva. Reasons like this I wish you would consider staying with your mother and I—would ease my old heart.” Scrubbing over his low cut hair with the tips of his fingers. “You make my nerves bad.”
“Dad, it’s not everyday I’m on a ship or near the ocean or on the ocean…” I stopped to breathe. “My attacks don’t ever get that bad. Besides this was your idea remember?” It was his choice to take a family cruise this year. Normally we went to places you had to fly to get to (even flying was pushing it), Europe, South America, Jamaica etc…he didn’t think me being on a ship would be a problem.
Finally, we made it to my room. Actually all of our rooms were adjoining. Two full beds seemed almost stuffed in the narrow room, leaving little space to walk between the vanity and the bed. The room glowed warmly with a mellow yellow painted on the walls. Crème bed spreads were neatly folded down, at the end of the mattresses. The gold Victorian curtains were a heavy material, probably nylon and my dad pulled them over the square window that over looked the water. I glanced at myself in the vanity, frowned and then threw myself onto the
bed furthest from the window.
“Get some rest Eva.” With his heavy hand on my head, he pressed his lips onto my right temple and he walked through the adjoining door.
I was definitely out of my element, my comfort zone. I couldn’t understand why anyone would trade safe sturdy land for a dangerous piece of material that floated on water? Guess I traded land for sea. If danger came about we had no where to go except for down. I stopped my apprehensive thoughts before it got out of control and managed to relax.
I kicked off my flip flops and curled myself under the crème cover and slept.
Chapter 3
For a long time I just laid there in bed, listening to GG and Warren as they talked and laughed. I knew they were sneaking around behind my back even though I warned them—their hearts were untamed. And I knew the day they discovered their feelings, I had lost my best friend.
When she came over to visit me, it was really to see him. When he wanted to tag-a-long to the store it was to be with her. It was really hard for me, because I didn’t have a lot of friends. So seeing the one I did have leave me for my brother, was like squeezing lemon juice over a fresh wound.
The two of them together, only intensified the loneliness that lived in me—would be the reason I did so well in school. I immersed myself into my studies, which I guess was a positive thing. But nobody wants to be alone.
I sat dwelling in my loneliness for a little longer before clearing my throat. The loathing was great, when I stared at them. Somewhere deep I hated her and my brother for their relationship. I struggled to accept it.
I sat up and cut my eyes at GG and then Warren. Why did I invite her? I would have rather dealt with my loneliness. To be physically alone, was easier than to have a fresh relationship sitting in front of you. The presence of love made the agony that much greater.
Sometimes, out of my envious hate, I picked fights with her and today I felt that envy, festering in my mind.
“Why don’t you guys just have sex in front of me? Damn.” I kicked my legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m not an idiot. I know you two are together. Not that you act like it’s a secret.”
“Eva…”
“Warren, go to your room.” I said.
“You don’t have to be a bitch.” Genevieve was never afraid to tell me what I was or when I was wrong. It was one of the things that made us best friends.
“You should have told me about you and Warren. Because then I wouldn’t have invited you.” I kept my voice low. I didn’t want my parents to hear us. “It was selfish of you to come on this trip if you only planned on playing ‘honeymoon,’ with my brother. I invited you.” However envious I was, I was right. I would never do that to her. Anyway, if I had to be miserable on this trip, then so would they.
GG shot up from the second bed, where she was seated. Scowl on her delicate face. She had small features, small nose and lips, with wide brown eyes and long black, wildly curly hair.
She flexed her jaw—curls clumsily fell over her left eye—she was pretty pissed, and then placed her hands on her curved hips.
With little control she said: “I…” drawing a deep breath, “would have told you, but I knew you would have been mad. But you’re right and I’m sorry.” She crossed her arms and just stared at me, eye brow cocked, waiting for me to speak.
“Well, now you know, can we go eat please?” Warren stood up a towering 6’2 over our 5’4 inches. He was the younger version of my dad, minus the muscle—Warren was tall dark and lanky, the perfect physic for basketball, which he played, well. He didn’t care about my feelings, not that I expected him to. Warren would do what Warren wanted and nothing else mattered. “I’m still gonna be around so…get over it sis. GG is my woman, now let’s go eat.”
Grimace on my face, “do they offer room service?”
“Do you plan on staying in this room the whole trip?” His right cheek pinched up, with a quizzical look on his face. “You know Dad isn’t gonna let you just sit in the room for seven days.” I rolled my eyes, because he was right. And I was damned either way!
“Dang, shut-up!” I shook my head. I could’ve screamed and jumped up and down like I wanted, but didn’t. That wouldn’t get me off this ship. I would only look like an idiot. So I walked toward the bathroom. “Give me a minute.”
Closing the door behind me, I bent over the sink and splashed cold water over my face—prepping myself for what waited for me on deck. Water. My stomach churned, my mouth watered…I splashed my face again—telling myself over and over that I could walk on deck and that I was brave. Relax.
Getting over my fear of water was one of my goals. I fantasized about being able to swim freely, being able to walk the shore of the beach with out having an asthma attack. I just didn’t know where to begin or how I would succeed. This phobia had been with me my whole life. It was like second nature, practically embedded in my heart, an emotional scar.
I splashed my face one last time, and allowed the water to run over my hands. I closed my eyes and for a moment, I was that six year old girl again, attached to my mother’s hip my pig tails moved up and down as I bounced around excitedly. It was calm, the water, except for the recurring waves that lapped against my mother and my body, nothing big. I wanted to go deeper, I thought that maybe I would see a dolphin—they were so pretty and friendly looking—at least they appeared that way at Sea World. Mommy walked further into the water, it rose slightly above her hip. My dad shouted from the shore that we were far enough. ‘Viv, not too far,’ that’s what he said. But I giggled thinking it would be fun to go just a little deeper so I egged Mommy on, tightening my arms around her neck.
She only took a few steps deeper into the water and then we turned to face Daddy and Warren who watched from the shore. Warren was five years old at the time and, too afraid to go even ankle deep. We waved. And then my mom and I began splashing each other with water.
After that became boring my mom removed me from her hip and said, ‘let’s go under water.’ She encouraged me, telling me I could do it, that she wouldn’t let me go. Of course I was excited, I was six and fearless. She wrapped her hands firmly around my wrist and I kicked my feet treading water. We went under, once, twice and then stayed up a little longer so that I could catch my breath. Then she said, “Look at Daddy, he is so mad. Let’s not kill him Baby, let’s go play with your brother.”
That’s when it happened. Daddy began shouting—I noticed the water began to pull back, because I saw my mother’s hips briefly. I didn’t get it, I didn’t know what that meant so I stared up at my mom who quickly glanced behind her and then, smash! The wave came crashing down and…
“Eva, you alright?” Warren pounded on the door.
“Huh?” I stared at my wide eyed self in the mirror. The same shock on my face—as if I were six years old again. The memory was alive, a memory that haunted me like a ghost with a vengeance. “I’m fine,” I muttered, reaching for the wash cloth sitting on the counter. I wiped my face and then with GG’s hair brush I brushed through my hair a few times. It was black as ink and shiny, I had long bangs, that touched my eye lashes and the rest hung straight at the sides of my face. I stepped out of the bathroom, GG and Warren both standing outside the door, staring at me. “What time is it?” I smiled weakly.
“2:15.” Warren wrapped my right arm around his left. “You okay?”
“Do you care?”
“I do.” He smiled the same dazzling smile my father had. “And you don’t have to worry I’ll be by your side this whole trip.”
“Wonderful.” I rolled my eyes and stared up at him.
“Did you notice that?” GG interrupted, pointing at my waist. I followed her finger and saw the atrocity clipped around my waist.
“A fanny pack? Whose idea was this?”
“Your dad. He asked me to get it for you. A Coach waist purse was the cutest one I could find. Anything else…you would’ve looked like a 68 year old woman who spends
too much time in front of a slot machine. Sorry.” She shrugged and smiled. “It has your inhaler, money and ID. Mr. Washington made me wear one too, with an extra inhaler. He said I owed him that much since he paid for my ticket.” She smiled an unsure smile. “Sorry.”
A deep sigh followed after her second apology. Figured my dad would do something like this. He was overbearingly protective of me. I growled, “It’s okay, it’s actually not that bad…It’s just the whole fanny pack. Who wears a fanny pack?”
The ship was like an amusement park on water. With a miniature golf course, ice skating rink, basketball court, video arcade, night club, teen disco—whatever that was—there were all kinds of things to do. I could have almost been excited, except for the fact that we were in the middle of the ocean, and if an issue arose the only way out was down…closer to the water. And that didn’t make me feel safe at all.
We took an elevator up to the Promenade Deck, which was a long wide hallway with a café, jewelry, tourist and other little shops that lined down the way. Above the shops, bay and bow windows protruded out into the Promenade, along with balconies. The ceiling was clouded glass, where the sun barely gazed through, giving the stretch of the hall a soft light. The deck was decorated with bronze statues sporadically placed in corners. White flowers mixed with dangling ivy were also hammered against the crème walls.
After we ate, we explored other decks. Well I was mostly being dragged against my will. I preferred walking near the wall, allowing my hand to run across the smooth surface, which gave me a sense of security. I was fine as long as I didn’t stare out over the water or pay attention to the smooth movement over the fathomless ocean, filled with dangerous creatures…creatures that were bigger than me, and as big as this ship.
We came to the bow of the ship and I hung back, while GG and Warren peered through the big silver telescope and took pictures, re-enacting the scene in Titanic when Rose and Jack stood out, arms spread like eagles. Romantic…
Deep Page 1