by Marie Harte
Somehow, he’d gone from wanting a date and sex to wanting much more.
Had to be her lists getting to him.
Landon dragged a finger down her nose, amused when she whipped her head back and glared. “See? That’s mean Ava coming out. I don’t know. It’s just so perfectly you.”
“That is really insulting.”
“No, it’s honest. I don’t like ’em nice. I like ’em mean. Strong. Intelligent.” He told her the unvarnished truth.
She blinked. “I guess that is nice.”
They watched each other, saying nothing, only the sizzling of the food to be heard.
Then Elliot sighed. “Oh man. I think she found a keeper. You’d better rock the hammock, man.”
“Big banana all the way,” Landon agreed, just so he could see Ava turn bright red and bury her head in her hands on the counter.
Elliot and Sadie laughed and laughed. And Landon realized he’d crossed a hurdle without realizing how much it would mean that her family approve of him. He could check one more mark off Ava’s stupid list. Now how to get her to see that a PhD meant nothing in the face of smokin’ hot sex…?
Chapter 13
Tuesday night, Ava waited in her kitchen for the water to boil, needing a hot cocoa and marshmallow fix until she could take out all her frustrations on Landon “I’m Impossible” Donnigan.
She still couldn’t understand it. She loved her cousins dearly. But they usually made her life miserable when dating someone new. In the brief time she’d dated while in Seattle, they’d run off one man before her sexual dud of a date ran himself off. Of her recent dip into the online dating pool, the few men she’d actually brought to coffee with her cousins had been scared off without much effort. Matt and Charles didn’t count, because she’d dealt with them herself.
But Landon didn’t seem to care about Sadie’s mauling, her gorgeous body, or her dry sense of humor. He liked her sarcasm and Elliot’s snark. Even more baffling, he’d turned aside all of Elliot’s flirting and designs to make him uncomfortable. Not a homophobe in any sense of the word, and this from a military guy. Though she hated to generalize, the military-minded tended to be rather conservative. But not Landon.
They’d argued city politics and religion at dinner. She’d been beyond thrilled to see him open up. Then she’d played devil’s advocate, just because. Landon, like her and her cousins, seemed to thrive on conflict. Talk about a loud, rousing, angry yet fun-as-heck dinner.
The kettle whistled, and she prepared her hot chocolate with six tiny, perfect marshmallows, all bobbing in steaming cocoa. Chocolate—a remedy to heal all ills.
After another night of pats on the shoulder and a platonic kiss to the forehead, she’d had enough. Though she’d never been an overly sexual person with any of her previous boyfriends, she’d become a sexually crazed idiot when it came to Landon.
Just being around him made her want to kiss the man, to touch him, stroke him. She loved feeling the hard muscle, loved feeling him cage her in those arms. He could pick her up without breaking a sweat. The last time she’d been held by a man, it had been her father fifteen years ago, saving her from falling into a creek. Men didn’t lift her in their arms. They didn’t swoop in to save her from anything, because Ava had never been that damsel in distress. Had never once felt that way.
But with Landon, she wanted to feel protected, cared for. She could more than take care of herself, but on some level, she wanted to submit to a stronger male.
So weird. She’d read up on the submissive tendencies in people. But she knew herself, or thought she did. She would never be a slave to someone, couldn’t accept a lifestyle of domination or submission for herself. But in no way did she discount the appeal to many.
She liked the play in bed, though. Not with whips or chains, though restraints might be fun. But letting Landon go all caveman on her and tell her what to do? Sign me up.
That’s if the blasted man would stop playing hard to get.
Oh please. He’s not the one playing hard to get. It’s you, you needy therapist.
Ava groaned and sucked down a marshmallow, needing the comfort of something sweet. She both hated and loved the fact that she couldn’t lie to herself.
No, none of her frustration was due to Landon, but to herself for questioning what she felt. If any of her patients had asked her what to do in this situation, she would have told them to follow their instincts, lead with the heart.
Ava’s instincts told her to experiment with a man who treated her with respect and turned her on. No one would be hurt, they genuinely liked each other, and she’d started to seriously care for him on an intimate level.
But Ava felt like she had to wait. Why? She didn’t know why.
Yes, you do.
She frowned and sucked down another marshmallow.
Because he means something to you, and that means he has the capacity to hurt you. For all that he says he can handle you, you’re afraid he can’t. Physical strength and mental strength are two different things.
She drank her cocoa, wondering at her truth. The few times in her life she’d been serious about a man, it turned out that man wanted a different woman. Once they realized she would only settle for a true version of themselves, and that she didn’t need saving or protecting, just loving, they bolted or she’d cut them loose.
Landon still wanted to protect her, but he seemed to view her as a woman who could also protect herself. A contradiction, except defending others seemed a part of his makeup, what made him Landon. So he’d always want to protect her, no matter what. She thought she could live with that, so long as he didn’t get too clingy. And he didn’t seem the type.
But they hadn’t gotten close enough to that sharing part, where they told each other secrets and cuddled in the night. She didn’t know if she could see herself doing that with him, because it would be all her secrets and none of his.
Yet that didn’t stop her from wanting to have sex with the man and call him her boyfriend. Getting serious with someone who really didn’t meet the list?
What the heck, Ava? You’re not acting rational. No, I’m following my heart.
And wasn’t that a kick? The distant, cool professional feeling giddy in the presence of a big strong man. Just the thought of him sent a shiver down her spine, caused those butterflies in her belly to flutter and desire to flare inside her.
A loud knock shattered her already shaky nerves.
She glanced down at herself. She’d worn her hair in a ponytail tonight. A pair of gray lounge pants and a sweatshirt capped off with red fuzzy socks. But no underwear or bra. Her concession to seduction.
Did Landon suspect what tonight would be about? Sex on their seventh date? Didn’t good girls wait for their tenth date? Or was it a length of time? A month before proper women had sex? Three months? Six?
She sighed, because she didn’t really care. Just more fodder to keep her from her true emotions about Landon. Fear, excitement, affection bordering on something deeper…
She took a deep breath then let it out. He rapped on the door again. Impatient man.
“Yo, Ava,” he barked.
She forgot to be nervous as she stalked to the door and yanked it open. “What?”
He grinned down at her. “Aw, you dressed up for me.” He pushed her inside and slammed the door behind him.
“What—”
Then he kissed her. He tasted minty fresh, so he’d either been chewing gum or just brushed his teeth. As usual, his large hands pinned her down while he ravaged her mouth. She lost track of thought seconds after the mint hit her.
His tongue and lips took and gave, leaving her panting, wet between her legs, and on fire to have him inside her.
So of course, the contrary man pulled back, breathing hard, and smiled down at her, his joy easy to see.
“Miss me, Doc?”
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She blew out the breath balled inside her and tried to calm down her raging desire.
“You mean, since last night?”
“Yeah. I missed you.” He handed her…flowers? She hadn’t even seen them in his hand, so done in by one freaking kiss.
“Oh, how nice.” She loved flowers. Cliché, and she knew it, but Ava thought flowers to be terribly romantic. And he’d brought them. For her.
“You can put them in that vase under the sink.” He grinned. “I looked around last time I was here.”
“I’m adding nosy to your list.”
He blinked. “I have a list?” His smile took up half his fat head. “Am I on your perfect man list?”
“Yes,” she drawled, unable to stay annoyed with him right now, and put her flowers in a vase, then added water. “Right up there next to ‘Must Live with His Mother’ and ‘Needs Someone to Drive Him Around.’”
“Whatever floats your boat, sweetheart.” He rubbed his hands together and looked around. “So what’s on for tonight? Board games? TV? Another movie…though I’m thinking we’re staying in since you’re wearing…” He leaned closer, seeming to stare through the chest of her sweatshirt. “Oh.” He’d noticed the no bra. He swallowed audibly. “Right.”
“Sit down, Landon. We need to talk.”
His gaze narrowed. “So talk.”
“In the living room please. This is serious.”
He didn’t argue. He sat on her couch as directed, but stiff and slow moving, like a rabid wolf debating when to tear out the throat of his handler.
She needed to think, so she paced in front of him, aware he watched her every move.
“Yeah?” He sounded a little snippy, she was surprised to notice.
“I’ve done a lot of thinking.”
“You do like to think.” He snorted. “Must be all those fancy degrees.”
She frowned. “I’ve come to some conclusions.”
He sighed. “Go ahead.” He kicked back, took off his shoes, and put his feet up on her coffee table. Then he spread his arms out on either side of the cushions. Wearing jeans and a flannel shirt unbuttoned at the top, he looked like an advertisement for a romantic getaway. Especially because she had the gas fireplace going in front of him.
Just need to get a fake bearskin rug and lay him naked on top of it…
He sighed again. “Still waiting.”
“You really are aggravating.”
He didn’t grin with her, the way he normally did when she criticized him. “Yeah, and I’m too big and dumb apparently.”
“What?”
He leaned his head back, not looking at her. “Is this the part where you break up with me? Because I don’t have all night.”
Interesting. In an effort to save himself from hurt, he was pretending this didn’t matter. She didn’t even try to peg his uncaring attitude as sincere. She’d seen the flash of panic, then dismay in his eyes before he’d averted them.
Odd, but in all her musings about where her relationship with Landon might be going, she’d never considered he might be the vulnerable one. And wasn’t that…fascinating.
She felt worlds better about life. She had the power. The control. Though tonight she’d be giving that—physically—over to him, right now, emotionally, she held the reins. Over a big, strong, could-break-her-in-half Marine.
Ava needed to be gentle and planned to ease into her seduction slowly.
She kept her grin to herself, her heart racing so fast she swore he’d be able to see her breasts bouncing all over the place if he’d just look at her. That he didn’t made it easier to proceed.
“We’ve talked many times about us—you and me—and our status.”
“Yep.” Still not looking at her.
“And you kindly stipulated that I be in charge of when we had sex. If we had sex.”
“Yep again.”
She fought a grin. He started tapping the cushions, impatient to get dumped, apparently. “But you never did get yourself tested.”
He stopped tapping and lifted his head. “Excuse me?”
“I’m taking birth control pills, and I had a physical last month, before I even met you, declaring me safe and sound. I still have the paperwork, as a matter of fact. I haven’t had sex in a year and a half, so I know I’m not carrying any diseases.” Enthralled with his intent expression, she continued, intentionally trying to rile him, “But you and Claudia, and who knows how many other women, have been having a lot of sex.”
That number of women no longer bothered her, because as she’d come to know Landon, she realized faithfulness was an integral part of who he was. And right now, he was hers.
“That’s not something you should worry about,” he growled. “I always used protection with them. I told you that.” He stood, no longer content to sit and watch. As usual, he had to command with his presence. And presence he had. Wow. “For your information, Dr. Rosenthal, I got my test results back yesterday. I’m clean as a whistle, and I brought the damn paper to prove it.”
“Oh?”
He grabbed a folded piece out of his back pocket and shoved it at her. “Here.”
She made a big production out of looking it over, glancing at him, frowning, glancing back at the paper…
“What now?” he snapped.
“I was considering having sex with you, but your attitude is a little disconcerting.”
He froze, must have sensed himself looming over her, and sat so fast he rocked the couch.
She bit her lip to keep from laughing and held her hands behind her back. “I know I mentioned babies before, in an effort to scare you away, but you have to understand I’m not ready for children yet. I’m not ready to be married either. Like you, I prefer to marry then have children.”
“Right.” He had such a deep voice.
“This exercise in dating is to find a compatible mate. A boyfriend, and hopefully at some point after we’ve known each other, a fiancé.”
A subtle glance showed he had a prominent erection. He widened his legs, making no effort to hide it.
“But I refuse to be rushed. On this, our seventh date, I—”
“Eighth.”
She’d known he wouldn’t be able to let that go. The fact that she knew that made her decision impossibly easy. “Again, your numbers are wrong.”
Now he was smiling, and her heart did a funny dip seeing it. His hair continued to get longer, and he hadn’t cut it yet. He was so sexy, so manly. And that body of his didn’t quit.
“My point. If we’re going to have sex, I need to lay some ground rules.”
“Please do.” He shifted his hips, as if to seek release from the pressure no doubt growing.
“I am on birth control. The pill, to be precise.”
“Precise. Right.” He chuckled.
“No interruptions.”
He nodded. “That’s why you say, ‘Hold all questions to the end,’ before you begin. But continue. I’ll shut up.” He unbuttoned his shirt, the bastard, showing off all that muscle.
She had to swallow around a dry throat. “You probably didn’t bring condoms. But your note states you’re safe, so I’m willing to forego them.”
He groaned.
She frowned. The groaning stopped, but the flush on his cheeks was real. This man wanted her. And that heady knowledge hurried her words. “We have to be safe though. You told me you would dictate what we did together. And I trust you. But I also have to trust that you’ll stop at any time I tell you to. No matter what.”
He nodded. “I swear. I’d never hurt you.”
“But you might think you’re not hurting me, and you might be.”
“My cock is big, but I’m pretty sure you’ll fit me.”
She licked her lips, nervous all of a sudden. “Right. But, well, you’re not plan
ning anything too weird, are you? Just normal sex?”
His eyes softened. “Ava, I want inside you. But nothing too kinky. I’m a pretty vanilla guy, to be honest. I just like to be in charge. Nothing too weird. But I can’t promise you won’t get spanked at some point.” He winked. “You have been pretty naughty.”
She exhaled the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Okay.”
“Is that it?” He didn’t leave the couch.
“Almost. I just wanted you to know that I’m looking forward to it.” She nodded. “Yes. That’s it.”
“Okay.” He closed his eyes, breathed evenly, then opened them. “I’m going to fuck you until you beg me to stop. Because once ain’t gonna cut it with you, sweetheart. And we both know it.”
She nodded.
“No, tell me you know it.”
“This is where you get bossy, is that it?”
His panty-melting grin answered for him.
“Fine. I know it.”
“Good.” He stood and stared at her. “Lift your shirt.”
She did, no question, liking him taking charge.
“No fucking bra. I knew it.” He cupped a breast in his large hand, and the moment he grazed her nipple, heat shot straight to her core. “Pull down your pants.”
She did.
He swore and let her go, stepping back. “You’re a cruel tease. You knew I thought you were canning me, and you stood there without underwear? No bra?”
“Now, Landon. How can I know what you’re thinking? I was told not to ‘shrink you.’”
A mean look came into his eyes, and she grew slicker because of it. “Oh man, I can’t wait to teach you a few lessons, Doc. Now go get on your business gear. A blouse and skirt, one with access, so not too tight. Put your hair down and grab your glasses. I’m going to lie down on this couch and wait. Because I need some therapy, ASAP.”
Oh wow. He wants to play.
She stared at him for a moment, then raced downstairs and put on a short, stretchy black skirt she normally wore going out to a bar or club with Sadie, but it could pass for work clothing if need be. She also selected an aqua-colored silk blouse. She brushed her hair out, put on a bit of makeup, spritzed some perfume, and grabbed her glasses as she started back up the stairs.