by Ian Rodgers
My cheerful mood darkened and I tightened my grip on her. Not that she noticed, considered I was made of jelly and not capable of exerting much pressure through it.
“Do you know how many favors I had to cash in to get this?” she demanded as she waved her Ward Breaker around, continuing on her rant. “And then I had to wait even longer! First there was the rain storm, then you nearly knock yourself out dealing with the road, and then there were all the Oozes crowding around you! Well no more! Here I am!”
“Yes, here you are,” I said. I quickly addressed Tara, ‘She’s insane! What should I do?’
~Show her your true form,~ she suggested. At my horrified scoff she explained. ~Listen, I know you’re still upset over Norhelm, but she already suspects you of something. Perhaps confusing you with someone else? But didn’t you notice? She’s after you right now because she knows something about the so-called ‘Talking Oozes’ you were asking about, and is clearly willing to kill to protect some secret.~
I mulled it over, and agreed with her after looking back over the conversation so far with the short intruder.
Taking a deep breath – metaphorically – I let my illusions drip away, revealing my purple, gelatinous, featureless blob of a body. I was still in my Gel Doll form so I could keep a hold of her, though.
She let out a gasp of shock and her grip on the Ward Breaker faltered, causing it to fall from her hands.
“No, impossible,” she muttered, staring at me in horror. “He couldn’t have made more! We destroyed his lab and notes!”
Instead of speaking I surged forth, flowing like a purple tide as I wrapped Katherine’s body up with my own.
“You know about them!” I accused. “Know about things like me! Where are they?!”
“I won’t tell you!” Katherine shouted, and she started to struggle in the goopy bonds she found herself trapped in. “I won’t let Baloron get his hands on them! They’re free, damn it, free from your clutches!”
“Who in the Hells is Baloron?”
Her struggling ceased, and she stared at me. Or rather, at my ‘head’ which I had kept.
I had discovered that people were more comfortable with even the slightest hints of familiarity, so whenever I spoke to new people and I had to do so in my true form I made sure to make a ‘head’ of sorts for them to focus on and talk to. Made them less tense and open.
“Baloron? The Dark Druid?” she asked. I remained silent and confused.
“Master of the Darkwoods? Member of the Shadowspell Alliance?” she tried again. Still no recognition. The latter name sounded familiar but not entirely.
“He created you?” she hazarded and I laughed.
“Unless you mean he created me as a stupid, unintelligent Ooze and dropped me off in the back alleys of Sanc Aldet, then no, I don’t think he created anything like me,” I said in amusement.
She continued to stare at me like I was an impossible dream. Then her eyes lit up. “No. Freaking. Way. No, no, no, no, no! HA! Hilarious!”
She suddenly went quiet. “But, but, you said ‘she’ instead of ‘he,’ right?” She stared at me, her eyes pleading for confirmation so I nodded my ‘head.’ A wild look of surprise filled her eyes.
“I’d heard the rumors about the princess of Varia finding a talking Ooze, but we all assumed it was a joke!” she began to babble, and I listened with interest.
“Everyone thought it was crazy! And that it survived Triach Effect poisoning? That was so absurd it couldn’t be true! But it was true, wasn’t it?!”
She let out a demented laugh. Two parts relief and one part disbelief seemed to be the ratio with the emotions in her mirth.
She then stopped abruptly. “Sweet Cynthia making out with Mother Gaea, I just tried to assassinate Princess Liliana Roan’s pet. Kreblez loc luth!”
From the flustered sputtering Tara was doing I assumed Katherine had just said something rather obscene in dwarfish.
“I think we’ve had enough excitement for one evening,” I said slowly. I really wanted to find out more, but her mind was clearly over stressed and I would not get anything out of her for a while.
I slipped the Ward Breaker into my Dimensional Pocket and gently shoved her back towards the tent flaps, pushing her out into the night.
She staggered off back to her tent, feet unsteady as she processed what had just happened. I was doing the same on my end.
~You’re not freaking out about her knowing your secret. I’m impressed, and somewhat proud,~ Tara said after a minute.
‘You were right, she clearly knows something about the Talking Oozes. And whatever it is she knows, she’s dedicated to keeping it a secret. She won’t talk.’
I made a hum of thoughtfulness. ‘Can you look into those names she mentioned? Baloron the Dark Druid? And the Shadowspell Alliance? They sound important.’
After giving me the affirmative I relaxed and closed the tent back up, making sure to stich the wards Katherine had cut through back together.
‘Alright, I’m going to sleep now. Wake me up if someone else tries to attack me.’
~Of course, Jelly.~
As I drifted off, I contemplated whether or not I should tell Liliana about this development. On one tendril, it would be good for her to know that not only was I right about there being more to the talking Ooze rumor than first seemed, there was someone else who knew my sort-of-secret identity.
On the other tendril, I had no idea how my owner would react to this whole situation. She was a level-headed individual but I didn’t want to make any assumptions about her over protectiveness. After all, she had decked someone who had teased Kine one too many times. That had been a fun afternoon.
I decided to put off any decisions until tomorrow after I had talked with Katherine.
.
The next morning I was up bright and early and eager for explanations from the dwarf adventurer. Somehow Rosa had slept through the whole kerfuffle and woken up confused as to why I was so excited. She was also glad I hadn’t been murdered in my sleep by an angry dwarf, but there were some matters that to her took priority.
After getting dressed I exited my tent, full of confidence I hadn’t known I possessed and my Familiar on my shoulder. Things were looking up for me! Though I was confused as to why everyone was winking at me as I greeted them.
“So, you like them short?” Mitch asked casually. I tilted my head.
“Pardon?”
“Your women. You like ‘em short?”
I thought for a moment. Most of the women in my life were not the tallest specimens. Liliana was a little less than average height, and Kine was almost as short as Katherine, though far more willowy and frail.
And Tilda, well, she’d been a decades old vampire in the body of a thirteen-year-old. Not to mention Rosa was technically a woman, and less than a foot tall. Tara didn’t really count, because her physical form was a towering magical monolith and only really existed inside my head.
As I thought about it I realized most of the women I’d spent my time with were on the short side. I nodded in agreement towards Mitch’s question.
“Of course. They’re cute when they’re tiny,” I said firmly. The spearman shrugged.
“Well, I prefer mine tall and buxom but there’s someone for everyone, right?”
I just nodded in agreement, still not entirely sure where this line of questioning was going.
The C-ranked adventurer then leaned in. “So, what sort of stuff did you get into last night?”
Before I could ask for clarification on what he meant Katherine swooped in and grabbed my right arm. She pulled me away from Mitch with a face that was flushed red.
“What in the Hells are you doing?!” she hissed at me. I ‘stared’ back at her in confusion.
“What do you mean?”
Her angry expression morphed into one of befuddlement than carefully schooled neutrality.
“They heard some things coming from your tent last night.”
“But ho
w? If they’d heard our shouting match wouldn’t they be more curious as to what happened?” I asked, perplexed. “And besides, my wards were only slightly damaged by your Ward Breaker cutting them, they were still operating!”
“You just mentioned that I cut the wards apart, remember?” she said pointedly. “And that means a little bit of our ‘altercation’ escaped your soundproofing. Not much, just vague sounds and general bits and pieces. And do you know what it sounded like to them, and then for a few of the night watchers to see me stagger out of your tent looking exhausted?”
Dawning realization and horror began to creep up over me, and despite my illusions it seemed it still bled through enough for Katherine to read it on my face.
Tara and Rosa were too busy laughing uproariously to offer any moral or mental support, so I was trapped all alone with my embarrassment and a wrathful dwarf.
Katherine leaned in and delivered the final blow in a dreadfully calm and pleasant whisper. “Congrats, Jellik, now everyone thinks we ‘walked a mile in each other’s shoes’ so to speak.”
“I don’t think that’s what the saying is supposed to mean,” I said hesitantly and the much shorter woman reached out and grabbed me by the collar, dragging me down to her eye level.
“Forgive me if I’m a little too overcome with shame to think of proper witticisms and metaphors you purple goop bastard,” she hissed.
I nodded in understanding, suddenly very terrified of this young woman.
She then released me and offered up a sickly smile.
“So now we’re going to spend the day together, discussing certain topics,” she said softly, and released her hold on my clothes. I scrambled back onto my ‘feet.’
“And because everyone thinks we are a couple, they won’t find it odd we’re suddenly acting so close with each other?” I assumed, and Katherine nodded sharply.
We did not speak with each other and simply stood awkwardly next to each other until the caravan started off.
I was in the rearguard today along with Katherine, and we took the opportunity to discuss what had happened last night. There was a lot to go over and thankfully the wind and distance helped muffle our words from reaching the rest of the group. I dared not raise any privacy wards because I was worried the other adventurers would notice and make very wrong and inappropriate insinuations about the two of us.
“So, you were a regular Ooze until Princess Liliana used her Bloodline Trait on you?” the dwarf adventurer asked in confirmation. I nodded.
“Yes. Miraculous Mystery is a bit of an odd Bloodline Trait in that it’s very hard to control. It seemed to activate without her knowing it, and bestowed upon me a mind and soul. I only have the greatest respect and love for her because of it, though.”
Katherine shook her head in stunned disbelief.
“I never thought that was possible! I mean, everyone’s heard the stories and legends of the Roan family and their ancestors the Ar-Varians, but to have actual confirmation they could perform miracles without the need for a divine intermediary? Simply mind blowing!”
“To be fair, I don’t think they can control what Miraculous Mystery does, or when it does it. The Bloodline Trait just activates when it senses there is a need for it,” I pointed out. “Now, onto a different but related topic, what’s the deal with the Talking Oozes you were willing to kill for?”
The short maiden looked askance as she gathered her thoughts before turning back to me.
“I suppose the first thing I have to do is explain a few terms. You were unaware who Baloron was, correct?”
“Yes, I’ve not heard of him or his group before,” I said. Tara had done excellent work in her research, but all she’d been able to find was a research paper on Druidic magic written by a mage with his name, and a notice that he had been declared persona non grata by the entire Gaean religion and the Mage’s Academy as well.
“Baloron is a very foul individual, and a stain on the name and honor of all Druids,” Katherine explained, spitting his name like the vilest of curses. “He earned his moniker ‘The Dark Druid’ due to the fact he was once a loyal disciple of Lady Gaea, but turned his back on her and his own Order after conducting obscene magical experiments and murdering his own master!”
“He did what?!” I exclaimed. A few people glanced back towards us and I waved them off with an awkward smile plastered upon my illusory face.
“Sorry, I’ll try to be quieter,” I promised after seeing Katherine’s disapproving frown. “But, he really murdered the man who’d taught him?”
“Yes. Not only that, but Baloron also stole the Six Branched Staff of Gaea, a holy relic of the Druids,” she said. “He then fled into the Darkwoods, a tainted, untouchable region of the Dullwilds, and has had a bounty on his head for decades.”
“Decades, huh?” I mused. “Is he an elf?”
“Half-elf,” Katherine revealed.
“And the other half?”
“Dwarf.”
I finally understood why she was so hostile towards this figure. Brune, while still a country of devout worshippers of the Divine Family, had very strong ties to Gaea and her Druids thanks to the proximity of the Dullwilds. And as a citizen of Brune Katherine naturally found a man who would betray their goddess as the worst sort of heretic.
Plus, as a dwarf herself she no doubt felt disgusted someone with a part of her people’s blood could be so horrendous.
“Alright, based on what you’ve told me, I can assume that Baloron was the man responsible for creating the Talking Oozes, then? In some sort of twisted ritual or experiment?” I asked, and she nodded.
“Exactly. I’m not privy to all the details and technical facts, and I wouldn’t tell you even if I did know, but the long and short of it is the Dark Druid somehow managed to fuse souls into Oozes.”
I stared at her, utterly repulsed and horrified.
“He used human sacrifices? Dark magic?” I whispered, and she gave a solemn nod.
“And dwarf, elf, gnome, orc, and whatever else he could get his hands on,” she muttered darkly. “And he succeeded in binding a soul to an Ooze, creating a new, artificial breed; the Soul Ooze. Only a few dozen survived his experiments, and they all developed minds of their own as well. Hatred and disgust towards their creator caused them to break free of his laboratory and flee.”
“They eventually came to reside in the hinterlands between Crotia and Arv Prith, living as scavengers for a few years and hiding in secret. Eventually, though, I met one of them.”
“How did that happen?” I asked, intrigued.
“As a wannabe thief,” she said with a chuckle. “He was disguised as a human with illusions and a cloak combo not unlike yours. He wanted to work for the Dark Guild and came to Crotia for a job. He needed money and supplies for his family of escapees. They just could not survive off of trash and leftovers anymore.”
“Ah, so you’re also part of the Dark Guild then,” I guessed softly and Katherine stiffened a bit before forcing herself to relax.
It made sense now that I thought about it. Her stealthy, cat-like movement grace. Her impressive handling of daggers and small tools. The hard gleam in her eyes when she thought I was a threat. She’d been trained to steal and kill in secret.
“That’s exactly it. You’re a sharp one,” she admitted.
“I won’t spread it around,” I promised. “we both have secrets. And despite the fact you are working for criminals I can tell you’re not a bad person. But tell me, are you really registered as an adventurer, or did you forge your documents and badge?”
“First off, thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt,” she said thankfully. “Not everyone is so keen to trust a pickpocket, let alone one who works with assassins on the side. As for your question about the Adventurer’s Guild, not even the Dark Guild is crazy enough to make an enemy of them. And forging files and identities is a good way for their own private Inquisitors to come down on you like an adamantium hammer. So yes, I am legally registered
as an adventurer. I just never saw the need to go above D-rank when I also had a lucrative side venture as a thief.”
“Makes sense,” I admitted. Some of the most powerful people in the world worked for the Guild, and the organization had extensive political and economic reach to boot. They were almost a nation unto themselves with their influence and might.
“Anyways, after I met Valen – that was the Soul Ooze’s name, by the way – we became quick friends. Eventually we learned who he was, though. Not everyone who found out was as understanding. Not to mention Baloron had sent some of his experimental monstrosities to retrieve Valen and his kin, which resulted in a bloody turf war inside of Crotia’s slums.”
“What happened afterwards?” I asked, worried for the Oozes’ safety.
“They left,” she said with a heavy sigh of depression. “Their goal was to amass enough wealth so that they could buy their own village and live peacefully away from everyone.”
“How could they do that? All the countries keep close eyes on who buys land. Sure, some territories fall through the cracks, but how could they purchase an entire village without a background check?”
“It’s quite easy if you don’t buy land in Orria,” Katherine said smugly. I pondered her words and gasped.
“Of course! Drakon! You used the Colonial Rights Act to buy territory in the New World colonies!”
“Exactly!” the dwarf stated proudly. “Ever since the Veil of Mist collapsed after the War of Fallen Gods, the Lost Continent of Drakon has been open to settlement at long last. And every country wants a piece of the pie that is the untapped resources of the Dragonlands. All in all, the paperwork was no trouble. Amassing enough gold to buy the land needed was the tricky part.”
“In the end, Valen and the Soul Oozes had to take out a loan from the Dark Guild in order to buy their homes, though. They couldn’t stick around after the mess with Baloron’s minions, but they hadn’t made enough coin on their own.”
“So that’s how you got such a fine Ward Breaker,” I stated, materializing the enchanted dagger from my Dimensional Pocket to drive my point home. “Your group sees them as an investment. When you heard about a mage who was looking into rumors about Oozes, you assumed I was after your friends, which meant I was also after your money in a roundabout way. You were just protecting your interests.”