I looked away, asking, “Do I have to continue?”
“I think it’d be good for you. It might help you let go of things.”
“Fine.” I huffed. “Tom went from treating me with gentleness to being abrasive. He would tell me what to eat, how to dress, where to be at, how to wash his clothes, clean his apartment . . . the list was endless. I needed the attention and was so willing to please that I just did what he wanted. That’s when he started pressuring me to seal our relationship with sex.”
“Did you?” Dane asked quietly.
“I didn’t want to, but after several months, he kept threatening that if I didn’t give him what he wanted, he’d find it elsewhere.”
Dane shook his head, a look of disgust held his face, but he continued to hold my hand. “Oh, Marissa, he was playing you.”
“I realize that now. I kept wondering why I didn’t have the butterflies in my stomach, feel heat when he touched my skin, or have any feeling at all when he kissed me. I dismissed it as just being scared and hoped that by giving him what he wanted, my virginity, he’d let up and we could just enjoy each other’s company.”
“You were a virgin?” His voice was nearly a roar and his face red with anger.
“I might still be one. I’m just not sure.” I said softly as I focused on the design of the rug of the floor.
Dane’s face was perplexed. “I’m not sure I follow.”
This is so embarrassing. “Tom didn’t believe in foreplay. He was more of a quick and to the point kind of guy. He stripped me, carried me to bed, where he proceeded to handcuff me to the headboard, and secured my ankles where I couldn’t move. It scared the living shit out of me! He didn’t tell me what he was going to do, he just did it.”
He pulled me close as I started to shake. “Take your time, love. This Tom isn’t a proper man if he’d do something like that. Even in a dominant submissive relationship, the Dom has to ask the sub if he/she is okay with the plans and keep asking every step of the way.”
I leaned back. “Dominant, submissive what? OMG, you’re a Dom, aren’t you?”
“That’s beside the point. Our focus is on your nightmare right now. We can discuss things later.”
I could tell that something was different about him, from the other guys I’ve either dated or hung around with, but maybe I was reading too much into things. There was a lot of talk about dominance and submissiveness lately with all the romance novels going around. I’d read a few, but didn’t realize just how much control I’d let Tom have over me until I began talking it out with Dane.
“He started calling me bad names, calling me his little whore, before he climbed up on me. He’d put a condom on and tried to enter me, without doing anything. It hurt like crazy. I begged him to stop, but he wouldn’t. He kept calling me a frigid bitch because my body wouldn’t let him in.
“My crotch felt like it was on fire from the pain he was causing, rubbing me raw; trying to enter me. I kept screaming because it hurt, only when I started to drip blood onto his sheets, did he stop; throwing my clothes underneath me to keep his bed from being soiled. He finally gave up and told me he’d unhook me if I’d suck him off. So he pulled off the condom, climbed up and put himself in my mouth. He gripped my hair so tight that my head hurt, but I did what he asked so I could get out of there.”
I shivered at the next image to fill my mind. “I could tell he was about to come, because I could taste a salty liquid on my tongue and I was repulsed by him. I’d wanted something memorable and magical, not quick and easy, so I jerked my mouth away and he ended up spraying all over my upper body and face.” I paused looking up into his eyes, seeing only care and concern for me. “He hit me, hard across the face, calling me a cold bitch. That he deserved someone he could penetrate anytime he wanted and who’d suck him off and swallow him down.”
“That bastard! If I ever get my hands on him . . .” He trailed off, but still held me close.
“He freed me from his bed and refused to let me clean myself. He said he wanted his slut marked. I dressed quickly and ran out of there, telling him we were through. He told me I was his to do with as he pleased and would see me again.”
My heart felt it was beating out of my chest. “When I was a couple miles away, I called my roommate, Dawn, to come pick me up. She knew that I was going to give in and sleep with him that night and asked how it went. When I broke down crying, she knew. She’d told me he was an asshole and that I deserved someone better in my life. I hadn’t realized how right she was until later. Somehow he managed to affect my work, my friendships, and my relationship with my family. I was just thankful that everyone took me back with open arms.”
“So you dropped his ass, right?”
“Tom came crawling back offering the moon and the sun and like a sucker, I took the bait hook, line, and sinker. However, I started seeing shades of lipstick on his collar that wasn’t mine, smelled nauseating perfume on his clothes. Everyone kept telling me he was cheating on me and I just dismissed it.”
My hands grabbed both sides of his face. I let my thumb trail over his lips. “Your kiss made me see that I was in a pointless relationship and getting the brunt end of everything. You made me feel something I’ve never felt with anyone else before, especially not him. You’re the reason I finally dropped him.”
His lips crashed hard against mine, as his hands wound around my body pulling it close. My mind told me to push away, but my body welcomed the intensity of these feelings. Dane’s lips started to drift down over my neck and pulled at the robe so his teeth could nip at my shoulder.
My body froze instantly, as I pulled back. “I’m sorry.” I shook my head. “I can’t, Dane. I’m scared to death of sexual relations. I guess I truly am a frigid bitch.”
His hands pulled my face up to where our eyes locked. “I won’t allow you to talk this way about yourself. You’re far from frigid. Your body melts into mine when we touch. I can see your hardened nipples beneath your gown, and I can smell that you’re aroused.”
“No. I can’t . . .” I argued.
“You can lie to yourself all you want, Marissa, but your body is telling me something different. I promised I’d stop being so strong in my pursuits, so I’ll tone it down. I plan to show you that you are hotter than anything I’ve ever encountered.”
I pulled away from him, standing up and crossing to the other side of the room. “Aren’t you listening? I’m afraid of sex, Dane! I don’t want to feel that kind of pain again.”
He followed me, wrapping his arms around me from behind, drawing me close to his hard chest and abs. His lips caressed my ear and nibbled down to the area that always drove me crazy, just below my earlobe. If you’re cold, hon you shouldn’t be able to react so intensely to him, especially when he nibbles your ear.
I felt myself relax into his embrace. “You’re safe with me, Marissa. I want to know every inch of you. I’ll wait for now. I want your complete trust in me, because I’m falling for you.”
I turned in his arms and looked up at his face and saw only adoration. “You’re falling for me?”
He nodded and kissed the end of my nose. “I fell for you on the elevator that day and knew you were something special. But, don’t worry I won’t take you until you are willing to submit to me completely.”
What did he mean by submit?
“I can tell your mind is working overtime. Let me rephrase . . . we won’t make love until you feel comfortable enough with me to surrender your whole mind, body, and soul. I want to show you things that you never thought you could feel. I want to create a desire so intense within you that only I can satisfy it.”
His words made me melt, but I hesitated. “But, I’m so cold.” How was I to learn desire and heat, when I’d been unable to feel anything with Tom?
Dane ran his nose across mine, as he whispered. “I’ll take my time and show you that your body responds to mine, that we’re meant to be. It doesn’t matter how long you need, I’ll wait for you, for y
our trust. All I ask is that you try, can you do that?”
The words left my mouth immediately. “Okay.”
He smiled, placing a chaste kiss on my lips. “Are you going to be okay to go back to sleep?”
I was still shaken, and in the past I’d always had a horrendous time getting back to sleep. I’d been dependent upon Dawn or Ashley to sit with me until I fell asleep. Could I trust Dane to do the same? You need him.
My voice was barely audible. “Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?”
He kissed my temple. “I’ll be here for whatever you need.”
I climbed back into bed, still leaving the robe on, and covered up. He turned off the lights and climbed in bed with me. His arms reached out pulling me close to his chest, where I could feel he’d taken off his t-shirt, enjoying the heat of his skin, leaving him only in sleep pants.
He came as close to me as possible, without spooning. “I’m here for as long as you need me. I’ll move back to my room as soon as you’re sleeping soundly.”
I thought I’d be scared of him being so close to me, that my body would be struck with fear, but instead I found comfort. He kept whispering sweet words of encouragement to me as my eyes closed and my mind started to drift.
I AWOKE WITH A start, taking in the strange surroundings, finally realizing where I was. I had strong hands still wrapped around me and a hard body pressed against my back. I was about to panic when I heard Dane whisper. “Its okay love, go back to sleep. I’m here for you.”
A moment later, he was snoring softly. Did he dream of me in his sleep?
The memories of last night came flooding back. What had possessed me to tell him everything? Not even my brother, my roommates, or anyone knew the full truth of what happened between Tom and me.
My body felt too hot with him wrapped around me and my robe was half off, tangled around my legs. He rolled a bit, giving me room to remove the robe and lift up to see that it was approaching ten in the morning. We were about to miss breakfast.
I began to panic. We needed to get moving, we were behind schedule.
I started to leave the bed when his arms wrapped around me, pulling me back to him. “Where are you going, Marissa?”
“I need to get a shower, and so do you. We’re running late. We’ll never get everything done on time.” My voice was frantic.
His lips started kissing up my neck, to my jaw line, and then up to my ear. “We’ll be fine. Remember our itinerary changed. I called down to the lobby and asked them to bring up some brunch for us in thirty minutes. We have the contracts ready to go. All we need to do is print them out at the front desk.
His fingers caressed my shoulder and down my arm, while one of his arms wrapped around my center, holding my back to his front. What was that? Is he sporting morning wood? I hope he doesn’t plan on relieving that with me.
“The meeting isn’t until six this evening. It’s been pushed back, since one of the party’s has a conflict until that time. We have time to relax, maybe take a dip in the pool and hot tub, take a shower, and check out the area before the meeting.”
His body began to lift and curl around mine, bringing him closer to my lips, where he nipped and sucked, making me gasp until his mouth surrounded mine. His kiss owned me, as my tongue met each of his movements. I could feel warmth invading my stomach, and my heart. Could I really be falling for him? Was I feeling something for Dane?
He pulled back, hovering just over me. “I hope I didn’t scare you. Every time I tried to leave last night, you started whimpering in your sleep and saying, “Stay please.” I couldn’t resist you.” His hand came up caressing my hair. “Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are first thing in the morning?”
I shook my head. “No.”
He leaned back in, seeking out my lips, when a knock came at the door. “Just my luck. That’d be our food. Might as well get up and eat it while it’s hot.” He gave me a chaste kiss on the lips as he grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it over his head.
My breath caught as my eyes finally took in just how chiseled he was. I’d seen the arms and abs on Dane, but his back had that sexy v shape to it that showed how athletic he really is. My heart seemed to flutter as I watched every muscle move as he put on his shirt, wishing I was the one covering his back. Did I just think that? Holy shit, he’s got my head, and my body, feeling so confused.
I was thankful to see that it wasn’t just me feeling confused and aroused. Dane’s sleep pants hung low on his hips, revealing a bulge at the center and a tattoo over his right hip. I wonder if I’ll ever get a chance to see what the tattoo is? While seeing a man naked intimidated me, my curiosity was building.
The morning went quickly with us eating the best fromage, a.k.a. cheese, omelet I’ve ever tasted, along with melt in your mouth croissants and coffee. Dane had told me the cheese used for the omelet, we split, was the same as the one we were signing under contract today. The name was unique, Ossau Iraty, but the taste was sinful!
After brushing our teeth and combing our hair, Dane showed me just how spectacular the view was. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. There were acres upon acres of grape vines that went right up to neighboring Chateaus. He pointed out that we were within walking distance of a town down the street with a restaurant we’d check out later tonight.
He’d mentioned us going for a swim. I’d been against it, when I noticed he’d packed only a bikini swimsuit in my suitcase. But, after seeing the view of the pool set right inside the vineyard walls, I couldn’t resist.
The pool and hot tub were amazing, built as part of the stone wall architecture, looking like it belonged as part of the vineyard. I should’ve known that he’d use any excuse to get his hands on me. I wasn’t in the sun for more than five minutes when he was whipping out the sunscreen and offered to attend to the parts I couldn’t reach. He was definitely smooth in his pursuits. The sad thing was that he’s already wearing me down a bit.
In the pool, he kept swimming up beside me, wrapping his arms around me just long enough for a kiss, before he swam off. In the hot tub we talked more about life, about his family and mine, and what he wanted out of the future. It took me by surprise when he was adamant that I was his future.
I wanted to argue, but his wolfish grin let me know he’d kiss me until I relented. I decided not to push things, just wanting to enjoy whatever we had in the moment and learn more about my job and the company.
The meeting was uneventful. The sellers were exceptionally happy with the projections we’d made regarding their items and the price we’d be able to give them. They were so grateful for the deals that we were given samples of everything to take back with us.
When we were back in the car, Dane asked. “Would you like to stay here, in France, another night, or would you like to fly on to Greece? If we fly, I need to tell the pilots to ready the plane and we won’t get in until early morning tomorrow. If we stay, we can leave by eight in the morning and be there in Athens in time for our meeting at four.”
I was feeling a little confused and snarky. “Let’s see. We can either get broken sleep which means I’ll be irritable tomorrow or we can have a good night’s sleep and be refreshed when arriving in Athens. It doesn’t take a genius, Sherlock!”
I watched as a smile spread across his face. He grabbed his phone and called the pilots, while smiling and shaking his head. “Go ahead and enjoy the night. Have the plane ready to leave by eight in the morning. Thanks.”
“I ought to put you over my knee and spank your sweet derrière for being smart with me. But, I’d rather kiss those irresistible lips of yours and get some food. I’m starving, how about you?” He reached over grabbing my face and giving me a gentle kiss.
“I could eat a little something, but it doesn’t have to be much.”
His eyebrows arched and his voice scolded. “You’re too thin Marissa.”
“Are you blind? I’m a size 10, Dane. I have some cellulite on my thighs, my hips are wide and I have
some junk in my trunk.” I mused, feeling a little self conscious.
He shook his head. “You’re an Italian goddess, how every woman should look in my book darling.” His nose rubbed up against mine as his eyes peered deep into my soul. “You’ve lost so much since I first kissed you. I loved how you looked then and I love how you look now and more importantly, I’ll love how you’ll look when you carry my children.”
What the hell? “Carry your what? Dane, we’re not even dating. We’re co-workers, just starting to feel each other out. You can’t go spouting off shit like that.” I put my hand to my mouth. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to curse.”
He laughed and tilted his head. “I have to admit you‘re a spitfire and I admire that. I like a woman who can tell it how it is. You’re right. I got a little ahead of myself. It’s just something about you, Marissa that makes me see a future together with you.” His eyes darkened, as he leaned forward, just millimeters from my face. “I can’t help my need to “feel” you out. I’m weak and you’re my soul’s addiction. But, I’ll take it back for now and focus on our dinner and just getting through this crazy week.”
The remainder of the evening was wonderful. He took me to a Moroccan restaurant where we sat on the floor, ate with our hands, and just talked. How we found so much to talk about I don’t know, because I’ve never talked this much with anyone before, but it was fun. The first time I found myself actually letting down my guard in a long time and just enjoying the moment. If I was honest with myself, I’d have to admit that I was slowly falling for him, too.
We’d gone to our respective rooms to sleep, but Dane had started screaming out, “No!” in his sleep and I ran to wake him up and comfort him. I guess it was my turn to fall asleep in his bed and keep his nightmares away for the evening.
OUR STOP IN ATHENS, Greece, was short and sweet, only lasting overnight, before we were off to Florence, Italy. I’d wanted some time to show Marissa some of the ancient ruins of the city, but promised we’d be back and could do that at a later time.
I Need You Always Page 10