"There is that, yes." He wiped a last few laugh tears from his eyes. "But has it ever occurred to you that the enormous magical potential in you can bend toward evil choices just as easily as good?" He waited until the sparkle of humor in her eyes faded into interest and the unfocused gaze that signaled deep thought. "You and Megassa are both great-granddaughters of the Nameless One. His poison could still linger in your blood, bound to your flesh and bone with spells so quiet, so deeply buried, no one can sense them no matter how carefully we watch. But just as your grandmother Nainan taught us, free choice and the power of the will can battle that magic when nothing that outside forces can do will prevail. We train you to protect you, to teach you to choose the right, to follow the Estall. Just as Megassa can be a tool for our enemies, because of her heritage, you can also be touched by that magic, that enemy, and in the end, only you can protect yourself. Only Megassa can choose the right."
"Then shouldn't she get the same training?"
"Indeed, she should."
"Does she have imbrose?"
"No one knows." He decided Meghianna had endured enough bitter, heavy truth for the day. Later, when the girls were older and the elder girl's imbrose manifested, and Megassa expected to show her own magical talents--that was time enough to reveal to Meghianna, certainly not to Megassa, that her imbrose had been stunted from birth. They had learned their lesson too bitterly well, with Endor. Megassa would never be allowed to hold her magical heritage. Whether any children born of her flesh would be allowed to keep their imbrose would depend on how well she proved she was free of her family's heritage of evil.
Four brisk taps on the door, a pause of three heartbeats, then four more taps, followed by a rattling of the latch signaled the Warhawk was free of his Council meeting. Mrillis watched the brightness come back to Meghianna's face. She was a child again, not a grown woman, matured beyond her years by the weight of her duty. His heart ached with the guilt he knew every Queen of Snows had ever carried, when they recognized their heirs and set about to train them. How had Le'esha endured the burden of training Ceera and taking her innocence and freedom away from her for the good of the World?
"Papa!" Meghianna crowed, and leaped from her seat to run to the door. She yanked on the heavy iron latch, which resisted her, and whirled around to frown at Mrillis. "Please?"
"Must you leave?" he said, pouting to tease her. With a flicker of thought, he untied the knot of Threads that kept the door sealed more securely than a dozen locks and bars, and yanked on the latch, so the door swung open with enough force to bounce against the wall.
The sound of the bang was muffled by Meghianna's squeal of delight as she leaped into her father's arms. Efrin roared laughter and spun her around twice before setting her down.
"There's my Meggi, all dusty from spending her day crawling through scrolls and records. No ink stains on those pretty fingers, I hope?" He nodded once, exaggerated satisfaction on his face, when she fluttered her fingers for his examination. "Well, what shall we do today?"
"I want to give Megassa a pony so she can learn to ride," the child announced. "She's going to train to be a soldier with Captain Gynefra, Papa, so she truly does need to learn to ride right away."
"A soldier, huh?" Efrin straightened up, rubbing his bearded chin, and cast a questioning frown at Mrillis. "Very busy morning?"
"Gynefra wrote a report about the incident in the stable. I suppose it's too much to hope you read it," Mrillis said.
"I have reports stacked as high as my knee. We spent the entire council session discussing the latest Encindi movements and what we should do--finally--to keep them contained, instead of reacting after another farm or estate has been burned. Who has time to read reports?" He bent over enough to look his daughter in the eye and braced his hands on his thighs. "Well, I suppose soldiering is a good choice for your sister. Do you approve?"
"I think... it doesn't matter right now. Megassa doesn't like not having anything to do. Lots of people tell her she isn't allowed to do anything, because she's--" A blush darkened her face. "I know it's not a bad word when it's used right, but Nalla said I still shouldn't use it."
Mrillis mouthed 'bastard,' and had to fight a snort of laughter when Efrin rolled his eyes and muffled a grin behind his hand.
"So, she's bored. Well, boredom more often leads to mischief than a bad heart, my mother always used to say. Do you think your sister will like soldiering?"
"I think she will like it because she gets to be with Captain Gynefra, and she likes Captain Gynefra."
"Very wise observation, my dear." He bowed to her, low enough their foreheads touched, earning a giggle.
The boy is still too young for this, Mrillis decided. It amused him a little, that he still thought of Efrin as 'the boy,' and puzzled him that he never really saw Meghianna as a child. He wasn't prone to visions, as Ceera had been, but it seemed to him that a ghostly image of Meghianna as a grown woman hovered in the background during every encounter with the girl, and it colored every exchange. Whether that was a blessing or a barrier, he could never be sure.
* * * *
"Papa, I think you should spend time with Megassa like you do with me. It's only fair," Meghianna said, looking into the dark, round eyes of the pony Efrin had let her choose for her sister's use. They stood in the doorway of the stables, where they had plenty of light to examine the neatly brushed, plump brown creature.
"Fair? I suppose you're right."
"It's not her fault she was born, is it?"
"I can see I'm going to have to sit in on some of your lessons with our dear Lord Mrillis," her father exclaimed, and yanked on the pony's bridle, earning a disgruntled snort from the creature.
"Oh, Lord Mrillis didn't tell me all that. Nalla did. And I overheard some things. And I know you wouldn't break your promise to my Mama, so I think you were tricked, so you shouldn't feel guilty or embarrassed. Should you?" It occurred to Meghianna, as she tipped her head to the side and studied her father, that perhaps this was one of those times when she should have kept her concerns to herself. Adults sometimes reacted oddly to what she thought was perfect sense.
"If only the world could see through your eyes," Efrin said on a sigh. His mouth curved up on one side. "We would all be much happier and kinder to each other, I think." He went down on one knee before her. "Would it make you happy?"
"I think you wouldn't be so lonely when I'm at the Stronghold. And..." She swallowed hard, wishing she could push away the thought that came to her.
How many times had Nalla teasingly scolded her for asking too many questions, and listening to adult conversations instead of ignoring them like most children did?
"What?" He caught her chin gently with two fingers and tipped her head up so their gazes met again. "Are you lonely, my Meggi?"
"I'm too busy to be lonely. Except just before I fall asleep," she hurried to add in a burst of honesty. That earned a widening of her father's grin and a snort of laughter. "I know you don't dare let Megassa come to the Stronghold, just like you can't let people know where her mother is hidden. You're afraid our enemies will control her. And use her to hurt me. But what if they use her to hurt you, too, Papa?"
"Ah, and do you think your papa is afraid of that happening?" He stood, signaling for the stable hand, who came to fetch the pony and put him in a stall next to Mist.
"I think my papa is a very brave man." She slipped her hand into Efrin's, and they walked out into the sunlight.
"But?" He swung her arm extra hard, making her giggle.
"But everybody reminds me that my papa is also the Warhawk, and politics is an invisible monster that whispers in everyone's ears and ties their hands and makes everything complicated."
"You are growing up far too fast."
"I don't think so. I think it will be a long time before I am old enough and smart enough and know enough to be Queen of Snows. That is a good thing, isn't it, Papa?"
"A very good thing." He squeezed her hand. "The invisib
le monster says I would be very smart to have had Megassa killed when she was born, or even had her and her mother killed before she was born. But while the monster whispers that in one ear, it whispers in my other ear that protecting myself and my throne and the future that way is impossible. Some people say to destroy the problem before it grows strong and smart, and other people would say that is proof that I am unworthy to be the Warhawk, if I killed an innocent child and her insane mother."
"And some of those people say both things at the same time, I think."
"Ah, you are far too wise! I should put the Warhawk crown on your head." He swept her up to sit astride his hip, putting them at eye-level again. "What do you think of that?"
"It is very heavy and too big for my head. And I would much rather be only the Queen of Snows. And not for a very long time," she added, pressing her little hands against her father's cheeks. "Papa, why didn't I ever see Megassa before?"
"She wasn't living here, until last fall. She has been living in a very far off castle on Moerta. I thought she was safe. And we were all safe from her," he added, nodding, almost the moment that thought occurred to Meghianna. She liked those times when it seemed she and her father thought the same things, as if their minds touched without any imbrose. "Nobody but the lord of the castle knew who she was. We hoped that ignorance was enough to protect us all. And her."
"But something bad happened?" She smiled as he carried her through the archway into her walled garden.
"Our enemies found out where she was. Her guardian sent me regular reports, telling me if she was healthy, if she was smart, if she was happy. I don't hate her. I know she's innocent, but it's rather hard to look at her." His eyes darkened with pain and guilt Meghianna recognized, but couldn't quite understand, even after all Nalla and Mrillis had explained to her. "Those enemies tried to kidnap her. And when they couldn't, they tried to kill her."
"People died, Papa?" she whispered. She rested her head on his shoulder when he sat down on her favorite bench, next to the stone shelter that held all her gardening tools and protected the spring she used for watering her garden.
"Good people died to protect her. And once our enemies knew where she was, I knew she wouldn't be safe anywhere but here, where enchanters could watch her and protect from magic attack. And Captain Gynefra could protect her from knives and arrows and swords."
"She needs a papa and a sister, doesn't she?"
"Are you sure you don't need a sister, more?" He wrinkled his nose at her and tipped his head down so their noses and foreheads touched.
"I think... if she knows you like I know you, Papa, Megassa will love you as much as I do. She is going to be a soldier. She can protect you when I'm not here. When we are grown up, of course," she added with a decisive nod.
"Of course," Efrin sighed.
* * * *
Megassa showed more interest in getting to know her new pony and learning to ride him than she did in meeting her father. That bothered Meghianna, until Lord Mrillis explained that when people were hurt in their hearts, they were slow to trust and to make friends. Megassa knew her father hadn't wanted to see her when she came to the fortress the fall before, and that hurt her. It would take time, Mrillis warned, before Megassa and Efrin could be friends, then learn to love each other. He told Meghianna he approved of her reasoning, and that soothed away her fear that she had caused problems for her father with her request.
Efrin made an effort to go riding with his daughters every three or four days. His roar of laughter when Megassa made her pony perform tricks for him encouraged her to try more tricks, and take chances with risky riding. Efrin realized first what Megassa was going to do, the day she wore leggings and a boy's tunic on their ride, and knelt in the saddle before they had left the gates of the fortress. He rode up close to the pony, watching the little girl rather than the road ahead of them. When Megassa scrambled up to stand in the saddle, his face went white and he rode close enough his warhorse almost stepped on the pony. Meghianna decided that meant he did indeed care about Megassa. When she slipped, Efrin snatched her up into his saddle almost before she let out her little cry of fear.
"Gynefra, are you teaching my daughter trick riding?" he demanded, when he swung his mount around to face the other riders.
"No, Majesty." The guard captain went pale also, but sat straight in her saddle and held out her arms to take Megassa.
"Then someone had better start." Efrin turned Megassa around in the saddle to face him. From her vantage point, Meghianna saw her sister stare at him, wide-eyed and pale, with trembling lips. That was fear, she realized, and wondered how Megassa could ever fear their father. "You did very well, for being so young. I wouldn't want you to break your pretty little neck. Promise me, you'll be careful?"
"Yes, sir," Megassa whispered. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" He shook his head. "I'm proud of you. That was very clever. I hear you're a good bowman already. I'm glad you want to be a soldier. That is an important thing to do. Someday, when you're grown, you will ride next to me in battle."
"I will?"
"I promise." Efrin let out a sigh that ended on a growl. "Megassa... we've started badly, but I do want to be friends." He glanced at Meghianna, and something in her expression made him laugh. "I am your father, and your sister loves you--"
"She does?" Megassa twisted around to look at Meghianna, her eyes wide with wonder, and glistening with tears.
"Now I've gone and done it." He lifted her up and held her close for a brief hug. Then he swung her over into Gynefra's waiting arms. "I've bungled it again. Mrillis--"
"I think it would be best if Meghianna and Gynefra explained things to Megassa," Mrillis said, his tone dry and tight, but a sparkle of laughter in his eyes. "Women are much better with such things."
"Please do." Efrin shook his head. "I think we should finish our ride, and then we have a delegation from Moerta arriving this morning, don't we?"
"Yes, Majesty, we do." Mrillis turned his head, met Meghianna's gaze, and winked. She grinned back. When she looked at Megassa again, her sister watched her with a somber gaze, but her tears had dried already.
"I think I would learn tricks better with a bigger horse," Megassa offered in a little voice. "Please?"
"Start small," Gynefra said as she settled Megassa on the saddle behind her. "It's a shorter distance to fall."
"I won't fall. I never fall," the little girl proclaimed, so much pride and certainty in her voice, it earned a grin and laughter from Efrin and Mrillis both.
Chapter Four
Megassa never fell, no matter how many hours she put into learning trick riding, first with Gynefra, then with the Warhawk's couriers, who taught her to lean down from the saddle, holding on with only her ankles, to pick up pieces of parchment lying on the ground. Meghianna sometimes wished she didn't have quite so many lessons, so much to learn, so she could spend time in the stables learning about taking care of horses and different styles of saddles and bridles, too. Her mind sometimes wandered to Megassa and whatever her sister might be doing, during those few special times she was allowed to sit in a quiet corner of the Warhawk's council room, shielded from sight by Mrillis' magic, to listen and learn. The third time it happened, she confessed it to her father and Mrillis, over dinner.
"Tragedy," Efrin said, shaking his head. His mouth curved down in disappointment, but Meghianna couldn't miss the laughter in his eyes.
"You're making fun of me, Papa." She turned to Mrillis, who watched her with that considering look on his face, eyes unfocused, head tipped to one side, lips pursed. "I don't know what's wrong."
"Nothing is wrong." Mrillis shook his head, blinked, and sat back in his chair.
"Nothing," Efrin agreed. "You're just... normal. I'm heartily bored quite often during council sessions. I can't imagine how you manage to last an hour."
"I get a funny feeling in my stomach sometimes, when I get to watch Megassa practice," she admitted. "I wish I could ride like her. And I...
it's not angry, really, but I don't like the feeling I get when you watch her, Papa, and you cheer for her. Am I getting sick?"
"That, Princess, is jealousy," Mrillis said. "Or envy. That's a prettier sounding word. You want something your sister has."
"That's not good, is it?"
"Well, it's a glimpse into how the rest of the world feels, sometimes," Efrin said with a sigh. He studied his cup, turning it slowly around in his hands, keeping it level so the wine didn't slop out. "I don't suppose it helps to tell you that I don't love you any less, now that your sister is part of my life. I know it certainly didn't help between me and Cafral, when we were jealous of each other."
"Do you think Megassa is jealous of me?" Meghianna dropped her spoon, startled by the thought.
"Of course. But I think it is a good thing, if it is guided," Mrillis said. "She isn't jealous of your father's love, because she knows she has it, too. She certainly isn't jealous of all your lessons, though I notice she has applied herself more diligently to learning to read and write. I think it is amusing what makes her most jealous is that you are older, even though it is only by a few moons. That is something she can't fix, no matter how hard she works."
"Why would she want to be older?"
"Why didn't you mention that before?" Efrin said almost at the same time.
Meghianna didn't like the darkness that touched his eyes, or the way they narrowed, or the hard lines that formed around his mouth, not quite hidden by his beard.
"Megassa has decided that if she were older, she would be the princess and Meghianna would be the younger sister... and people would be kinder to her."
"If Megassa were the princess instead of me..." Meghianna gnawed on her lower lip for a moment. "I would still be Queen of Snows. Lady Ceera chose me. But would Megassa be more important to people? Would they be nicer to her?"
"People will be nicer to her now, I promise," Efrin said. He shoved his chair back and got up so quickly, the chair rocked a little.
THREE DROPS OF BLOOD Page 4