Before the world ended, the other kids at school would call me a player. A tool. A douche. That’s all I wanted to be, after the things I had done, those women who’d never return home because of me. The lives I took before I knew control. I didn’t want to care about anyone other than Kirk and Alyssa. Honestly, I didn’t think I had it in me.
I didn’t want to go over to Kass, and I was sure she didn’t want me over there, either. Somehow my legs weren’t on the same wavelength as my brain, for I walked up the porch and sat beside her.
For a few minutes we sat in silence. I stared down at my hands, tracing my knuckles with my thumb. It was impossible for me to deny the pull I felt toward her. Yes, I was attracted to her, but that wasn’t what I meant.
There was something else. Something that spoke to my Demon side. Some light my dark inner self was drawn to, like a moth to flame. Strangely, I was the moth in the analogy. In the past, I’d always been the flame. I couldn’t help but wonder if other Demons felt it, too, if they felt the magnetism like I did. Maybe that was why Gabriel wanted her so badly. No one wanted the light more than the Prince of Darkness.
Suddenly I felt a heavy weight, and I turned to meet her light eyes. There was something on her mind, and I was slow to ask, “What is it?”
“It’s…weird,” Kass eventually said. “Every time I look at you, I picture the bloody mess that you left in the school office for me. Everything you did after Osiris’s light went inside you, all those people you killed…it was because of me.”
I held in a smirk, for it seemed like everyone had some self-blame they had to sort out. None of us were perfect, although Kass was the closest out of all of us. “And why is it because of you? You didn’t make the other me do any of those things.” I wasn’t there, so it was hard to reassure her. I did my best.
“You did everything to get to me. Instead of ending the world, like all signs pointed to, you were obsessed with me.” Kass shrugged once. “Maybe that was a good thing. Kill a dozen but keep the world intact.” She gripped the bench, shaking her head. “Osiris’s evilness was meant for me. It was supposed to take me. I was marked as its vessel, but then you…” She chuckled, recalling, “I thought you were an agent for Osiris. I thought I couldn’t trust you. I liked you, but I thought you were trying to kill me. But then…then you saved me.”
“Sometimes I’m known to do the right thing,” I was slow to say, slightly taken aback at everything she told me.
“If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know what would’ve happened.” Kass then asked, “You did like me, didn’t you? You didn’t chase me just because you’re two hundred years old and like young girls, did you?”
At that, I couldn’t help but smile. “I don’t know what you think about us, but greater Vampires are not that common, so you might not know that we don’t mentally age. Being forever eighteen sucks. I get the hormones and the risk-taking with only small amounts of lesson-learning.”
Kass grinned. “Like any normal eighteen-year-old boy.”
“Yeah,” I spoke, feeling warm under her gaze. “And for the record, I did like you. A lot.”
For a moment, neither of us said anything more. After a while, Kass stood and moved to the front door, lingering as she traced the wing on her necklace. “Do you think we would’ve dated?” There was a pause before she added, “Or were we doomed from the start?”
The question stumped me. I never was one to think hard about the future. Even if we did date, there was the problem of my Vampirism, the problem of Kass’s duty. Raphael told me about what her and Gabriel were chosen to do. Imbued with strength from God, they were his mortal instruments to help purify the world and make it a safer place for his children, for humans.
It seemed the Old Man in the sky chose poorly when he picked Gabriel.
“I don’t know,” I spoke measuredly. “There was a lot between us, and a lot in between us.” Of course, I referred to Gabriel, but I dared not say his name aloud, fearing he would hear me. Then again, he probably eavesdropped on this entire conversation, somehow. I’d never put the Devil past anything.
I couldn’t tell if she was happy with the response, or saddened by it, for she slipped inside the house, not saying another word.
Well.
I couldn’t say whether that talk brought any closure or not.
Chapter Twenty-Nine – Kass
I sighed.
The shower was nice and hot, the whole room steamy, just how I liked it, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what John said. There was a lot between us, yeah. I knew that. A lot of awkward, intense feelings that I never had before about anyone. I never let myself, because I knew after what happened with Gabriel, relationships were cautionary tales. I was going to die young, so why not focus on my work? On purifying and fighting?
Those moments, before John went psycho, where we talked and laughed, almost kissing but not quite…those moments were nice, and I couldn’t help but wonder how it was to be a normal teenager, with nothing else to worry about except boys and maybe grades and a small job.
But he also said there was a lot in between us. That was what confused me. A lot in between us? He wasn’t referencing Gabriel, was he? Maybe he meant my job as a Purifier, or his tortured past as the brother who was always out of control.
With yet another sigh, I turned off the water and wrapped myself up in a towel, slowly stepping out. The instant I was out of the tub, though, I wasn’t in the bathroom. Odd, right? Odd for anybody but me.
I stood in a field, clad in my towel and sopping wet hair. When I turned, I saw my mother floating a few feet away, her flowing white dress defying all laws of gravity. She was no older than thirty, however old she was when she died. At least, I assumed she died. Koath never told me about my real parents. Guardians were forbidden, actually. They were supposed to be the parental figures in a Purifier’s life, ones who wouldn’t stop us from fighting until our death. A true parent would do the opposite, never wanting their kid in danger.
She was pretty, her appearance similar to mine. I just knew in my gut she was my mother. Whoever my father was, wherever he was, whether he was alive or dead, I had no idea, and truthfully, I didn’t care. Not then.
It was always my mother.
“Hello, Kassandra,” she spoke kindly, smiling.
“Yeah, hello. Hi. Is it, uh, too much to ask to not be in a towel?” As I asked the question, I glanced downwards, finding that I was suddenly in a bright, clean white dress very similar to hers. I picked at the sides, lifting them once and letting them fall. My hair was instantly dried. “A dress. It doesn’t feel weird on me at all.” When my mother did nothing except smile, I added quietly, “That was sarcasm, because dresses and I don’t get along.”
I thought back to all the other visions I had of her, what she told me in every, single one.
“If you’re going to say I’m going to die,” I told her, “let me be the first to say that you’re starting to sound like a broken record.”
My mother reached out, gently touching my forehead and then my cheek. A tingling sensation spread from where she touched me, the electricity causing my heart to practically skip a beat. “I am so proud of what you have become. But time is growing short. Your hand changes anything it touches.”
When she said nothing more, I deadpanned, “What does that mean?”
“You must be careful of what you face. The creature who took you in this world will lead to your undoing in yours.”
I closed my eyes, shaking my head. “Can you speak in anything besides riddles?”
She laughed. “Do what you do best: save the world. I can think of only one person in any world who should be there next to you.”
“Easier said than done,” I told her. “This world’s Gabriel is a little…” I lifted my hand, tilting it back and forth, the sign for iffy.
“Keep him with you. He is the only one other Demons fear. Teach, and learn, that it’s okay to feel.” My mother leaned down, planting a tiny kiss on my foreh
ead. “Good luck, my child.”
I closed my eyes when I felt her lips on me, slowly opening them once she was gone, finding that I was once again I the bathroom, in a towel, hair dripping to the floor. I did not feel any better after that encounter.
Was that supposed to make the upcoming fight for the staff easier? Because, from past experiences, during the end of a mission, there was always a big fight. I had a feeling we were going to go toe-to-toe with the man they called the King.
I couldn’t wait.
That night I could scarcely sleep.
The King killed me in this world, that much I knew. The way my mother spoke, it sounded like whoever the King was would end up killing me in my world, too. Did that mean everything that happened here was going to happen back home the second I bit the dust?
If so, great.
Just great.
No pressure at all, really.
Slowly, I rolled out of bed, moving before the window. This spell-filled warehouse even had a full moon to grace its starry nights, closer and clearer than the one outside that constantly loomed over the world.
It was true I wasn’t afraid to die, but that didn’t necessarily mean that I enjoyed hearing it, or thinking about it. I didn’t want to die, that was for sure. I didn’t know anybody that did.
I felt the goosebumps on my arms, and I rubbed them with my hands. Couldn’t Alyssa turn up the heat a few degrees in this warehouse? Maybe this house had a thermostat. It had running water, after all, so why not something to control the temperature?
An innate feeling told me I wasn’t alone, and my gut was right when I heard someone say in a tone that was eerily familiar yet different at the same time, “I could think of another way to warm you up.”
In spite of myself, I smiled, and continued to smile as Gabriel’s reflection appeared in the window, taller than mine. “Now that,” I whispered, turning to face him, “is something my Gabriel would say.”
“We are almost one in the same, aren’t we?” he asked, the emotion behind his blue stare heavier than ever, emotions I’d never seen inside my Gabriel. That, or he was really good at hiding them.
I studied him, examining him hard. His face, his expression, the beginning of wrinkles around his eyes. Even his hairstyle, the way he carried himself—none of it reminded me of my Gabriel. Not immediately.
“After everything,” I finally said, locking gazes, “I still don’t know.”
“Is there anything I can do to help you decide?” Gabriel whispered the question, and the way his voice glided over each word, I found myself growing flushed in the face. He took a step closer to me. “Anything I can say, or show you?” Another step.
I held up a hand between us, saying, “What I said before…it—it still holds.” I didn’t sound half as confident as I wanted to, and Gabriel heard it. He walked into my hand, for it was no barrier, a half-hearted one at best.
“You don’t sound too sure,” Gabriel said, angling his head downwards.
I remembered the kiss in the house, remembered liking it. I also remembered the lies he told me, how he hid what he was, what he became after he lost this world’s me. The necklace was a thousand pounds around my neck. All the bad, and I still couldn’t shake off the memory of that stupid kiss.
After a moment, I spoke honestly, “I’m not.” A very breathy sigh escaped me when he grabbed my face, backing us up to the wall beside the window. My heart beat so fast I was afraid it would pop right out of my chest.
I wanted to say that we couldn’t, but the truth was that we could. I knew we shouldn’t—that doing anything would first off go against everything I ever said to my Gabriel, and secondly go against my Purifier purpose. He was the Prince of Darkness, the Devil. Somehow, someway, Gabriel was not just Gabriel.
This wasn’t my Gabriel. I wasn’t his Kass. Yet here we were, me pinned against the wall and him, doing the pinning.
“Dear God,” I muttered, realizing that I wanted nothing more in that moment than to kiss him again. What was wrong with me?
Gabriel’s face was inches from mine as he whispered, “Even God can’t save you now.”
Then it was over.
My eyes were closed, my will to deny the attraction crumbling. His lips were on mine, his hands cupping my face. They would’ve stopped me from running, from turning my head like I did to poor John that day in his car. But today, or tonight, I should say, I didn’t feel like running. I didn’t feel like turning my head and avoiding it.
God help me, I wanted it.
I wanted him.
As it turned out, there was nothing more tempting than the Devil himself, especially when that Devil had the aged face of someone you cared about, someone you loved…someone you would die for.
His breath was hot on my face, his mouth moving to my neck and planting countless kisses on every inch of my neck and collarbone. God, I never thought it could feel so good. Our bodies, well used from years of fighting and purifying, fit against each other’s like puzzle pieces.
Except his piece was older, darker, and full of loss.
I lost myself in him, kissing him back, running my hands down his chest. I must have been too into our make out session, for I didn’t know until that moment that his shirt somehow came off.
I wasn’t complaining.
It was like John said with the hormones. I was raging with them. I didn’t want to stop.
Gabriel picked me up and carried me to the bed. No warning bells rang in my head. I was too busy enjoying the feeling of his hands sneaking below my shirt.
What got into me?
Why did I want to keep going, to let this Gabriel—AKA the Devil, AKA someone I technically just met a week ago who did nothing but lie to me—do anything he wanted to me? I never knew I could get so hot and bothered.
I was going to need some real therapy after I was out of this world.
The sunlight shining through the window woke me. Whatever time it was, I didn’t care. I was tired from my all-nighter with Gabriel. We didn’t go all the way. I managed to regain some control over myself, and he didn’t push, which surprised me. You’d think the Devil wouldn’t care about consent.
This one, at least, did.
I had some massive stubble burn on my face, though, and as I rolled over to look at him, I rubbed my cheek, still feeling like his mouth was showering me with kisses, both light and hard, hungry and passionate.
Gabriel laid in the bed beside me, already awake. For the first time, he didn’t look sad. No gloom and melancholy rested in his handsome features, and I had a pretty good idea why that was.
He grinned as he watched me yawn. “When I look at you, I still can’t believe you’re real.”
I smirked at myself, laying on my back. “With the decisions I’ve been making lately, I’m surprised I’m still here.” I moaned. “This is going to make my reunion at home very awkward.”
Gabriel ran a finger along my collarbone as he said, “You could always stay here.”
“You know I can’t.” As I met his blue stare, I added, “Last night…it doesn’t change the fact that I have to get home.”
He turned silent, thinking. “You could do the same thing with me, the other me, when you get home. There isn’t any alternate reality where I would stop you from kissing me.” Dimples appeared on his cheeks, and for a moment, he reminded me so very much of the Gabriel I missed dearly.
Of the Gabriel that could read my mind.
He was going to have some colorful things to say to me, I knew.
The Gabriel in this world was seconds from saying something else when the door opened. John stepped in, talking before his mind registered what he was seeing, “Can you wake up already? If we want to get moving, we need to go soon. Lesser Vampires are gathering in front of…” He finally trailed off, seeing Gabriel and I in bed together.
Gabriel had his shirt off, sitting up and letting John see for himself.
I was quick to get up, about to say something along the lines of this
isn’t what it looks like, but then I realized I didn’t owe John an explanation. I didn’t owe anyone anything, so I kept quiet.
“Oh,” John coughed, eyebrows creasing. “Okay. Well, Raphael and I…we’ll be waiting for you outside. Whenever you’re ready to get this show on the road.” Biting his lower lip, he quickly left in a Vampiric flash.
“He’s right,” I said, glancing at Gabriel. “We should get moving.” I was up and zipping up my boots in the next moment, while Gabriel took his sweet old time. Stretching and making an obvious show before slipping into his shirt. He had the exact same Celtic cross tattoo on his chest as my Gabriel. Thankfully it was too dark to see it last night, otherwise it would’ve made separating the two in my head a lot more difficult.
As we walked through the house, I shot him a look. “Did you even sleep at all last night?”
“No, but if the snores were any indication, you did.”
I stopped directly in front of the door, slamming a quick hand in his gut. “I did not snore,” I muttered under my breath, astounded that after that hot and heavy make out session, he was starting to act more like my Gabriel. I flicked him off for added effect as I pushed the door open and stepped out in the artificially created light of day.
Gabriel let out a low sigh, whispering, “If only that were true.”
I glared at him, shooting icy daggers with my eyeballs. It was a look I was well-accustomed to giving the Gabriel in my world.
John and Raphael stood on the sidewalk. John was still mortified about what he thought he walked into, while Raphael seemed…happy. That was a switch from the solemn, serious tone he wore on his face and the heavy-handed way he spoke. In fact, the man was smiling at nothing. A boyish grin, one I deduced came from a certain witchy sister of John’s.
I chuckled at the thought that John had walked in on them, too. How horrible, yet hilarious would that have been?
The Nightwalkers Saga: Books 1 - 7 Page 63