“Yes.”
It sounds so simple when I hear Ellison’s version. I look foolish for not jumping at the opportunity. Except I know the real reason behind my hesitation. My sister doesn’t.
“Then I’m failing to see the problem.”
It’s not her fault she can’t see my issues. I’m not giving her the whole story. It wasn’t fair of me to expect good advice when I can’t even be honest about why the timing is wrong for me.
“I’m just nervous about it coming so soon in our marriage. I thought we’d have time for the two of us before a baby came along.”
“Better early than never. Because never is a really long time.”
The word never is a powerful one. It has no mercy. It’s stern and doesn’t sway. Ever. It means exactly what it says. It sort of brings the whole thing full circle in my head.
The doorbell rings. Shit. It’s not even eleven and Isobel is already here. She’s early.
I sprint for the door, opening it and motioning for my mother-in-law to come in. I flip the phone upside down so my mouth isn’t over the speaker. “I’m almost finished talking to Ellison. Just give me another minute.”
“No hurry. We have an hour until our appointments.”
That might be okay if I didn’t have to shower. That means I’ve gotta rush.
“Elli, tonight is the reception with Sin’s family so I’ve gotta run. I have a hair appointment.”
“I should be there,” she says.
True. Except I married into a band of criminals so she’ll never have a place among us. “I wish you could be.”
“Send pictures. Lots of them. Particularly any of Sin’s hot Scottish friends.”
“Will do. But you shouldn’t expect much. Sin is the best looking of the bunch.”
God, she’d turn stupid if she saw Jamie, Leith, or Mitch. There’s no way I can ever let her see them. If she did, she’d be on the first plane to Edinburgh—and Jamie fits her type perfectly. All he’d have to do is open his mouth, say one medical word, and she’d be a goner.
Can’t happen. Ever.
I end my call with Ellison and I’m in a mad rush to shower and get out the door in time for my appointment.
Good thing the salon is a spa as well and will be doing it all: massage, waxing, facial, nails, hair, and makeup. I won’t have to worry about a thing. Maybe I can get the IVF off my mind long enough to enjoy the pampering.
* * *
Isobel insisted Sin not see me until the reception. She’s sad she wasn’t a part of our marriage ceremony so she’s treating this black-tie affair with The Fellowship like a ceremony as much as possible. It seems silly since we’re already married. We’ve had our cake and eaten it too—many times—but it’s important to Sin’s mom, so I’ve agreed.
Lorna crouches down and spreads my dress on the floor. She clears a path from top to bottom so I can step inside. I put the first foot through it onto the floor and stumble. “No floundering around when there’s a gun strapped to your body.”
There was no way to hide it from them since they’re helping me dress.
Westlyn rushes to my side. “Hold my hand so you don’t tumble over.”
I manage to get both feet on the floor free and clear of the fabric.
“Up we go.” I slip my arms in and Lorna glides my zipper up.
“This dress is stunning. Blows Kate Middleton’s away.” Westlyn steps back and gives me a once-over. “It cost a fortune, didn’t it?”
It did but Isobel insisted it was worth every penny. “Don’t make me say that number aloud.”
“Only the best for our leader’s wife who will one day carry the next generation of Fellowship leaders.” Lorna’s tone is mocking. I think she’s making fun of my duty to “bear an heir.”
Westlyn studies me in my dress. “Your boobs look bigger. Are you already pregnant?”
“Definitely not. The push-up gets all the credit.”
I laugh but not at Westlyn’s question. I find this entire conversation amusing. I’m in the middle of female chitchat and I don’t hate it. There could be hope for me yet.
“Are you and Sinclair being pressured to have a baby?”
That’s a loaded question.
“Not really. Thane has mentioned it to Sin but that’s it as far as I know.”
“Be prepared. It’s coming.”
There’s a knock at the door, my husband’s voice on the other side. “Bonny. It’s time.”
“That’s our cue.” My two friends hug me quickly and disappear down the stairs.
I’m standing in the middle of the posh Breckenridge guest house when Sin comes in to see me for the first time. I’m wearing a real wedding dress for this event, one much different from what I wore at our wedding. This one is a long mermaid silhouette with a lace overlay and blingy belt. Elegant. Fitted. Sexy. I like the way it makes me feel. But even more, I love the way Sin looks at me when he sees me in it for the first time.
I do a turn, flaring the bottom as I spin. “Like it?”
He nods. “Aye. Very much. It’s lovely but not nearly as beautiful as you.”
I lift the skirt of my dress to show him my feet.
“Ah. The shoes.”
“Yes, and if you’re lucky, I might wear them—and nothing else—for you tonight.”
He takes my face in his hands and places a soft kiss to my lips before pressing his forehead to mine. “Thank you.”
I don’t know what he means. “For what?”
“For being my wife and partner for life.” He’s repeating the words from our wedding, with one exception. He leaves off the part about being the mother of his children but it’s still a reminder. Tonight marks the deadline. It’s been a week since we agreed to make the decision about the IVF. And time’s up.
“Mmm … I’d like nothing more than to lie you on that bed and unwrap you like the beautiful gift you are.”
“You can unwrap me later.”
“I certainly will.”
“Our guests are anxious to visit with the new Mrs. Breckenridge but they’ll need to wait a few minutes more. I have something special for you.”
Sin takes my hands and leads me to the bed. “Sit.”
My curiosity is stirred. “What are you doing?”
He doesn’t reply. Instead, he fetches his violin from the closet. He comes to me and goes down on one knee. It isn’t an easy task for him, which makes it even more special. “This is for you. A gift from my heart.”
Oh my God. I recognize the song within a few strokes of the bow. It’s “Amanda.” My mom’s song.
It makes one of the most beautiful violin covers I’ve ever heard. I love it. I don’t know why I haven’t thought of learning it.
“That was beautiful. I felt every note.”
“I learned it so I could teach you.”
“It’s the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you.”
He rises and takes my hand. “Come. It’s time for the brotherhood to meet my bride.”
Sin leads me down the staircase, holding my hand to ensure my safety. I’m grasping my dress, pulling up at the thigh. Because it’s long, the skirt is a trip hazard.
Once I’m safely on the first floor, I straighten and smooth my dress. “Good?”
“Perfect.”
It’s the wrong word to explain how I look. The word perfection should be saved for describing the celebration Isobel has planned. She’s outdone herself but I’d expect no less after the last event she put together for me.
It’s beyond amazing.
Tables are spread throughout the garden beneath three enormous white canopies. The underside of each is covered with a bazillion tiny lights, our own starlit sky. Huge lanterns hang throughout, emitting heat so the outdoor spaces are warm, despite the evening’s cold.
Each table is adorned with fine linens and tableware. No surprise there. And she’s made seat assignments. Thank God for that since I’m certain Isobel wouldn’t have put Abram anywhere
near me.
Enormous white floral arrangements adorn the centers of each table, surrounded by glowing candle lanterns. It screams magical winter wonderland. And it’s beyond beautiful.
A man I assume to be the ceremony’s emcee introduces us as we enter the center canopy. “It’s my pleasure to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair Breckenridge.”
I can’t even guess at how many people are present. It’s a lot, and all of them are clapping. The men in our path slap Sin on the back and murmur offers of congratulations as we proceed to our table. We’re seated at the largest one, front and center.
I’ve always felt Sin’s role within The Fellowship was comparable to that of a prince-in-waiting. I once mocked it. But that was before I became a part of his world. I couldn’t feel more like a queen than I do in this moment. And I love it. It’s nice to be so well received by his people.
Champagne in hand, Jamie leads the toasts. “On behalf of Sinclair and Bleu, I’d like to thank everyone for coming out on this bitter cold night to celebrate their marriage. Even all the ladies in tears who are heartbroken to see my friend no longer available for the taking.” The crowd laughs; I do as well.
“I have to tell you that I knew it was over for Sin the minute he laid eyes on Bleu. He thought he was so damn smart, keeping his feelings for her hidden from everyone, but I could see he was smitten by this American lass. I’ve never known my friend to be as happy and content as he was in Bleu’s presence. It never mattered to him if she was Fellowship or not. He was determined to make her his, no matter the cost. And it was a high one. He made the ultimate sacrifice so she could become one of us. And now she is by both initiation and marriage. I wish you both the best of luck and a life filled with health, happiness, and joy. I wish you many healthy babies and may they all take after their beautiful mother so none of them are as ugly as Sinclair.” The crowd erupts into laughter again and Jamie lifts his glass higher. “To my best friend Sinclair and his lovely wife, who shall now become my dear friend as well. May we all find love as precious as theirs.”
I’ve not spent much time with Jamie so his speech comes as a surprise. He lifts his drink in my direction and nods before tossing it back.
Leith is next at the mic, and I’m a little worried about what he might say. “Everyone knows Sin, Jamie, and myself have been best friends since we were bairns. We’ve spent twenty-six years sharing any and every thing, so I didn’t take well to being told to back off of Bleu.” Oh God. I think Leith is drunk. This is going to be bad.
I give Sin the look, the one that says “stop him before he makes an ass of himself and us.”
Sin shakes his head and returns his attention to his friend. He seems to have confidence in him. I don’t.
“It took a little while but I finally realized Sin put boundaries up around Bleu because he was in love with her. That’s the natural order of things when a man loves a woman. He doesn’t allow other men near her. Once I figured that out, a lot of things became very clear for me.”
“Sin is a liar, a cheater, and a thief.” Leith lifts his glass and my heart pounds. I thought I had sorted out where his speech was going but now I’m afraid I was wrong.
“Stop him,” I tell Sin.
Sin places his hand on my thigh. “He’s fine.”
“When he lies, may it be beside you. Or in a court of law so he may keep all you wankers out of the slammer.” The crowd breaks into laughter and I’m marginally relieved. But he isn’t finished.
“When he cheats, may it be death.” I hear what sounds like the murmurs of hundreds saying “aye” in unison. “Seems he already has that one down since he’s managed to dodge the grave twice now.” I hear more gleeful sounds but I still brace myself for what could come next.
Leith is full of lingering anger with Sin, and it has nothing to do with me. It may take a little digging but I fully intend on finding out what’s going on between them.
“When he steals, may it be your heart and your kisses. Or whatever is of value from The Order when the opportunity presents itself.”
The brotherhood bursts into cheers. I look at Sin and roll my eyes. I can’t believe Leith is turning his best man toast into jokes about lying in court and stealing from The Order.
Leith holds up his glass for what I think is a final statement. At least, I hope that’s what it is. He’s still making me nervous.
“The traditional toast says, ‘If you drink, drink deeply of the joy of your new life together.’ While we all wish that for our happy leader and his bride, I say to everyone: drink deeply tonight in honor of them. Congratulations, Sin and Bleu. May we all know love that will push us above and beyond any limits standing in the way.”
“Finally,” I say beneath my breath as I bring my champagne up for a drink.
Sin laughs while drinking to Leith’s toast. “Did you really think he would say something in poor taste?”
I heard the things Leith said to Sin in the ring the day they fought. There’s bad blood there. “I only know one thing. Never trust a drunk holding a mic.”
“Good point. But it’s done now and all is well.”
The toasts continue far too long. Everyone in the brotherhood wants to offer their congratulations and well wishes for our marriage … and future children. There are so many toasts, I’m on my way to drunkenness without intending it.
We’re nearing the last of the well-wishers when Sin puts his hand on my leg beneath the table. He leans over to whisper in my ear and his warm breath ignites chills down my body. “I can’t wait to get you home.”
He pulls away. He scans my face and leans back to take a look below the table. “What is that?”
“My Beretta.”
“You’re wearing a wedding dress with a gun strapped to your thigh?”
I shrug. “Almost every Fellowship member is gathered here. It would be crazy to not be prepared in case of an invasion.”
“My wife has a pistol hidden beneath her dress. That is fucking hot.”
“I might let you take it off me later.”
Sin removes his hand from my thigh and takes my hand. “Dance with me, Mrs. Breckenridge.”
I’ve been his wife going on two months and I still get chills when he calls me that. I hope it never stops.
We move to the dance floor and he takes me in his arms as we sway to the band’s rendition of “The Way You Look Tonight.”
“My husband is a very good dancer.” His movements are smooth despite his amputation.
The solitary dimple makes an appearance. “Only when I have the right partner.”
I follow Sin’s lead. “I’m not a great dancer but I feel like I am when I’m with you.”
“Everything we do in life is going to be great as long as we do it together.”
“I know.” I move closer and place my head against his chest.
I look forward to all the great things we’re going to do together. I love being a wife but I miss being a daughter and sister. It hurts every day. “I wish Dad and Ellison were here. And both of my moms. I miss all of them so much.”
“I know. I sometimes hear you cry when you’re alone for your soaks in the tub.”
He’s given me those moments to myself. I appreciate him granting me the distance I need. He is my husband but those private times remain very important. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being you.”
We dance but I’m preoccupied by one of the toasts a brother made. I’m hesitant to bring it up. I don’t want to put a damper on the good time we’re having but I can’t help myself. “Todd Cockburn’s toast was interesting.”
“How so?”
“He called me your Bleubird.”
“Purely coincidental.”
“It’s weird since that’s what my mother called me.”
“You crossed him off the list. He didn’t pan out.”
“I know.”
Sin stops moving. I immediately worry I’ve angered him by bringing up the
investigation during our wedding celebration.
“May I have this dance with my new niece?” Every hair stands on the back of my neck.
I don’t have to see him to know it’s Abram.
“It’s fine,” I say to Sin. He doesn’t look convinced so I nod.
Abram can’t hurt me for two reasons. First, I’m Fellowship, just as he is. I’m the wife of his future leader. Secondly, we’re in front of the entire brotherhood. But I’m no fool. I’m quite aware the latter is the only thing assuring my safety for the time being.
I don’t trust this man.
Abram takes my hand and leads me in a basic box step. Moving with him on the dance floor feels like dancing with the devil. “What do you want?”
“Nothing in particular. I just want to dance with my niece.”
“Bullshit.”
“Such a lady.”
“And you’re always such a gentlemen.”
“Westlyn tells me you’ve been doing a lot of socializing with the women since your return.”
“I don’t know them. I need to remedy that if I’m to be any kind of leader.”
“Stay away from my daughters.”
His voice oozes acid. Good. I think it could be a sign he actually cares for his girls.
I barely know Evanna but Westlyn is becoming a dear friend. I’ve never had that before so I don’t intend on giving up our friendship so easily. “Despite what you may believe about me, I’m not the enemy. I’m committed to The Fellowship and its well-being.”
“You’ll never convince me of that.”
I’m suddenly shoved from behind, sending my body crashing into the psychopath. He breaks my fall and reaches out to grab the arm of the culprit—a small girl playing chase with three other children. “Whoa. Slow it down there, toots. You wouldn’t want to knock your future leader’s wife onto her bum in her pretty dress.”
Toots. Toots? Toots! That’s what my mother’s killer called me before placing a pillow over my face.
It could be nothing. Or it could be something. Either way, I think I may be adding a new color of sticky note to my wall of suspects. One representing Abram Breckenridge.
The Sin Trilogy Bundle: A Necessary Sin, the Next Sin, One Last Sin Page 37