My doctor calls out, “Tilt her to her left side a little more and see if that helps.”
I feel the surgery bed beneath me move. “Try to calm down, Mrs. Breckenridge. Your surgery has started so we can’t allow you to sit up.”
Dammit. I haven’t had an attack in two months. Everything has been going so well. Why now? “Where’s my husband? I need my husband. Right now!”
“Hey. I’m here, Bonny.”
I hear his voice but I can’t see him yet. “Where are you? I can’t breathe, Breck.”
I lift my chin to look in the direction where I think I heard his voice. I’m relieved when I see him coming to me.
Sin notices the restraints around my wrists. “She has issues with her mobility being restricted. Is there any way we can take those off?”
“We can if it’s contributing to her problem.”
The Velcro wraps around my arms are removed and I immediately feel better.
“Inhale slowly and deeply. Blow it out gradually. Concentrate only on your breathing. Think about moving air in and out of your lungs.” He strokes my forehead with the back of his hand. “Own it, Bonny. You’re not a slave to it.”
“I can put you to sleep if it becomes too much for you, Mrs. Breckenridge.”
Going to sleep means I don’t get to see my babies when they are born. I don’t want that.
I reach out to touch Sin’s face. “I’ll be fine as long as my husband continues to talk to me.” Only he can soothe me.
“Close your eyes and visualize yourself breathing. In. Out. The mask you’re wearing is giving you more oxygen than you need. Breathe it in.”
My hysteria spirals downward. Sin’s voice always does that for me. “It’s getting better.”
“Good.”
Sin sits on a stool next to my head so I’m looking at him upside down. “You look weird.”
“Says the woman who is wearing a plastic mask over her face.”
“Right,” I laugh. “I’m sorry I freaked out.”
“Perfectly understandable.”
Dr. Kerr calls out, “Just made an incision into your uterus, Bleu. Won’t be long now.”
Sin kisses my forehead. “Only a few more minutes and we finally get to meet them.”
I’m trembling, almost violently.
“Nervous?” Sin asks.
Nervous doesn’t even begin to cover it. “Extremely.”
“Just broke the bag of waters on the first baby.” The room immediately fills with the sound of suctioning very similar to what you hear during dental work.
Oh my God. This is it. Our first child is about to make his or her entrance into this world.
Sin leans down to kiss the top of my head. “Boy or girl? Last chance to make a guess.”
I’ve been taking care of Lourdes so now it’s hard to imagine myself with a boy. “I think this one is a girl. What’s your guess?”
“Boy.”
A high-pitched cry fills the room. The most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.
Sin and I look at one another, grinning and waiting for the verdict. “Number one is a boy.”
Sin leans down to kiss my forehead. “I can’t believe it, Bonny. We have a son.”
A moment later our newborn is placed upon my chest. I stroke my hand over the top of his head. “Hello, Liam. We’ve been waiting for you for a long time.”
The nurses wipe him off and cover his head with a beanie before tucking him inside my hospital gown so we’re skin to skin.
I don’t get to admire him for long before a second cry pierces the room. I look at Sin. “Quick. Boy or girl?”
“I’m going with another boy. It’s what I’ve been saying for two months.”
“I’m sticking with girl.”
“I hear some guessing going on down there,” Dr. Kerr says.
“My husband says boy. I’m going with a girl.”
“Mr. Breckenridge has it right again. Another boy.”
Liam is scooted aside to make room for Harrison so both of my sons are lying against me, skin to skin. “Oh my God. I can’t believe how much hair they have. They must get that from you because I was almost bald until I was two.”
“I had a head full of dark hair, just like them.”
“I thought one might inherit Isobel’s hair.” When I imagined what our children would look like, I always saw one being a little red-haired girl.
It’s difficult to see their faces the way we’re positioned. “Do they look anything alike? I can’t tell from here.”
Sin gets up and looks back and forth between their two faces. “I think they do.”
“I’m going to send the placenta to pathology to confirm that they’re identical.”
Identical isn’t a possibility. “They’re in vitro babies. They have to be fraternal.”
“It’s possible only one embryo implanted and then split. That would result in identical twins. It’s unlikely, but not impossible. I should have an answer for you in a few weeks.”
Sin leans forward to study them. “Thank you for giving me not one, but two healthy sons. Two grandsons for my parents.” He leans close to my ear. “Two future leaders for The Fellowship. And two brothers for Lourdes.”
My heart pounds. “What are you saying?”
“What do you want me to be saying?”
“That we’re keeping her.”
“Then that’s exactly what I’m saying.”
I want to throw my arms around him but I can’t. They’re full of babies. “You are amazing. I love you so much. Thank you.”
I may be looking at him upside down but I recognize his expression. He presses his forehead to mine and together we whisper so softly that only we know and hear what we’re saying.
“Into me … you see.”
Epilogue
Bleu Breckenridge
“This was bound to happen. Three babies. Three nappies. I knew at least one of them would shite and need a changing before the ceremony.”
“Language, Sin.” We’ve had this conversation. They’re babies but they won’t always be. We must learn to control our tongues now so we don’t teach them to be cursing toddlers.
Sin holds Liam out to me. “Here, Mummy. Take your son. He stinks.”
I don’t even glance in Sin’s direction. He isn’t going to charm me into diaper duty with his dashing smile and lone dimple. “Then change him.”
Sin uses his baby voice and wags Liam as though he’s the one talking. “But, Mummy. You do it so much better than Dad.”
Cute. But not convincing. “Because I have far more practice. You always manage to sweet talk me into doing it so you don’t have to.”
“Can I sweet talk you into it this time?”
He’s still holding my sweet boy out for me but I’m not taking the bait. “No. I have to finish getting dressed.”
“I thought you had already gotten ready.”
This is rinse and repeat. “I did, but Harrison spit up all over me and my dress. I smelled like soured baby puke so I had to shower again.”
Raising three babies is so much more work than we could have imagined. But it brings us a joy we’ve never known. We couldn’t be happier.
“Then I guess I have no choice.” He sounds defeated.
“Good luck with that,” I call out as Sin leaves with Liam.
I know my husband. He’s going to find his mum. “Don’t even think about asking your mother to do it. She’s busy making sure everything is perfect for the ceremony.”
I’m entertained by what just played out. Finally, I get to laugh at Sin for a change.
Hell may have just frozen over. My entire family is ready on time. I’m glad because today is a very special event for my children. Consecration day.
All Fellowship children are formally dedicated to the brotherhood, but our children’s ceremony will be much different since they were born to a leader. Sin and I must vow to nurture them in all ways Fellowship. We will pledge to teach them how to one day lead
our people. It’s a huge undertaking, the same one Sin’s parents took and his grandparents before them.
Isobel and her event planner have struck again. Our home looks worthy of any king’s coronation. Our backyard is overrun with dozens of tables, each covered by a cream tablecloth and enormous floral arrangements in varying shades of salmon and lime. Elegant chic baby is the theme. That’s what the event planner calls it. It’s gorgeous.
Parents gather their children when we take our place on the rostrum with Thane. “Today is very special for The Fellowship. It’s been twenty-one years since an infant was consecrated into our brotherhood.” He’s referring to Cara’s ceremony.
“Sinclair and Bleu have been ardent in their duties to produce future leaders for our brotherhood since they are bringing forth three children.” That earns a laugh from the crowd.
Thane motions for us to come forward before taking Liam from me. “What name is given this child?”
“Liam Thane Breckenridge,” Sin says.
“Liam Thane Breckenridge is Sinclair and Bleu’s child. But today he becomes our child as well. This covenant reflects a solemn, symbolic act on the part of his parents to rear him in the nurture and admonition of The Fellowship. Do you accept this responsibility?”
Sin and I say the words together. “We do.”
We pledge the same vows for Harrison MacAllister and Lourdes Elizabeth.
It’s done. All three of our children have officially been dedicated to The Fellowship.
With the formalities behind us, Westlyn, Lorna, and Ellison take over temporary care of my wee ones. My hands are empty. It’s a rare moment so I’m not sure what I should do with myself.
Sin comes up behind me and slips his hands around my waist. I’m still a little self-conscious about the stubborn bulge that hasn’t gone away. “Dance with me, Mrs. Breckenridge.”
He leads me on to the dance floor and pulls me against him. The band is playing their rendition of “Blessed” by Elton John.
The songs were chosen by the event planner with the idea of maintaining consistency with the ceremony’s baby theme.
Sin brings our clasped hands to his mouth so he can kiss the top of my hand. It never gets old. “I’m blessed with everything I didn’t know I wanted or needed. I have it all––a beautiful wife I love. A precious daughter who already wraps me around her tiny finger. Two sons who will one day make me proud by taking my place as leaders to our people. What else could I possibly ask for?”
I can hardly recall the person I was before Sin and our babies. I was dead inside, filled only with hate and thirst for revenge. But then hate met love. My desire for vengeance became a longing to love. And be loved.
Sunshine meets rain and makes a beautiful thing. The same can be said about me meeting Sin. I was in the dark. Our love illuminated my world with its light. And together we have made beautiful things.
The End
Excerpt: Indulge
A steamy standalone novel from Georgia Cates
Beau Emerson is no gentleman.
Those hazel eyes.
That filthy mouth.
That greedy, hard body.
It all equates to one thing. Irresistible.
One look and I know he’ll bruise my lips and scar my knees. He’ll give me the best nine days of my life while ruining me in the most beautiful way imaginable. And I’ll let him because he has the power to talk me into anything.
Except one thing.
Staying.
I have no choice. The things I desire from him will destroy me in the end. I want more than he’s capable of giving––something true and beautiful.
He can never know how much of me belongs to him. Too much is at stake.
Shh … don’t tell him he’s my everything.
My name is Anna James Bennett. And this is our story.
Prologue
Anna James Bennett
I sigh as I toss the thick legal envelope across the island in Meredith’s gourmet kitchen. The proof of my marriage’s dissolution barely comes to a stop before plummeting over the edge. “It’s final, as of today.”
My best friend, Meredith, squeals. “Yes. This calls for a celebratory drink.”
The word celebratory implies happiness or joy. That isn’t the case for me. My husband of twelve months left me for a nineteen-year-old. A kid. His former student.
Fucker.
He swears nothing happened while she was his pupil.
Liar.
He claims it’s true love.
Dumbass.
Drake’s relationship with Caitlyn is fleeting. She’s an immature teen who wants to play house. The paint won’t dry on the walls of their new apartment before she’s ready to bail.
“I’ve been saving this one for a special occasion.” Ahh. A bottle of Wittmann Westhofener Morstein Riesling. Always rich in body and texture. My favorite.
Gulp. Gulp. The bottle gurgles as Meredith pours far more than three ounces. My glass is three-quarters full when she presses two fingers against the base and glides it across the sleek Carrara marble toward me. I instantly salivate when the essence of honey, peach, mango, and flowers invades my nostrils.
Meredith lifts her glass, cueing me to the toast she’s about to make. “Here’s to the end of an error––your misconception that Drake Langston was a knight in shining armor rather than what he really is—a turd in tinfoil.”
“I know that’s the truth.” I tap my glass against hers before taking the first sip of dry, fruity goodness. Damn, that’s good stuff.
“Capone made sure you got everything you wanted?”
Alec Capone is the most successful divorce attorney in Georgia. He should be with a name like that. “I got more than I wanted, including custody of Little Bastard, since Drake relinquished ownership of him. Caitlyn’s allergic.” I’m epically pissed off about him dumping his cat on me.
“Are you keeping the lil’ guy?”
“I haven’t decided.” Kermit, aka Little Bastard, has no love for me. Doesn’t matter that I’ve been the one who has fed him his every bite, changed his litter box every time, taken him to the vet for every visit, even the time he was deathly ill from eating part of my foam flip-flop.
“You won’t have a problem if you decide to rehome him. He’s beautiful. Plenty of cat lovers would take him just because he’s a Bengal.”
Kermit was Drake’s trophy cat. Pretty to look at and that’s about it. Much like Caitlyn.
I have no emotional connection to Little Bastard. I’ve tried to bond, but he’s resistant. That’s why I’m so surprised by the way I feel when I think of giving him away. He’s resistant to loving me. Just like Drake.
“I got my name back.” That’s what I wanted most. Bennett. My daddy’s name.
The wrinkle in Meredith’s brow serves as a warning. It’s always a prelude to something serious. “I understand those papers feel like a painful ending, but that’s because they’re disguising what today is. A new beginning. Grayson and I think it’s important for you to treat this as a fresh start.”
Meredith disappears into the dining room and returns with a gift bag covered in curly ribbon and filled with tissue paper.
“Your divorce gift. Read the card first.”
I open the envelope and read the message aloud. “Congratulations on your divorce. We hated him.”
“No secret there.” I already knew Meredith and Grayson despised Drake.
I rip into the bag, tossing aqua and lime tissue paper in every direction. I’m worse than a child when it comes to tearing into gifts.
I take out each item and place it on the countertop. Sunscreen. Ray-Bans. The ridiculously expensive bikini I lusted for at that expensive boutique in Buckhead. And condoms.
“Sur . . . prise. Grayson and I are taking you to Jamaica with us next month.”
Umm . . . not just no. “Forget it. Not happening.”
“Oh, it’s happening. We’ve already booked two suites and your airline ticket. First
class.”
She’s out of her mind. I’m not going to that place. “Cancel one. Unless you and Grayson plan to use separate suites.”
“Can’t cancel. It’s Wicked Week at the resort so both rooms had to be paid for in full. Nonrefundable.”
This is her way of guilting me into doing what she wants. She thinks I’ll say yes if her money won’t be returned. “You’re so wrong for doing this to me.”
“You need a getaway, and we knew you’d never agree otherwise. Don’t be mad.”
I’m not mad. I’m pissed. I’ve already made plans for the next three months. “I’m taking a second job while school’s out for summer. There’s no way an employer will give me vacation time four weeks after hiring me.”
“Maybe not, unless your bosses are Meredith and Grayson Faulkner. Come to work for us, and we’ll guarantee you the time off. There won’t be a reason in the world you can’t go.”
Right. No reason in the world unless you consider the fact this all-expenses-paid vacation is for a getaway at a hedonism resort. A freaking no-holds-barred sex retreat.
I’m neither a hedonist nor a swinger.
Meredith Faulkner has been my best friend since ninth grade. We’ve been through thick and thin. There’s nothing she and I haven’t shared, apart from one huge exception.
Meredith and Grayson practice hedonism. They chase pleasure in any form it presents. They’re also part of a local community known to many as the lifestyle. They’re swingers. Wife Swappers.
Whatever floats their boat is fine by me. I don’t judge. But hedonism and swinging ain’t my thang. I’m not into casual sex. I prefer intimacy with a man I love, and always within the boundaries of a committed relationship.
Call me old-fashioned but I need more than a physical connection. A quick fuck with a person I’ve just met isn’t my cup of tea. Neither is having sex with someone else while my husband watches. Or the other way around.
The Sin Trilogy Bundle: A Necessary Sin, the Next Sin, One Last Sin Page 92