by James Blish
Miranda appeared at his elbow. "I'll go with you," she said.
"No."
"I must, Captain. I can reach his mind."
After a moment, he nodded.
In the corridor outside Engineering, two Security guards were trying to open the door. "He's jammed it, Captain," one said. "But with another good pull . . ."
It opened. Marvick, at the controls, was manipulating them easily and skillfully. But his dementia was unmistakable. Moans of genuine anguish were followed by seizures of uncontrollable giggles. When he saw Kirk standing quietly beside him, he chuckled. "Don't worry, Kirk. We'll be safe soon. Over the boundaries of the universe. We can hide there . . ."
Kirk made a grab for the controls and Sulu's voice said, "Warp speed nine point five and accelerating, Captain."
Marvick had lashed out at Kirk with a thick metal tool. The guards closed in on him, pinning his furiously flailing arms behind his back. Scott, crawling to his feet, was moving groggily toward the controls when the ship broke out of the galaxy. In a flash of searing light, the shapes of people, instruments—everything—dissolved into nameless colors, confused and changing. A roar so deafening it lost the quality of sound hammered at the trembling Enterprise. The ship stopped, hanging suspended in a space of alien colors.
Kirk had been flung across the deck. As the roar diminished, he got slowly to his feet. Marvick, still held tight by the guards, was whispering, "We're safe. We made it. We're safe, Kirk. We made it over the boundaries of the galaxy."
McCoy was on his knees. Kirk nodded to him. Bones hauled himself up and, opening his medikit, stepped behind Marvick. But the hypo's needle had barely touched him when he made a lunge that almost broke the guards' hold.
Kirk said, "Marvick, it will help you sleep."
The tortured creature shrieked. "No! No! We mustn't sleep! Never! Never again. No sleep! Never! They come into your dreams. Then they can suffocate you! No sleep—no dreams. No! No!"
Kirk went to him. "All right, Larry. No sleep. No dreams. Just come with me. I have a better biding place for you. I'll take you to it. Come . . ."
Marvick made another break for the controls. "We must be ready to speed, Kirk! Speed! Speed on to the next galaxy. Away from here! Away!"
The wildly roving eyes caught sight of Miranda. Marvick tore his arms free and stretched them out to her. Then he collapsed. Kirk nodded to the guards, who released him. Supporting the limp body in his own arms, Kirk saw that Marvick's eyes had filled with tears. "Miranda . . . Miranda," he was whispering. "You . . . are here . . . with me . . ."
Kirk carried him to a bench. The girl came to kneel beside Marvick. "Yes, Larry," she said. "I am here."
The madman cupped her face in his hands. "I didn't lose you. My beautiful love. I thought I . . . had lost you."
"I am here, Larry."
For the first time, Kirk saw the depth of Marvick's love. The tears were wet on the man's face and his body was trembling. Miranda looked up at Kirk. "I see what he sees," she said and, turning back to Marvick, spoke softly. "Don't, Larry. Don't think of what you saw. Don't think of it . . ."
He uttered a scream of pain, pushing her away. "Liar! Deceiver! You're not alone! He's here! He's here! You brought him with you!"
The jealous hate rose in him again. He caught the girl by the throat. The Security guards moved quickly to help Kirk loosen his clutch. This time McCoy was fast with his hypo.
Kirk lifted Miranda in his arms. Watching them, Marvick spoke quietly. "Do not love her. She will kill you if you love her. Do not love her."
Kirk looked down at the woman in his arms, the warning in his ears. He carried her to the door when the dying man behind him called, "I love you, Miranda . . ."
"Where are we, Mr. Spock?"
The bridge viewing screen showed only tangles of those alien, nameless, ever-changing colors. Spock lifted his head from hard work at his library computer. "Far outside our own galaxy, Captain, judging from the lack of any traceable reference points."
"What you mean is we're nowhere," Chekov said.
Nowhere. Kirk moved restlessly in his command chair as McCoy, a paper in his hand, came out of the elevator.
"May I interrupt, Jim?"
"Yes, Bones."
"I've got the autopsy on Marvick. Heart stopped: cause unknown. Brain activity stopped: cause unknown . . . Shall I go on?"
"You mean he simply died?"
"I mean he evidently couldn't live with what he saw." Kirk looked unseeingly at the screen. "Or with what he felt." Remembering the mad eyes dripping tears, Kirk sighed. Nowhere. But back to business just the same. He turned to Scott. "How much damage to the engines, Scotty?"
"We'll need some repairs, sir, but the ship is basically intact."
"Mr. Spock, can you at least give us a position report?"
"Impossible to calculate, Captain. We lack data to analyze. Our instruments seem to function normally but what they tell us makes no sense." He paused. "Our records are reasonably clear up to the point at which we left our galaxy."
"We should be able to navigate back."
"We have no reference points to use in plotting a return course, Captain. We experienced extreme sensory distortion; and will do so again if we try to use warp speed. Nor can we recross the barrier at sublight speed."
"A madman got us into this and it's beginning to look as if only a madman can get us out."
"An entertaining suggestion, Mr. Chekov," Spock said. "Unhelpful, however."
Kirk rose and went to Spock. "The Medeusans have developed interstellar navigation to a fine art. Could Kollos function as a navigator in spite of the sensory distortion?"
"Very possibly, sir. The Medeusan's sensory system is radically different from ours. Perhaps, for the purpose of this emergency, I could become Kollos. And he become Spock."
"Explain."
"A fusion, Captain. A mind-link to create a double entity. Each of us will possess the knowledge and capabilities of both. We will function as one being."
"What are the hazards?"
"If the link is successful, there'll be a tendency to lose separate identity. It is a necessary risk." He hesitated, his eyes on Kirk's. "Of course, the lady will not want to give me permission to establish the link."
"I don't think she'd want anyone to intrude on the kind of rapport she has with Kollos," McCoy said.
"Dr. Jones," Spock said, "has shown reluctance whenever I have asked to converse with Kollos. In some ways she is still most human, Captain. Particularly in the vigor of her jealousy and her thirst for power."
Kirk didn't speak, and Spock went on. "Her telepathic powers are also formidable. If it is at all possible, her mind must be so engaged that no other thoughts will intrude on it."
"I think that can be arranged," Kirk said.
McCoy looked at him. "Jim, don't take this lightly. She's extremely sensitive. If you try to be devious with her, she'll know."
"Bones, I know what's at stake. I have no intention of playing games with Miranda."
He turned on his heel and left the bridge.
The Starship's herbarium was odorous with the mingled scents of flowers.
Kirk released Miranda's arm. "I may be sentimental, but this is my favorite room. It reminds me of Earth."
"I've never been to Earth. But what lovely flowers! May I touch them, Captain?"
He smiled at her. "Go ahead."
She moved down the path, stopping to stroke a velvety petal, a leaf. Watching her, Kirk thought: She's a blossom herself. But a spray of butterfly orchids disappointed her. "They have no scent," she complained, turning to Kirk.
"Try these."
They were roses, white, yellow, pale pink, some nearly black. She plunged her face into them, inhaling their perfume with delight. Suddenly she cried out, pulled away and with a grimace of pain put her hurt finger to her mouth.
Kirk took her hand. "Let me see . . ."
"It was just a thorn," she said hastily, removing the hand. Kirk
recovered it. Gently, he rubbed her finger. "I was hoping to make you forget about thorns today," he said.
"It doesn't hurt anymore."
"You mustn't blame yourself," he said, "because Marvick loved you."
Her abrupt ferocity startled him. "I don't! I didn't want his love! I couldn't return it—and I had no use for it!"
Kirk spoke slowly. "Surely, sooner or later you will want human love—a man to companion you."
She pushed aside a strand of silver-blond hair. "Shall I tell you what human companionship means to me? A battle! Defense against others' emotions! When I'm tired and my guard slips, their feelings burst in on me like a storm. Hatred, desire, envy, pity—pity's the worst of all! I agree with the Vulcans. Violent emotion is a kind of insanity."
"So you will spend the rest of your life with Medeusans to avoid human feelings?"
"Perhaps."
"A meeting of minds isn't enough. What are you going to do for love hunger, Miranda?"
She turned her back on him. "You will never understand me. I don't think you should try, Captain."
He pulled her around to face him. "Look. You are young, human. No matter how beautiful the Medeusans' minds are, they are alien to yours! You'll yearn for the sight and sound of a human like yourself—arid weary of ugliness!"
The black-lashed eyes blazed. "Ugly! What is ugly? You have never seen Kollos! Who are you to say whether he is too ugly to bear or too beautiful to bear?"
"I did not mean to insult you. Please, Miranda . . ."
As she ripped a leaf from the rosebush beside her, Spock was striding down the corridor to Kollos's cabin.
Kirk wasn't a man to be fazed by female tantrums. He picked up the leaf she'd flung down. "Well," he said, "we can agree upon one thing, anyway. We both like roses. I wish I had moonlight for you, too: I'd like to see what moonlight would do to that hair of yours." He reached for her but she evaded him with a little laugh.
"I see you're a very complicated man, Captain."
He had her, unresisting, in his arms. "Play fair," he whispered into the ear on his shoulder. "You're not supposed to know what I'm thinking about. I'm supposed to show you."
He felt her stiffen. She released herself with a surprising strength. "He's with Kollos!" she cried. "Oh no, you mustn't let him do it!" She turned and ran down the path. He caught her. "Miranda! You can't leave just as . . ."
She tore herself free. "Let me go! You don't realize! You don't know what a dangerous thing Spock is planning! Please, please, we must stop him!"
Kirk followed her at a run.
Spock was standing at the door of the Medeusan's quarters. He turned as they burst out of the elevator. Miranda tried to shove him aside. Grave, entirely composed, he looked at her. "The Enterprise is at stake, Dr. Jones. It is not possible for you to be involved."
"Why? I've already committed myself to mind-link with Kollos!" She whirled to Kirk. "Why do you allow him to place himself in jeopardy?"
"Mine is a duty you cannot assume," Spock said. "The vital factor to be considered is not telepathic competence. It is to pilot this ship. That is something you cannot do."
"Then teach me to pilot it! I can memorize instantly. Set any test you choose. After only one rehearsal, I shall be able to operate all the machinery on this vessel!"
McCoy had hurried out of the elevator. He rushed to the group, shouting, "Wait a minute!" He looked at the girl—and made his decision. "Miranda, I know you can do almost anything a sighted person can do—but you cannot pilot a Starship!"
She shrank back, stricken.
"What?" Kirk said.
"I'm sorry," McCoy said. "But the occasion calls for realism. You are blind, Miranda. And there are some things you just can't do."
Spock was eyeing the silvery embroidery on her sleeve. "Ah," he said. "A highly sophisticated sensor web. My compliments to your dressmaker, Dr. Jones."
The enigma unraveled for Kirk. She was safe with Kollos because she couldn't see him.
"I think I understand now," he said. "I know now why pity is the worst of all, Miranda."
She flung her head high. "Pity which I do not deserve! Do you gather more information with your eyes than I do with my sensors? I could play tennis with you, Captain! I might even beat you. I am standing here exactly one meter and four centimeters from the door! Can you judge distance that accurately?"
"That won't be necessary," Kirk said gently. "Spock will make the mind-link. For your sake as well as ours."
"No! I won't let you do this!"
McCoy said, "I appeal to you as a colleague, Dr. Jones—don't fight us like this."
"No!"
"If none of us can persuade you, there is someone who can." Kirk used his command voice. "You will take this matter up with Ambassador Kollos."
She glared at him. Jerking open the cabin door, she entered and slammed it behind her.
Kirk eyed McCoy. "Why didn't you tell me, Bones?"
"She'd have told you herself if she'd wanted you to know. I respect her privacy."
"There's a great deal about this particular lady to resp—" Kirk stopped at the sound of a broken cry from the cabin. Unshamed tears streaming down her face, Miranda opened its door. McCoy started to her, but thinking better of it, waited for her to make the first move. It was to drag an arm across her tear-wet face. In the gesture was a childlike quality that went straight to Kirk's heart.
Still sobbing, she said, "It . . . seems that I have no choice . . . but to obey you."
The habitat had been removed to the bridge. A rigid metal screen hid it from all eyes but Spock's; and his were vizored. People barely breathed. Even the ship seemed to hold her breath. The sole sound was the quiet, majestic rhythm of Kollos's life support system. Alone with the black box behind the screen, Spock knelt and lifted the lid. The pure blue light flooded his face.
Hands pressed against the surface of the box, he leaned forward until his temples touched it. He backed away, gasping, eyes closed behind the vizor, his forehead beaded with sweat. A shudder shook him. Then, resolutely, he opened his eyes, inviting the light again.
Kirk's hands were wet. Still as cats, McCoy and Sulu waited. Chekov, at Spock's station, moved no buttons. Next to him, Uhura buried her face in her hands.
Somebody whispered, "Mr. Spock . . ."
Spock had stepped from behind .the screen, pulling off the vizor. He looked relaxed, younger. And when he spoke, his voice was younger, warm and tender.
"How delightful to see you again!" he said. "I know you, all of you! James' Kirk, my Captain and dear friend for years . . ."
He took a step toward Kirk, looking around him with interest. "And Leonard McCoy, another friend. And Uhura, whose name means freedom! Uhura who walks in beauty like the night . . ."
The shocked McCoy cried, "That can't be Spock!"
Cool and precise, Spock said, "Does it surprise you that I've read Byron, Doctor?"
"That's Spock!" McCoy said.
A mind-link to create a double entity. Those had been Spock's own words. "Am I . . . addressing the Medeusan Ambassador?" Kirk asked.
A radiant smile lit Spock's face. "In part—that is, that part of us that is known to you as Kollos. Where is Miranda? Ah, there you are! O, brave new world that boasts such beauty in it!"
She spoke harshly. "Tis new to thee, Mr. Spock."
His tone was that of a lover. "My world is next for you and me."
Kirk couldn't decipher the expression on her face, but she seemed to feel a need to hold herself under rigid control. But Spock's face was alive with such a naked tenderness that Kirk averted his eyes from it. The girl edged over to McCoy and Spock advanced to the command chair.
"Captain Kirk, I speak for all of us you call Medeusans.
I am sorry for the trouble I have brought to your ship."
"We can't hold you to blame for what happened, Ambassador. Thank you for helping us now."
The smile vanished. Spock was back, efficient, composed. "Now to the busines
s at hand. With your permission, Captain?"
Kirk said, "Mr. Sulu, release the helm to Mr. Spock, please."
"Aye, sir."
At Sulu's console, Spock made rapid adjustments of switches. "Coordination is completed, Captain."
"Go ahead, then, Mr. Spock."
The engines began to throb again. "Warp factor one in six seconds," Spock said. "Five seconds . . ."
The ship was picking up speed. "Two seconds. One. Zero . . ."
The searing light inundated the bridge. The great roar hammered. Bolt upright at the helm, Spock took the Enterprise back into its galaxy. "Position report, Mr. Chekov," he called.
Chekov's eyes were agog with admiration. "Bull's eye, Mr. Spock! Our position is so close to the point where we entered the void that the difference isn't worth mentioning!"
"That completes the maneuver, Captain," Spock said.
"Take over, Mr. Sulu."
As Spock vacated the helm, Kirk got to his feet. "Thank you, Ambassador. And now, Mr. Chekov, let's get her back on course."
Spock, flexing a hand, was intently examining it. The radiance shone in his face. "How compact your bodies are! And what a variety of senses you have! This thing you call language—it's most remarkable. You depend on it for so much. But is any of you really its master?" A look of infinite compassion came into his face. "But the aloneness. You are all so alone. How sad that you must live out your lives in this shell of flesh, contained and separate—how lonely you are, how lonely . . ."
A warning bell sounded in Kirk's memory. The risk of the fusion was loss of separate identity. He turned in his chair. "Ambassador. It is time to dissolve the mind-link."
Who had answered him—Spock or Kollos? Kirk couldn't tell. But the words seemed to come from a great distance.
"So soon?"
Kirk got to his feet. "You must not delay."
"You are wise, Captain."
With a debonair wave of the hand, Spock crossed to the metal screen, disappearing behind it. Miranda slipped after him to stand near the screen, her face concentrated, unreadable.
Uhura spoke. "Captain, Starfleet is calling."
"Audio, Lieutenant."
A radio voice cried, "Enterprise! Where have you people been?"