He took the jersey away from Maria and looped it over head to rest gently around her neck, pulled her to him, and planted a long lazy kiss on her lips. He let out a dramatic sigh before glancing back over his shoulder and winking at Charity. “Now that’s the best kiss you will ever see. I told you. I’m the best kisser in Hollywood.”
Charity laughed at the two of them. “And I told you that you’re not in Hollywood. Maria. When you get him back to the hotel, why don’t you give him some geography lessons?”
Maria wrapped her arms around her husband’s waist. “I’ll be giving him lessons alright, but they won’t be geography.”
Charity blushed and began backing away. “Okay guys. Enough said. In fact, way too much. I’m heading to the hotel. I will see you in the morning.”
David rubbed his cheek against Maria’s before saying, “When you find Johnny, if you need me to help you explain what happened today, just let me know?”
Maria looked confused. “Why? What’s happened?”
David shrugged. “We’re not really sure, but when Johnny showed up on the set today, he came in while I was working with Charity on the scene where we were supposed to have our first kiss. He left right after seeing me trying to teach Charity how to do the kissing scene. It was just a big misunderstanding, and they can have a big laugh over it when she gets back to their room tonight.”
Maria didn’t look as convinced as her husband did. “I’m sure David’s right, but you do have our number if you need for us to come over and explain everything.”
Charity waved goodnight. “Thanks guys, but I’m certain it was nothing to be concerned about. Have a good night, and David, don’t forget my ten bucks. I think I’ll use that to buy me and Johnny some breakfast in the morning.”
Before Charity could take another step David laughed and said, “Don’t you forget my ten bucks! I want waffles for breakfast!”
Charity gave a backward glance at the laughing couple as she walked away. David winked and then pulled Maria back into his arms for another huge kiss. With one last glance over her shoulder, Charity enjoyed the pleasant sight of such true happiness. The sight made her long for Johnny even more. She desperately needed to see him and as quickly as she could manage. Knowing he was upset by what he thought he’d seen was tearing her up inside. Concentrating on her work had been almost unbearable. The car ride back to the hotel was longer than usual. Judy had left earlier in the day to pack up her belongings. She was going to leave the next morning for Tennessee. Once Charity had Judy convinced she didn’t have to feel bad about wanting to return to Tennessee, she had turned into a giddy school girl. Whenever there had been any free time she had insisted they spend as much of it together as possible. They had browsed almost every shoe store and boutique in Dallas. That night Judy had plans to go out again, just to make certain she hadn’t missed any of the stores. After that, she was going to the theatre with a couple of the ladies she had become chummy with on the set. Charity was almost certain her mother’s plans were designed to give her and Johnny some alone time.
When Charity finally made it back to the hotel suite, it was dark and unwelcoming. She tried not to panic as she searched around on the wall for the light switch. Surely Johnny hadn’t flown back to Tennessee without giving her the chance to explain why she and David were kissing at the studio without anyone else around. She let out a pent up breath when the lights came on and she saw Johnny was sitting on the sofa. Instead of being happy to see her after being apart for so many months, he didn’t even acknowledge her arrival. He was staring off into space at someplace off on the other side of the room and seemingly at nothing. A hint of her earlier misgivings returned when she smiled and he didn’t return it. “Johnny?”
He didn’t respond so she walked over and sat on the opposite sofa. His face was drained of all color and there was a sheen of perspiration covering it. “Johnny, what is wrong?” He didn’t answer and looked down at his hands instead.
Charity leaned forward and touched one of his hands. “Is this about me kissing David? We were just trying to get our next scene right. I would never cheat on you. I thought you knew me better than to ever think something like that.”
When he finally met her eyes, she was shocked to see tears. She stood, then knelt down between his feet. She took his hands into hers. “What’s wrong?”
He didn’t say anything, just caressed her hair before pulling away from her and standing up. There was a deep flush that spread across his face and neck. His voice was low, barely audible in the deadly silence of the room. “I don’t even know where to start.”
Charity watched him pace from her position on the floor until it looked as if he wasn’t going to say anything any time soon. She finally moved to sit on the sofa again. She couldn’t look at him without her heart pounding so hard it made it impossible for her to think or breathe. She finally pulled herself together enough to say, “Why don’t you start at the beginning?”
He looked as if he wanted to be anywhere other than in the same room with her. She couldn’t remember another time he had ever been so unsure or uncomfortable. He was always so calm and self-assured. It was one of the things she loved so much about him. She had a dreadful feeling her world was never going to be the same again when he did find the words to tell her what was troubling him so much.
Johnny finally stopped pacing and sat down across from her again on the sofa. After a couple of seconds, he wiped his palms on the legs of his jeans, leaned forward, and pulled her hands into his.
Her terror held her still and silent.
His dark brown eyes appeared to plead for her understanding. “I don’t know another way to say this, but straight out. Cindy’s pregnant.”
Charity almost laughed out loud. What did that have to do with them? But she stopped just in time as she saw deeper into Johnny’s eyes, and realized the truth. She tried to pull her hands out of his, but he held fast.
He held on, as if that would be enough to keep her heart from shattering into a million different pieces. “I need to finish.”
It would have been so easy to storm out and not listen. She didn’t want to hear what he had to say now. She wanted to cover her ears with her hands and close her eyes. She could pretend he was still just sitting in front of her, getting ready to tell her anything else but something that would break her heart. She let out an anguished whisper. “What have you done to us?”
It was only then he let her hands go. He looked away as if no longer able to look her in the eyes. “I can’t make this better, but you have to understand that I wasn’t thinking straight when this happened. You remember the night Cindy drove me home? You told me to call her a cab. We never called a cab. She started crying, telling me how much she loved me and wanted me. She talked about how you didn’t deserve me, because you couldn’t even hang around a month after we got married. I didn’t want to listen. I knew it was all a lie, but my feelings were hurt over that article. It was surprisingly easy to make the biggest mistake of my life.” Johnny wiped a tear from the corner of his eye.
Charity watched in stunned silence as his huge hand complete the anguished action.
He lifted his chin and made eye contact with her. “I don’t want to make excuses. I knew right up front it was wrong, but I went right ahead. I’ve destroyed both of our lives. Cindy told me three weeks ago about the baby. I have been going crazy ever since trying to figure out what I should do. I finally understood there was no way to fix it. I know you. You’ll forgive me because that’s just the kind of person you are. You’re kind and have the biggest heart of anyone I know. The truth is, while you may forgive me, there’s no way you’re ever going to forget what I have done. I know we’ll never be the same again. I love you too much to watch your love for me die.”
Charity managed to pull her hands free. She stood. Her voice trembled as she spoke. “I don’t understand.”
She rubbed her forehead as if she could magically produce the answer. “I asked you to come wi
th me. If you were so unsure about us, why didn’t you come? If you couldn’t do that, then why didn’t you ask me to stay? I would have stayed. I would have even come back home, if you had even hinted you needed me to. Why didn’t you? I would have.” Tears ran down her cheeks and her heart ached more than she’d ever dreamed possible.
Johnny shook his head. “I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t stop you from living your dream. You would have hated me if I had. Don’t you see how much you would have hated me?”
Charity’s heart was pounding hard against her chest. “So how is what I’m feeling now any better?”
She ran her hands through her hair, as if she was to going to pull it out. She finally sat down and tried to calm herself. She was thinking that they were two reasonable people and could somehow figure this out. “So what do we do now?”
Johnny shifted his eyes away from her piercing gaze. Her heart beat faster when she saw his eyes avoid hers.
His voice quivered as he blurted out, “I want a divorce.”
Charity balled her fists into her lap, as she did so, she saw her wedding band. It was so new that it gleamed in the light from the desk lamp. The symbolism of it mocked her. “Why? Don’t you think we can work through this? I haven’t even had time to know what I’m even thinking, and you ask for a divorce. Why?”
He chewed on his bottom lip, and looked at his feet as he tried to put his thoughts together. His eyes finally looked up into hers. “Cindy needs me. I can’t leave her to raise our baby alone. I didn’t expect this or want this, but I’m not walking away from my own child. You know me better than that.”
Charity returned his intense stare. “I don’t know you at all. I thought I did, but I guess I was wrong about the man I thought you were. If you can come in here, tell me all in the same breath that you have betrayed our wedding vows, and now you want to completely break this marriage up. How many years did we plan our marriage? What was it all for?”
Johnny leaned forward as if to take her hands again but instead gripped his knees until his knuckles turned white. He took in a deep breath and then released it slowly. His face was flushed and there were beads of sweat across his forehead. “My heart’s breaking. It has been, ever since I realized just how much you were going to hate me after I told you what I did. The truth is, you can’t hate me any more than I hate me.” It was only after saying that, he finally reached over and placed a hand over hers. “I’ll never think our marriage was a mistake. You are all I ever wanted. I know it doesn’t seem that way now but you are the love of my life.”
Charity took his hand into hers. “Then let’s give it a chance. Doesn’t it deserve a chance?”
He pulled his hand out of hers and scooted backwards as if he needed to put some distance between them. He squared his shoulders. “Please don’t ask me to choose between you and my baby.”
Charity couldn’t stop from leaning toward him. A dark panic was curling from the pit of her stomach upwards until it was almost cutting off her airway. She painfully forced out, “I’m not asking you to choose. I’m only asking for you to give us more time to try and figure this out. I don’t understand why there has to be an either or. Just give us a chance.”
He stood and shook his head. It was easy to see from his expression, his mind was made up and nothing she said was ever going to change it. Charity looked back down at her wedding band, and reluctantly took it off. She placed it on the table next to the sofa. “Okay. If you want a divorce, I’ll give you one. I won’t stand in the way of you taking care of your baby.”
Johnny bowed his head. Defeat seemed to ooze from every single pore. He made a move to leave but stopped, turned to face her again. “Charity, we have had a lot of years together. When you remember me, try and remember the good times, and never forget that I loved you with all of my heart. That wasn’t a lie. It was real. You meant everything to me. I think you always will.” Without waiting for a reply he turned and left the room.
Chapter Six
Charity snuggled deeper into the soft mattress of her childhood bed and peered over the edge of the multi-colored patchwork quilt. The morning light was barely filtering through the pink-laced curtains. For some reason her mother hadn’t changed the decor of her old room after she married Johnny. Of course, there hadn’t been a lot of time between the quick ceremony and when she and her mom had both jumped on the plane to Dallas a few weeks later. It could’ve also had something to do with the fact that her mother wasn’t ready to admit her only child had really grown up and left the nest. Whatever her reasons, it was comforting to have the room look the same now. It made Charity feel safe with her future now so uncertain. Maybe if she just stayed right here in bed then everything bad that had happened over the past few months could be forgotten.
She pulled the old quilt up tighter under her chin and closed her eyes. She tried dozing off again, but a moment later there was a light tapping on the bedroom door. She re-opened her eyes just as her mom peeked in.
“Are you awake?” Seeing Charity’s eyes open, Judy came in, and closed the door behind her. She walked over and sat on the edge of the huge four post bed. She was wearing an old bath robe Charity’s dad had given her as a Christmas present ten years earlier. At one time it had been bright orange with blue teddy bears covering it from the collar to its hem. Now the old thing was faded and ragged. The truth was that even with its ratty appearance it didn’t look much worse than the day it had been given as a gift. It was ugly no matter what.
Charity’s father was clueless when it came to giving presents. That Christmas he had sat with a loopy grin on his face the entire time it took for Judy to unwrap the robe. Judy should have been the actress in the family because in spite of how hideous the robe was, she still had pretended to be thrilled. It was the most revolting thing that had ever been sewn together for the purpose of selling in a department store, much less the lovely boutique where he’d ventured to find something really nice for mom.
Judy wore the special robe every Christmas day. It was a tradition, and the day wasn’t off to a good start until she had put it on and cooked a huge meal of bacon and pancakes. After breakfast they would sit around the tree and open presents. Jim still believed Judy wore it because she loved it so much, and because he was still clueless about just how ugly the robe was, every year he tried to find something equally as horrid to give her. Judy always saved his present for last. Charity didn’t know if it was because her mother was trying to put off the awful surprise for as long as possible or if it was because she was saving the best present for last.
The Christmas holidays were Judy’s favorite time of the year. She always went all out to see that everything was just perfect for her family. Every room in the house was always decorated to the hilt and each meal was planned down to the last taste and nibble. Because her mother loved it so much and went out of her way to make it special for them, Charity had always looked forward to it too. This was the one time she wished it would all just go away. Maybe next year things would be brighter and she would be able to look forward to it again.
Judy pulled at the edge of Charity’s covers. “I didn’t think you would sleep in so long this morning. Don’t you want to come downstairs and help me fix breakfast for everyone?”
Charity curled into a tight ball. The only things visible from under the covers were her bright green eyes and the top of her head. “Mom, the sun’s barely out.” Seeing a look of disappointment cross her mother’s face, Charity pulled the covers below her chin and forced a grin. “Sure. I will be down in a minute. Has David or Maria gotten up yet?”
Judy played with a fuzzy blue bear head on the front of her robe and shook her head. “No. I haven’t heard a peep from them. I know she was up in the middle of the night looking for something to take for a headache. I wish she would go see a doctor about those headaches.”
Charity snuggled deeper under the covers. In the winter, her parents’ big old house had a tendency to be chilly first thing in the mornings
. She loved the historical home but could never get used to how cold it could sometimes feel. “I know. David keeps trying to get her to go, but she insists the headaches are nothing to worry about. Thanks for inviting them for Christmas. I know they appreciated the invitation.”
She reached out from under the covers and took Judy’s hand. It was nice and warm. Her mother always smelled of vanilla, but this morning, she must have tried a new shampoo because the aroma reminded Charity of fresh green apples. “I believe they’re hoping for a white Christmas. I tried to tell them that in this part of Tennessee we seldom see snow this early in the season, but they are still hoping I’m wrong. At least it’s more like Christmas here than at their home in Malibu. With all the leaves off the trees, it looks like winter here. Maybe we’ll get lucky and it will spit out a few flakes while they’re here. It is certainly cold enough today.”
Charity had waited to break the news of the divorce to her mother and father until after Judy had been home a while, but had been afraid to wait too long in case they heard about it from some of their friends. She hadn’t wanted her mother jumping right back on a plane and flying out to Dallas again. The last few weeks had been hard in Dallas without her but it would have been selfish to expect her to stay after just learning how homesick she was. The strain had been awful and Charity had dropped several more pounds. Every time she faced food it only made her feel nauseated. Since returning home Charity had taken to wearing baggy clothes to cover up how much more weight she had lost since the breakup.
Charity didn’t know Judy’s exact thoughts, but she assumed from the sad look on her mom’s face that Johnny had let more than one person down. She really didn’t want to talk about her failed marriage with her mom, on Christmas day, so she just smiled at her and said, “Why don’t you get things started, mom? I’m going to take a hot shower and put on some sweats before I come down. Maybe the shower will help warm me up. I’m about to freeze to death. I think dad needs to check the heating unit before breakfast. It seems chillier in here than usual.”
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