David waved and made a hasty retreat toward the guest bathroom.
Charity took David’s place in the rocking chair. By the time she looked back down at Suzette, she was already fast asleep. Charity looked over her head at her mom. “I’m sorry mom. You must be tired from your long flight and the show tonight. Why don’t you use the room you always stay in? You know where everything is. Make yourself at home.”
Judy stood up and walked over to the rocking chair. She touched Charity’s cheek, briefly, and then bent down to kiss the spot she had just touched. “I’m so proud of you baby. Congratulations on your award tonight. I think that I will turn in. I didn’t know I was so tired. We can talk in the morning. I don’t go back until Friday.”
Charity took her mom’s hand and squeezed it. “I appreciate you coming all this way just to come to the awards ceremony. I have missed you and dad so much.”
Judy patted Charity’s hand. “I miss you too. We’ll talk tomorrow. Goodnight dear.”
“Goodnight mom. I’ll see you in the morning.”
❋
After Judy left the room, the only sound in the living room came from the television set and from the rocking chair squeaking as Charity rocked. Every now and then Suzette would let out a faint little sigh. Charity could have sat there all night and rocked Suzette.
David watched the two in the rocking chair from the hallway. They were a beautiful sight. Charity was still all dressed up in the black evening dress, and Suzette had on her light pink sleeper with little clowns on the collar. Charity was so short she could only rock back and forth by using her tip toes. He could barely hear Charity humming a lullaby. The song was faint, but unmistakable.
The scene was everything a man could want. The two people that he loved were safe in the warm comforts of his home. Home. Family and home was what you made out of it. He wanted Charity to stay. He wanted her to help him make this their home, but he already knew that wasn’t going to be as easy as it sounded. Maria’s ghost kept coming back. Her memory now came unbidden to remind him of his past happiness. The memory would accuse him of looking for a happiness he didn’t deserve, and remind him that he once had a beautiful relationship with another woman. He had no right to forget he had once loved and had been loved so completely in return. Did he have the right to move on? Did he have the right to love again? All of these thoughts kept David rooted where he was. They kept him from going over to Charity and holding her like he wanted to hold her.
David couldn’t keep the thoughts of the last months away. He could vividly remember his agony when the doctor had informed him of Maria’s death. He had spent the better part of eight months trying to come to grips with her death. The night after her funeral he had gone to the hospital in the middle of the night to see his daughter in the nursery. He had stood outside the nursery window watching Suzette sleep. He knew then he was not going to be any good to her. He saw no other way but to go away so he could get rid of his pain, and until it was gone he could not be the kind of father his daughter needed. He was ashamed to say he went away only thinking of himself. He saw now just how wrong he had been. Suzette’s needs had been of far greater importance than his pain and ultimately, she had been the cure. If he had only remained, he would have healed much quicker. He wouldn’t have had to spend so much time wallowing in self-pity. Suzette had needed him, and he had not been here with her to watch her grow, to give her the nurturing a baby needed, or the love she deserved. He was never going to make that mistake again. Not ever.
Somehow he had to put Maria’s memory away. Not so far away Suzette would never know of her, but he couldn’t afford to cling to it as he was now. If he ever hoped to create a new life, he had to be able to let new feelings come in, and that meant the love he had for Charity.
Charity looked up, and saw David standing in the hallway. If she was puzzled by the fact that he just stood there, she never let on. She gave him a faint, dreamy smile. He could see that she was about halfway asleep herself. He went over to her and gently took Suzette out of her arms.
“Go on to bed before you fall asleep here in the rocking chair.”
She didn’t have the strength to argue. “Okay. I’ll get up in a couple of hours to check on Suzette. I know that you must be tired yourself. It has been a rough couple of days.”
David cradled his daughter against his shoulder, leaned down, and kissed Charity on the cheek. “Yes it has. Don’t worry about Suzette tonight. I’ll keep an eye on her. Just go get a good night’s sleep.”
Charity started to head towards her bedroom when David’s voice stopped her. “Congratulations on your award tonight. I know that it hasn’t really hit what a real honor that award is, but it is. It validates everything that you have worked so hard for, and you deserve it. I’m so proud of you.”
Of all the congratulations that Charity had received that night, David’s praise made her feel that winning the award had been a special thing. Until that moment, the award hadn’t felt real to her. She turned back towards her bedroom so he could not see her tears.
“Thank you, David. Maybe tomorrow it will hit me that I actually won an Oscar, but for some reason, tonight it doesn’t feel real. Try and get some sleep yourself tonight. You look beat.”
She turned around briefly and gave him half of a smile. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Yes, you will. Good night.”
Chapter Thirteen
Charity was rocking and singing a lullaby when Judy walked into the nursery and stood by the chair. “Did you sleep at all last night?”
Charity had been staring out at the ocean view and was surprised by her mother’s sudden appearance. “Good morning, mom. I woke up around three this morning and came in here only to find Suzette wide awake. She wasn’t crying or anything, but when she raised her arms wanting to be picked up, I couldn’t resist, so we’ve been rocking ever since. Her fever hasn’t returned. With any luck the worst is over.”
Judy sat on the edge of the huge cherry toy chest next to the crib. She was still dressed in her pajamas and that old orange robe with faded blue teddy bears.
When Charity noticed her mom’s wild attire she couldn’t help but laugh. “Tweedy-bird? Where on earth did you find Tweedy-bird house shoes?”
Judy raised her feet so they could both get a better look at the bright yellow shoes. “Your father gave them to me for our anniversary. Isn’t he the most romantic guy on earth? Most men buy jewelry, but not your dad.”
Another loud snicker escaped before Charity could stop it. She quickly covered her mouth and glanced at Suzette to make certain she hadn’t disturbed her. She was relieved to see she was still fast asleep. She lowered her voice. “There’s one thing you can say about Dad. He’s consistent. The man can’t be left alone in a department store. I’ll try to get home a few days before Christmas. Maybe I can help him find you something nice before he goes out and buys you something to match those shoes. You might wind up with a Tweedy bird purse or sweater.”
It was Judy’s turn to cover her mouth, then she decided to change the subject before they woke the baby. “Okay. Enough about your dad. So what are your long range plans? Any firm film offers?”
Charity shrugged. “There have been plenty of good offers, but I’m not going to commit to anything for a while. I want to return to school and finish my degree. After that I’ll decide what I want to do next about my career. That’s if you don’t mind me moving back home for a while? I promise not to be too much of a bother.”
Judy grinned. “Your dad and I would love having you back in the house with us, but are you sure that’s what you want to do? The work is here. Do you think it’s wise to leave California right now?”
Charity shifted Suzette’s weight to her other arm. “I don’t know. I want to finish my degree in Tennessee. I’ll worry about my career at a later date.”
Judy sat back and crossed her arms before asking, “Is this about your degree or is this about your feelings for David?”
/> Charity focused on Suzette’s long eyelashes instead of her mother’s all too knowing eyes. “I guess I really haven’t been very discreet with my feelings. Does everyone know I’m in love with David?”
Judy stood and knelt beside the rocking chair. “I’m sorry if I’m out of line. Last night it was so obvious how much the two of you care about each other. Is that why you are coming home?”
A single tear made its way down Charity’s face. “I’ve made such a total mess out of things. Look at my life these past months. I’ve been married, divorced, and then out of nowhere, I’ve spent months raising Maria and David’s newborn baby.” She caressed the top of Suzette’s head. “Now I’m about to lose her.” She finally looked at her mother again. “To make matters worse, now I’ve fallen in love with my best friend’s husband. I need to take a step backwards to see where I’m at, and where I’m going from here. I don’t want to hurt anyone else, and quite frankly, my own heart can’t stand any more pain.”
Judy touched Charity’s arm. “What about David? Doesn’t he have some say so? He’s just as in love with you, as you are with him.”
Charity tried to smile, but it wasn’t to be. Her mouth trembled in the process, and it brought with it tears. “He loves Maria too much to ever love anyone else, and as much as I love Suzette, I can’t stay here and hope he will love me one day, too. If he ever decides he loves me, he knows where Tennessee is. Planes fly both ways, but I’m not going to hold my breath for that to happen. I have to go on with my life. I can’t wait for someone who is uncertain about their feelings for me. It wouldn’t be doing right by him or me. Besides, the longer I stay, Suzette only becomes more attached to me every day. Maybe if I leave while she’s still just a baby, she’ll forget me and it won’t hurt her. I couldn’t live with myself if I thought I had hurt her in anyway. She means the world to me.”
David slipped out of bed and headed over to shut off the baby monitor. He had moved it from Charity’s bedroom to his own, the night before. He had wanted her to get a good night’s sleep. He wasn’t sure why he had listened to Judy and Charity’s entire conversation. A little after hearing Charity go into Suzette’s room, he had drifted off to sleep. It must have been the sweet lullabies Charity had begun singing because that was the last thing he remembered, until Judy and Charity began talking about house shoes. It had been amusing, listening to them discussing Jim’s bad gift buying decisions. He had actually been on the verge of going to switch off the sound when Judy asked Charity about her future plans. Soon enough, it was too late, he had to hear what Charity said.
David clicked off the monitor and rubbed the center of his chest. His heart felt as if someone had punched him. He crawled back into bed. Charity was leaving them. How could he deal with such a huge loss again? What was stopping him from going right in there and telling her he loved her? The answer was the same as it had been the night before, Maria. Charity deserved a man who could be there completely and not hanging onto the past. So while there was a tough decision to be made, he made his decision by doing nothing.
❋
As soon as Judy flew back to Tennessee, Charity did everything she could to stay busy and slowly remove herself from David and Suzette’s lives. She only had a few final scenes to wrap up in After the Glory, so she had Michael find her as many appearances as he could. A lot of talk shows were very interested in talking to her about winning the Oscar and she accepted as many as she could fit between filming to fill her days..
Suddenly everyone wanted to know how she had become so famous in such a short time. It was nice to finally have a voice in what really happened and it was refreshing to have the truth out there, instead of the half-truths or outright lies.
She took a lot of overnight trips. She figured gradually forcing more and more alone time between David and his daughter, that soon it would just come natural for the two of them. She wasn’t certain how the process was working for Suzette but it was slowing killing her. The nights away from the two of them were torture. It was too difficult thinking about the final move without feeling like she was slowly dying inside. With just a few days left until she left for Tennessee, Charity decided she couldn’t put off telling everyone any longer, so she started with Michael. She arranged to meet him for lunch at a location that held many good memories for the two of them.
Michael pulled up in his red sports car, along the curb, directly in front of the patio table where she was seated. He only glanced her way once before casually getting out of the car and walking over to the table. He didn’t see her welcoming smile, because he was looking at the sidewalk. It was easy to see he still had not gotten over the hurt of her rejection. She tried to remain calm, but with her heart racing, that was difficult.
It wasn’t until he reached the table that he made eye contact. She smiled a greeting and motioned for him to be seated. “Hi! I haven’t seen you in some time. How have you been?”
Michael signaled for their waitress to come over. He gave a quick order for some ice water before answering. “I’m fine. How are you? You’ve been busy lately.” He finally made eye contact with her again, ever so briefly and when the waitress brought the water, he focused on all of the activity of the water being placed on the table.
She waited until the waitress left again before nodding. “I’m doing well and appreciate all the trouble you took, making the talk show bookings. It couldn’t have been easy, since I asked you to at the last minute.”
He sipped on his water and took his time about sitting the glass on the table, still trying to avoid eye contact. “It wasn’t a problem. I figured you must have had your reasons to ask, and everyone was eager to have you on anyway.” He took another sip of water. “Which brings me to saying that I’ve received several calls with offers for new movies. I’ve been meaning to get in touch with you about which ones you might be in interested in.”
It was heart-breaking to see Michael trying so hard to keep the conversation very business-like in tone, and struggle to remain in control of his emotions. She would do whatever it took to make their meeting as painless as possible for him. “That’s one of the reasons I asked you to lunch.”
With that said out loud, Charity now found herself stalling for time as she shook her napkin out and placed it across her lap. Still nowhere near ready for the upcoming conversation, she then folded her hands in front of her on the table before looking him directly in the eyes. “I’m returning to Tennessee. I’m taking a year off from acting to finish my degree at the University back home. I thought you should be one of the first people to hear of my plans, since they affect our agreement. I won’t be making any money during this time. I didn’t know whether you wanted to still represent me or not.”
Michael’s eyes never left hers and from the way his eyes darted away and off into the distance, she could see he was trying to think of a good reply. He finally met her eyes again and somehow managed to keep his earlier business-like tone. “Well, of course. Why wouldn’t I want to represent you? I don’t see any problems with you taking off time to finish your degree. In fact, I can use that angle to get you a lot of great publicity, until you’re ready to work again. The Oscar winner returns home to complete her degree. The Hollywood rebel. She does things her own way. What’s not to love about that? I guess that’s what I like so much about you. You don’t try to do things the Hollywood way. You’re your own woman.”
Charity tried to read if he was being sarcastic, but as far as she could tell he was being straight with her. “Yes, I am. I was afraid after the other night you wouldn’t want to be my agent.”
This time it was her turn to avoid looking at him. “It was never my intention to hurt you. I’m not very good with personal relationships.” She finally met his eyes again. “I didn’t want to leave town until I saw you again. I value our friendship so much. I would like to remain friends if that’s okay with you.”
Michael scratched his eyebrow and leaned forward, folding his arms on the table. “I’m not sure
how to have this conversation.” He looked away as if the eye contact was too painful. After a few tense seconds, he looked back. “I know how things stand between you and David.”
It was Charity’s turn to laugh though it contained no cheer. “And how is that? I mean if you think you know something. By all means, please tell me how things stand between David and me, because I don’t have a clue.”
He sat back and propped one arm on the back of his chair. His manner bespoke of a casual conversation. The actual tension between the two was horrendous. “You love him as much as he loves you.”
Charity leaned backwards too. “You couldn’t be more wrong. David still loves Maria. I think he always will.”
“Then he is a fool.” With that final sentence Michael stood. “I’m sorry but I have to go. I thought I could do this, but I can’t.”
Charity stood, went over to him, and stopped him with her hand on his arm, still thinking it was possible to end the meeting on a more positive note. “Please. Don’t leave right now. Why don’t you stay so we can talk some more? I don’t want our friendship to end like this.”
Michael covered her hand with his. “No. I can’t stay, but this is not the end of our friendship or our business relationship. I just can’t do this today. I just need me more time.”
He brushed his lips across the side of her face and his last words held no bitterness. “Maybe I will see you in Tennessee. I’ve never been there. Who knows? I might sign on some of your state’s well known country music stars. A man has got to make a living some way.”
He gave cocky grin before letting her hand go and heading to his car. Before driving off, he waved. Just watching him drive off made Charity feel so sad. She had never set out to hurt him.
To try and block the scene with Michael at lunch, Charity returned to the studio nursery to play with Suzette. She was still sitting cross-legged on the bare floor, playing patty cake with Suzette, when David came in. Suzette was rubbing her eyes and yawning. Charity picked her up and tried to stand up at the same time. Since Suzette was getting so big Charity couldn’t manage it.
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