A Touch of Passion (boxed set romance bundle)

by Uvi Poznansky

  Harley’s family left the comfort of their peaceful home in the suburbs to spend what was left of the weekend at the Jersey shore. The girls talked and argued in the back of their big car during the two-hour trip, while Harley stared out the window. Jason left her alone, trying not to get her to feel better.

  They would know the results of her biopsy soon. How would their life change? The girls would still have school starting next month; she and Jason would go to work everyday. Adding one more activity to her schedule wouldn’t be that difficult, would it? She already relied on her mother-in-law far more than she should.

  Harley and sister-in-law, Bea grew up in Delaware together. Bea taught school, so she was home with her family during the summer. That was smart, Harley thought, wishing she’d listened to her mother and taken up school nursing. Fran should be able to spend time with Dave and his family, too; it wasn’t fair that Jason and Harley monopolized her.

  Harley’s sister, Melissa lived nearby, ready to have another baby. There wasn’t anyone else but Kelly who lived in northeast Philadelphia and her mother at the beach in Delaware.

  “I’d like to go to Delaware and see my mother next weekend,” Harley said, not sure if she thought it or if she said it out loud at first. The girls agreed.

  “I love it down there,” Angie said.

  “Okay,” Jason replied. “Remind me and we’ll leave Friday night. We can enjoy the summer before it’s too late. I mean before school starts.” He was frowning.

  “I know what you mean,” Harley whispered. Before it was too late. “We don’t have to start watching every word that comes out of our mouths, do we?”

  “Yes,” he said. “Yes, we do.”

  They arrived in Sea Isle before noon. Fran and Joe ran out to greet them, but Harley could see Fran was really coming for her, offering to take her purse and help bring their gear into the house.

  “You shouldn’t lift on that side,” she whispered. Harley frowned.

  “You’re right. He never said not to, but I know better.” Her right breast throbbed if her arm brushed across it since the local anesthesia wore off.

  “Did you hear anything yet?”

  “He was taking it to pathology himself. We should know soon.”

  Harley was so grateful Fran came to her for information and not Jason. She could see him hovering by the side door of the house, waiting, worried about her. It would be the dance for the next months; Jason trying to jockey a position around her so he could protect her. Taking a deep breath, she reached with her left arm and hugged Fran.

  Walking back in the house together, the women talked about quilts instead. Bea was bringing her sewing machine to teach them how to piece. Harley didn’t really want to learn, but her girls were enthusiastic and had encouraged her to try it, too. With the social agenda planned by Bea, and father-in-law, Joe taking care of the menu, there was little Harley had nothing to do but relax, already feeling the effect of being at the shore. The drought that summer had taken a toll of the scrub pines and oak trees surrounding the lot, but to Harley, they represented peace. It was too hot to hang out on the screen porch, so she was going to stay outdoors.

  “I’m claiming that chaise,” she yelled, pointing to a lounge chair under a copse of ancient oaks, which towered over the campground, mingling their tops and shading the entire area. Everyone nodded and laughed with her as she plunked down in the chair. Out of character, she realized that her girls might remember if negative news came that she’d been resting in a chaise lounge like an invalid. So she sprang up to join the activity.

  “Pop’s got lunch made,” Fran said.

  “I’m starving,” Harley said.

  They marched inside, Grandfather Joe coming forward to hug his granddaughters. The chatter was deafening as he got the latest news. He was a frequent observer of their soccer games and concerts and loved to hear the details of their young lives. Harley made a mental note that if she died; he’d be there for the girls. Shaking her head, she wanted to rid herself of the negativity.

  Jason appeared next to her. “What’s going on?” he asked.

  Sighing, Harley told him what she’d been thinking. “I don’t even have a diagnosis yet and I’m already thinking about what will happen to them.”

  Nodding his head toward their bedroom, he took her hand and led her back. Closing the door behind them, he took her in his arms. Their bodies melded together perfectly from all the years they’d been together.

  “I love you so much,” he whispered, his voice husky. About to say I don’t know what I’d do without you but caught it before the words spewed out.

  “Jason, I love you, too.”

  They kissed guiltily, not used to daytime affection. The girls were always there, interlopers to intimacy that only found a voice in the dark after everyone was in bed.

  “Just pray it’s negative,” Harley said. “I don’t know how I’ll cope. I’m so worried about leaving you.”

  “It’s probably nothing, Harley. Just know that if anything happens to you, we’ll be fine. Just like I know if anything happened to me, you’d be fine. No worries, okay? Let’s get through today.”

  They agreed to let each other feel what needed to be felt. “I guess we had better get out there,” Harley said.

  Back out in the kitchen, they enjoyed homemade Italian hoagies and all the accompaniments; chips, potato and macaroni salads, Italian rum cake.

  “I’ll have to watch the calories all week,” Harley said, her girls agreeing they’d have to, too.

  “Eat up,” Joe said. “Life is too short to deny yourself.” Harley kept chewing, knowing Fran and Jason were watching her. She had to be on guard not to personalize every single thing said.

  “I agree,” she answered. “Bring on the ice cream!”

  Just as lunch was over and the commotion was settling down, Jason’s younger brother Dave and his wife, Bea arrived with their three children, Amanda and Sally who were within the ages of Jason and Harley’s older three, and a toddler boy, Michael.

  “Don’t name your kid Michael,” Jason had said. “Haven’t you heard about Michaels?”

  “I don’t believe any of that name crap,” Dave said.

  “It’s true,” Bea piped up. “All Michaels can be hellions.”

  “That’s true about any kid,” Dave said, ending the conversation. Well, a year later, he’d concede they were correct.

  “This kid is a monster,” Dave said sadly, as they watched the ten-month-old scale the furniture as if he was a mountaineer. “I have to get an earthquake strap for the TV before he tries to climb it next.” Michael looked at the huge television with a gleam in his eye.

  “Where will you get an earthquake strap in New Jersey?”

  “Amazon.”

  “Just don’t let him wreck my flat screen,” Joe said.

  The girls went to their rooms together while the adults caught up, Devon taking control of Michael while Bea and Harley childproofed the great room.

  “Who’s driving up here in that junker?” Joe asked, pulling the curtains aside to look out. Jason looked over his shoulder, and then at Harley, whose heart did a strange little twist, her gorge rising. Jason came to her and they held hands. Why would Andy drive two hours unless it was to deliver bad news?

  “We’ll be back,” Jason said. “It’s an old friend.”

  Fran left for her own room, closing the door behind her. Falling on her knees, she cried out to God, begging him for mercy for Harley, pleading with him, offering her own body as a substitute if he would spare her son’s wife. In minutes, she felt better, feeling God’s presence in her life. She had to trust Him because she was helpless. Getting off the floor, she went to the bathroom to wash her face and reapply lipstick.

  The sound of a car starting and driving away signaled a negative report. If it were good news, the man would have surely stayed. Fran went to the window and watched. Jason and Harley were embracing under the oak. Fran watched him stroking Harley’s hair, whispering in
her ear. Taking her chin in his hand, he tipped her face up to his and kissed her. From the safety of her bedroom, she could see Harley’s body shaking, Jason holding her. In seconds, Harley calmed down, stood on her tiptoes, kissed Jason, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand, and they walked hand in hand toward the house.

  Murmuring voices heard from the kitchen, Fran put her ear to the door, footsteps coming toward her room echoing. It was Harley, tears in her eyes.

  “Granny, can I talk to you? I need help. Do we ruin the weekend and tell them our news, or do I keep it to myself? Or do we tell and then leave?”

  “I’m so sorry, my dear,” Fran said, hugging her. “We’re a family. Go tell your older girls first and let them help you decide. I’ll keep Devon. Personally, I think you should stay. Do you want me to tell Pop?”

  Harley sighed. She hated being the center of attention in the best of times.

  “Yes, I guess so, the others, too. I’ll tell the girls first. Keep it simple. I have breast cancer. I go to the oncologist next week and will know more then. Andy said I’ll probably have chemo, then surgery, then radiation.”

  “You have to have all that?” Fran asked, frowning. Maybe it was worse than she thought. “I thought they did one or the other.”

  “The kind of cancer I have is fast growing. I’ll know more next week after I see the oncologist,” she repeated. “My head’s in a whirl.”

  “How extensive is the surgery?” Fran was petrified; she’d never met anyone who’d had a mastectomy.

  Harley grabbed her arm. “Can you friggin believe it? I forgot to ask! It’s something else I’ll discover next week when I see the oncologist.”

  Fran patted her arm thinking of the scripture from Corinthians that people liked to twist; And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, was what it really said. But well-meaning friends would say God will never give you more than you could handle. That, my friends, she thought, is a lie. When you are weak, He is strong.

  Unable to imagine going through what Harley was facing, she wouldn’t preach platitudes to try to make her feel better. When she was a young mother, she worried constantly about her boys, what would happen to them if she died. Now, her son faced it instead. What would he do if Harley died? Silently admonishing herself, she knew it was a knee jerk reaction; she was hearing bad news, leading to negative thinking.

  “It’s not important right now anyway,” Fran said, sorry she asked. “Let’s take one step at a time. What do you do next?”

  “Someone will call me Monday and tell me. So I’m free until then! I can pretend none of this is happening. I think I just changed my mind about telling everyone.”

  But it was too late.

  Bea came to her as soon as she left Fran’s room. “I don’t know what to say except I’ll be with you through this.”

  “I’m going to kill my husband,” Harley said. “But thank you. I knew I could count on you.”

  She walked through the house looking for Jason.

  “You have a big mouth.” Harley was angry. “I had just decided to let the weekend be free of drama. You need to confer with me from now on before you go behind me and talk.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, not sorry at all. He was miserable and wanted everyone in his family to share his burden. Grabbing for her, Harley tried to pull away but he was stronger.

  “Now we either leave or tell the girls. I can’t believe you put me in this predicament.”

  “No one will say anything to them,” he said contritely.

  “No, they won’t have to because they’re all walking around wiping tears off their faces like they had to put the family dog to sleep.”

  The comparison of her diagnosis with a pet’s euthanasia struck Harley as particularly funny and she had to turn her back smiling, not wanting Jason to think he was off the hook.

  “Look, I don’t want to drag you down, but you’ve got to pull yourself together. You’re not helping me by making this about you.”

  “I’m insulted,” he said, indignant. “I’m not making it about me.”

  “You are too, Jason. I’ve asked you over and over again not to speak for me yet you continue to do it. Just clam up. Go watch a baseball game or something, will you?”

  “We’re taking the boat out to fish,” he answered.

  “Well, thank God. Hurry and go,” Harley said, relieved. “I need to tell the girls.

  “Don’t you want to wait for me to be there?”

  “Ah, no I do not! Go fishing.”

  The men were out of the door within an hour. Bea put Michael down for a nap; the time was right to tell her daughters the news. The five cousins were in a bedroom, reading; Angie a soccer magazine, Bennie, Eat, Pray, Love, Sally and Amanda, Judy Blume, and Tina, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.

  “They’re just like we were,” Bea whispered. They grabbed onto each other as they walked, the prospect of what Harley was faced with looming ahead.

  “Exactly like us,” Harley replied.

  “Knock knock,” Bea said through the crack in the door. “Can we interrupt you?”

  “I just said we should be outside on a beautiful day like this,” Bennie said.

  “Tomorrow,” Amanda replied. “The beach, first thing.”

  They all agreed the beach was the place to be when they were down the shore. Bea opened the door with Harley behind her.

  “Can we come in?”

  “Sure,” Angie said, moving over so her aunt could sit down. “What’s going on, you two?”

  “You look like this is serious,” Bennie said. Great, Harley thought.

  “I’d like to talk to you while we’re alone. Daddy and Uncle Dave and Pop went fishing and Mikey is taking a nap.”

  “Thank God,” Sally said and the other laughed.

  “We already know about menstruation,” Bennie said.

  “Well yes, it’s true, you do know about that.”

  “Let her talk,” Angie said. Harley took a deep breath.

  “I hardly know where to start so I’ll just say it out. I have breast cancer.” Her girls cried out, reaching for her, clambering over their cousins to get to their mother.

  “Mom, I’m so sorry,” Tina said.

  “When did you find out? I can’t believe we didn’t know you were going through something so scary,” Angie said.

  “I just found out when Uncle Andy came to tell us a little while ago. I discovered a problem yesterday and had a test and then this morning we went to the office and I had a biopsy. I’m just finding everything out now. I wanted you to know because I hated keeping it from you, but I don’t want you to worry. I’ll be fine.” The sisters and cousins chattered, asking questions she didn’t have answers for yet, so she made up answers.

  Bennie hadn’t said a word, but she held on to Harley for dear life. “If you don’t have any more questions for now, let’s go outside. Bennie, you’re right, it is a beautiful day. We need to enjoy it because…” Bennie interrupted her.

  “Don’t say it, Mom! I can’t bear it!” Harley shook her head as if to clear her thoughts.

  “Bennie, say what?”

  “That we need to enjoy it because we’re all going to die someday.” She latched onto Harley with her arms around her waist as in a vise grip, hysterical crying, yelling, “Don’t die, I can’t stand it, please don’t die!”

  “Bennie!” Harley shouted. “I was going to say we need to enjoy it because school is going to be here before you know it.”

  They could hear Bennie snorting and moaning muffled by Harley’s body. She had latched on to her mother’s right side and Harley was trying to guard her breast. “Honey, my right boob had a ten inch needle stuck into it this morning and you’re pressing your wild red hair into it.” Quickly pulling back, face a mess, Bennie looked in horror at her mother’s breast.

  “Oh I am so sorry, Mom! Please forgive me.”

  “Your boob?” Bea stated, trying to stifle a laugh. The moment of misery passed bec
ause the alternate was too terrifying to contemplate.

  The men eventually returned from fishing. They weren’t having fish for dinner, either. Pizza from the local pizza parlor and more rum cake left from lunch kept the family occupied around the huge dinning table. Fortunately, Harley’s breasts weren’t a topic of conversation, but her girls did stick closely to her, Tina always at her side, Bea’s girls worried that something horrible might happen to their mother, too.

  By eight, Harley was ready for bed, exhausted. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed.” She didn’t say she was dead tired, or ready to drop dead, or felt like death warmed-over, all the common phrases they’d used over the years to express the exhaustion of living. The filtering of her words and policing of her husband’s was taking a toll and she hadn’t even started treatment yet. After saying goodnight, she no longer cared what Jason said or if they all had a powwow concerning her predicament. It wasn’t until she’d brushed her teeth, snuggled under the sheets, and was starting to doze off that she remembered she hadn’t called her sisters or mother.

  “Oh hell,” she whined, the first thing she’d be faced with on a Sunday morning was causing more pain.

  “What’s wrong?” A disembodied voice whispered. She got up on her elbows to find Jason lying next to her in bed.

  “When did you get here?”

  “A few minutes ago. You were sawing logs.”

  “I forgot to call my mother and the others today.”

  “Give them more time,” he said. “You just found out yourself. Tomorrow you’ll be in better shape to talk to them. How’s your biopsy site?”

  “Sore. So what’s everyone saying out there?” she asked, nodding to the front of the house.

  “They were keeping it light. The girls joined us playing cards so no one could really say much. I missed you so here I am, wide awake.” He snuggled next to her and she could feel something intrusive.