A Touch of Passion (boxed set romance bundle)

by Uvi Poznansky

  Ready to begin a new life, on Friday, two days after the funeral, he’d insisted Maryanne go back to Delaware so he could be alone with the girls. Talking Joe into taking his mother back home too, he was finally alone with the girls. On Monday, on his own, he got the girls off to school, and after they left, the house echoed in solitude. Remembering the few times he was home after Harley went to work, the difference was the promise of her return. Plans for their evening, even if it was the meal she’d serve was a form of anticipation. That was gone now. He’d have to find a substitute, something he could introduce into their routine.

  Having coffee at the kitchen table, he pondered what that next step was going to be. Spending the evenings with his girls would bring him comfort, but they were already returning to their lives. Even Devon looked forward to a birthday party the next weekend. Little League practices were prepared for with precision.

  “Dad, don’t forget you have to wash my uniform,” she reminded him. “And my glove needs to be cleaned and oiled.”

  “Don’t you oil your glove yourself?” he asked curiously.

  “No, Mom always did it for me,” she said, unfazed.

  “Let me teach you how to do it,” he said. “Not that I mind helping you, but you should know how in case you need to teach someone, like Michael.”

  Devon liked that idea and willingly listened to his instructions.

  The next day, Tuesday, was his first day back to work. Granny Fran came to see Angie, Devon and Tina off to school even though Bennie was there. Jason left by seven, which was about an hour later than usual. Harley hadn’t worked for months, but driving to the hospital the first time after she died was challenging; to cope he pretended she was going in her own car as they used to do in case he had to work late. Magical thinking would only work for so long, however.

  The locker room was empty when he arrived, his colleagues in their weekly staff meeting. Quickly changing into scrubs, an air of surrealism swirled around him. Going through the necessary motions of life was something he could control. The hospital was familiar; he only had to think about anesthesia to get through the day. Grabbing his stethoscope, putting it around his neck, he left the locker room for the anesthesia office to find he was working in room two, a small OR where minor procedures were done.

  First stopping by the drug room to pick up his supplies for the day, he wasn’t in the OR room long before Tiffany came in, the first time he’d seen her since the funeral. The same people from work who’d come to their wedding had attended Harley’s funeral, only a few staff members left behind to handle any emergencies. His back to the door, he heard it open and turned.

  “I wanted to see you before the meeting got out,” she said, walking to him. He stood up and with open arms, embraced her standing next to the anesthesia machine, their breathing the only sound in the room. Finally, he released her; the moment of sorrow had passed. He wasn’t ready to share his feelings with anyone, especially Tiffany.

  “I didn’t even look at the schedule,” he said. “Are you in here? Do you know what we have?”

  “Yes, I’m in here,” she said. “We’re doing feet today.”

  Jason burst out laughing. A podiatry day was often looked upon by the staff as punishment. He knew Andy was working; they’d talked on the phone the night before. As much as he would have enjoyed working with him, Jason didn’t want to do breast surgery all day, not sure he’d ever be able to do it again. But for now, the milieu of feet was perfect for him. After the first patient was finished, having to go into recovery was difficult, but he didn’t dwell on it, professional, detached.

  Time quickly passed and before he knew it, his shift was over. Tiffany was on call, relieving another nurse for the day so he was spared having to say goodbye to her, or of being in a position of refusing an after-work stop at the bar. He wondered how long it would take before she’d approach him, hoping it wouldn’t happen.

  Arriving home, he pulled into the garage next to Harley’s car, a sentinel of her absence. Sadness tinged with bitterness, he was aware that vulnerability lurked closely; he’d better be on his toes because working around single women all day was not pleasant. Wanting to honor Harley’s memory by waiting six months before he went on a date, it was the least he could do.

  Surprisingly, he was moving on with his life. As Memorial Day approached, he’d grown used to sleeping alone. Certain circumstances continued to have a profoundly sad effect on him, but he just avoided those things. Old photos, especially of Harley smiling, were killers. The closet was off limits to anyone but the girls and Harley’s sisters.

  Melissa came to the house with her boys one Friday evening after work and Jason could tell by her eyes, glassy and red rimmed that she hadn’t had a good day. “Can I sit in your closet?” she asked. It wasn’t an unusual request; over the years, she’d sat there while Harley sorted through clothes or organized or wrapped gifts out of range of the girls.

  Jason pulled the foot stool from Harley’s rocking chair into the closet for her while the girls played with Greg and the baby. After a half an hour, she came out in worse shape.

  “I can’t believe she’s gone,” she sobbed. “It’s not getting any easier.”

  “It’ll probably hit me all at once,” Jason admitted.

  “How are you managing it?”

  “I just pretend she’s still around somewhere,” he said. “Like a guy, I’m blocking it out.”

  “Let me know how that works for you,” Melissa replied, dubious.

  “We’re going to the beach this weekend,” Jason said. “That might be what it takes. Why don’t you join us? Your mother will be there.”

  “Maybe. No. I don’t think I can ever go there again. At least not to your dad’s place. It’s bad enough being around here.”

  She kissed Jason goodbye after gathering her children. “Let’s talk next week,” he said. “Maybe I’ll have something relevant to convey.”

  “Okay, I’ll be waiting,” Melissa said. “Wave bye bye to Uncle Jason.”

  While Jason went through another week in a zombie state, his daughters were ensconced in preparations for the end of the school year. Devon had moments of acting out, missing Harley and misinterpreting her absence for punishment. Dealing with her would be ongoing and he’d already sought counseling for the entire family because of it.

  Tina was slightly withdrawn, the family missing the bubbly, eccentric essence she’d once added to the household. Bennie, stony and determined, registered for twice as many classes than she’d taken per semester in the past.

  Angie, the only one who insisted that Harley would have wanted them to continue to pursue activities that brought them joy, signed up for a summer volleyball league in addition to soccer after graduation. A scholarship to Penn State accepted, September couldn’t come fast enough for her.

  “Do you regret staying home instead of going to New York?” she’d asked Bennie as they lazed around Friday, waiting for Family Movie Night.

  “I really don’t,” she said. “Mom was sick and I can’t imagine not having that last year with her. I’m glad I stayed home. No regrets.”

  “Pizza’s here!” Tina called out. Three pizza boxes, opened on the counter, with precise piles of paper plates, napkins and glasses for soda lined up on the counter. They stood in line and Tina helped Devon with hers first, one after the other, with Jason getting in line last. The movie on, they ate while ads for upcoming movies played. As they finished, plates went in the trash and boxes were closed up for snacking later.

  “Oh no,” Angie said, looking at the scene.

  “What?” the others chorused.

  “We did it just like Mom would have,” she answered, pointing. “What happened to our rebellious mess making?”

  Everyone looked around, at the cleaned off coffee table and kitchen counters. “She’d like it,” Jason said. “I’m glad we’re doing it her way.”

  “Me, too,” Devon said. “I feel like she’s still here.”

 
“Me, too,” Jason said, hugging her.

  The next morning, they left for the shore at dawn. Using the check list Harley used to use to consolidate what they were taking along, Jason and the two older girls read each item, marking it with an X. A pile of suitcases and grocery bags formed at the mudroom door.

  Seeing the organization unfolding, Bennie was comforted, knowing it would please her mother that her methods were being used. Like the rubber band effect, they’d veered away from it for a short time, but quickly understood how easy it made life to continue on with Harley’s tried and true system.

  Everyone pitched in loading the car. Jason stood back with a look of satisfaction on his face. “We did it,” he said, putting his arms around Tina and Angie. “Mom would be proud.”

  “Not a voice raised,” Bennie replied, accompanied by giggling.

  “Should we get in the car?” Angie asked.

  “It’ll be weird going without her,” Tina admitted, and they nodded in agreement.

  “But she’d be happy we were going,” Devon said. “Mommy loved the shore.”

  “That she did,” Jason said. “Let’s go.”

  Bennie sat up front with Jason, while Angie had the entire second seat to lie down and read. The other two were in the back watching a movie.

  They pulled into the development at nine; the rest of the family, including Maryanne had arrived the night before. She came out to greet Jason and the girls, seeing them for the first time since she’d left for home after Harley died. Hugs all around, having her there seemed right, made it feel normal. Joe even came out, following behind Fran, relieved that his son showed up.

  “Is Dave here?” Jason asked?

  “And Bea,” Fran whispered.

  “It’s a relief,” Jason replied. “I’m not ready to face more upheaval.”

  “Nor us,” Fran said. “And it would be too difficult for the children.”

  Jason looked around at the expectant faces. “Well, we’re here! What should be do first? Harley always controlled the emptying of the car.”

  They laughed, having to agree she was a stickler about unloading their belongings. “I remember what she did,” Devon said. “Everyone take their own bags to their rooms. Granny Fran, you and Pop Joe get the food. Daddy, you take the cooler and the rest of the stuff.”

  “I see,” Jason lamented. “I get to carry all the heavy stuff!”

  Joking as the bags were unloaded disseminated the sadness of being at the shore without Harley. Jason was experiencing true grief, feelings he’d buried back home, going through the motions of work and caring for his girls.

  Bea and Dave and their girls finally came outside to help unload. “We wanted to give you some space,” Bea explained.

  “You never need to give us space,” Jason replied. “But I get where you’re coming from.”

  “How are you doing?” Dave asked, sincerely concerned.

  “I’ve been fine because I’m doing my own thing going to work. Mom is there everyday like she always was, picking up the slack. But here, now this is going to be tough. It just sucks that Harley isn’t with us.”

  “It does suck,” Dave said. “Do you want to go throw some dice around in Atlantic City tonight?”

  Jason stopped what he was doing. “Yes, that sounds about where I’m at right now. I could do some damage in AC.”

  “You could also win the Jackpot,” Dave said, laughing. “Think positive, buddy.”

  “Yeah, cause that’s worked so well for me in the past.”

  Brothers went into the cottage, arms around each others shoulders, unified once again.

  Chapter 26

  Saturday night in Atlantic City meant different things for different people. For visitors like Jason and Dave, it was an exciting way to kill time away from family. For casino workers like Kathy Agin, it was a means to make ends meet, watching the hands slowly moving around the clock. It had not escaped her that if she’d been willing to move away from her mother, she might have found a teaching job with a summer off stretching out before her.

  Standing in her circle of gamblers, she stayed focused except for those brief forays into fantasy land in which she spent hours in a lounge chair on the deck off her mother’s kitchen, sipping lemonade and reading novels.

  “Kathy?” she turned to find herself face to face with Jason Jones.

  “Jason! I’ll be with you in just a moment,” she said, aware of the eyes in the sky watching her.

  “I’ll be in the main lounge,” he said, nodding over his shoulder and she smiled in response, turning back to games.

  In fifteen minutes, a floor manager appeared to give her a break. “Take your time,” she whispered. “I see a very handsome man watching you from the Blue Sky Lounge.”

  Kathy nodded and walked away, headed toward Jason. The shorter man, his brother, stood next to him, watching her, almost too interested. Kathy wondered then if it was a chance meeting or planned. Did he come to tell her sad news?

  Approaching Jason, Kathy reached out to take his hand. “Jason. And Dave. I remember you from our fish cleaning episode.”

  They shook hands and she waited, heart pounding, but neither man spoke. “I’m afraid to hear,” she said.

  Jason nodded his head, the look on his face unmistakable. Incomprehensibly, Kathy wept suddenly. They’ll think you’re a jerk, she thought. You weren’t even supposed to know her that well.

  The men embraced her, no one saying a word. “Two weeks ago,” Jason said. “She really tried to hang on for Angie’s graduation, but it was too much. She was getting tired of fighting.”

  “Well, I’m truly sorry,” Kathy said, wiping her eyes. “Truly. We were fond of each other.”

  “I know everything,” Jason said, smiling. “She had to confess because my brother here spilled the beans.”

  “Thanks, Dave,” Kathy replied. “We both worried you’d feel like we were being deceitful. It was a risk she was willing to take because she was so worried about the girls and all the work they were.”

  They laughed together, both teary eyed. “They are, but she can trust me. You can trust me. My mom is helping out so except for Harley not being there, not much has changed.”

  “I know that would bring her peace,” Kathy said.

  They chatted a while longer, Kathy drawing Dave into the conversation, mentioning how much she enjoyed Bea’s company the one day she was with her. Visibly relaxing, the men felt comfortable with Kathy without being aware of it.

  “I guess I’d better get back to work. Thank you for stopping when you recognized me or I’d never know.”

  “Did you wonder why you hadn’t heard from her?” Jason asked.

  “No, because truthfully, I’d ended the communication. I felt like I’d led her on, and I couldn’t rationalize the dishonesty. If anything had come of it, I’d always feel like you’d been coerced.”

  Jason smiled at her. “Well, don’t feel that way. I certainly don’t.”

  The men walked her back to her Black Jack table and said goodbye before the floor manager left.

  “We’ll be at in Sea Isle most weekends this summer, this one included, so feel free to come over with Laura. You don’t even need to call first.”

  “You remembered her name,” Kathy said, smiling.

  “Yeah, Jay, that’s pretty impressive,” Dave added. They had a final laugh and parted.

  “Let’s go lose some money,” Jason said, rubbing his hands together.

  Kathy watched them walk away while she dealt cards, excited that Jason seemed okay with the dishonest plan. But then she thought of Harley, and sadness bubbled up in her throat. Some day, Kathy hoped to find out how the last days of Harley’s life had unfolded, if she was at peace, or still anxious, hoping for peace. But with the pit boss and the security cameras all over the place, it wouldn’t be that evening.

  The next day, she decided to be bold and take Jason up on his offer, more to touch bases with his sister-in-law and allow Laura time with Devon. Afte
r morning coffee, she told Laura she had a surprise for her.

  “If you’re a good girl, we’re going to go see a special friend.”

  Laura looked off into space and the expression on her face tickled Kathy so that she laughed. “I think I know who,” she said.

  “Who?”

  “Devon and Michael?”

  “Oh my, you are so smart! Yes, Devon and Michael. So eat up your breakfast and let’s go,” she said.

  “Are you sure you should do this?” Kathy’s mother Betsy asked. “I mean she hasn’t been gone but a few weeks.”

  “I’m not doing it for Jason,” Kathy said. “I’m going it for the girls.”

  “Okay, if you’re sure,” Betsy replied.

  “Mother, you know me. I wouldn’t stick my neck out for any man, especially in this case. It’s for Harley.”

  Loading up the car for their trip, Kathy felt right about it, like she was going to visit an old friend.

  The family was outside, appearing to be cleaning the boat, when Kathy pulled into the yard. Devon came running when she saw Laura. “You came back!” she cried. The girls hugged, jumping up and down.

  Bea didn’t hesitate to welcome her. “The men told us they ran into you last night and I gave them hell for not getting your phone number.”

  “It probably seems a little nervy that I showed up but I needed to hear about Harley and there was no chance to talk about her last night. I’m so glad you’re here,” she said. The women hugged each other, both moved thinking about Harley.

  “Come in and see Fran. Harley’s mother, Maryanne is here, too.” Bea led the way into the cottage. Glancing over at the boat, Kathy waved to the men. She was relieved Jason didn’t stop what he was doing to come over and join them.