“Thank you,” Fran said. “I think. I’ll make coffee.”
The Black Friday routine unfolded without Harley. The girls hung out in their bedroom reading, Bea supervised Michael and Devon with a craft project, the men took advantage of the mild weather by putting the boat in the water one last time.
After lunch, Fran was sitting at the kitchen table alone, drinking coffee when she heard a car driving on the gravel. Pulling the curtain aside, she saw it was the young woman who had come to knit with Harley the day after Thanksgiving the year before, the one with the little girl. She’d come again Labor Day weekend, a comfortable, friendly visit.
“I hope you don’t mind the intrusion,” Kathy Agin said. “We were in the neighborhood and Laura asked to see Devon.”
“Come in,” Fran said, stepping aside. “Devon was just complaining she was getting bored so your timing is perfect.”
“Gosh, it’s sure quiet,” Kathy said, looking around the empty living room. “Did you have your whole family come for Thanksgiving?”
“We did, but Harley’s sisters and mother left last night. The men are out in the boat. Bea’s in back with the younger kids. Have a seat and I’ll get them.”
Kathy sat down and pulled Laura over to her. “Look at that. Mrs. Jones said our timing is perfect,” she said, kissing her.
“Kathy,” Bea said, coming out with Devon and Michael who immediately took Laura back to the toys. “It’s good to see you.”
“Thank you. I can’t believe it was only last year that I met all of you,” she said. “One year ago today.”
“It does seem impossible that time has gone so quickly,” Bea said, sitting down. “So much has changed yet here we are, nothing is different. It’s just weird.”
“I have news,” Kathy said. “I found a teaching job. It’s in Downingtown, so I’ll have to move.”
Bea grasped her hand. “You know I teach in Downingtown, don’t you?”
“You do?” Kathy asked. “I can’t believe it.”
“Do you have a place to live yet?” Bea asked.
“Not yet. I just found out about it. I don’t start until the new semester so I have a few weeks to look and get settled.
“You should think about looking by us. Jason isn’t far; we’re about three miles from him.”
The reality of what she was saying sunk in; she and Dave were probably going to have to sell their house if they went through with the divorce. Focusing on Kathy’s good news, she pushed that thought out of her mind.
“Anything I can do to help you, just let me know. I’m sure my girls would babysit for you, too.”
“Childcare has been the big thing,” she said. “It’s why I was reluctant to move away from my mother.”
“Well it’s very exciting and I’m so happy for you.” She leaned in and gave Kathy a hug just as the door opened and the men arrived.
“Surprise!” Kathy said.
“You’re the surprise!” Jason replied. “I’m all fishy.”
“We’re having fish for dinner,” Dave told Bea, actually smiling at her.
“Fish and crabs,” Joe said.
“The last crabs of the year,” Jason said.
“I’m ready to clean fish,” Kathy said, standing up. “Let’s go.”
“I’ll get the crab pot ready,” Bea said. “We’ll cook outside.”
“Absolutely,” Kathy replied.
While the others rounded up fish cleaning supplies and cooking implements, Kathy and Jason caught up. “I’ll be moving closer to you,” she said, smiling.
“I thought you told Harley I wasn’t your type,” he said laughing.
“Not to stalk you, but to work.”
“You got a teaching job? That’s great, Kathy. Congratulations.”
“I start next semester. I have to get a place and move.”
“The schools by us are really good. If Laura has any special needs, you’ll want to have her in Devi’s school. It’s rated exemplary.”
“Really? That’s wonderful. The good thing though is that Laura will be a student where I teach. She and I can travel together in the morning and at the end of the day, no sitter needed.”
“That’s great! You know, if you move nearby you’ll be close to Bea and Dave too,” he said, forgetting about his brother’s plan to move out. “Their girls are in the same school system as ours, but different schools.”
“Come on you two,” Joe called. “Let’s get these crabs in the pot before they try to crawl back to the sea.”
Like she did the afternoon a year before, Kathy made herself useful, pitching in with fish cleaning, shucking corn, scrubbing potatoes. Bea and Fran also joined in this time and the adults worked side by side, making small talk, teasing. Out of the blue, Kathy made a statement everyone was thinking but no one had the courage to put into words.
“The only thing missing is that Harley won’t be here when we’re ready to eat.”
Joe stopped what he was doing and looked over at her. “You took the words right out of my mouth,” he said.
“Yes, thank you,” Jason replied. “I’m always afraid to say anything about her for fear of being a downer.”
“You could never be a downer, Jay. She’d be so happy we were doing this,” Bea said, looking at everyone. “It’s a family tradition, eating fresh caught fish the day after Thanksgiving when none of us can look a turkey in the eye.”
“Ha! I’m glad you said it Bea, because I really didn’t want to eat leftovers again,” Dave replied.
“It’s only Friday, for heaven’s sake,” Fran said, laughing. “We ate turkey one day.”
Once the ice was broken after Kathy mentioned Harley’s name, it was like the floodgates opened up and they couldn’t stop talking about her. During dinner, the girls chimed in, sharing stories about their mother and aunt. The atmosphere was completely different than it had been with Tiffany around, where the mere mention of Harley’s name sent her into throws of sighing and eye-ball rolling.
Jason noticed too, and for the first time, he looked at Kathy differently. After dinner, he approached her. “Would you like to go to a movie with me tonight?” he asked. “I’ll ask my girls to babysit with Laura.”
“I’d like that,” she said.
“Even if you’re not attracted to me?” Jason teased.
“Even then,” Kathy replied, smiling, aware she might have the upper hand in their relationship and deciding to keep it that way for as long as she could.
Returning from their date after midnight, Jason carried Laura out to the car for Kathy, buckling her into her booster seat. Kathy rolled her window down and before she knew it, Jason leaned in and kissed her; a romantic kiss full on the mouth.
“Can I see you tomorrow?” he asked. “You can come back here, and bring your mother, if she’ll come. Harley’s sisters and mother are coming back here and I’d like you to meet them, too.”
Head spinning, Kathy’s natural inclination was to take her time making decisions and flee uncomfortable situations, especially as serious as meeting Jason’s in-laws. But she didn’t want to give in to fears. “I guess I could do that,” she said. “Do you think it’s important?”
“I do,” he said. “I want you to meet everyone. And I need to meet your mother.”
“Gosh, I swear to you, when I decided to come over here today, I had no idea we’d end up together.”
“Is it okay with you? Because I’m glad about it.”
Smiling, Kathy thought of Harley again. “I think Harley would be, too. She thought I’d be perfect for you.”
“Is that right?” Jason asked, reaching for her hand.
“It is,” Kathy replied. “‘I’m not sure about the cowboy boots, but the rest of it, I think Jason would love.’ Those were her exact words.”
Laughing, Jason stuck his head in the window again to try to see her feet. “I didn’t even notice what you had on your feet today,” he said.
“Fish scale-covered cowboy boots,” Kathy repl
ied. “I noticed people sniffing around me at the theater.”
“I guess we’re pretty comfortable with each other if we could go to the movies in the same clothes we cleaned fish and ate crabs in.”
“Yes, that’s a good indication. Pretty much with me is what you see is what you get.”
“That’s a relief,” Jason said, exhaling. “I’m too old for anything else.”
Waiting for her to buckle in and drive off, waving, Jason would go to sleep that night thinking about their conversations instead of waking up anguished that Harley was gone.
Chapter 31
The weekend was healing for more than just Jason and his girls. Fran and Joe talked about Kathy and Laura, sharing their observations, fantasizing about what it would be like if Jason was serious about her.
“I’m a little concerned about the child,” Joe said.
“Because she has Downs?” Fran asked.
“Sort of. Not that it’s a problem, but would she be in competition with Devon? That might not be fair.”
“You should watch them play sometime, Joe. Devon is so cute with her, so helpful. It would probably be good for both girls.
They felt hopeful for their son, although they still missed Harley horribly, they saw evidence of her in all four girls, and as time passed, they didn’t feel as despairing over her absence.
For Bea and Dave, the weekend had a positive effect. For the first time in months, years, Dave stopped thinking about himself. Watching his brother having to start fresh with a strange woman, the negative effect Tiffany had on the family, his relief was palpable when Jason took her back to Pennsylvania after dinner and returned alone the same night. New and exciting was not always the best. There was something to be said for the grounded, stable influence of a familiar mate.
Laying next to Bea in bed Saturday night, listening to her slow, steady breathing, he thought about what the day had been like after the months leading up to Harley’s death. At the very least, he could relax. Harley’s illness, the constant fight for her life, had displaced Dave’s wellbeing, a sense of normalcy he needed in order to function. Having someone so close to him dying pushed everything else in his life out of alignment. Selfish, ridiculous, irrational; he was aware of how he was perceived by his family, but he had no control over his behavior, like a child/wild-man, he was driven by emotions and sensations ostensibly cut off from his brain.
Doing restitution was impossible, and now of course, Harley was dead and he could never make up to her the cruelty. Grateful Bea and Harley had mended their relationship before she died, one regret he fortunately didn’t have, that he’d ruined it for them, too.
“Bea,” he whispered. “Bea, are you sleeping?”
“Sort of,” she moaned. “What’s wrong?”
“Can you forgive me?”
Waking up, she slowly turned over, Dave up on his elbow, his face illuminated by the moonlight. “For what?”
“You know what I mean,” he said, tormented, embarrassed.
“Dave, I really don’t. Please don’t get angry with me. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” There were so many things to forgive him for, she didn’t know where to start, and verbalizing that to him would only start a fight.
“Okay, this isn’t easy for me,” he said, reaching for the light switch at his bedside.
Oh crap, Bea thought. It’s gonna be an all nighter.
“I’m listening,” she said, sitting up, stifling a yawn.
“Can you forgive me for Candie Baker?”
“Oh, so now she’s Candie,” Bea said with a hint of sarcasm.
“Candace,” Dave corrected, willing to bite his tongue for the sake of peace. “Will you forgive me for talking to her?”
“Is that all you did?”
“Yes, I swear to you.”
“Sure, I can forgive that. It never really meant anything to me. What bothered me was you telling me you didn’t want to be married anymore. That was the biggie.”
“Well I had my head up my ass. Will you forgive me for that, too?”
“Does this mean the divorce is off?”
“If you’ll have me, yes,” he said. “I want to forget the past year ever happened. I need to make it up to you and my brother. It’s too late for Harley.”
“I think she figured it out, Dave. Don’t beat yourself up too much over it.”
“I wish I could’ve made it up to her though,” he said.
“You still can. Be there for her girls. It was her biggest worry, those four girls. Whenever you spend time with them or advise them or even show them you care, you’re making it up to her.”
Moved by how his wife was always able to sum life up so simply, Dave clicked off the bedside light and reached for her.
“I can do that. I’ll do whatever you tell me to do,” he whispered.
“Is that right?” Bea replied, wrapping her arms around him. “Tell me you love me.”
“I do love you,” Dave said. “More than anything.”
No one was as happy about Tiffany going home as Harley and Jason’s daughters. Even Devon admitted it. “I hope I don’t get into trouble with Santa for saying this, but Tiffany is not nice.”
“You said it,” Angie replied.
“I agree,” Bennie said.
They looked at Tina, waiting for her opinion. “What?” she asked.
“Well, are you glad she left? Do you think she’s not nice?”
“Um,” Tina said, watching her sisters frown; lost her restraint and started to laugh. “I don’t think she’s right for Dad.”
“Oh man, I never even let it get that far in my mind,” Angie said. “She’s not right for us, or Granny Fran, or especially Granny Maryanne or the shore house. She’s not right for anything.”
“I have to tell you something when Devon leaves,” Bennie whispered to Tina. “Angie already knows.”
Angie winked at her sisters. “Devon, let’s go find Granny Fran.” She led her away so Bennie could talk to Tina. But Tina didn’t really want to hear, worried it would validate something she was afraid might be true.
Bennie and Tina waited for their sisters to leave the room. “Okay, out with it. Now I’m ready to burst,” Tina said.
“I overheard Mom and Dad fighting about Tiffany last year, before Thanksgiving.”
“I don’t believe it,” Tina said. “I mean, I do, I suspected it, but I don’t want to believe my father is capable of being so selfish.”
“He really took good care of Mom,” Bennie said, backpedaling. “But I think maybe a harmless flirtation at work might have been too much for Mom. Tina, you could see the way he was with Tiffany, it was nothing more than a casual friendship. I didn’t get the vibe that they’d been intimate…”
Tina put her hands over her ears. “Oh, my God, are you kidding me? I don’t want to hear about it!”
“That’s all I was going to say, Tina. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“And Angie already knew about it,” Tina said, annoyed. “Was it just that one time that you heard?”
“Yes,” Bennie said, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry, Tina. I shouldn’t have said anything about it.”
“It’s fine,” Tina said, shaking her head in exasperation. “I overheard them, too. I wish you and Angie would have confided in me. I felt terrible about it.”
“Again, I’m sorry,” Bennie said.
“I think I felt sorry for Tiffany because it was clear Dad was using her to build his ego,” Tina replied.
“Isn’t that just like a man,” Angie said, returning without Devon. “I’ve never heard him use the tone of voice he used with her.”
“She obviously doesn’t understand subtlety,” Bennie said.
“Anyway, we don’t have to worry about Tiffany because I just overheard Dad talking to Kathy!” Angie said.
“Kathy I can tolerate,” Bennie said. “Because Mom liked her.”
“I really like her,” Tina said. “Her little daughter is sweet, too.”
“I’m sorry but I can’t wait to get back to school,” Angie said. “Whatever he’s going to do, I wish he’d just do it and leave us out of it.”
The others giggled, because they knew Angie didn’t mean it.
With winter approaching, even the guardhouse was dark, the over-fifty-five trailer park where Kathy Agin’s mother lived was quiet for a holiday weekend. Late Saturday night after leaving Jason, she pulled in with a sleeping Laura in back. Still feeling the glow after spending the day with him, his kiss helped her rethink the possibilities with him.
Smiling, she got out of the car and went to the back seat. Laura was getting almost too big to carry inside, but she’d struggle under her weight rather than wake her. Grateful how loving Harley’s children were with Laura, if anything more developed between Jason and her the kids would be okay.
Closing her eyes, she said in a whisper, “Harley, thank you. I hope this makes you happy.”
❋
Trying to recover from Jason’s rebuke, Tiffany spent the weekend with her young girlfriends including a few nurses who knew about him. “We tried to tell you it was too early for Jason,” Jaclyn said. “No offense, but I didn’t think you were in the running no matter what.”
“And now you’re the great seer,” Tiffany said, disgusted.
“No, but I am wise,” Jaclyn replied. “In the first place, you made it difficult for him on the job, the way you spread around his private business. I’ll never forget talking to his wife in the lounge. I knew then I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”
“You were stupid to engage her, not wise,” Tiffany said. Tiffany heard Jacklyn’s words loud and clear. “What else makes you think I’m not in the running?”
“I wondered if you were going to respond or pretend you didn’t hear me. You’re too young for him, that’s why. Jason looks like he’s thirty, but he’s almost forty and his kids aren’t that much younger than you are.”
“Yeah, and those kids, O-M-G. What a bunch of brats. Everything that comes out of the youngest one’s mouth is praised like she’s a genius.”
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